Loving Discipline

As we all remember, this book was written to be an encouragement to the churches in Rome, and in the chapter prior, the author gives an extensive recounting of the faith of the patriarchs and matriarchs of our faith.

He does that to remind the church of what can happen if we will learn to endure and have faith in God doing what He says He will do.

In order for us to live that way, we must put all that we have in God’s hands.

Just like Abraham, who followed God into the wilderness in search of the land that God promised him, we are called to trust God completely.

We must also allow God to remove anything in our lives that prevents us from living faithfully.

There was specific language in that passage about removing the weight in our lives that holds us back.

We talked about how important it is that we regularly talk to God about our lives and give him the opportunity to trim away anything that is in the way of us following him.

As we trust God completely, we will experience the joy that comes only from living in union with God.

Today as we move forward in chapter twelve, we are going to see that in addition to living with endurance, there is also a great need in all of our lives to let God mold us into His likeness.

This particular topic is one that some struggle with.

As we read this passage we are going to see words like discipline and punishment.

These are not aspects of God’s character that we talk about very often, because, frankly, it makes us uncomfortable.

We like to think of God as loving and kind.

A god like that is easy to sell.

The reality is that God does correct us because He loves us.

My goal today is that when we finish up this section, we have a new way of thinking about what it means to be disciplined by God.

Before we begin, I want to throw a few cautionary statements out there.

Not every negative thing we experience is God disciplining us.

For many, this is their mindset, if something went wrong in life, it is God punishing them.

My hope is to bring some relief to this fear.

There is a distinct difference between God’s discipline and the effects of living in a fallen world.

My car breaking down a few months ago and stranding my family for a few hours in the Sam’s parking lot was not God punishing me for something.

That was just an unfortunate event.

God speaking that I said something in a LG that wasn’t very nice, but me ignoring His prompting, and then getting called out by a member of our church the next week, that was God.

One was a fluke the other was God very purposefully making me more like himself by revealing sin in my life.

Do you see the difference?

Not all of us have had healthy relationships with our parents and that can distort our view of God and what it means for us to be disciplined by him.

I intend to give some examples of how I was disciplined by my parents when I was a kid.

The reason for that is not just from some comedic relief, but more importantly, because I want to show that positive side of proper discipline.

We are going to see the author reference the discipline of a parent as a way of helping us understand what God is trying to accomplish.

It is my hope that if you did not have good experiences in that area, some of mine may help you see what God is trying to communicate about himself.

So, I would like to pray for us this morning and, then let’s dig in and see what God has for us today.

Father, as we read your word today and you speak through it, I ask that you would open our minds and our hearts to see your intent.

The enemy would love to distort our understanding of what you are trying to accomplish in our lives.

Give us the understanding that we all need from this passage.

Father, if there are some with us today that had difficult childhoods in regards to their parents and discipline, I ask you to bring them peace this morning and reveal your heart for them specifically.

Help me to be gentle and communicate clearly how you intend to mold us into your likeness.

Amen.

Hebrews 12:3–13 CSB

3 For consider him who endured such hostility from sinners against himself, so that you won’t grow weary and give up. 4 In struggling against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly or lose heart when you are reproved by him, 6 for the Lord disciplines the one he loves and punishes every son he receives. 7 Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline—which all receive—then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but he does it for our benefit, so that we can share his holiness. 11 No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore, strengthen your tired hands and weakened knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed instead.

You know, when I read the first two verses of this section, I’m reminded of something I heard a lot growing up.

If I said that something hurt, the response I would get from a few of the men in my life was, “you ain’t even bleeding.”

If I was bleeding, I would be told, “that isn’t even close to your heart!”

In other words, Cowboy up.

Now, I am very aware that most would not appreciate or condone that kind of response to a child.

But it had an interesting effect on my life.

It taught me to ignore things that were only mildly painful so that I could accomplish whatever it was that I was doing.

This was typically in the realm of cowboy stuff.

I can’t tell you how many times I have come in the house and someone will ask me what happened, because I’m bleeding or skinned up, and I’ll have no idea.

Honestly, I’ll hurt myself and not even notice.

You may not see that as a benefit, but to me it is.

It taught me that I can tolerate more pain than I realize and that just because something hurt, doesn’t mean I should quit.

For example, if you fall off a horse, what should you do?

You get back on.

That is the best thing for you and for the horse.

It may seem counterintuitive, but both the rider and the horse learn from the experience.

As we read these first two verses, this is what I believe the author is trying to say.

Even though life sometimes hurts, you are okay, so keep going.

I was talking with Miki a few weeks ago, and we were laughing at the fact that now, when some new and crazy health thing happens, we think, of course!

When you have had to endure difficulties, you build up a tolerance.

Look at those verses with me again.

Hebrews 12:3–4 CSB

Interestingly, this passage is part of how scholars date this letter because once Nero becomes emperor, many Christians were tortured and killed.

However, at the writing of this letter, that was not yet the case and the author is telling the church that while life is difficult, it could be worse.

And later it does become worse and I guarantee you that they looked back at this time in their lives and wished that they were there.

As believers, this is a good lesson for us to learn.

I have mentioned this before, but we have been conditioned to think that once you put your faith in Jesus, life will be easier and painless.

That just isn’t true, but what is true is that as you learn to endure.

What was impossible before, becomes ordinary and comical now.

I love Jim Gaffigan’s bit on what it’s like having a fourth child.

“Imagine your drowning and someone hands you a baby.”

Some of you may have figured this out about life, and some of you may not, but if you think you are busy right now, just wait a few years.

You can handle more than you think and God stretches you to show what is possible when we trust him.

When we feel like life is too much and we can’t do more, remember what Jesus endured.

Remember what all those that have gone before you endured.

If you will put your trust in God, he will bring you through it.

When you start asking God to lead you and you put all that are in his care, you are going to experience that kind of stretching.

You are going to feel stretched because God is purposefully giving you more than you can handle in your own power so that you learn to trust him.

God is continually working in your life to make you more like himself.

God’s discipline is lovingly training you in right character.

Hebrews 12:5–8 CSB

5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly or lose heart when you are reproved by him, 6 for the Lord disciplines the one he loves and punishes every son he receives. 7 Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? 8 But if you are without discipline—which all receive—then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

When you read this passage, it becomes clear that the author is wanting the church to understand two things.

God loves you and is treating you with the same love and attention that parents give their children.

God is using your current circumstances to teach you.

I want to remind you of what I said in the beginning in cautionary statement one.

Not all that you are struggling with is the result of your sin, some of it is the result of living in a fallen world.

If you are unsure which it is, ask God.

This will give you peace.

It will speed up the process because where you were unsure before, you are certain.

Even if God didn’t cause it, he also isn’t going to waste it.

If we involve God in what is going on, He will use it to make us better.

Both of these things are significant for us to understand.

Not only for our own benefit but also so that we can help others who are struggling to understand that God has not forgotten them.

Your current struggles are not the result of God’s inattention.

God’s work and discipline in your life is the loving act of a loving father.

When I was kid, I had a friend that told me he started smoking cigarettes.

Well, if he was, I wanted to as well.

I had the opportunity to steal a few from a rental truck my parents brought home and then decided it would be a good idea to smoke while mowing the lawn.

Well, this was during the time when there were more anti smoking ads than you could count.

My little sister saw me smoking, remembered the ads, and called my mom crying because she thought I was about to die.

So, Mom called Dad, and Dad came home with a pack of cigarettes and made me smoke one after another until I threw up and then I had to finish mowing while being sick.

Guess what, I’m not a smoker.

I want to point out a couple of things that are true of my dad’s response and how God responds to us.

My dad didn’t respond out of anger, in fact, what he told me was that if I was going to smoke, I was going to learn how to do it the right way.

Which revealed to my thirteen-year-old self that I did not want to be a smoker.

My dad didn’t hang that over my head for the rest of my life.

He dealt with it and it was done.

My dad dealt with it immediately because he loved me.

If he had waited or just never addressed it, I wouldn’t have learned anything, and chances are high that I would have struggled with addiction.

All of these same things are true of God.

God responds out of love, not anger so that we can learn from our mistakes.

God doesn’t hold your sins over your head, constantly reminding you of when you mess up.

God deals with your sin and corrects you because he loves you.

Just like my dad wanted to prevent me from starting a lifelong habit that would be incredibly difficult to overcome, God is working in your life to prevent you from making life-altering mistakes.

If God didn’t love people, he wouldn’t care when we sinned and he wouldn’t correct us.

Hebrews Hebrews 12:1–17

Christians have never been entirely comfortable with hardship, which looks, feels, and smells like a “snake” but which Hebrews suggests is “fish,” brought by the Lord for our spiritual nourishment. We simply do not like hardship’s pain. Hebrews says this is normal. Yet pain and difficulty are part and parcel of living in a fallen world.

No one enjoys discipline, but it is a necessary part of living in a sinful world.

In my experience, when people reject God because they feel judged or condemned, it’s because they believe He is being harsh or vindictive.

We have an opportunity to show others that God’s discipline in our lives isn’t vindictive, it is loving.

By us sharing how God has worked in our lives to teach us, we are sharing the truth about who God is and how much he loves people.

God’s work in our lives allows us to share in His Holiness.

One of the goals of any parent is to teach their kids what it means to be a good person.

No one has to teach a child how to be a bad person, they are born knowing that.

If you are in that stage of life, you know that it takes diligence, patience, and lots of love to train up a child.

The long-term goal in all the time spent training that child is so that they become a functioning and productive part of society.

We want our children to not just become adults, but to become adults that make the world a better place.

Often you hear parents say things like, “I want my kids to do better or be better than I am.”

That’s what I want for my kids.

The intent behind that is that we want our children to have a bigger impact on the world than we do.

In order to do that, there is a lot of work that has to be done as they are growing up.

When I was kid, what I struggled with more than anything, was lying.

I can’t explain it now and certainly couldn’t then.

But given the chance to tell the truth and receive no consequences or lie and get a whopping, I would lie.

Every. Single. Time.

In response, my dad would make me go get my belt and meet him on the back porch at the whipping post.

Yes, that was a thing.

Y’all, it took me years, like nearly all of them, to be broken of that compulsion.

Had my dad not broken me of that, I certainly wouldn’t be a pastor, nor would I have the job I have now.

It would have been easy for my dad to just give up on me, but he didn’t.

He stuck with me and eventually, he got it through my thick skull that lying was bad.

This is the same thing God is trying to do in our lives.

When we are struggling with sin, God is not going to give up on us.

He is going to bring us into correction as many times as it takes until we learn.

For many people, this is received with a negative connotation, but that is not how it is intended.

I can tell you, and I’ve told my dad, that I am incredibly thankful for how hard he was on me as kid because it made me into the man that I am today.

When we are in an active relationship with God, we are going to feel the same way.

Hebrews 12:9–11 CSB

9 Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but he does it for our benefit, so that we can share his holiness. 11 No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

The discipline of God, when received in the right manner, trains us in right character, purifying our hearts.

As our hearts are purified, we are being made more like God.

The result of His work in our life is that His righteousness becomes our own.

What is so difficult though, is that His righteousness, when it is being worked into us, doesn’t feel good.

When God is working that way in our lives, it is uncomfortable.

It is that work that often drives people from God because they are unwilling to see it through.

When we are struggling, we aren’t alone.

We need to hear that and share it.

Look at the words of Isaiah.

Isaiah 35:3–8 CSB

3 Strengthen the weak hands, steady the shaking knees! 4 Say to the cowardly: “Be strong; do not fear! Here is your God; vengeance is coming. God’s retribution is coming; he will save you.” 5 Then the eyes of the blind will be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped. 6 Then the lame will leap like a deer, and the tongue of the mute will sing for joy, for water will gush in the wilderness, and streams in the desert; 7 the parched ground will become a pool, and the thirsty land, springs. In the haunt of jackals, in their lairs, there will be grass, reeds, and papyrus. 8 A road will be there and a way; it will be called the Holy Way. The unclean will not travel on it, but it will be for the one who walks the path. Fools will not wander on it.

God was giving us the tools to work through this through Isaiah.

We need to look beyond our current feelings and conditions at what God is doing in our lives as a whole.

Hebrews Hebrews 12:1–17

C. S. Lewis notes the meaningfulness of pain: “God whispers to us in our pleasure, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”29

God is trying to get our attention as we suffer.

It would do us good to pay attention and listen to what He is saying.

I find it interesting too that we have testified so many times about how hard we seek God when life is difficult.

It’s almost as if God is using that to draw us back to himself.

God is working, in all things, and the author wants us to see that.

Even when life is hard, God is still working and working for our good.

Look at how he ends this section.

Hebrews 12:12–13 CSB

12 Therefore, strengthen your tired hands and weakened knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed instead.

He is referencing the Isaiah passage we just read and he is going back to the analogy of running he used at the beginning of the chapter.

As we are running the race of our lives, run with God.

If we go our own way, we are going to find more pain and suffering.

If you get injured while participating in physical activity and you don’t address it and just keep going, the injury will only get worse.

However, if we go see a doctor or athletic trainer, let them diagnose the problem, and treat it, we will heal.

This is what the author of Hebrews is encouraging the church to do.

When you experience pain, go to God with it.

Let God diagnose the problem and treat it.

Through that process, you will be healed.

God’s desire is to make us like himself.

He has concurred sin and offered a way for us to be made like Him.

That process can sometimes be painful, but if we will talk with God about it and stick with it, we will be better for it and love God more because of it.

Related Media

Related Sermons