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The Ten Commandments 05b - Honor Your Father

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Reading: Ephesians 6:1-3 / HC Q&A 104, p. 52

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 5:16 (NIV)

I.   God says “Honor your father”

     A.  God Commands it

           1.  In a day when male-bashing is acceptable.

                 a.  These days men are typically portrayed as immature and brutish

                 b.  Dads are shown as emotionally distant

           2.  Honoring parents is foundational to respecting social authorities.

                 a.  Kids learn to respect authority by learning to submit to their parents 1st.

                 b.  The most consistent factor for kids not turning to violence is a dad at home

           3.  God tells us to do it.

                 a.  This isn’t conditional

                 b.  This isn’t optional

                 c.  Honor ≠ like, agree with, find appealing

     B.  We owe him a debt of Gratitude

           1.  He gave us life

                 a.  Dad’s don’t get physically pregnant, but!

                 b.  Biological and adoptive Dad’s provide, protect and teach.

           2.  He gave of himself differently than Mom

                 a.  He may not be emotionally supportive

                 b.  Dad’s give by modeling and including.

           3.  He help us find strength to live in this world

                 a.  Dad’s are more comfortable with limited risk in their children’s life.

                 b.  Dad’s encourage us find our own way

                 c.  Dad’s usually focus on helping us live effectively in the world outside of home

     C.  Honor him out of respect for God

           1.  God gave Him to us as our father

                 a.  You didn’t choose him, nor he you.

                 b.  You have your dad because God had/has a purpose for you through him

                 c.  Respect God’s choice (even if it’s hard!)

           2.  God calls Himself “Father” to us.

                 a.  Of all the human relationships . . .

                 b.  Jesus tells us to pray to “Our Father. . .”

                 c.  Fatherhood is inherently a good thing.

II.  Honor him by Listening to him

     A.  An expression of living in the Spirit

           1.  From Eph.5:18-20

                 a.  Speaking, singing, thanking, submitting

                 b.  Submit: Wives & Husbands (5:22-33)

                 c.  Submit: Children & Servants (6:1-9)

           2.  Spirit filled children apply their faith in the context of their family too!

                 a.  Not just in relation to God and peers!

                 b.  Not just at school and work

                 c.  Also and especially at home

           3.  Being Spirit filled means honoring our Dad

                 a.  If you can’t be spiritual in the most basic of human relationships . . .

                 b.  Not so much a duty, as a discipline

                 c.  What do you admire about him?

     B.  Honor requires Obedience in children

           1.  We obey authority we recognize & respect

                 a.  Only someone authorized can pull us over.

                 b.  If we don’t recognize their authority we don’t pull over

                 c.  Do you recognize your dad’s authority?

           2.  We don’t honor an authority we don’t obey

                 a.  We dishonor them or their position.

                 b.  We say they have no right to tell us what to do

                 c.  We put ourselves above them.

           3.  Spirit filled kids obey their dad.

                 a.  They understand that dad’s authority comes from God.

                 b.  They recognize and respect it/him

     C.  Obey him in the Lord

           1.  Being in the Lord we obey

                 a.  Since we are in the Lord we obey

                 b.  We know what God expects of us in relation to our parents.

           2.  We obey our Dad who is in the Lord

                 a.  A Christian dad is worth double respect

                 b.  He acknowledges where his authority comes from.

           3.  We heed their instruction in as far as it doesn’t go against God’s instruction.

                 a.  Don’t do what he says, if it’s wrong

                 b.  Don’t follow his example, if it’s wrong

                 c.  If it isn’t wrong, do it.

III. Honor him Publicly

     A.  Honor him in how you Speak of him

           1.  How do you talk to others about him?

                 a.  If he overheard you, would he be sad?

                 b.  If he overheard you, would he be glad?

           2.  Use respectful language when you do.

                 a.  Not My old man, the slave driver, etc.

                 b.  Honor him with honorable descriptions

           3.  Don’t play “You think you’re dad’s bad.”

                 a.  “My dad’s so strict, we can’t sneeze. . .”

                 b.  Nobody’s perfect, you can find fault

                 c.  He’s your dad: honor him.

     B.  Guard his Dignity

           1.  Don’t let him be belittled in your presence

                 a.  Don’t let others put him down.

                 b.  Let everyone know you love and admire him.

           2.  Guard his dignity when he’s older.

                 a.  When he can’t provide for himself . . .

                 b.  When he can’t guard his own dignity

     C.  Live the godly Values he taught you

           1.  Even imperfect dads teach good things

                 a.  What have you learned from yours?

                 b.  Even dads that are hard to like, give us lessons we are glad to learn.

           2.  Honor him by adopting those godly values as your own.

                 a.  Obeying rules gives way to adopting values as we get older.

                 b.  Even imperfect rules, have good values behind them.

                 c.  Honor your dad by adopting those godly values he showed you as your values.

           3.  This is the key to unlock the promise of living a good, long life (6:3).

                 a.  A good life is founded on good values

                 b.  A long life is a fruit of godly living.

           4.  Honor your dad today.

The Bottom Line:

Honor your Father in Thought, Word and Deed, today and Everyday.

Hymn: R#538 A Christian Home v.2


Heidelberg Catechsim

Q&A 104

What is God’s will for you in the fifth commandment?

That I honor, love, and be loyal to my father and mother and all those in authority over me; that I obey and submit to them, as is proper, when they correct and punish me; 1 and also that I be patient with their failings–2 for through them God chooses to rule us. 3

1 Ex. 21:17; Prov. 1:8; 4:1; Rom. 13:1-2; Eph. 5:21-22; 6:1-9; Col. 3:18-4:1

2 Prov. 20:20; 23:22; 1Pet. 2:18

3 Matt. 22:21; Rom. 13:1-8; Eph. 6:1-9; Col. 3:18-21


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