Sermon Tone Analysis

Jesus Redeems Marriage

In a recent Pew research poll about marriage it is said that more people than ever cite Loe as being the primary reason for marriage.

It is seen as more important than having it be a lifelong commitment or for constant companionship.

Even fewer people polled believe that it should serve the purpose of starting a family, meaning that less and less people believe that marriage is essential before starting a family.

And if that weren’t bad enough marriages recognized and administrated by religious organizations like the church are ever on the decline, as people feels it is not necessary to making marriage covenant vows.

More and more people elect to have someone other than a pastor or faith leader join them in marriage.

Sone of the people polled even stated that financial stability, legal rights and other benefits like health insurance were main motivators in their marriage.

This same poll stated that Co-habitation is up some 29% among those under the age of 30, since 2007.

Meaning that more and more Millennials are Living together before marriage, because, as an older generation has said… If you can get the milk for free, why buy the cow???

I understand how politically incorrect that may sound but none the less true.

I understand how politically incorrect that may sound but none the less true.

I could on and on with statistics about marriage and even how marriage in the church in America has matched societies divorce rates for some time now.

So the Question is… Is Marriage Really Necessary Anymore???

While those outside the church would give us a resounding NO, I would submit to you that marriage and specifically healthy marriages are more important now than ever as they can actually be a distinct marker between those who belong to faith and those who do not.

You see Marriage has been instilled in the very fabric of our being by God, and is meant to stir up a longing for love that is merely a preparation for the LOVE OF CHRIST!

I love what Richard Coekin said about marriage in the church...

“Among God’s people marriage is no longer a battleground, but a field of Victory, where sinners can remain united to each other in service to Christ”

In the text we have today, I want to understand the deeper meaning of marriage that I touched on a few weeks ago, and see some very practical understanding that will help us practice a healthy marriage.

Before we get started looking at this passage in detail I want you to notice that wives and husbands are specifically spoken to here in scripture.

God didn’t not only speak to Men and tell them to pass the message on to their wives.

The fact that both men and women are addressed here shows that both male and female are accountable to God for fulfilling their specific part in marriage.

Neither husbands or wives are more or less important in marriage.

We are going to see different roles and divine order but we are not meant to see differences and order as a means of priority in importance.

There is no favoritism here between genders as both are created in the Image of God, and both are completely necessary for a marriage to work.

BUt before we exegete this text there is a set up i the book of Ephesians that we need to see.

Now there is obviously more than just these 3 verses, yet I believe there is something so profound that we cannot miss it when looking at roles of Husbands and wives.

The idea of Grace!

You are saved by Pure Grace through Faith, meaning it is not because of something you have done, but rather you are saved because you believe in the work of Christ done on your behalf.

This is a gift of God to you!

You cannot boast about that, because you didn’t earn it and it is not conditional upon your performance as a christian in keeping that.

But there is a purpose in God saving you by his grace through faith!

Verse 10 spells it out...

You and I were created by God in Christ Jesus FOR good works… not just to do good works but rather FOR the good works that God prepared beforehand that you should walk in them.

Now the whole rest of the book of Ephesians Paul will lay out how this works.

First in the salvation, being a foreigner to the Covenant God made with his people you will now be brought into that relationship and Jesus will destroy any dividing wall of hostility.

In his church he will make known Gods Love to the world through his believers who are being equipped by those called to serve and lead them.

His children will now walk as children in the Light of the Gospel and renounce the ways they used to live, and this will inform every role they have in this life.

Including but not limited to, marriage, parenting, work, and their spiritual standing in Christ.

Ephesians is one of my favorite books in the NT.

WHY because the Good works we are made FOR are found in these roles.

Husbands and wives, your role in marriage is a role that God prepared for you beforehand, that will be the arena where these good works are shown most beautifully!

For the christian believer, marriage is not about your happiness, but rather it is a new dimension to Serve God with Gospel.

When we make our marriages primarily about our happiness we lose the ability to share Gospel Grace with each other, because it becomes something we want to serve us rather than an institution we serve that points us to Christ.

Your spouse is a sinner, and so are you… As much as you need Grace to be saved and daily grace from God until the day you die, you need your spouse to show you this same Grace, and you need to show it to your spouse… that is the good works you were prepared beforehand to walk in.

And that gives more value to being together and raising children who will grow to love and serve the Lord as well!

So, in short everything we will see today is a good work God called you to do!

Before we get specific, please hear this… the reason for anyone to Submit or show preference to another, to follow an others leadership, is out of reverence to Christ!

Those who Jesus Redeems long to please him

Meaning if Jesus has really redeemed your life from the pit, you now have a deep Love for Christ and you Long to please him with your life.

This is true Gospel motivation… You pleasing Christ cannot earn you anymore of a salvation than has already been provided for you, yet there should be a desire to no longer live displeasing to him.

So out of Reverence to him you submit to each other in the church.

And if we are doing that, then our marriage should long to please Christ as well.

In our marriages we have male and female genders who are made to fit, as we saw in , they are 2 who become 1 flesh… yet they are still distinctly different and have different roles… Paul will now address those roles.

Ok 3 things I want you to see here...

First - This is voluntary submission, not forced by the husband… It is done as unto the Lord.

Meaning that an unbeliever cannot truly do this, because they have no true relationship to the Lord.

This is one of the reasons why marriage outside of those who belong to the household of Faith in Christ will not work properly.

If you can’t submit to Christ, you can’t submit to your husband.

Secondly - this is the wife’s service to the Lord.

Paul didn’t say, “Submit to your own husband because it is just better that way and you will save yourselves some headaches”… He expressly say “as to the Lord”… Meaning this is done as part of your service to the Lord.

Third - I would submit to you that this is the only thing that woman can do to show she has been redeemed from the fall in … Submit to him as you do to God, even though your desires will be contrary to him because your nature is fallen… It is against the grain and feels un-natural because the sin nature wants nothing to do with submitting to him.

Now I am not saying all this without being aware that there are some issues with submission in our culture.

There is an evil perversion of this idea that would look like men being domineering over women… In fact this has been abused for so long that now the idea of liberation from that kind of bigotry is more beautiful… And the Bible would agree it is, Because that is not what submission means and it has been highjacked by sinful men who have used this a reason to persist in sin behavior, and God will Judge them for it.

But rather than talking about what submission isn’t and getting caught up in all the ways that mankind has perverted it, let me tell you what submission is.

Submission is about recognizing authority.

Submission looks like joyfully and willingly serving that authority.

Submission does this as the authority generously Loves and Leads those in submission to them.Submission paves the way for true loving leadership to be shown as such.

It is all about respect that comes from Love… True submission is not something that needs to be earned based on a validating performance record.

True submission is given as freely as the Grace that was given to you in Christ!

This is part of the triune nature of God...

God the Father Leads, plans, and predestines

God the son and God the Spirit willingly serve the Fathers plan!

(I will show you more how in a moment…)

Both are necessary to save us!

When Authority is exercised Lovingly and Submission is given willingly it destroys the idea that one is superior or inferior to the other.

This is because they are truly complementary.

Let get back to this concept in the text...

So an interesting thing here… It says that the Husband is the head of the wife… We know this does not mean in a literal sense, obviously… but rather in a spiritual sense.

This is clearly talking about something that has serious implications.

For some reason this has somehow been used in a way for man to dominate woman, because they are the head… And this is sinful and wrong, yet women just use their sinful nature and say that if man is the head, then they are the Neck that turns the head… and this is just even more sinful.

I would submit to you that if the Husband is the head of the wife, then the health of that marriage is dependent on the Husbands getting their act together!

When men abdicate their God given role in marriage and let their wives be the spiritual head they lose all ability to lead and take any reason for their wives to willingly submit to them away.

But more on the husbands in a moment...

He his the head, as Christ is the Head of the Church… which Christ is the Savior… Please lets not forget who the savior is.

Why do I say that?

Because Christ is the Savior, not the Husband.

When wives start looking to their husbands to be the Savior that is Idolatry...

When a husbands try to be the Savior by forcing submission he usurps Christs Lordship...

Why does that happen??? Look at the fall.

Gen3.

When a woman has a desire for her husband, to both need him for fulfillment and to want his position, (which Pastor Chad showed how both of things are possible last week…) she is sinning and this is because of the Fall.

When a man rules over woman, it is because of the Fall and so it get twisted from a helpful position to an angry boss like role.

So Sin ruins what should be good, yet Ephesians is written to Believers, meaning those who Christ has redeemed.

I would submit to you that Jesus redeems marriage for the wife in her fallen nature by allowing her to willingly and joyfully submit to her husband as unto the Lord, and that puts Lordship on Christ!

Jesus redeems Submission for women

But how does he do this… by simply giving her the opportunity to submit?

By telling her she has to?

No… By giving the greatest picture of submission, one that she is already included in… By pointing her to the gathering of his people...

So ladies, look to those around you.

Do they willingly and joyfully come and gather, to they willingly and joyfully give and serve, do they willingly and joyfully sing, and love those called to them from the world?