Sermon Tone Analysis

“I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”[1]

The people of Newburyport, Massachusetts were scandalized in the summer of 2004 when their mayor, Mary Anne Clancy, admitted to an affair with a married gym teacher.

Clancy never imagined her tryst would be discovered.

It only lasted a few weeks, there was never any physical contact, and all the evidence could be erased at the touch of a button.

But when her husband Brian found the romantic e-mails his wife had exchanged with her paramour, he followed the man home, assaulted him, and subsequently was jailed.[2]

The ensuing headlines gave readers a look at a still largely hidden but rapidly growing threat to families—cyber-infidelity. Cyber-infidelity is defined as the act of engaging in acts of a romantic or sexual nature with an individual or individuals through electronic or virtual communities.

The electronic communities can consist of dating websites, email discussion lists, interactive games, chat rooms or newsgroups, and certainly includes pornography sites.[3]

Whilst it is obvious to all but the deliberately obtuse that using pornography for personal gratification is detrimental to the marriage relationship, it appears that with increasing frequency women are seeking “romance” through fantasy role-playing using avatars and chat rooms to hide their identity.

Above all else, cyber-infidelity is a violation of the trust necessary to a strong marriage.

Cyber-adultery, says one author, has become “a huge, huge issue… You’ve got this box on your desk that is accessible all the time with little or no effort.

That just makes it too easy for a lot of people to communicate.

People sneak down to their computers while their spouse is sleeping… They don’t have to meet someone at the bar.”[4]

Sadly, a husband no longer has to sneak out of the house to commit adultery.

All he has to do is stay up a little later than his wife.

It is no secret that marriage is under assault from multiple quarters.

From skyrocketing divorce rates, to governmental accession to homosexuals’ demands for married status, to a vast and general indifference toward this ancient institution—marriage as a pillar of western culture seems to be tottering on the edge of destruction.

People have forgotten why marriage matters; and this cultural ignorance will only deepen as more husbands and wives find themselves enmeshed in the dark side of the Internet, hopelessly confused about what marks the line between “surfing” and infidelity.

Already, some myopic individuals are beginning to excuse Internet sex, arguing that because most of these cyber-affairs never lead to physical encounters, they are actually “safe infidelity.”

But infidelity is infidelity where the Word of God is concerned and adultery is adultery.

The Bible teaches that adultery is first and foremost a sin of the heart’s imagination.

“[E]veryone who looks at a woman with lustful intent,” said Jesus, “has already committed adultery with her in his heart” [*Matthew 5:28*].

Adultery does not require physical intercourse.

It is a matter of broken vows, shattered trust, and ruined families.

It is betrayal, and putting the word “cyber” in front of it does not make it any less real or any less devastating or any less evil.

The message this day seeks to strengthen the marriages of those who listen.

Undoubtedly, every individual who has been married for more than a few months has at some point been disappointed in his or her spouse.

We cannot be individuals without discovering that our spouse occasionally disappoints us.

However, we pledged to accept our spouse for better or for worse, and before God, we are responsible to love, respect and honour him or her.

Tragically, we have come to a day when it is distressingly easy to engage in fantasies that superficially appear harmless.

However, the Master exposes the danger of all such “harmless” fantasies.

Join me in exploring the Word of God concerning adultery via the Internet.

*Adultery, a Definition* — Secret sin cannot be tolerated if the child of God is to please the Master.

All secret sin must be exposed and renounced if a Christian is to live a holy life that is pleasing before the Lord.

Though there are perhaps many sins that are privately embraced, whilst He was seated on the side of a Galilean mount, the Master delivered a sermon in which He exposed those secret sins which are most egregious.

Christians generally identify this message He delivered by speaking of it as “The Sermon on the Mount.”

In the first part of the message, Jesus addressed the need for His followers to be salt and light in the world [*Matthew 5:13-16*], encouraging all who profess to know God to glorify Him through the conduct of their lives.

He confronted the tendency of His people to selectively apply the divine Law [*Matthew 5:18-20*], urging them to seek the righteousness of God.

In identifying the common tendency to harbour secret sin, Jesus exposed anger as sin [*Matthew 5:21-26*].

Likewise, lustful thoughts [*Matthew 5:27-30*], divorce [*Matthew 5:31, 32*], relying upon oaths rather than a truthful life [*Matthew 5:33-37*], attempting to justify retaliation [*Matthew 5:38-42*], and harbouring bitterness toward those who may have wronged one [*Matthew 5:43-48*] are alike sinful.

The Master exposed the heart, leaving no refuge for those who imagine they can treat secret sin lightly while claiming intimacy with the Living God.

Earlier, I stated that adultery is a sin of the heart, as is evident from the words of the Master that are recorded in the text.

We are accustomed to thinking that adultery requires physical intercourse in order to be adultery.

Indeed, that is the criterion applied in legal proceedings.

Few of us would think of flirting as adulterous.

However, there is a line that, however blurred it may seem, must not be crossed.

And though that line may not lend itself to precise definition, God, who knows the heart, knows when an individual has crossed that line.

Whenever an individual looks at another person with more than casual interest in his or her physical attributes, whenever one allows sexual desires to dictate how they view another person, they have crossed the line.

Should the one creating an attraction in the heart be already married to another individual, they are crossing over into the realm of violating the trust of the spouse.

Underscore in your mind that Jesus is not attempting to provide a legal definition; He is addressing the greater issue of a holy life required of anyone who would please the Father.

Jesus is teaching those who profess to worship God the necessity of a pure heart.

You will recall that the Master taught his people, “Out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.

These are what defile a person” [*Matthew** 15:19, 20a*].

When an individual rules over the heart, he or she controls his or her actions.

This brings up the issue of susceptibility and responsibility in the realm of sexuality.

First, anyone is susceptible to temptation.

God created us with a desire for companionship and a desire for sex.

These desires are good, primarily because God gave them to us.

The Word of God recognises the human desire for sexual fulfillment, and addresses the issue quite forthrightly.

Paul has written, “Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.

Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” [*1 Corinthians 7:2-5*].

It is expected that husbands and wives will enjoy normal sexual relations.

In part, this is to circumvent the “temptation to sexual immorality” that is a tragic part of all human nature.

To be certain, Jesus taught that “Some men are celibate from birth, while others are celibate because they have been made that way by others.

Still others are celibate because they have made themselves that way for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven”[5] [*Matthew 19:12*].

Singleness permits devotion to the cause of Christ—if one can handle it [*1 Corinthians 7:1, 6, 7*].

Singleness is wonderful if the individual is able to control their desires.

However, the Apostle has taught, “If [Christians] cannot exercise self-control, they should marry.

For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” [*1 Corinthians 7:9*].

In other words, the desire for sexual fulfillment is normal; surrendering to those desires outside of marriage as God intended is ungodly.

Therefore, God gave us marriage, in no small measure to provide a holy outlet for the desires that He created within us.

We could say that */marriage is intended for purity/*.

I have always been impressed by the beautiful picture of marriage presented in the union of Isaac and Rebekah.

You will recall the account provided in *Genesis** 24* that details how Abraham’s servant sought a wife for Isaac.

Rebekah did go with the servant, and as they neared the place where Abraham was staying, Rebekah saw Isaac.

The Word of God says, “She dismounted from the camel and said to the servant, ‘Who is that man walking in the field to meet us?’

The servant said, ‘It is my master.’

So she took her veil and covered herself.

And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done.”

Now, take special note of the final verse: “Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her.

So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death” [*Genesis** 24:64b-67*].

The physical love husband and wife shared was a source of comfort to Isaac.

It is a beautiful picture of the impact of sexual expression within the marriage relationship.

Thus, it is appropriate to say that */marriage is intended for pleasure/*.

*/Marriage is also intended for procreation/*.

Malachi makes this evident when he says of the marriage union that God was seeking godly offspring [see *Malachi 2:15*].

In fact, in that verse, the prophet makes it clear that the Lord lays claim to a part of every marriage since there is “a portion of His Spirit in [each] union.”

Malachi speaks of marriage as a covenant, not a mere contract of convenience.

In fact marriage reflects God’s relationship to His people.

Ideally, when a man and woman marry, they picture the relationship of Christ and the people of God.

Paul addresses this in *Ephesians 5:22-33*.

Listen to this vital passage of Scripture.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savoir.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself.