1 JOHN 3:11-18 - "Love Is Love..." Unless It Isn't

So, even though it’s a few days late, this afternoon is our Valentine’s Dinner at Buck’s Pizza (even if you haven’t signed up, you can still come on over!) Whatever you think of Valentine’s Day (a holiday to celebrate love, or a creation of Hallmark as a profit-making opportunity), there are few concepts so universally-affirmed as the notion that “love” is a good thing! In fact, our text this morning begins with a verse that I would argue would be wholeheartedly and enthusiastically endorsed by just about anyone, no matter your political or religious or philosophical basis:

1 John 3:11 (ESV)

For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

I’ll wager that you can walk up to just about anybody on the street, knock on any door in town, post on any social media feed or stand up in any college classroom and quote this verse--“We should love one another!”— and you will be unanimously agreed with!

But it’s been wisely noted elsewhere that the cultural battles we find ourselves in can be defined as a battle for the dictionary. In other words, the battle is over who gets to define what words mean. And that is precisely the case with the sentence “We should love one another”.

One of the most popular ways of defining the word “love” these days is not so much a definition as a slogan (and a weak one, at that!) You have probably seen or heard it--“Love is love!” What the speaker or writer usually means by this redundant sentence is that there is no single definition of love. However your own personal desires direct you to define “love”—or how you show it or receive it—is equally valid. There is no “wrong” way to love, according to this view—whatever makes you feel good about yourself, and whatever makes them feel good about themselves is “love”. (The popular definition of “hate” is pretty much the opposite--’Whatever makes me feel bad about myself is hate…’)

But John has a very different definition of “love” here in this passage—love is not based on how someone makes me feel or how I make someone else feel, it is not the “anything goes” attitude of “love is love”—instead, what John is demonstrating here in our text is that

“Love is love” only when it FOLLOWS the RIGHTEOUS example of Christ

In the verses we studied last time, John summed up the difference between “the children of God” and “the children of the devil”

1 John 3:10 (ESV)

By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

As we summarized it last time, a child of God is one who does right, and who does right by others. Love is righteousness lived out in relation to others, and whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, and in fact hates his brother. And starting in verse 11, John gives us the Bible’s “Exhibit A” of a child of the devil who did not practice righteousness and hated his brother: Adam and Eve’s son Cain:

1 John 3:12 (ESV)

We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous.

John illustrates the difference between a child of God and a child of the Devil by pointing to Cain so that he can warn his readers not to follow

I. Cain’s SELF-RIGHTEOUS example of HATRED (1 John 3:11-13)

Cain made it evident that he was “of the Evil One”—he did not do right and do right by his brother; he did evil and murdered his brother. Matthew Henry makes an interesting observation about the account of Cain and Abel that we read a few moments ago in Genesis 4. He points out that Cain murdered his brother in a religious dispute! Both Cain and Abel were carrying out the worship of God when this conflict broke out. And why does John say this dispute took place? “Because his deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous”. Cain was performing the deeds appropriate to a righteous man—but as we will see, his heart was not righteous. In fact, we see that his actions were governed by

an evil HEART of PRIDE (v. 12; cp. Genesis 4:3-5)

Look again at Genesis 4:3-5 (page 3 in the pew Bible):

Genesis 4:3–5 (ESV)

In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell.

Now, this book was written by Moses, who wrote the Old Testament sacrificial laws under the direction of God. So I think it’s important that he specifically records that Abel brought the firstborn of his flock with “their fat portions”. In the sacrificial Law of Moses, offerings that include the “fat” of an animal are most commonly connected with a particular offering, the peace offering (cp. Leviticus 9:18-20; 1 Kings 8:64).

The peace offering was meant to demonstrate fellowship (love) between the worshipper and God, and between the worshippers themselves. So the fact that Moses specifically mentions the fat portions here may be and indication that the brothers had come to offer peace offerings, which meant that they had to be blood offerings. Abel brought his offering in obedience to God (Hebrews 11:4 says that Abel was commended as righteous because he brought an acceptable offering), but Cain did not have an animal to bring, because he was a farmer, not a shepherd like his brother.

And here is why I say that Cain acted with an evil heart of pride—he could have easily traded with his brother to get an acceptable sacrifice! It would have been proper—and even commendable—for Cain to offer his brother grain in exchange for an animal to sacrifice. But Cain was governed by an evil heart of pride. He would rather offer an unacceptable sacrifice on his own than an acceptable sacrifice with help from his little brother!

That heart of pride will kill any motion toward love; “love” is not love when it proceeds out of a heart that says “I won’t let myself be beholden to anyone!” There is no relationship with God that can come out of a heart that says, “I have my own way of expressing my peace with God, and I don’t need to do it with other people in a church somewhere!” John says that we must not follow the self-righteous example of Cain’s wickedness.

Love cannot come out of an evil heart of pride, and love is not demonstrated by

an evil DEED of ENVY (cp. Genesis 4:6-8)

Look a few verses further down as the story continues in Genesis 4:6-8:

Genesis 4:6–8 (ESV)

The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.

The first thing that strikes us about this account is how gracious God is to Cain here—He speaks with such patience to him, doesn’t He? God’s words to Cain here are particularly poignant, since the last time the voice of the LORD is heard—in Genesis 3—He is cursing the ground and pronouncing the banishment of Adam and Eve from the Garden because of their sin! And here we hear the LORD’s voice He is gently and lovingly encouraging a sinner to repent from his sin! “Cain—you can repent of your prideful sin! You can go back and offer that sacrifice and I will accept you like I accepted your brother!” Not only this, but the LORD also encourages Cain that he can have victory over his sinful pride! He warns him, “That sin is lurking nearby to pounce on you, but if you obey Me you can master that sin!

But the heartbreak of this story is that Cain would not listen to God’s gracious call! Instead of repenting of the pride that prevented him from asking his brother for an animal for a blood sacrifice, he instead murdered his brother. He would rather cover his hands in his brother’s blood than the blood of a righteous sacrifice given by the hand of his brother. He did not just want to have Abel’s blessings, he wanted to have Abel’s place. And if he could not have Abel’s life, he would take his life!

Love cannot proceed out of an evil heart of pride; only evil deeds of envy and hatred. Cain would rather see Abel dead than see him receive blessings that he couldn’t have. And as John goes on to warn us, that same spirit governs the world that we live in:

1 John 3:13 (ESV)

Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.

This same envious, prideful self-righteousness of Cain explains

The evil HATRED of the WORLD (v. 14-15)

As one author put it:

“Abel is the father of many, and Cain is the father of the rest. The history of the world is a history of grasping, rivalry, and desire... Unrighteous men want what righteous men have, simply because they have it. But righteous men have it from the hand of God, and this is a blessing that, however envied, cannot be seized.”

https://dougwils.com/the-church/practical-christianity/the-family-of-grendel.html, Retrieved 02/09/2022

This is the way the world works! The world lives in guilt, fear and shame, but they will no more come to Christ for the blood that will give them peace before God than Cain would come to Abel for the blood that would make his sacrifice acceptable before God.

And so the world hates and envies the gift of God’s love that you enjoy—but because they will not submit to God in order to have it for themselves, they will hate and scorn and deride and blaspheme. There is nothing that even closely resembles “love” that can come from such hatred.

The only way to pass out of that death, the only way to pass into life, is through the New Birth that comes by faith in the Son of God, Jesus Christ:

1 John 3:14 (ESV)

We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death.

John makes it plain that the only way that “love is love” is when love is grounded in the person and work of Jesus Christ! The only way that we can love one another is by “passing out of death into life”, and the only way to pass from death to life is to hear the word of Christ and believe in Him:

John 5:24 (ESV)

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.

And once you have passed out of death into life, you are able to know and practice love, because you have been born again by

II. Jesus’ RIGHTEOUS example of LOVE (1 John 3:16-18)

1 John 3:16 (ESV)

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

The best that the world can do is produce a twisted caricature of “love” that serves itself, that uses other people’s feelings to make me feel better about myself. But Christian, you are not governed by that self-centered parody of “love”; you have been delivered from the grasping, envious hatred of the world. You have been set free from it because Jesus laid down His life for you.

In a delightful providence of God, 1 John 3:16 goes together perfectly with John 3:16:

John 3:16 (ESV)

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

In John 3:16 we see Jesus laying down His life to save you, and in 1 John 3:16 we see that we are therefore called to do the same thing!

1 John 3:16 (ESV)

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

You know what love is because Jesus laid down His life for you—and that means that now you can love His way—you can

LAY down your LIFE (v. 16; cp. Philippians 2:30)

It’s been well-said that the entire Christian life is about death and resurrection. We are first brought into it by the death and resurrection of Christ(1 Corinthians 15:3), we die with Him to sin and are raised with Him to holiness (Romans 6:2-4), we experience “death” in the form of loss, tragedy and catastrophe in this fallen world and are raised by the hope of our eternal life in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:20-22).

And in the same way, the Christian life is a life of dying for others so that they may rise! Paul wrote about Epaphroditus in Philippians 2:30,

Philippians 2:30 (ESV)

for he nearly died for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was lacking in your service to me.

This is the normal rhythm of the Christian life—dying so that others might live! You give up a weekend working to finish projects at your house to help your fellow member move into their new house—you lay down your projects so they can accomplish theirs! You give up a month of participating in a Bible study to watch kids in the nursery so that another mom can participate—you lay down your opportunity to attend so that they can have that opportunity! This is the normal, everyday rhythm of the Christian life—laying down your life so that your brothers and sisters in Christ can be raised up! The Life of Christ in you is a life that was laid down for you—and so that means the Life of Christ in you is one that you will lay down for others!

Jesus’ righteous example of love shows you that love means that you lay down your life—and in verse 17 we see that it means that you

OPEN up your HEART (v. 17; cp. Luke 7:13; 2 Corinthians 8:8-9)

1 John 3:17 (ESV)

But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?

In Luke’s Gospel we read the story of a widow whose only son had died. She was coming out of her town in the funeral procession while Jesus was walking in. We read that

Luke 7:13 (ESV)

And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.”

The Greek word that we translate “to have compassion” literally means “to be moved inwardly”—we might say “His heart went out to her”. This is what John is getting at in this verse—when Jesus saw someone hurting or in need, His heart went out to them and He acted on that compassion. John is effectively saying, “If you see someone hurting or in need, and instead of your heart going out to them your heart is shut down towards them, how can you claim that the life of Christ lives in you?? Because that’s not how Jesus’ life worked! Over and over again, when He saw people in need, His heart went out to them and He gave of Himself for them—and that is what He did for you!

2 Corinthians 8:9 (ESV)

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.

This is what makes “love”, “love”! You see your neighbor in need, your heart goes out to them, and then you open up your hands—you give up your comfort and enter into their difficulty so that they can be comforted, you give up your peace for them and take on their anxiety for yourself so that they can have peace.

Parents (particularly moms!), you do this all the time, don’t you? You’re awakened by the crying of a sick child, and so what do you do? You get up and gather that poor little one into your arms and sit up for the rest of the night so they can sleep! You take on their sleeplessness and give them your sleep.

Beloved, this is what Jesus did for you! He saw you in your sin and guilt and shame and rebellion—He saw you when you had given Him no reason to care about you at all—and in His infinite mercy and grace He gathered you into His arms, and took on your sin and guilt and shame and rebellion to Himself, sinking down into the grave under the wrath of God, so that you could have His perfect righteousness and holiness!

And John is astounded here in this verse that anyone who has received that kind of love from Jesus Christ could possibly refuse to show that love to someone else! The love of God abiding in you will draw you to lay down your life for others—if you refuse to love others that way, then what makes you think you are a Christian?

Love is love only when it follows the righteous example of Christ—to lay down your life, to open up your heart in compassion. And so in verse 18, John commands you to

LIVE out your FAITH (v. 18; cp. James 2:15-17)

1 John 3:18 (ESV)

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

I think it is P. J. O’Rourke who is quoted as saying, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom do the dishes!” Everyone wants to talk big about all the wonderful acts of service and compassion they will do, but talk (as John seems to put it in this verse), is cheap. What John says here, the Apostle James fleshes out in his letter:

James 2:15–17 (ESV)

If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

In other words, if the love of Christ by which you were born again does not move you to lay down your life for the sake of those who are hurting, there is something desperately wrong with your faith.

If you say you love your brothers and sisters in Christ, but never show up to worship with them, something’s wrong.

If you say you love unsaved neighbors but will never lay down your peace and leave your “comfort zone” to go and invite our neighbors to hear and believe the Gospel, something’s wrong.

If you say you love your church but won’t give up some of your own activities for the sake of taking on a serving role here at Bethel, something’s wrong.

If you say the love of Christ lives in you and yet you always choose your safe, easy, comfortable path instead of stepping into the difficulty, anxiety, pain and uncertainty of your neighbor who is hurting, then a watching world has the right to question whether you ever experienced the love of a Savior who traded the riches and glory of His position in Heaven for the brokenness, darkness and shame of sinners.

“Love is love” when it follows the righteous example of Jesus Christ who, though He was rich became poor for our sake so that we could be made rich in Him. “Love is love” when it follows the righteous example of Jesus Christ, whose heart went out in compassion to the ones He saw in pain and brokenness and misery. And if you hear God’s Word this morning and it reveals to you that your “love” has been all talk and no action, that your failure to live out that faith means that your faith is dead, then here is the Good News for you: Jesus raises the dead! He who raised the widow’s son at Nain, He who raised Lazarus who had been dead four days, the One who Himself burst the bonds of death and rose in victory from the grave forever—if He can do that, then surely raising your dead faith is a small thing for Him to do?!

Jesus raises dead faith from the dead—if that love has grown cold in you and you do not want to lay down your life for others, then name it for what it is, unbelief, and lay it down at the foot of the Cross! Lay down the selfishness, the grasping, envious pride that comes from the world, kill off that self-centered affection for your own comfort and ease, and lay yourself again at the Feet of the One who laid down His life to deliver you from all of it! Cry out to Him to re-kindle that love that has grown cold, to breathe new life into that dead faith, to fill you again with a love that the world cannot understand and cannot quench—the love that is born in you from your Savior, Jesus Christ!

BENEDICTION

Hebrews 13:20–21 (ESV)

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:

John says that the world hates believers because they have the same attitude towards us that Cain did to Abel. How does John use the example of Cain and Abel to demonstrate the nature of love, and the nature of the world’s attitude towards believers?

Read John 3:16 and 1 John 3:16. How do these two verses demonstrate the way that Christ’s sacrificial love is the foundation for and the pattern of your Christian life?

What does it mean that “the Christian life is a life of dying and rising”? What are some ways that death and resurrection echo throughout your life as a believer?

Read 1 John 3:17 and James 2:15-17 again. Spend time in prayer this week before God, asking for His help as you search your life for signs that you may be “loving in word or talk” only. Ask Him to raise your faith to new life through opportunities He brings you to lay down your life for the sake of others this week!

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