09(1Sam 18) Valued Friendships

There are many people who spend a great deal of their time and life tearing down relationships rather than building them. This may be without consideration of the results of their actions; however, there are serious consequences.

I.       What provokes troubled relationships?

§  Five things that are detrimental to relationships:

A.     Jealousy (18:5, 8-9) Why? insecurity "the Kingdom?"

§  "…jealousy is cruel as the grave" Song of Solomon 8:6

§  Why was he insecure and jealous? I Samuel 16:14

B.     Selfishness (18:8) head strong determination

C.     Dupes (18:22-23)

§  Those who are gullible - a person who easily or unwittingly serves the cause of another person.

D.     Gossips (18:24) Troublemakers

§  Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.

§  Proverbs 26:20 Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.

E.      Insubordination (lack of respect for authority or another’s position)

§  To God’s commands:

·         Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.

·         Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

§  To a person’s position:

·         Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;

·         1 Samuel 24:6 And he said to his men, "The LORD forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the LORD's anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the LORD."

II.    What is produced by troubled relationships?

§  the worst case scenario is domestic violence

A.     Broken Fellowship (his father-in-law) destroying something whole -that which could be.

§  with God (Matt. 5:21-24

§  with others – it’s contagious, far reaching results

B.     Burden Hearts (20:1, 3)

§  Proverbs 26:20 Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases. 21 As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife. 22 The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, And they go down into the inmost body.

C.     Bitter Spirits (1 Sam. 18:29)

§  Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.

§  Hebrews 12:14 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;

§  Saul was set on killing David - (19:1, 10-11, 15, 20:31)

§  It controlled his life.

III. What can prevent troubled relationships?

§  You can’t prevent them from taking place but you can prevent them from affecting you personally.

§  David chose to leave rather than argue the merits.

A.     Choose a friend who has a vision for his life...(14:1)

§  Jonathan was not content to stay in the valley, he had a mountain to climb.

§  He challenged his armour bearer to come against the enemy.

B.     Choose a friend who lives by Faith... (14:6)

§  Jonathan had his faith in the Lord.

§  He knew his only chance of victory was to depend upon the Lord to help in battle.

C.     Choose a friend who gives you his whole heart... (18:4)

§  Jonathan held nothing back.

§  He was a whole-hearted Christian.

§  Note how Jonathan humbled himself before David.

§  In much the same way, we need to daily humble ourselves before the Lord.

IV. Conclusion:

§  Choose Jesus to be your best friend!

§  Proverbs 18:24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

§  He held nothing back. He went to the cross. Let us surrender to Him!

§  Saul used friendships, Jonathan treasured them.

§  We value loyalty, but we must carefully choose who is to receive that loyalty. At times loyalty to one creates a conflict of loyalty to another. How do you choose?

§  Which person is motivated by seeking God’s best, and which is selfishly trying to tear down.

§  Which is trying to improve the kingdom, and which is coaxing you to weaken the kingdom work.

§  Which will leave you feeling more of a servant, and which more self-justified.