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©December 19th, 2021 by Rev. Rick Goettsche SERIES: Advent
Most of us have experienced grief in some form or another during our lives.
Most often, we think of grief in connection to the death of a loved one, but we can experience grief any time we lose something we care about.
People who have gone through divorce grieve the loss of the life they thought they would have when they got married.
Those who lose a job can have a similar kind of grief.
Someone who has been through a fire, tornado, or other event that caused them to lose their home or treasured belongings has experienced grief.
A serious illness can cause you to grieve the loss of your health.
The death of a pet leads to grief.
And even having a dear friend move away will cause grief.
Those feelings of grief may never disappear.
Years later, you may still feel the pangs of that loss at different times.
Grief is part of the human experience.
Nnot every person works through grief in the same way or on the same timetable.
Even family members grieving a loss together will each walk their own journey through grief because their relationship to the loss and their personalities are each unique.
For our advent series this year, we have been trying to answer the question, “Who are you looking for?”
I believe that many are looking for someone to help them with their grief.
Holidays tend to magnify our feelings of grief.
Christmas is often especially difficult for those who are grieving.
Sometimes Christmas brings up feelings of grief we didn’t realize we had.
Our goal this morning is to look at how we can deal with grief without allowing it to steal the blessing of Christmas.
The good news for those who are grieving is that Jesus can indeed help us with our grief.
My hope today is that we can find practical and biblical truths that will help us as we walk through grief throughout our lives, but especially during the Christmas holiday.
Truths About Grief
There are several truths we need to understand when we talk about grief.
First is that it isn’t sinful to grieve.
Grief is a response to losing something we care deeply about.
It isn’t a sign of weakness or lack of faith, but a sign of love.
In the Bible, we see many examples of people grieving.
On at least two occasions people whose children had died came to Jesus in their grief.
In the Old Testament we see many examples of grieving individuals.
What we don’t see in the Bible is people being condemned for grieving.
Jesus didn’t cast such people away, nor condemn them for grieving their loss.
Instead, Jesus drew close to them and entered into their grief with them.
Probably the greatest example of this is the story of the death (and resurrection) of Lazarus.
Jesus’ friend Lazarus had died, and Jesus went to see Lazarus’ sisters and to mourn with them.
Jesus didn’t condemn them for their sadness and mourning.
In fact, Jesus wept along with them!
Jesus grieved the death of his friend and he grieved at the pain of those around him.
Jesus wept, even though He knew how the story would end!
Grief is not a sin.
It is not a sign of weakness or a sign of a lack of faith.
It is a sign of love.
And we don’t need to apologize for grieving—it is a normal response to loss.
Our goal should not be to get rid of grief, but to work through it in a way that allows us to continue to live, rather than getting stuck on the loss we’ve experienced in the past.
The second truth we need to see is that God isn’t afraid of our grief.
I think many people withdraw from God when they are hurting because they feel like they can’t be honest with him about what they’re really feeling.
But nothing could be further from the truth!
The Bible is full of examples of times in which people pour out their hearts before the Lord.
Much of what they say is messy and not how we think a person should talk to God.
But God doesn’t turn them away or condemn them.
He gives them strength and reminds them of truths they can hold onto.
This pattern is played out over and over in the Psalms.
A great example of this is Psalm 77.
1 I cry out to God; yes, I shout.
Oh, that God would listen to me! 2 When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted.
3 I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help.
4 You don’t let me sleep.
I am too distressed even to pray! 5 I think of the good old days, long since ended, 6 when my nights were filled with joyful songs.
I search my soul and ponder the difference now.
7 Has the Lord rejected me forever?
Will he never again be kind to me? 8 Is his unfailing love gone forever?
Have his promises permanently failed?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he slammed the door on his compassion? 10 And I said, “This is my fate; the Most High has turned his hand against me.”
(Psalm 77:1-10, NLT)
Asaph, the man who wrote these words, doesn’t pull any punches here!
We don’t know exactly what Asaph was grieving over, but it doesn’t really matter.
He is honest with the Lord about his grief, and about how he feels abandoned by God.
God doesn’t condemn Asaph for saying these things.
He lets Asaph share his honest feelings.
By the end of the Psalm, however, Asaph has changed his tune.
11 But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
12 They are constantly in my thoughts.
I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.
13 O God, your ways are holy.
Is there any god as mighty as you? 14 You are the God of great wonders!
You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations.
15 By your strong arm, you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
(Psalm 77:11-15, NLT)
What changed?
It is almost as though a switch got flipped, as Asaph goes from complaining about God to declaring his trust in Him!
What changed is that as he worked through his feelings of abandonment, he was reminded of how God had not abandoned him, and how He had consistently shown himself faithful in the past as well.
This is an important key for dealing with our grief—we must rehearse the truths we know about God’s faithfulness.
Reminding ourselves of what is true will help us confront the lies Satan often whispers to us in the hard times.
Reminding ourselves of the truth about God’s character and love for us will enable us to stand firm, even in the darkest of times.
The third truth we need to see about grief is that it doesn’t have to control or define us.
Grief is an intense feeling that comes from the loss of something dear to us.
Sometimes people struggle to work through their feelings of grief and get stuck in the past, constantly reliving the loss they have experienced.
Here’s the good news, even if you are in a place where you cannot see anything but your hurt and loss right now, you do not have to stay in that place.
Your grief may never fully disappear, but you can find ways to work through it so you can continue living.
Part of the challenge of a significant loss is that we feel like life will never be the same.
And that is true.
Our lives are forever changed by our loss.
But sometimes we conclude that since our lives will never be the same, that means our lives are over or that we can never be happy again.
That isn’t true.
We must choose to continue living, even though our future looks different now.
We must decide that we will not miss out on the present by fixating on the past.
We can get so caught up in what we’ve lost that we miss what we still have.
Why Christ Helps with Grief
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