Sermon Tone Analysis

***Notes:

Intro:

Ryan Reed

Pastor at Christ Journey Church

I realize that we have not had the opportunity to get as acquatined as I would have liked before today, but God was already stirring in Alex’s heart - and his family’s - before this moment.

Alex heard a message that I gave at our church a couple of weeks ago and felt God stirring in his heart and shared this with his family, and so his dad asked me to share a few words this evening.

I feel humbled and honored to stand here with you and walk with you during one of the most challenging, confusing, and difficult times in your lives.

I wish that none of us were here today.

I don’t want to be here today.

But yet, there is no place else that I’d rather be than right here with all of you right now.

I cannot begin to fathom the emotions that many of you feel, especially Alex’s family.

My heart breaks for you.

No one here knows the kind of pain that you are feeling.

No one here can fully grasp your loss.

But our hearts are with you.

Moments like this raise a variety of emotions within each of us.

You may be feeling sadness, anger, bewilderment, confusion, and deep, unspeakable pain, the kind of pain that words fail to describe.

I want to give you permission this evening to own and feel all of those emotions - however you need to do so - as we remember and commemorate Alex’s life.

If you need to cry, then cry.

If you need to shake your fist, then shake it.

If you need some personal space to think and process, then do it.

If you need to process outlaid your emotions with someone, then find a trusted friend.

God crafted every one of you with emotions, so you need to feel and respond them, especially during times of loss.

To not do so would be unhealthy and create more pain than necessary.

Over these next several days and weeks, seek out opportunities to gather together with one another - and especially with Alex’s family - to share as many happy, joyful, and positive memories of Alex that you can muster.

This keeps his memory alive, and his family needs to know that you remember him - and not just today, but 6 months from now and a year for now

Share your stories about him - what he loved to do, places he loved to visit, special people for whom he cared, and always cherish the amazing contribution that he made to your life during his short time with you.

As we get started, let me pray for us…

As we remember Alex, would anyone like to share a brief minute long story about Alex?

Sermon:

As we navigate through these dark days ahead of us, where do we find hope?

How do we keep going?

“We live on a different planet now.”

[[[Pam Aparicio]]]

Like many of you, I feel so tempted to somehow try to make sense of this tragedy, as if finding an answer would somehow solve this situation and bring him back.

But even if we could answer the why question - the head question, this question still does not answer the heart question… of how you heal from the pain of your loss.

Your heart hurts.

Even if you knew why this happened and could explain it with data, those answers would not be enough to solve your heart pain… because you want him here.

You want your life back to normal.

This tragedy does not fit into how we thought our world worked a few days ago, nor does it fit into how your future might look.

This tragedy does not fit into the kind of relationship that you enjoyed with Alex.

We cannot make sense of his death - nor should we.

This reality never fit into the picture of how we thought our world would look.

Yet, in the midst of our pain, in the depths of our despair, in the cries of our heart, I believe that my faith as a Christian provides us with a perspective on how to cope with Alex’s death… Because as a Christian and as a Pastor, I believe that… God meets us here… precisely in moments like these – during our utter anguish and chaos and distress – within the darkest places of your heart.

Here - in moments like these - is where I believe God finds you.

He did for me in my darkest hour, and he also did for a man named David who wrote the majority of the poems contained in the Bible called the Psalms.

The people who followed God back then, as well as those who do now - read some of these Psalms together during moments like these.

One writer called David a man after God’s own heart.

Yet, even a man like David who chased after God’s own heart endured unspeakable pain and hardships.

So much that during his most difficult hardship, he fled from everything he knew and hid in a cave.

Now, regardless of what you might think about Christianity, church, and faith, let me ask you a question: how many of you right now feel like you want to flee this moment and hide in a dark cave away from all of this?

[[[Raise hand]]] All of us do.

While in that cave, David wrote 3 poems that gave expression to his emotions that may also do the same for you.

Listen to how he describes his anguish, and let it resonate with yours, for David may vocalize emotions that you may yet be able to speak for yourself.

And hear how in the midst of a dark, dingy cave, David looked with eyes gazed upward to find a God who would promise to remain with him during that difficult season of life.

These 3 poems capture the raw human emotion that follows after a tragedy like this one.

Your heart may feel eerily similar to the inside of the cave from where David wrote these poems.

But hear also how these poems progress from just ‘pure venting’ to ‘a healing balm’ that I believe is true for everyone of us here this morning.

Listen to the first poem he wrote called Psalm 142:

1-2 I cry out loudly to God, loudly I plead with God for mercy.

I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail:

3-7 “As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away, you know how I’m feeling, know the danger I’m in, the traps hidden in my path.

Look right, look left—there’s not a soul who cares what happens!

I’m up against it, with no exit— bereft, left alone.

I cry out, God, call out:

 ‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’

Oh listen, please listen; I’ve never been this low.

Does this at all feel familiar to you with what you may be experiencing right now?

It does for me.

Listen again to how these phrases read:

I cry out loudly to God.

I plead with God for mercy I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away I’m up against it with no exit – bereft, left alone.

You’re my last chance, my only hope for life.

These words express on behalf of us the unspeakable emotions that we cannot speak for ourselves.

David puts language to the visceral, guttural, human responses to tragedy…

He cries… pleads… sinks… ebbs…

David names his emotion - and we need to learn from this - that in his Psalm he feels his emotion all the way through to completion.

I want to encourage you to do the same as you grieve Alex’s loss.

During moments like these, some people may feel pressure from themselves or others to hide their emotions.

Others may block off their emotions and never deal with them.

But I want you to make a different response to this situation.

Let yourself feel your emotions.

And as I said a few moments ago, do this however you need to within a safe and healthy environment.

Find your safe place wherever it might be and let yourself become unabashedly free to express your emotions in ways that promote your health and grieving process.

Talk to a safe, trustworthy friend.

Write down your thoughts in a journal to capture your feelings.

Go back and re-read them later so that you can monitor your growth and healing.

Find a way to honor Alex’s memory.

A friend of mine - a parent who lost a teenage daughter in a tragic manner - found solace hiking the same trails that he and his daughter walked together.

For him, that activity became a way that he could remember special moments and conversations with her.

Whatever you choose to do, please do not ignore either this moment or the many more moments to follow to grieve this loss.

Sometime later, while still living in a cave, David wrote his second poem.

As I read it to you, I want you to hear a distinct shift in his emotions that takes place in this poem.

It reads:

1-3 Be good to me, God—and now!

I’ve run to you for dear life.

I’m hiding out under your wings until the hurricane blows over.

I call out to High God, the God who holds me together.

He sends orders from heaven and saves me; he humiliates those who kick me around.

God delivers generous love, he makes good on his word.