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The Ten Commandments 07 - Stay Sexually Pure

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Reading: 1Cor 6:12-20: 13:4-7 / HC Q&A 108-109

You shall not commit adultery Exodus 20:14 (NIV)

I.    God Created our sexuality

      A.  God made us Male and Female

            1.   How do we know someone’s gender?

                   a.   The 1st question: is it a boy or a girl?

                   b.   Almost as if we are an “it” until we are a “he” or a “she.”

                   c.   Our identity is closely tied to our gender

            2.   We are in God’s image as male and female

                   a.   So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (1:6)

                   b.   Femaleness is not derived from maleness (Gen 2) but from God’s image.

                   c.   Maleness and femaleness are good.

            3.   As soon as sin shows up, we need clothing

                   a.   They cover themselves immediately 3:7

                   b.   They saw they were vulnerable to being sinned against.

                   c.   God gives them better clothes when he banishes them from the garden (3:21)

      B.  God made us to Need each other

            1.   It is not good for us to be alone

                   a.   The only thing created before sin that wasn’t good, was that Adam was alone

                   b.   The creation was incomplete

                   c.   So was Adam. We aren’t meant to be alone (but some are called to be single)

            2.   God makes us suitable for each other

                   a.   “Helper” is the word used when we say of God “He is my help and my strength”

                   b.   Suitable means just right

                   c.   Our differences are complementary

      C.  God made sex for Marriage

            1.   Two become one

                   a.   This union is physical

                   b.   It’s also a deep, personal, “self” union

                   c.   It’s not called “intimacy” for nothing

            2.   Broken unity hurts

                   a.   A part of us is torn away and lost when a relationship breaks up

                   b.   More so when there is sex involved

                   c.   Sometimes hurt, sometimes harm.

            3.   Since sin, we need the boundaries of marriage to be ourselves sexually.

                   a.   We need clothing since sin.

                   b.   We need to wrap our sexuality in marriage as a similar protection

                   c.   But monogamy was God’s design even before sin entered the picture

II.   Practice Self-Control

      A.  We learn Abstinence first

            1.   Our bodies develop faster than we do.

                   a.   We enter our reproductive years young

                   b.   We’re not ready a life commitment yet

                   c.   A fire in the house is OK in the fireplace

            2.   Our 1st lesson: learn to say “no” to desire

                   a.   By design our 1st lesson is self-control

                   b.   Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit

                   c.   We have to learn to control ourselves

            3.   If we can’t “No” we can’t freely say “Yes.”

                   a.   This is true about all areas of life

                   b.   Jesus comes to set us free.

                   c.   We might not control impulses but we can say “no” to them when they arise.

      B.  The Body is meant for the Lord

            1.   An old error: what we do with our body doesn’t matter, only our soul is important.

                   a.   In Corinth some folks thought this.

                   b.   Today: It’s just sex, what’s the big deal?

            2.   Our body, including the sexual part of it, is to be devoted to God (v13b)

                   a.   Love God with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength

                   b.   God promises save us body and soul.

            3.   We are to consider our bodies as temples

                   a.   God lives in us–in our bodies too!

                   b.   Since God lives in us, we have to treat ourselves with respect and dignity.

      C.  Don’t be a slave to Desire

            1.   Lust is also adultery

                   a.   Jesus said: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already com-mitted adultery with her in his heart. (Matt 5:28)

                   b.   Lust isn’t merely to see as attractive

                   c.   Lust= to desire to have for yourself

            2.   Sexual sin is a hearts thing.

                   a.   There is a physical part of sexual desire

                   b.   But our heart decides how to respond

                   c.   Our hearts need changing!

            3.   Don’t be mastered by anything (v.12)

                   a.   There is such thing as sexual addiction

                   b.   It’s looking for love in the wrong places

III.  Find True love

      A.  Love is Patient

            1.   Our desires, our bodies aren’t patient.

                   a.   The part of us that doesn’t want to do the work of commitment is impatient

                   b.   To ignores boundaries is impatience

            2.   True love not only can wait, it does.

                   a.   Love is patient for the sake of the other

                   b.   Care and respect require it

                   c.   The part that doesn’t want to isn’t love

            3.   Sex outside of marriage always yields harmful results.

                   a.   These rules are hear for our own good!

                   b.   Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce.

                   c.   Love yourself by being patient.

      B.  Love is not Self-seeking

            1.   Adultery is about getting, not loving.

                   a.   Adultery is taking what doesn’t belong to you–it’s a kind of stealing.

                   b.   Even consensual? Yes! It’s taking intimacy without paying the price of commitment.

            2.   Love always protects

                   a.   Marriage is a kind protection

                   b.   Those who are sexually active without it get hurt in many ways.

                   c.   Love protects the one you love with commitment.

            3.   Give the gift of pre-marital faithfulness

                   a.   Be faithful to the person you will marry, even if you’ve never met.

                   b.   Give yourself the gift of post-marital faithfulness, if you’re widowed or divorced

      C.  Love Rejoices with the Truth

            1.   There is no “I don’t care what’s right and wrong” in the love God gives us.

                   a.   Love isn’t blind to the Truth.

                   b.   Love isn’t blind to what’s right & wrong

            2.   Love gladly accepts the truth of sexual fidelity as the path to fulfillment.

                   a.   Abstinence isn’t always be easy!

                   b.   But it’s always good–for us and others!

            3.   Love rejoices with the truth that within the bounds of marriage sex is good!

                   a.   In the context of loving commitment, sex is good.

                   b.   God intends for us to enjoy this part of married life in it’s varied dimensions

The Bottom Line:

Offer your Bodies as living sacrifices, Holy and Pleasing to God. 

Romans 12:1 (NIV)

Hymn: R#21 Love Divine, All loves Excelling v.1


Heidelberg Catechism

Q&A 108

What is God’s will for us in the seventh commandment?

God condemns all unchastity.1 We should therefore thoroughly detest it2 and, married or single, live decent and chaste lives.3

1 Lev. 18:30; Eph. 5:3-5

2 Jude 22-23

3 1Cor. 7:1-9; 1Thess. 4:3-8; Heb. 13:4

Q&A 109

Does God, in this commandment, forbid only such scandalous sins as adultery?

We are temples of the Holy Spirit, body and soul,and God wants both to be kept clean and holy.

That is why he forbids everything which incites unchastity,1 whether it be actions, looks, talk, thoughts, or desires.2

1 1Cor. 15:33; Eph. 5:18

2 Matt. 5:27-29; 1Cor. 6:18-20; Eph. 5:3-4


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