Building Family Resilience

Leo Tolstoy observed that “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” However, it seems he was not quite right. Although each family has its own individual hang-ups, there are common issues that many families face. It may feel like our types of family situations are unique, but in most cases, millions of families around the world are dealing with the same problems. While they may seem overwhelming to solve, with enough knowledge and dedication, all the problems in this article and more can be worked through. 1. Distance

Distance, because of work or other reasons, can be a strain on an otherwise healthy relationship. And if you have kids, it can be challenging to be away from them for an extended period of time, especially if you have to travel often.

2. A Cluttered Schedule

As a parent, it may seem as if you have no time. Your schedule may be cluttered with work, chores, and your children’s events, leaving little time for the things you want to do.

3. Arguments and Fights

Disagreements are normal. After all, we all have our own opinions. However, when healthy communication falters and discussions increasingly become arguments, a solution must be found.

4. Disagreements On Parenting

If you have been a parent for more than one day, you will most likely have disagreed with your partner on some aspect of parenting. Disagreements on parenting styles are bound to happen, and they are an unavoidable part of having a family.

5. Work-Life Balance

Work is a high priority in the lives of many parents, as it is for most adults. The tension between needing to provide financially for one’s family and wanting to be there for them physically and emotionally can result in an uneven work-life balance.

6. Money Problems

A significant stressor in many family’s lives, financial troubles can add significant tension to any household.

7. Unfaithfulness

Infidelity is, unfortunately, one of the main reasons for divorce. It is a challenging problem to solve within a marriage, let alone a family. When a partner cheats, you may wonder how a marriage can be put back together, or if it is worth it to continue.

8. Difficult Children

From the toddlers going through their “terrible twos” to the trying nature of teens, raising children can be challenging, and at times you may feel your last nerve has been tried. Just know that while you cannot control your children’s every action, you can control how you teach them to deal with decisions and behaviors. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/8-common-family-issues-and-how-to-solve-them/

Another site suggests that there are ten adding a family member having a mental illness and Devorce.

The situation that we face in Jamaica as it pertains to our families are similar to the proposed eight point mentioned earlier.

“When the human body perceives that it is being threatened internally or externally, the brain responds through mechanisms in which hormones and neurotransmitters designed to combat the threat intervene.” Dr. Carlos ‘Fayard Heart At Peace’.

An external threat is, for instance, foreseeing that you might lose your job, believing your spouse is cheating on you, or watching your child destroy his or her future with drugs or vices.

An internal threat is, for example, when you believe you won’t be able to pass an exam, believe you’re ugly, or believe you’ve been ‘condemned’ to live alone for the rest of your life. ibid.

The right response is critical to build family resilience; this takes us to our text for meditation today.

Faith’s Response

Here is a story of a well to do Shunemite woman. I say well to do be cause in contrast to the widow earlier in the chapter who was indebted and had no food and was a sigle mother and probably live in a little old shack- this woman was married, had servants and along with her husband had a wheat farm from which they earned their living. I know that they were well to do because they could afford to build an additional room to accommodate the prophet Elisha and his servant Gehazi. This room was probably much like the room referred to in 2 Samuel 18:33, “the room over the gateway” where David went to mourn for Absalom. It is rendered from the Hebrew word aliyah, which contains within it the meaning of room and stair-way. It was usually built upon the second story of a roof and accessible by a stairway. The room often had a window looking out over the street in front of the house, was well furnished, and kept as a room for the entertainment of honored guests. In the case of Elisha, the Shunammite and her husband built the room specially for his use. James M. Freeman and Harold J. Chadwick, Manners & Customs of the Bible (North Brunswick, NJ: Bridge-Logos Publishers, 1998), 259.

We Know that they were rich but we don’t know their names but the names are not as important as the lessons that we can learn from this couple and two of them are hospitality and kindness. Remember we are still speaking about building resilient families.

The only thing that was missing at the time in that home was a child. Elisha wanted to do something for this couple but there was nothing material that they needed. Gehazi recognized that they didn’t have a child and I believe that this was not by choice. Life can be like that and the church should be sensitive and be careful of the words we speak because we don’t know how couples feel.

According to the servant of the Lord God was mindful of the kindness shown to His servant Elisha so God blessed her home. “Her home had been childless; and now the Lord rewarded her hospitality by the gift of a son.” Ellen Gould White, The Story of Prophets and Kings as Illustrated in the Capitvity and Restoration of Israel, vol. 2, Conflict of the Ages Series (Pacific Press Publishing Association, 1917), 237.

Watch out, when God become mindful of your Hospitality and kindness he just might give you a child in your old age. Don’t laugh because Sarah did and she got pregnant, coincidentally the couple was being hospitable and kind as well.

Well the old man-that’s the shunamites husband did what he could and she God pregnant and the very next they had a son.

They did eveything together; they went to church together to here the prophet preach. Can I tell Church is great place to build family resilience. They went to feast of the New Moon together; they went to feast of passover together; they did the feast of Unleavened bread together; the feast of Pentecost, and first fruits, and harvest, and the feast of weeks together as a family. They did everything together. If we are going to build resilient families we have to start doing things together. do the family business together paint the room together; choose the car together; do the family budget together; watch a movie together; cook sunday dinner together; go to graduation together; have family worship together; take vacations together; study the quaterly together; fast and pray together, we are talking about building family resilience.

Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible (Feasts and Their Functions)

Feasts and Their Functions. A festival places great emphasis on community participation and on the continuity of social or religious tradition, especially where the celebrations are elements of a regular civil or religious calendar. Without community backing, even in a family celebration, no festival can be successful. When there is communal participation, a festival can reinforce the individual and community memory of specific occasions, and can perpetuate that store of recollection over years and generations. Such shared memory has a cohesive effect upon a cooperating community, large or small, and serves to establish the traditions by which the group lives. If the festival commemorates a particular event or celebrates some lofty ideal, that theme becomes more firmly embedded in the minds of the participants by being associated repeatedly with the rites and ceremonies performed. The feasts of the ancient Hebrews had this positive function. The great festivals of their religious calendar commemorated specific occasions when God had reached out in power to intervene for his people or had provided for them in their distress. By celebrating these feasts on a regular basis, the Hebrews were keeping at the forefront of their minds the power and greatness of their covenant God in directing their destiny

The story is not over because a great trial was about to come upon the family. The child was now grown and was out with his father in the feild for wheat harvest and then he had severe headache it was so bad that he was crying and his father instructed one of his servants to take him to his mother. When they Got to mommy she took him in her lap Just as any good mother would do, but the pain would not go away mommy did the best she could but her son died in her arms; she couldn’t believe it. What do you do when there is a death in the family. For those of us who have been through it words cannot express the empty feeling you have inside it seems to grow more and still intense why now, why me, why my son, why my husband, why my father, why God? maybe it’s not as severe as death but your baby girl has become rebellious and disrespectful and have left the church. What do you do in those situations. you don’t know what do, do you. When your back is against the wall and can’t go left or right. When your options are nil when everything is crumbling around you what do you do. When the famiy is being torn apart when a divorce looms do like this Shunamite woman run as fast as you can to mount Carmel as fast as that cart could go she went to the servant of God the prophet of God you see “The responsibility of the Old Testament prophets was not principally to predict the future in the modern sense of the word prophesy, but rather to tell forth the will of God which He had communicated by revelation” Gleason Archer Jr., A Survey of Old Testament Introduction, 3rd. ed. (Chicago: Moody Press, 1994), 329.

Well what was God going to do are you sure you want to ask the preach this question? what was was God going to do? You mean the God who made the heaven and the earth in six days and rested on the seventh. You mean the God who freed that children of Israel from Egyptian bondage sheltered them from the rays of the sun with a pillar of cloud by day comforted them with a pillar of fire by night. What was God going to do? You mean the God that parted the red sea so that his children could go across on dry land and then drowned that Egyptian same red sea. You mean the God that tore down the walls of Jericho? What was God going to do? You mean the God that answer Elijah the prophet by fire on Mount Carmel in front of 400 false propehts? What was God going to do? well since you asked God was going to give a family a powerful reason to be resilient. God was going to display His power his resurrection power to a small family who would be a witness to us today of the power of God to restore family life. We can bounce back we can be restored families that are struggling to survive rest your hope on Christ the Solid rock. No matter how dead you think your family life is, JESUS is the resurrection and the life. When we pray God answers

Love in Action

When we pray God answers. Sorrow and joy, tears and laughter, life and death, are not far apart in the sojourn of mortal man in this world of sin. The son of the Shunammite had brought gladness into the home, but he was also the means of bringing anguish of heart. He had been given to the Shunammite by the Lord, but now death claimed him as it own. Francis D. Nichol, ed., The Seventh-Day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 2 (Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1976), 869.

It shall be well. Literally, “peace.” The answer was one of faith and of hope. The child was dead, but she did not give way to grief or despair. If the man of God could intercede with God to provide the child in the first place, he could also have power with God to restore the child. However difficult a matter may be, when we commit a thing into the hands of God, we may have perfect assurance that it will be well. The answer may not always be exactly what we desire, but we can have peace, and bow humbly and submissively to His will. Francis D. Nichol, ed., The Seventh-Day Adventist Bible Commentary, vol. 2 (Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1976), 869.