Dealing With Defeat

TEXT: James 3:2

INTRODUCTION: I want to talk to you about Dealing With Defeat. Sooner or later everyone in this building will fail at something. Failure is a universal experience. In fact the word of God says in James 3:2 2 We  all stumble in many ways. The New Century Version says, “2 We all make many mistakes. The New King James Version says, “2For we all stumble in many things. The New Revised Standard Version says, 2 For all of us make many mistakes.” This does not give us the right to haphazardly live our lives as though nothing mattered. This does not mean that we throw caution unto the wind and live just any way that we please. James is just simply pointing out a fact of life and that fact is that everyone at one time or another will fail at something. There are some who have had more failures than successes. God does have a set standard that we are to live by. We are not free to throw caution to the wind and live our lives anyway we want to. James is pointing out to us that making mistakes, stumbling, and failing is a part of life and we should expect. Those who are devastated the most by their failures are those who think and believe that you can live life without ever making a single mistake.

    We all have setbacks, failures, defeats, and losses in life.  Nobody is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. Our failures and defeats in life can have a devastating effect on our lives if not properly dealt with or handled with the right attitude and frame of mind. In fact the setbacks and defeats that we face in life can make us feel like Job felt. Job 17:11 My days are past; my purposes are broken off, even the thoughts of my heart. What is Job saying? Job is saying, “ It’s over, my hope has disappeared, my hearts desires have been destroyed and my dreams have been shattered. There’s nothing left for me.” Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt that because of a failure or defeat in life that it was all over? Have you ever felt like your hope for the future had vanished? Have you ever felt like your desires and dreams were shattered? If you have ever felt like your dreams have been shattered and your hope for the future was gone that means that you are a part of the human race. When we feel this way we feel defeated in life but it doesn’t have to end that way. You can conquer those feelings of defeat and failure and move on to a brighter future if you will just learn from how to Deal With Defeat.

John Maxwell said, “The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.” Another writer said, “There is no doubt in my mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is only one way to be a looser and that is to fail and not look beyond the failure.  In other words people that achieve success and win at life are those that have a proper perception of and response to failure. They learn from their experience and look beyond the failure to the future and as a result become a better person.

    Failure is a training process that we go through on our way to success.  In other words you and I are not going to succeed without some amount of failure along the way. The good news is that our failure does not have to be fatal or final.

    The problem with us is that we have a fear of failure. Fear of failure will do three things to us.

    It will stop us from trying. The questions that will haunt us is. What if I can’t do it?  Someone has rightly said, “I would rather try and fail than not have tried at all.

    It can cause us to be indecisive. We will never be able to make up our mind. The question that will plague our minds will be. What if I make the wrong choice?

    It can cause us to have a perfectionist attitude. What if I can’t please everyone? That’s perhaps the biggest problem we have. We want to please everybody when we no we can’t. Our goal is not to please everybody but please God by doing what is right.

    Failing at accomplishing something does not make one a failure. What makes a person a failure is their refusal to get up and get back in the game.

    You need to remember that "your failures are not final and  just because you fail at something does not make you a failure " !!!

    We also need to remember that God is not surprised by our failures. Jesus knew about and foretold of Peter’s denial and failure in Matthew 26:33-34 33Peter answered and said unto him, Though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended.  34Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.

    No, our failures do not take God by surprise. So with that let’s look at How To Deal With Defeat.  There are three question that we to answer in order to Properly Deal with Defeat.

·        What Are The Causes of Defeat:

·        Why Does Defeat Have Such A Devastating Affect On Us:

·        How Should We Respond To Defeat:

I.           What Are The Causes of Defeat

A          Defeat Comes When We Fail To Plan.

1.      It's like the old saying say’s, "If you fail to plan you're planning to fail."

2.      In order to succeed or accomplish anything we must have a plan. When we don’t have a plan to follow we have no idea where we are going or how we are going to get there. The plan is simply help us understand where we are and where we are going and how we are going to get there.

Proverbs 27:12 12A prudent man foresees the evil, and hides himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished.

B          Defeat Comes When We Think That We Have Arrived.

1.      A person that thinks that they have arrived can see no room in their lives for improvement. They are perfect in their own eyes. They feel and believe that no matter what comes against them they can’t be conquered.

2.      This kind of person is self-sufficient and self-reliant.

1 Corinthians 10:12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.

3.      This is a warning to the individuals who think they can stand on there on without the support of others.  . 

C          We Are Defeated When We Fail To Take Risk.

D          We Are Defeated Because We Give Up To Soon.

1.      Many people want to live a life that is easy. They want to live a life that doesn’t have any problems.

2.      They will not set a goal that requires a lot of energy and effort from them. Therefore they never accomplish anything of any value. For most people their goal is to just get out of bed in the morning and make through the day just go back to bed at night. Nothing accomplished in between. Fact is their greatest accomplishment of the day is just getting out of bed. (A man was getting his yearly physical. The doctor asked him if he exercised daily. The man said, I sure do doc, I do sit ups. The doctor asked how many do you do a day. The man replied one, I get up in the morning and I lay down at night.) When we start something that requires more work, more energy, more time or more money than we anticipated we give up before we accomplished what we set out to do. Great accomplishments come at the expense of great sacrifices.

E          Defeat Comes When We Fail to Listen To God

F           Defeat Comes When We Have A Negative Attitude Toward Life.

1.      All some people can see is the doom and gloom of life.

2.      Nothing ever goes right.

3.      Everybody is against me.

4.      The one that we often deal with is, that want work, we can’t do that and we tried that before and it didn’t work.

G         Defeat Comes When We Refuse To Change.

II.         Why Does Defeat Have Such A Devastating Affect On Us:

A          It Reveals Our Weakness and imperfection:

B          Many people have a misconception about their own strength and shortcomings.

C          We Have The Wrong Definition for Failure and Defeat.

D          We View Failure and Defeat as an Enemy. 

1.      We have been trained that failure is unacceptable.

2.      It is said that failure is the enemy to success.

3.      However we need to view failure and defeat as a friend and not an enemy.

4.      We can learn from our failures and moved forward to success and a bright future.

5.      If you have ever failed at anything there are two questions you should have asked yourself. What led to my failure and defeat? What can I learn from it so I can avoid repeating it?

6.      You can turn your adversity to your advantage if you approach it with the proper attitude and right frame of mind.

7.      For every negative experience we have there is a load of benefits to be had from it.

III.       How Should We Respond To Defeat:

A          Accept Responsibility For Your Defeat

B          STOP REGRETTING AND START REPENTING.

1.      Don’t allow your past to hold you hostage. Break free from it by letting go of it. Many people are held hostage by their past. You will know them because they are the ones that keep saying; If I had done this or If I had done that. If I had just done things different I wouldn’t be in this mess. These people are living in bondage to their past. The word repent means: To have a change of mind; To have a change of directions. In other words do something about your defeat.

C          Focus On The Future.

D          Trust God For The Future. 

Conclusion: We don’t have to live in defeat nor do we have to allow defeat to devastate us. We can move from defeat to victory simply by recognizing what causes defeat and by knowing the affect it has on our lives. Then responding to it in a positive way. Let me close with one last story about a little boy and his little league team. They were playing ball one afternoon when this gentleman walked up to the little boy and asked what the score was. The little boy replied that the score was 23-0 and that his team was loosing. The man said, It must be discouraging to be loosing that bad. The little boy said no sir not at all. The man asked why not?  The little boy said we haven’t had our bat yet. That little boy knew something that we all need to know and that was the game is not over yet and we still have a chance to win.