Sermon Tone Analysis

*Colossians Series*

*Following Jesus In Your Marriage (Col.

3:18-19)*

*By Bill Denton*

 

*Introduction*

A.  Illustration

After reading a book called Man of the House during his commute home from work, the enlightened husband stormed into the house to confront his wife.

Pointing his finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law.

Tonight you are to prepare me a gourmet meal and a sumptuous dessert.

Then, when I’m done eating, you're going to draw me a bath so I can have a relaxing soak.

And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife responded, "My guess is the funeral director."

Mikey's Funnies

1.  Unfortunately that little story illustrates the all-too-common approach of both

     spouses in a marriage

a.  the husband - an overbearing, demanding, abusive, lout who constantly

     insists that he is the head man and everybody else needs to bow down in

     total obedience

 

b.  the wife - a tricky, cunning, deceitfully suspicious person who is constantly

     figuring out ways to get around her husband and get her own way and who

     becomes emotionally distraught at any suggestion that her "rights" are

     under fire

 

2.

I may have exaggerated slightly -- but only slightly!

B.

I've done enough marriage counseling to know that among church-going couples, the Bible

     is often used as proof that the fault lies with the other person, but they're quoting the

     wrong verse

1.  Husbands will quote the passages that tell wives to be submissive as if all the

     problems in the marriage will disappear if the wife will just do what he wants

 

2.

Wives will quote the passage that tell husbands to love their wives as if all the

     problems in the marriage will disappear if the husband will do what she wants

 

C.

To be honest, that's pretty much how many Christians have read their Bibles and it's not far

     from how a lot of preachers have taught it

1.

Let me just say that if you're harboring such thoughts, you're a long way from

     filling your role in marriage as God wants

 

2.

Marriage, for Christians, is determined by how you follow Jesus - a fact not always

     understood

*I.

The Foundation For Marriage Is Following Christ*

A.  Whatever Paul meant in Col. 3:18-19, it is part of a broader discussion, and it cannot mean

     something at odds with that broader discussion

1.

Colossians 2:8-13

8See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.

9For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, 10and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority; 11and in Him you were also circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, in the removal of the body of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ; 12having been buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also raised up with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead.

13When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, NASB95

 

2.

Colossians 3:1-2

1Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

2Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.

NASB95

 

3.

Colossians 3:5-10

5Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.

6For it is because of these things that the wrath of God will come upon the sons of disobedience, 7and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them.

8But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, /and /abusive speech from your mouth.

9Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its /evil /practices, 10and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him— NASB95

 

4.

Colossians 3:12-15

12So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

14Beyond all these things /put on /love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.

NASB95

 

 

B.

Here's the point you can't escape - when a person becomes a disciple of Jesus, he is not just

     saved from the consequences of his sins, he is born again into a new life, one that is ruled

     by Jesus and based on a divine standard of behavior - and it includes marriage relationships

 

*II.

How Does A Jesus-Following Wife Behave In Marriage?*

A.  The consistent biblical answer is that she voluntarily submits to her husband

1.

I want the men to pay attention to the fact that there is no verse telling them that are

     to demand submission, or force submission on their wives

 

2.

Submission is to be a voluntary thing, and from the woman's point of view, is very

     much a part of her overall following of Jesus as his disciple

 

B.

Paul is very concerned about marriage, the family, and the proper kind of relationships

     developing between husbands and wives

1.

In today's world, Paul's words sound outdated and offensive to many

a.  Paul is often accused of being a woman-hater and his teachings are accused

    of promoting an offensive subjugation of women

 

b.

nothing could be further from the truth - we need to read these words not only

     in their context, but in light of real-life in the ancient world

 

c.

Barclay - "under Jewish law a woman was a thing" - she was property like his

     house, flocks, or material goods, and she had few legal rights

 

d.

Barclay - "In Greek society, a respectable woman lived a life of entire

     seclusion"

 

e.

Barclay - "Under both Jewish and Greek laws and custom all the privileges

     belonged to the husband and all the duties to the wife"

 

2.

Paul effectively made marriage a partnership, totally turning the concept of marriage

     in the ancient world on its head

a.  are there legitimate differences in roles for husbands and wives, and do those

     roles include giving the husband a greater authority role - it surely seems so!

 

b.  but there the similarities with ancient marriage seem to stop - whatever the

     authority of the husband, it is not imposed on the wife against her will, it is

     chosen by the wife as an acknowledgment of God's design for marriage

 

C.

Beyond this, read "submission" in the context of Paul's letter to the Colossians

1.

In light of a woman who has died to self and risen to a new life in Christ

 

2.

In light of a woman no longer seeking things of this life, but seeking things above

 

3.

In light of a woman no longer guided by worldly philosophies or customs based on