Sermon Tone Analysis

*UNDERSTANDING YOUR HUSBAND'S DEEPEST NEEDS*

*The Secrets of a Satisfying Marriage - Part 7 of 12*

*I Corinthians 7:3*

*Kay Warren*

 

 

I Cor.

7:3 (GN)  /"A man should fulfill his duty as a husband and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs."/

/ /

/ /

*THE FIVE DEEPEST NEEDS OF YOUR HUSBAND*

 

Dr.

Willard Harley is a Christian psychologist who directs a network of mental health clinics in Minnesota.

During the past 25 years as a marriage counselor he has interviewed thousands of couples and discovered the 10 most important needs of husbands and wives.

They are discussed in his highly recommended book, /His Needs~/Her Needs/, (Revell, 1986).

*1.

My Husband Needs My Affection*

 

/       "The wife has no longer all rights over her body but shares them with her husband.

In the same way, the husband's body doesn't belong to him alone but also to his wife.

Do not cheat each other of normal sexual intercourse, unless you both decide to abstain temporarily to make special time for prayer.

But afterwards you should resume relations as before, or you will expose yourselves to the obvious temptations of Satan."/  1 Cor.

7:4-5 (Ph~/GN)

 

God's command to your husband:

/ /

/       "Be faithful and true to your wife . . .

Let your manhood be a blessing: rejoice in your wife . . .

Let her charms and breasts satisfy you.

Let your love fill you with delight!"/ Pr. 5:15, 18-19 (LB)

 

       (NIV) /". . .

may you be captivated by your wife's love."/

*2.

My Husband Needs My ______________________________*

 

/       "Live happily with the woman you love through the fleeting days of life, for the wife God gives you is your best reward down here for all your earthly toil."/

Eccl.

9:9 (LB)

 

/       "Enjoy life with your wife. .

."/ (NIV)

 

/       "Wives, adapt yourselves to your husbands; that is your Christian duty."/

Col.

3:18 (Ph)

 

 

 

 

 

* *

*3.

My Husband Needs ______________________________*

 

/       "Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart."/  1 Sam.

16:7

 

FACT:  Your husband is not God!

 

Men are visual-oriented:  Read Songs of Solomon (4:1-5, 6:4‑10, 7:1-9)

 

 

*4.

My Husband Needs ______________________________*

 

/       "Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife."/

Pr.

17:1

 

/       "(Women are) . . . to love their husbands and their children, to be sober minded, to keep themselves pure, to manage your households well, to be gentle, submitting themselves to their husbands -- all this to insure that God's message should not fall into disrepute."/

Titus 2:4-5 (Cas)

 

 

Dividing the Labor Equally

 

       1.

Complete a ______________________________

 

 

       2.

Indicate your preference ______________________________

 

 

       3.

Compromise on a fair ______________________________

 

 

 

Example:  Prov.

31:10-31

 

 

*5.

My Husband Needs My ______________________________*

 

/       ". . .

Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband -- that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly."/

Eph.

5:33 (Amplified)

 

 

 

*"HOMES ARE MADE BY THE WISDOM OF WOMEN"  Prov.

14:1 (GN) *

\\ *UNDERSTANDING YOUR HUSBAND'S DEEPEST NEEDS*

*The Secrets of a Satisfying Marriage - Part 7 of 12*

*I Corinthians 7:3*

*Kay Warren*

 

Prayer:

 

       Father, I thank You for creating us, women.

I thank You for the very special role and abilities that You have given us as women.

We join together as one tonight, asking You to show us Your truth.

I pray that each woman here will be able to sift through the things that I share and glean for herself truth that she can apply in her own life.

Father, I pray that hearts will be open.

You, above all people, know the condition of our hearts.

You know the places where we're already defensive and not willing to listen or to hear.

Some are here grudgingly, some are here out of desperation.

Each one comes with a different need.

Thank You that You will meet us tonight at that point of need and show us exactly what we need to do to be the women and the wives that you intended us to be.

We ask Your blessing on this time.

Give us ears to here.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

Fifteen years ago this year this June, I stood holding hands in a church in Norwalk, California with a tall, skinny, long haired, hippish looking young man named Rick Warren.

At that time I vowed to love, honor and obey him until death do us part.

Many of you made that very same vow at some point in your life.

I had no idea what that involved.

I had read all kinds of books on marriage.

I was determined to be a good wife.

I was a perfectionist and I was going to be the perfect wife.

I knew I would be the one who set the trail for everyone else, so I read every book I could find on marriage.

I talked to people about what it meant to be married and be a good wife.

I read the Scriptures.

I prayed.

I did everything I knew how to do.

But I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

It quickly became clear on our honeymoon that Rick and I had totally different ideas of what marriage was all about.

I had my expectations.

A romantic interlude.

Rick, on the other hand, thought that marriage involved having a daily quiet time together and making love every day.

That was marriage in a nutshell for him.

In my immaturity and his immaturity we thought we knew what marriage was all about.

As I said, on the honeymoon, it didn't take us long to figure out we had conflicting needs and expectations of marriage.

By the time we got back from our honeymoon people would ask "How was your honeymoon?"

What were we supposed to say?  "It was awful!

I saved myself for this?"

Most people don't like to hear that kind of response.

Thus began two and a half years of very quiet, but very desperate, agony for both of us.

We had no idea how to get along.

We were as incompatible as any two people could be.

What had started out as dreams of a wonderful marriage and one that would hit the record books for being fantastic ended in shear torture in a very short period of time.