A0394_Learning to Listen
Date: 16th July 2008 (Wednesday PM) Ref: A0394
Place: Kambah P.S.
Title: Learning to Listen
Text: & James 1:19-20
Illust: Over the years I have known people in the workplace & you probably have known them too, people who don’t know when to keep their mouth shut. Don’t know when to shut-up. Are constantly getting themselves in trouble, annoying people, upsetting people; just because they don’t know when to keep quiet. – Many of them simply don’t listen.
I. Swift to Hear
A. Listening More
i. An exhortation to be swift to hear, to be speedy to hearken, to hear. – If you read any books on management, people skills, success / sales etc often times a chapter or sections on developing your listening skills
ii. Reason for this is that it is a vital skill for success in life.
Reading the biography of Sir Sidney Kidman the “Cattle King who at one time owned or had an interest in about 100 stock stations across Australia covering an area a little bit larger than New Zealand:
His phenomenal expansion in business came about because of one key skill more than anything else. – He listened
He was constantly after information / knowledge – He was a great listener
His wisdom in choosing the right cattle/sheep/horse stations was because he listened.
Proverbs 8:32-35 32 “Now therefore, listen to me, my children, For blessed are those who keep my ways. 33 Hear instruction and be wise, And do not disdain it. 34 Blessed is the man who listens to me, Watching daily at my gates, Waiting at the posts of my doors. 35 For whoever finds me finds life, And obtains favor from the Lord; (NKJV)
iii. Need to cultivate the art of listening. Become a listener
B. Silence Struggle
i. But like any discipline, for that is what it is, there is going to be a struggle. We always want to talk, we don’t like to have silence. – One of the hardest yet most effective negotiating tactics is to know when to say nothing – Just keep silent. Can make everyone very uncomfortable. – We like to talk to fill the void.
ii. The Silence struggle / Listening is a hard discipline to learn. – Doesn’t come naturally to many of us.
iii. But it is essential to success in life, to relationships & to effectiveness. – Help in marriages if husbands learn to just listen – Do not have to solve every problem. – Just listen – Learn to be swift to hear.
II. Slow to Speak
A. Disciplined Tongue
i. Following on from that naturally the challenge then is to learn not to speak. We are thrilled when our children start to speak we encourage them to learn new words & try out those words. From an early age we are encouraged / exhorted to speak – Need to be taught to be silent & not to speak. Be slow to speak James exhorts us.
ii. Don’t rush in to speaking, learn to restrain your tongue. Don’t have to speak every thought that enters your mind.
Ecclesiastes 5:2-3 2 Do not be rash with your mouth, And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; Therefore let your words be few. 3 For a dream comes through much activity, And a fool’s voice is known by his many words. (NKJV)
Read the story of a couple of opal miners who together with an old man had discovered a major seam of opals late one afternoon. – They agreed to tell no one & to come back in the morning & begin work. They went off to their separate camp sites. In the morning when they came back to their hole they found that the claim had been ratted. During the night the ratters had come & dug out most of the opal. – The two partners looked at the old man. – He hadn’t been able to keep it secret had told people & as a result the ratters had come in the night & cleaned them out.
Proverbs 13:3 He who guards his mouth preserves his life, But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction. (NKJV)
iii. We have all met people, maybe even be people that time & again get yourself into trouble because of the words you speak.
B. Wisdom
i. Need to restrain your tongue. To discipline your tongue. Think before you speak is what James is saying. – Invariably you can get yourself in trouble when you speak too much or respond too quickly.
Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. (NKJV)
ii. It is interesting that people often feel they have to tell you what they know. How much they know – But the Bible reverses this & tells us that the more you know, the less you say.
Proverbs 17:27 He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. (NKJV)
iii. We would be well served in learning to be slow to speak
III. Slow to Wrath
A. Righteous Anger
i. Lastly James exhorts you to be slow to wrath: - In other words learn not to fly off the handle. – Notice it is not saying that you don’t get angry, just that you are to be slow to get angry.
ii. Some things we should get angry about. – Righteous anger. – Should get angry over unrighteousness, injustice – Not meek & mild Jesus, He got angry, tipped over the tables in the temple, called the Pharisees white washed tombs. – Angry over sin & rebellion.
iii. There is a lot written in the bible about the wrath of God, a righteous anger
B. Don’t Lose it
i. What James is telling us is that most of the time when we get angry it is unrighteous. Over the wrong things, more often because our will / desire / plan /purpose has been blocked. – We get angry – fly off the handle. Speak words we shouldn’t say
Proverbs 14:17 A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of wicked intentions is hated. (NKJV)
ii. This is what James is addressing especially in & vs 20. – Our anger is often unrighteous. Does not honour God. – It is a carnal response to not getting our own way. This tendency to be quick tempered and act foolishly – have all done that! - There is something powerful in the person who through the Holy Spirit can control their own spirit.
Proverbs 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. (NKJV)
iii. The challenge is to put off wrath, malice – to be in control -
Ephesians 4:26, 31 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. (NKJV)
iv. Learning to listen: A call to & Text – to control the tongue, the emotions. – Need the Holy Spirit to help us. Should be a part of your daily prayer. Lord help me to be swift to hear, slow to speak & slow to anger.