God's Marriage Plan

Do you recognize this serious illness? Last year I had a really bad case of neucaritus. Have you gotten this bug? It’s not particularly dangerous to your health. There are no physical symptoms. The doctor can’t prescribe anything for it.

It starts when you begin thinking you need a new car. Maybe your current car is getting older. A little rust around the edges. A few dents and dings. The motor isn’t as peppy as it once was. Or maybe a new model just caught your eye and you are no longer happy with your current car. You think how you really deserve a new car. You would be so much happier with a new car. Everyone else would be better off too.

The antidote or cure is being thankful for the car you already have and renewing your commitment to keep it going strong. I hope you can make the short jump to today’s message about God’s Marriage Plan.

So, this morning in the Gospel of Mark, we come across Jesus addressing the question “When is OK for a man to divorce his wife?” His answer was surprising for the immediate audience. Divorce is not an easy topic to talk about today or in Jesus’ day. Broken marriages and broken promises are painful. Families are split apart. Friends may be lost or relationships become awkward. If you have been divorced or affected by divorce I am sorry for your suffering and I am not here to make you feel worse or guilty about the past.

As always, my goal each Sunday is expository preaching where I start with God’s Word, explain what it says, what it means, and then present applications for our lives today. When we encounter God’s Word, our response should be understanding a biblical worldview, sometimes repentance and always obedience to God.

Series

As we continue our series: The Crown & The Cross sermon, Mark’s Gospel shows Jesus as a man with a clear message and mission, and the reader is called to actively response to the message. Jesus’ responses always helped his listeners better understand God’s heart and his statements are typically clear commands for us to follow.

In the first half of Mark the emphasis was on Jesus as Messiah the King who deserved the crown. Now in the second half the focus is on Jesus preparing for His life’s mission to suffer and die on the cross - and to rise from the dead. He is preparing his disciples for what lay ahead. Jesus is also speaking to us today about what it takes to be a true follower.

Two weeks ago, in Mark 9, Jesus taught about the right attitudes and the need for personal purity in ministry. Today, as we begin chapter 10, Jesus is confronted by the pharisees, pious religious leaders, who were looking to trap or discredit Jesus.

Our parallel passages are in Matthew 19 and Luke 18. You can turn to Mark 10 but let’s pray first.

PRAY

READ Mark 10:1-12

Pharisees' Test (v. 2)

Jesus and the disciples moved on to Judea out past the Jordan River where as usual he was teaching the crowds who gathered to hear him. What is significant is that this is the area where John the Baptist preached and baptized. It’s possible that influenced the pharisees in their question about divorce. Back in chapter 6, we saw John beheaded for telling Herodias that she should not have divorced her husband to marry Herod. Maybe the pharisees hoped to see Jesus face the same wrongful punishment.

Mark tells us that the pharisees were not asking Jesus questions because they wanted to learn more to hear his point of view. they wanted to test him - to get him into trouble, to discredit him, to show that he didn’t follow their traditions or even the teachings of the accepted rabbis.

The question was “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Matthew recorded the question as “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?

There were two Jewish schools of thought on divorce at the time. The school of rabbi Shammai said a man may only divorce his wife if he found unchastity in her. An example would be the bride was not a virgin or she had a sexual relationship with someone other than her husband after being married. Another rabbi Hillel said he may divorce his wife if she spoiled a dish for him or even if she was no longer favorable to him - in other words - he could divorce her for any reason. The assumption with both was for the man to be free to marry another woman. Neither gave any permission for a woman to divorce her husband on similar grounds. The Jews and Jewish law were agreed that divorce was permissible by the man.

Jesus' Response (vv. 3-9)

In typical Jesus fashion, he answers the question with a question. Jesus asks what did Moses command. In other words, what does God’s law say about divorce? Jesus gives us an example of analogia Scriptura which means Scripture rightly interprets Scripture. It really doesn’t matter what the rabbis are saying, let’s see what God said.

The pharisees answered, “Moses allowed a man to write his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away.” They got this from Deuteronomy 24.

But instead of the Deuteronomy passage about divorce the pharisees mentioned, Jesus goes back to the very beginning and reminds them of God’s original Marriage Plan in Genesis 2. Dorothy read that for us earlier.

God established marriage at the very beginning of time. He created male and female. According to God there are no in-betweens in our sexuality - there are no other biblical options or personal choices about who or what we are. No joining of two men or two women. His design is for a man and woman to leave behind their families and hold fast to their spouse. To become one new family - one in physical union or flesh. So because God is the one who designed marriage and joins people together, man should not separate them.

In Ephesians 5:32, the Apostle Paul calls this union a profound mystery that was revealed as a beautiful symbol of Christ and the Church. Just as the husband unconditionally and sacrificially loves his wife for his whole life so Jesus Christ, the Son of God, sacrificially gave his life to His bride, the Church, to love her forever and to be the head of the church. And as the wife is called to willingly respect and submit to her husband’s role as the head of the family as believers, the church is called to honor Jesus as our Lord and the true head of the church, willing to submit our personal will and desires to follow and obey Him.

This is God’s design, not man’s. Jesus points out the intimacy and permanence of the marriage relationship. The marriage vows were not meant to be broken. What God has joined together, let not man separate.

Jesus’ answer also told them that Moses law regarding divorce was because of the hardness or sinfulness of their hearts. The certificate of divorce protected the woman from being outcast and left alone and destitute with no future. God was not approving of divorce or encouraging it. Instead he was restraining it and making it more difficult for men to easily dismiss their wives for any reason and move on to someone new.

Disciples' Questions (v. 10)

v. 10 tells us that in the house, when it is just the Jesus and his disciples, the had some more questions about this matter of divorce. Again in our parallel passage in Matthew 19 tells us one of the questions they asked. Mark just gives us Jesus’ response, so we can assume they asked “what about remarriage after divorce?”

Matthew 19:10 ESV

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”

In Matthew the disciples were asking is it better then, to never get married?

Jesus' Response (vv. 11-12)

In Mark v. 11 Jesus answers if you divorce your wife and remarry you commit adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.

In Jewish law and the pharisees interpretations, only a man could initiate a divorce. The wife had no rights at all. But the Roman law allowed for women to divorce their husbands and that was now the law of the land.

Jesus not only mentions the woman’s right to divorce but he makes it clear that the two sexes, male and female are equal in marriage and equal before God.

Jesus’ response is basically saying, you can divorce your husband or wife, but if you get married again, you are knowingly and willingly committing adultery.

In our parallel passage of Matthew 19, Jesus adds a disclaimer that Mark did not mention. In verse 9, Jesus said, if the divorce was on the grounds of sexual immorality, then remarriage of the divorced spouse is not adultery. How many remember our Hosea sermon series called Relentless Love? Through Hosea taking back his unfaithful wife Homer again and again, God illustrated his grace, forgiveness, and everlasting love. Just as God is patient with us, not wanting any to perish, I believe reconciliation in marriage should be the goal before divorce.

I also believe some cases of unrepentant physical abuse are grounds for divorce. When physical safety is an issue for the spouse or children, there should be an immediate separation. But God’s clear message for people seeking to honor and obey Him are to work on your marriage and avoid divorce.

Children's Example (vv. 13-16)

Shifting gears to a less painful topic, in Mark 10:13-16, Jesus makes an example of children again.

READ Mark 10:13-16

People were bringing children to Jesus so that he would touch them. If you remember, on several instances, a person who touched Jesus or even his robe as he passed by was healed. this may be the result of parents wanting their children to be healed or blessed by Jesus’ touch.

The disciples were rebuking or chasing the parents and children away and Jesus did not like that.

v. 14 says He was indignant. That means he was deeply moved to strong disappointment by their actions. Jesus was angry and said let the children come to me.

If you recall a few weeks back, Jesus picked up one of Peter’s children and used him or her as an example, telling the disciples they should openly receive new believers as they would care for a new child. In this situation, Jesus says coming to God and receiving his kingdom like a child is the only way in - the only way to salvation and eternal life.

Commentator James Edward said “A little child has absolutely nothing to bring, and whatever a child receives, he or she receives by grace on the basis of sheer neediness rather than by any merit inherent in him- or herself. Little children are paradigmatic disciples, for only empty hands can be filled.

Jesus was saying, the only way to come to God is humbly and recognizing your need for Him, not your own self-value or personal goodness.

And then Jesus picked up the children and blessed them. He made an example to all who watched that he loved and cared for them. They had nothing to offer Him, but he took time to spend with each one and offered his blessing.

A Gallup survey revealed that 19 out of 20 believers came to Christ before the age of twenty-five. That’s 95% for you math whizzes. Parents, grandparents, church family we should share the Gospel clearly with our children and call them to put their trust in Jesus Christ as Savior. Their reality of pure humble faith is an example for us all.

Take Aways

I did not cover all of the passages related to marriage and divorce in the Bible. I focused on the text in Mark and the parallel passage in Matthew. There are more Scripture passages (like 1 Corinthians 7) teaching about marriage to an unbeliever and related topics like divorce, forgiveness, reconciliation and more. If you or someone else has been hurt or affected by divorce please show grace and love at all times. Outsiders usually don’t have all the clear facts or information, so don’t be quick to judge or condemn. This is not in any way the unforgivable sin, although some churches act that way.

Have you come to God as a child? Recognizing that you are helpless, unable to save yourself, and totally dependent on the mercy and grace of God? God calls us to repent of our sin, accept Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection as payment for our sin, and choose Jesus as Lord of your life. That begins a relationship with God that is secure forever.

If you are already a child of God, when you are hurting or need help and direction, go to God your heavenly Father who listens and cares for His children and will never leave them alone.

If you are currently married, will you recommit to your wedding vows to love, cherish, and care for your spouse as long as you live? Will you do something with me? Hold your spouse’s hands and say “I do forever and ever.”

If you are struggling in your marriage, come get help. We offer free biblical counseling to our church and community. Don’t try to go it alone, no matter how far gone you think you may be.

If you have been divorced, consider the opportunities you have to serve God as a single person.

If you are planning to get married soon or sometime in the future. Before you take that step, recognize that God’s Marriage Plan is forever. Even though our culture has made it relatively easy to end your marriage, commit to a lifetime together if God calls you to be married. You have the opportunity to demonstrate the mystery of Jesus amazing eternal love for his bride and our response in obedience to Him.

Benediction

May the God of endurance and encouragement through the Holy Spirit, grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, His Son. It is in His name I pray. Amen.

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