We Are Submitted Together

Reading: 1 Peter 3:1-7

1 Peter 3:1–7 ESV

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Pray

Marriage is a unique relationship. There is no substitute for a good marriage - the special bond between a man and woman provides security, love, commitment, and a unity that makes life so much better. I, frankly, don’t know what I’d do without my wife. I even told her that, if she ever left, I was coming with her!

Peter has been talking about submission. He has instructed his readers to submit to rightful authority, whether in government or in employment. But then he turns to marriage. What does submission have to do with marriage? Is Peter trying to shove us back into a history of some guy bossing his wife around like a cave man with a giant club? No - Peter (and other biblical authors) see the beauty of a marriage when both partners care for each other. And a major way that you care for your spouse is through mutual submission.

I should note here: though Peter focuses on marriage, his advise is not merely for married couples. Single folks - whether widow or widower, unmarried or divorced - can find wisdom in this passage.

1 Peter 3:1–2 ESV

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

The idea of respectful isn’t just courteous, but of reverence. In fact, the same word used in 1 Peter 2:17 for “fear God” is used here. Her conduct demonstrates that kind of reverence for God. She is not flippant with matters of importance - she acts out of reverence for God as she handles her relationships.

There are two aspects of purity: both the idea of being unblemished (not sinful or degraded in any way), and the idea of being holy (set apart for a specific use). The godly woman’s life has both: she is not stained by sin, nor is she lacking in righteousness. She has been set apart for God, and she lives like it.

1 Peter 3:3–4 ESV

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

1 Peter 3:3 ESV

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—

The word used for adorning here is the same word used for the universe in the Greek mind - κοσμος. For many women, their external appearance IS their universe - it’s all they care about. They chase the latest fashion trends, spend hours each day in front of a mirror putting on all kinds of make-up, and put their personal worth in how much people compliment their appearance. But the woman of God is to be beautiful in a whole different way:

1 Peter 3:4 ESV

4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

1 Peter 3:5–6 ESV

5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

1 Peter 3:7 ESV