Faithlife Sermons

Good News, Bad News

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Good news, Bad News

(for Pastors)



Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.


Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed 31-30.


Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.


Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.


Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."


Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.


Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.


Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.


Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.


Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.

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