A Word on Womanhood
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ME: Intro
ME: Intro
Think of your ideal role model for a moment.
You have that role model in mind?
What is it about that person that makes them a role model to you?
Is it their virtue?
Their wisdom?
Their strength?
Perhaps their work ethic,
Or their character?
Generally, these are the factors that form our role models.
In Proverbs 31, we are introduced to a role model.
She is described by commentators as the ideal woman,
A woman of valor,
A symbol of wisdom,
The wife and mother of excellence.
And she is presented in the most skillfully poetic way that we as English speakers totally miss out on.
Proverbs 31:10-31 is an acrostic poem in Hebrew,
Instructing us with a Word on Womanhood,
By extolling the virtues of a woman who exemplifies wisdom,
Both practically and spiritually.
This means each verse starts with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet.
Slide
It would be like a poem in English saying:
An awesome wife, who can find her?
Blessed women can be trusted by their husbands.
Caring women do good all their life.
Diligent workers are skilled with their hands,
And so on.
Therefore, the order of the verses are not organized logically,
But alphabetically to help memorize this coherent and artful description of a wise woman.
We could say it is the Hebrew ABCs of biblical womanhood.
A woman who, through her trust in the Lord,
Distinguishes herself as a role model.
The first 9 chapters of Proverbs described the virtues of wisdom symbolically as a woman,
Our passage this morning celebrates Lady Wisdom as a real flesh and blood woman.
This woman is a Jesus woman.
And the standard she sets reflects the standard of Jesus, perfect wisdom.
But this standard is not ultimately within our reach.
When we try to be perfect in our own strength,
The only result is frustration and discouragement.
However, when we confess our imperfect nature,
And depend on the perfect wisdom of Christ,
Like the woman of Proverbs 31,
We grow in the direction and likeness of this standard of perfect wisdom.
This means, the reach of this woman’s example is not limited to marriage or motherhood.
This passage gives a Word on Womanhood,
But all of us can learn from the example of this wise woman.
This is not an exhaustive description of biblical womanhood,
But it is a comprehensive characterization of biblical womanhood.
Slide
So, our outline for this Word on Womanhood is...
Biblical Wife and Mother (Proverbs 31:10-12, 23, 28)
Biblical Worker (Proverbs 31:13-19)
Biblical Character (Proverbs 31:20-22, 24-27, 29-31)
This biblical woman is an example of practical wisdom, but her greatest example is her relationship with Christ.
WE: Biblical Wife and Mother (vs. 10-12, 23, 28)
WE: Biblical Wife and Mother (vs. 10-12, 23, 28)
Slide
So, let us first consider the example of being a biblical wife and mother in vs. 10-12, 23, and 28.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
This poem opens by asking who can find an excellent wife?
This is not suggesting that a biblical wife is an impossible dream,
Rather it affirms that she does exist, but she is like a rare, hidden treasure.
When a biblical woman is married she is an excellent wife.
This idea of being an excellent wife implies a sense of virtue or noble character.
Other translations describe her as competent, strong, and wealthy;
Traits that are displayed by her example throughout this chapter.
So, when a man marries a precious woman like this,
Proverbs says he is blessed.
Because she is a treasure worth for more than jewels.
Speaking of a man who marries a biblical woman, vs. 11 says his heart,
That is, who he is at his core,
Safely trusts in her.
He has no doubts, no concerns.
He is fully confident in her.
It is interesting,
This is the only place in the Bible where trusting anything but God is described as good.
So, in this case,
It says if you are married to a biblical wife,
You can trust her because she is godly,
And you have no lack of gain,
Because the families state of affairs reflects the shrewdness of a biblical wife.
As we will see throughout this passage,
A biblical woman knows what her family needs and sees that they have it,
Vs. 12 continues this idea,
Saying she does her husband good.
So, a biblical wife rewards her husband’s trust in her with good.
Slide
Earlier, Proverbs 18:22 stated:
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
The assumption here in ch. 18 is that she is like the wise wife described in ch. 31.
Now, I do want to make a note here,
Marriage is certainly a good thing from God.
It is a full-person commitment to another person for life.
From as early as the second chapter of the Bible,
Where marriage was instituted by God,
All the way to the final chapter of the Bible,
Where we are married to Christ, our bridegroom,
There are many good things said about marriage.
From stories of marriages to parameters for marriages,
And marriage as a metaphor.
The Bible describes marriage as a mutual love between a man and a woman.
But as good as it is,
Marriage is not the ultimate good thing from God.
In fact, despite all the good things the Bible says about marriage,
Slide
Jesus teaches in Matthew 22:30, Mark 12:25, and Luke 20:34-35,
For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
That there will be no marriage between humans in the afterlife,
Because, as Rev. 19:7-9 teaches,
We all will be married to our Bridegroom,
Jesus Christ.
This means your spouse, if you are married,
Or your desire for a spouse, if you are single,
Can easily become an idol,
When marriage becomes the ultimate good thing in your heart.
Because it is replacing God as the ultimate good thing in your heart.
Jesus never married,
He even seems to advocate for those who can handle being single to remain single in Matthew 19:10-12.
Likewise, the Apostle Paul,
Who also remained single,
Counterbalances the goodness of marriage,
Slide
With the ministry effectiveness of singleness in 1 Cor. 7:8,
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
But he also warns that prohibiting marriage corrupts an institution made by God in 1 Tim. 4:3.
I give you these passages because I do not want culture to cause us to misunderstand the teaching of Scripture.
Marriage is good,
But it is not the greatest good.
And remaining single is good,
But it is not the greatest good
God is the greatest good.
So, whether you are single or married,
Or you desire to remain single or be married,
God remains the greatest good.
Pleasing and honoring God is our highest priority,
Our heart’s greatest desire.
And we must use our marriage or our singleness to that end.
That being said,
In our context this morning, Proverbs is teaching on the goodness of marriage.
Slide
As it similarly says in Prov. 12:4:
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
This verse also teaches that marriage is not implicitly good just because a man and a woman get married.
When one or both members in a marriage are foolish or shameful,
It is like a rottenness that eats away at your body.
But when you are wise, or prudent,
The marriage becomes a good blessing from God.
And that is important to remember.
Because culturally, we put so much pressure on ourselves to find “the one.”
Or trying to follow God’s will on who to marry.
But predicting or controlling the outcome of who you choose to marry is not easy.
I am sure my wife, Stephanie, would affirm that I am a very different person than the guy she said yes to marrying nearly 8 years ago.
If you would have asked 24 year old Stephanie to predict what I would be like in my 30s,
She would not have been able to describe who I am today.
But we praise God for the people He has shaped us into,
Because our relationship is stronger and healthier than it was when we got married,
Because of God!
For us, it has only been 8 years.
For some of you, it has been less than that,
Maybe a couple of years.
For some, it has been more,
10, 20, 30, 40, maybe even 50 or more years!
And when you first began dating,
Or got engaged,
Or even got married,
You were very different then, from who you are now,
And there was no way to predict that you would be who you are at this point in your life and marriage.
So, this means if you have a good marriage, a happy marriage, a wise spouse,
It is a gift from God.
I am not trying to discount the work and effort anyone puts into marriage.
But if you really think you have a good marriage only because of you and what you have done,
You are a fool.
Happy, healthy, and wise marriages are a blessing from God,
They glorify God,
And they happen because of God.
There is no way two selfish, sinful people are able to harmoniously live as one-flesh without the work of God.
This is even true for non-Christian marriages.
It is a common grace of God.
And we must thank God for it.
Slide
So, with this understanding, going back to vs. 12 of our passage,
This is a truly remarkable verse.
It is saying that, by God’s grace, a biblical woman will be a blessing to her husband all the days of her life.
In life and death, the husband of a biblical woman can be confident that she will do him good.
Any man who marries a biblical woman will be blessed by her precious character and wisdom all the days of her life.
This man is a fortunate man.
Any married man needs a biblical woman to live well in this world.
A biblical woman builds her husband up both at home and outside the home.
Slide
This is what Prov. 31:23 is getting at.
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
If you are a married man, a biblical wife is your greatest asset.
The husband of a biblical wife, Proverbs teaches, is well-thought of in important places.
And everyone knows that he is her husband and she is his wife.
They have a reputable marriage,
And a marriage that fosters a good reputation.
Simply being married to a biblical woman,
Speaks well of her husband.
Likewise, simply being married to a biblical man, speaks well of her.
That is the idea of being known in the gates.
The city gates was where wisdom cried out back in Proverbs 1:21.
This means, the husband of a biblical woman is known by wisdom,
And known as being wise himself,
Because he is sitting among the elders of the land.
The idea seems to suggest that a biblical wife’s skill, diligence, and wisdom,
Empowers her husband to be better.
She helps spur him toward greatness.
She encourages him to grow and mature in ways he couldn’t without her.
Because of her wisdom,
Her husband is able to be among the leaders in the city.
Brothers and sisters,
As your pastor,
Let me just say that you are all blessed by Stephanie,
Far more than you realize.
There is so much support, encouragement, and wisdom,
That comes from my wife behind the doors of that parsonage that you all are completely unaware of.
Outside of God,
Stephanie is the most responsible for the things I have done well as a pastor,
And the most responsible for preventing the things I do poorly.
This is one of the many ways she continues to capture my affection,
And this is one example of me, as her husband,
Slide
Demonstrating what vs. 28 says,
That I praise her.
Prov. 31:28 says;
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
According to vs. 28, a biblical woman wins the love and admiration of her family.
The reward of being a biblical woman is deeper family relationships.
Children rise to their feet and call their mom blessed.
They testify to the impact she has on their lives,
How her influence guides them.
Unfortunately, there is a great deal of confusion,
And a significant debate in our culture regarding motherhood.
For a while, motherhood began being treated as if it were a burden,
That robs women of joy.
But very recently,
A shift has started to occur that is once again petitioning for the blessing of motherhood.
Time Magazine published a story titled “The Case for Staying Home: Why More Moms are Opting Out of the Rat Race.”
Slide
In it, the article says;
“Most women who step out of their careers find unexpected delights on the home front, not to mention the enormous relief of no longer worrying about shortchanging their kids.”
The women interviewed for this article express what vs. 28 says,
There is a joy and fulfillment to raising children as a biblical mother.
As children are blessed by their biblical mother,
They in turn, bless her for how she raised them and what she taught them.
Proverbs is teaching that the wisdom of a biblical woman inspires praise from those who know her best,
Her family.
Joining the blessing from children,
Vs. 28 says the husband of a biblical woman also praises her.
This, Proverbs presents, is a reward in this world for being a biblical wife and mother.
But this is merely a sample of the ultimate reward for being a biblical woman,
Which is presented at the very end of this chapter,
GOD: Biblical Worker (vs. 13-19)
GOD: Biblical Worker (vs. 13-19)
Which we will look at,
Slide
After going back to vs. 13-19 to look at how a wise woman is a biblical worker.
She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
This passage reveals how this woman has incredible energy.
She uses her hands to take care of her family.
In vs. 13, she is taking care of clothes.
Wool and flax were materials used to make linen.
In vs. 14, she is taking care of food.
Comparing a wise woman to the ships of a merchant illustrates that she is a biblical worker.
As the following verses reinforce,
A wise woman engages in commerce.
In this case, having enough prosperity to import food.
She is setting out and returning daily like a ship,
To bring in what her family needs.
Vs. 15 continues this idea but also considering the schedule,
She is rising before the sun to do this.
And she is providing for her entire household, including those who work for her.
She provides them with food, and gives them regular tasks, duties, or responsibilities,
She provides by any means.
Quick note though, the word translated as food in vs. 15 is the same word used to describe prey.
So, it is not saying she is getting up early to pick berries or make bread.
She is going out while it is still dark to seek game for her family.
She has the diligence, strength, and cunning to fill her household with prey.
But it is not as if she is solely a homemaker.
Slide
Vs. 16 shows that she is a savvy businesswoman,
Using her home as a base for her operation.
Considering a field and buying it is not suggesting she is making a foolish purchase to put herself in debt.
No, it implies that being a biblical worker makes a person business savvy.
After earning money from the field that she purchases,
She uses her earnings to reinvest in planting a vineyard.
It requires tremendous strength to be a biblical worker.
Planting a vineyard with the fruit of her hands,
Means she clears the stones, plants the vines, digs a winepress,
And builds any structures the vineyard needs.
It takes a lot of strength to do all these things!
She is not a proud woman,
But a confident woman devoted to excellence who is also fair.
She conducts her business with wisdom,
And keeping her lamp on at night,
Slide
As vs. 18 says.
This metaphor could mean one of two things,
But both seem applicable.
Either it is the idea of burning the midnight oil,
Meaning she remains a diligent worker,
Even in the dark of night.
Which going back to vs. 15,
Suggests she rises to work from before the sun rises,
And continues to work after the sun sets.
The other possibility is that it symbolizes the prosperity of a biblical worker,
She has the prosperity to continue burning oil through the night,
Which extends to the idea of having a long life.
So, both interpretations of the metaphor hold up.
And she does what she can with what she is given.
Vs. 19 says she puts her hands to the distaff.
This is somewhat difficult to understand,
Other translations refer to the distaff as the spinning staff.
It is a staff that wool or flax would be wound around before spinning it into thread.
So, the context here,
Leads translators to believe that a biblical worker has the ability to make her own clothes,
In other words,
A wise woman who is a biblical worker is able to provide for herself,
To do what needs to be done without complaint or self-pity.
These are the wise traits of a biblical worker.
YOU: Biblical Character (vs. 20-22, 24-27, 29-31)
YOU: Biblical Character (vs. 20-22, 24-27, 29-31)
Slide
Lastly, vs. 20-22, 24-27, and 29-31 illustrate the wise traits of biblical character.
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Not only is a biblical woman devoted to her family,
But vs. 20 shows a sense of devotion to her community as well.
Biblical character includes tenderheartedness,
A sense of consciousness toward the less fortunate,
A generous and gracious spirit.
The fact that this verse comes right after the traits of being a biblical worker,
Leads to the idea that a biblical woman uses the fruit of her work in charitable ways.
A biblical woman is not so busy with her home or work that she becomes blind to the hurt of others.
Much like Jesus, a biblical woman opens her arms to the poor.
Meets them where they are at,
And reaches out to help, aid, or assist.
And this is not limited to monetary giving.
This can include the poor in spirit.
Hugging a person who feels lonely or afraid,
Providing a shoulder for the hurt or broken to cry on.
A biblical woman is sensitive to the needs of others,
And works to provide those needs.
This is important because too often we like to “help” people the way we think they need to be helped,
Which tends to not be the help they need,
Keeping them in their position of need.
So, when we are blessed for living wisely,
Instead of using it for our own self-indulgence,
Or “helping” others by our own standards of “help” which does not help,
We use those blessings as an opportunity to bless others the way they most need help.
The reality is, life has its ups and downs,
Its good times and bad times.
Preparedness for those times is a part of having biblical character.
That is what we see from the biblical woman.
When she is confronted with those hard times,
She springs into action.
Not in a pointless sense of busyness,
But in a purposeful way.
Slide
As vs. 21 shows,
When cold weather comes,
She sees to it that her family is ready.
It says her household is clothed in scarlet.
This indicates that her family is wearing high quality wool,
Other translations say that her household is doubly clothed.
Both communicate the idea that the family of a wise woman is not afraid of snow,
Because they have what they need to stay warm,
Because of the wise woman’s preparedness.
So, when times are tough, she does not lower the bar or make excuses.
She does her best,
First, looking out for the interest of others.
But then also taking care of herself.
She is a woman of means.
Therefore, God entrusts her with material blessings because of her biblical character.
He knows she will not hoard her material blessings,
She will share them.
Slide
So, vs. 22 shows that by working with her own hands,
She uses fine fabrics and high quality materials to make clothes for herself,
Just like the previous verse said she did for her family.
So, this teaches us that a biblical woman is strong and elegant,
Gracious and attractive.
Her decorated house and well-dressed outward appearance,
Serves to enhance the beauty that shines from her heart and soul.
Her outward beauty is a representation of the beauty of her biblical character.
Slide
Skipping ahead to vs. 24-27,
We continue to see what else this wise woman of biblical character does.
She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
In vs. 24, she continues to show how active she is with her hands.
She makes clothing for her family,
She makes clothing for herself,
And she makes enough to sell to make a profit.
She is a salesperson.
She sells the clothes she makes from linen,
And sashes used as outer garments.
But her clothing is not entirely made out of physical material.
Vs. 25 shows that she is clothed by her biblical character.
Strength and dignity are descriptions of a biblical woman.
She is known as honorable.
And as a result of the blessings that come from being a biblical worker,
She does not fear her future in this world.
Therefore, she can laugh at the time to come.
Which also implies that she is a woman who has a sense of humor,
And has an optimistic outlook on life.
Then, vs. 26 shows that a woman of biblical character uses appropriate speech.
She has words of wisdom that just flow out of her mouth like a river.
She has loving instruction that drips off her tongue like honey.
She knows the power of words,
So, she uses her words well.
She has wisdom to guard the untamable beast we call the tongue,
Proving herself to be gracious in her speech.
All the while, vs. 27 shows that she remains attentive to her home.
It says she watches over the activities of her household.
She has a reputation for vigilance and diligence,
She does not eat the bread of idleness,
Means she is not a sluggard,
She is not lazy.
She herself is active because there is always much to do.
So, her eyes remain open,
Aware of every member of her family,
Sensitive to who they are,
Conscious of their needs,
And prepared if she spots any danger.
This entire poem is a tribute to a biblical woman.
And as a tribute it ends as it should,
With an eternal perspective,
Slide
And praise from the Lord.
“Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
First, it is as if the human author concludes his part in vs. 29 essentially saying,
Many women can do noble things,
But even if all the noble women of the world were gathered together,
You, woman of biblical character, surpass them all.
Then, he hands the microphone to God,
And sits down,
Slide
Then God concludes by saying in vs. 30-31,
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
Charm and beauty are not inherently bad.
But as gracious or favorable as charm can be,
It is deceiving.
And as beautiful as a person’s physical appearance may be,
It is fleeting.
Both charm and beauty are merely temporary,
They are not what make a woman wise.
A wise woman is a biblical woman.
Inner spiritual beauty is not deceptive or vain.
Your physical appearance will not endure.
If you trust in these temporary things you are a fool who is only deceiving yourself.
A wise woman knows what matters,
Knows what lasts,
Knows what is eternal.
And these are what you must value.
If you belong to Jesus, as Col. 3:1-3 says,
You will seek the things that are above,
You will set your mind on things above,
Because your life is with Christ in God.
So, the greatest example a wise woman sets for us,
Is when she enters into a relationship with the Person Who is Wisdom,
Jesus Christ.
As vs. 30 says, she fears the Lord,
And that is worthy of praise.
That is what matters to a biblical woman,
Knowing the Lord,
Loving the Lord,
Fearing the Lord.
That is the passion of a biblical woman,
Please Him, know Him, obey Him, honor Him.
A wise biblical woman will receive praise for this.
Not from people necessarily,
But from the Lord, certainly.
So, living life wisely is a life that displays the fruit of a relationship with Jesus,
And that is a life worthy of praise.
Vs. 31 is the only explicit command in this entire passage.
It is a command to give to the biblical woman the fruit of her wise ways.
And the reward of wisdom is dependent upon how it begins,
With the fear of the Lord.
But it also suggest that at the end of her life in this world,
A biblical woman will be able to look back over her service to God,
And service to others,
And she will have no regrets.
In fact, her service will be her chorus of praise as she enters into God’s presence in heaven.
WE: Conc.
WE: Conc.
Slide
Vs. 10-29 is really about practical wisdom.
But the final two verses of Proverbs,
Is where the basis of all wisdom is emphasized.
These two verses bring the entire book of Proverbs full circle.
The book opened with a father telling his son to marry Lady Wisdom,
And it ends with a husband praising his wise wife.
Proverbs has taught us that when we look around and observe the created order in this world,
We are able to glean some wisdom,
And some knowledge of God.
But it is only what God specially and specifically reveals to us through His Word that enables us to have a saving knowledge of God.
So, true wisdom is a life lived in perfect obedience to everything God has revealed in His Word.
If we think of it like a path,
As Proverbs has illustrated,
The start of this path is fear of the Lord.
Vs. 30 says a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised,
This is a woman who is on the obedient path of wisdom,
A woman who trusts in the Lord,
A Jesus woman.
And this is exactly how Proverbs started back in Prov. 1:7,
Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.
The wise woman of Proverbs 31 is a perfect role model.
But she ultimately points to Jesus,
Who is the embodiment of wisdom.
Therefore, fear of the Lord is the foundational trust in Christ.
This is the start of the path that leads to eventual perfect Christ-likeness in heaven.
We all fail at living in perfect obedience to God’s Word.
Men fail at perfect biblical manhood,
Women fail at perfect biblical womanhood,
And this failure takes us off the path to heaven.
But not Christ.
Christ perfectly obeyed everything in the Bible,
He is the perfect Human.
And when He died on the cross,
He died for our imperfect obedience,
For our failures.
So, we cannot be biblical men and women without being in a relationship with the One Who is Wisdom,
Jesus Christ.
So, the wise woman in Proverbs 31 is not just some lady,
She is a Jesus woman.
And ultimately, the praise of this world is insignificant,
But the praise of Jesus means everything.
So she is a biblical woman not because of all the practical wisdom,
But because she fears the Lord,
She has a loving and trusting, covenantal relationship with God,
Made possible through Jesus Christ.
Which then grows the practical wisdom.
And this is how she is an example for us.
Despite all the practically wise examples given,
Not only by this woman,
But throughout all of Proverbs,
We come back to where we started,
That the Words we live by are to fear the Lord.
In other words, the biblical woman’s greatest example for us,
Is her relationship with Jesus.
From that relationship,
All other wisdom flows.
Pray.