Sermon Tone Analysis
Overall tone of the sermon
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Emotion Tone
Anger
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Disgust
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Analytical
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Conscientiousness
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Extraversion
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Notes from Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries
Common Ground
Every child is a gift from the Lord.
Every parent is a steward of their child(ren).
Steward = God given responsibility with accountability.
Each parent is under the headship of Christ as our creator, redeemer, and king.
Parents are NOT the final authority of their children.
Parenting is a great opportunity for discipleship.
Example: - the first generation of Israelites who grew up in the Promised Land ‘knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel’.
Common Struggles
Having a “Parent-Centered” or “Child-Centered” home:
Defining a Parent-Centered home:
“When they fail to live up to your expectations, we find ourselves not grieving for them or fighting for them, but angry at them, fighting against them, and, in fact, grieving ourselves and our loss.”
Paul Tripp - Age of Opportunity
Elements of a Parent-Centered home:
Pride - The parent is always right or is very slow to admit one’s fault and seek forgiveness.
Pro
Control - expecting children to obey them, but the parent disobeys authority (God’s, etc.).
Hypocritical - expecting children to behave one way, but justifying one’s own behavior.
Busy - neglecting to get any time with each child.
Inconsistency - enforcing rules and corrections one day, but not the next.
Self-Centered - all decisions and choices are totally based on the parent and his or her wishes.
Impatience - the idea that “I want my child to do RIGHT NOW!
Expectations - the child has to be, do, and become everything the parents expect of them.
Idolatry - parents making the desires of their heart more important than pleasing God.
What are some possible “idols of the heart” for parents?
comfort
respect
appreciation
success (spiritual, educational, athletic, occupational)
control
How do you know when something is an idol of your heart?
How do you respond when you don’t get what you want?
Are you willing to sin in order to get what you want?
Defining a Child-Centered home:
“A child-centered home is one in which a child believes and is allowed to behave as though the entire household, parents, siblings, and even pets exist for one purpose = to please them.”
Lou Priolo - The Heart of Anger
Elements of a Child-Centered home:
No Consequences - a child clearly sins and the parent allows them to get away with it.
Manipulation - a child reacts in anger, clams-up, or cries to get what they want.
Selfishness - the child gets whatever they want (it’s all about them, not others).
Demanding - the child insists that things be done their way and when they want.
Priorities - the child becomes more important than one’s spouse.
Responsibilities - the child has no responsibilities (parents do it all for the child).
Communication - the child tells the parent what to do as if the child is equal or in charge.
Never Offended - the parents do all they can to not offend their child.
Elements of more severe parent/child-centered homes:
Abusive situations: physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
Step-family issues (as a result of divorce or sexual involvement prior to marriage)
Drug and/or alcohol abuse by the child
Suicidal children
Sexual problems (internet, actual sexual relations, and other sexual disorders)
Legal violations by the parent and/or the children
Common Solution
Having a “God-Centered” home:
Deu 6
2 Tim
The characteristics of a God-centered home
Definition of a God-Centered home:
“The concept of a God-centered home is derived from the biblical principle that the purpose of every Christian is to glorify God.
In contrast to a child-centered home, where pleasing and serving the child is the dominant theme, the God-centered home is one in which everyone is committed to pleasing in serving God.
God's desires are exalted over everyone else's.
Everyone in the family may be expected to sacrifice personal pleasure if God’s will requires it.
This philosophy teaches children to serve rather than to be served, to honor rather then be honored, to give or be loving rather than take.”
The concept of a God centered home is derived from the biblical principle that the purpose of every Christian is to glorify God.
In contrast to a child centered home, where pleasing and serving the child is the dominant theme, the God centered home is one in which everyone is committed to pleasing in serving God.
God's desires are exalted over everyone else's.
Everyone in the family may be expected to sacrifice personal pleasure if God’s will requires it.
This philosophy teaches children to serve rather than to be served, to honor rather then be honored, to give or be loving rather than take.
Lou Priolo - The Heart of Anger
Elements of a God-Centered home:
Truth Observing - the source of truth (inspired and sufficient Word of God).
Worship Giving - loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and loving others.
Glorify God - by thinking and acting like Christ.
Gospel Proclaiming - who Christ is and who you are in Christ.
Heart Transforming - dealing with issues of the heart, not simply outward behavior.
God Glorifying - by thinking and acting like Christ.
Results of a God-Centered home
Right view of self.
Right view of others.
love them
serve them
Common Steps
Moving Toward a “God-Centered” home:
There is hope for parents because God has revealed many truths about parenting.
Parents should seek to bring glory to God by fulfilling the mission to which God has called them.
Common Struggles
Common Solution
Common Steps - application 1
God has given the responsibility particularly to the fathers
A wife and mother play an important part in the process of parenting.
We should be sensitive to single moms or single dads who do this on their own.
Pray for them and their children.
Mentor their children (individual men/women connected to each child).
Encourage them and their children on a regular basis.
Obey God's command of “… do not provoke your children to anger”
This command does not mean a parent is to never oppose, deny, cross, or upset the child.
This command does imply a child is not to be brought up in any angry, impulsive lifestyle.
There are examples of how a child's sinful anger might be expressed.
Anger can take the form of open rebellion against any authority.
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