Sermon Tone Analysis

Fireproof your Marriage: Fresh Vision for our relationships \\ Too Heavy to Carry

Lay aside the offenses of others: Forgive them!

Heavy burdens – tough to carry.

Take a look – Dennis coming from Home Depot.

Have to take a truck if you have a bigger load.

Really big load?

Take a bigger truck.

It gets heavier if you have to push the cart yourself – or bicycle in this case.

Or a hand cart – Note that all four guys are off the ground.

My favorite is to involve an animal to help carry the load.

But usually the really heavy loads we carry are personal loads.

Man or woman.

Lots of things cause heavy loads.

This morning I want to talk about one that creates one of the heaviest – unforgiveness.

The truth about forgiven is… it isn’t easy.

Because you never have to forgive someone for something that doesn’t matter.

You never have to forgive them for helping you, making your smile or making you feel good.

The only time you have to forgive is when you’ve been hurt.

And the closer the relationship the more the pain – and the harder to forgive.

\\ But though it is hard if you don’t forgive

the burden unforgiveness creates is terribly heavy.

It is too heavy to carry.

So lay aside the offenses of others – forgive them.

Jesus uses a story to help understand a perspective that will enable us to forgive.

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I.       The truth about forgiving others

!! A.     It is commanded

(NKJV) Ephesians 4 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, *forgiving one another*, even as *God in Christ forgave you*.

!! B.     Laying the offense down

(NKJV) Matthew 18 21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I *forgive *him?

!!! 1.      Forgive - Make it depart – go away

*ἀφίημι** *basic meaning to create separation – To release someone from your presence – divorce – to release one’s spirit, i.e., to die – to depart or leave – to leave something standing and not concern oneself with it anymore – to leave something for someone else to do – to release from legal or moral obligation, to cancel, to pardon, to forgive

This latter meaning we will explore – to forgive – to cast away the offense, releasing someone from the debt they owe you

The result – both of you will be set free

!! C.     In spite of real offenses

(NKJV) Matthew 18 21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my *brother sin against me*, and I forgive him?

!!! 1.      Miss the mark toward me

!! D.    Don’t keep score

(NKJV) Matthew 18 21 … Up to *seven times*?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to *seventy times seven*.

!!! 1.      Peter’s generous offer of forgiveness not even in the ballpark

!!! 2.      70 times 7 – perfect numbers – unlimited amount

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II.

Reflections based on Jesus’ story of great forgiveness

!! A.     Consider depth of own sin debt

 (NKJV) Matthew 18 23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who *owed him* *ten thousand talents.* 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.

26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’

!!! 1.      10,000 talent – 60 million denarii (1 day’s wages – 6,000 denarii = 1 talent – 15 years wages) – 150,000 years of wages (if 15 years for 1 talent)

!!! 2.      Vast amount

!!!! a)      Couldn’t have borrowed this amount – must have embezzled it – severely messed up in business (tax collection)

!! B.     Consider the vast compassion you encountered

(NKJV) Matthew 18 27 Then the master of that servant was *moved with compassion*, *released him*, and forgave him the debt.

!!! 1.      Impossible task he faced

!! C.     Consider immense mercy you received

(NKJV) Matthew 18 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and *forgave him the debt*.

!!! 1.      Audience would say – no way does he have chance

!!! 2.      Reveals the vast heart of the king

(NKJV) Lamentations 3 22 *Through the Lord’s mercies* we are not consumed, Because *His compassions fail not*.

23 They are *new every morning*; *Great is Your faithfulness*.

(NKJV) 1 John 1 9 If we confess our sins, *He is faithful and just to forgive us* our sins and *to cleanse us* from all unrighteousness.

!! D.    Consider the magnitude of difference in your offense to God vs. their offense to you

(NKJV) Matthew 18 28 “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who *owed him a hundred denarii*;

!!! 1.      100 denarii – a little over 3 months wages – an appreciable amount until compared to what the servant had been forgiven

!!! 2.      An appreciable amount – 3 months wages

!!! 3.

But small compared to what you owed

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III.

Problems with unforgiveness

!! A.     Shows Lack of love

(NKJV) Matthew 18 28  … and he laid hands on him and *took him by the throat*, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’

!! B.     Shows Lack of mercy

(NKJV) Matthew 18 29 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘*Have patience with me,* and I will pay you all.’ 30 And *he would not,* but went and *threw him into prison* till he should pay the debt.

!! C.     Impacts others

(NKJV) Matthew 18 31 So when *his fellow *servants saw what had been done, they were *very grieved,* and came and told their master all that had been done.

!! D.    Shows lack of gratitude for what you received

(NKJV) Matthew 18 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant!

I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.

*33 Should you not* also have *had compassion* on your fellow servant, just *as I had pity on you*?’

!!! 1.

An obligation of the forgiven to forgive

!! E.     Interferes with master’s relationship

(NKJV) Matthew 18 34 And his *master was angry*,

!!! 1.

More angry over unforgiveness than original sin

!!! 2.      Relationship with God will be marred as your sin will interfere

(NKJV) Matthew 6 12 And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.

14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

15 But if you *do not forgive men *their trespasses, *neither will your Father forgive* your trespasses.

!!! 3.      Prayer life will be impacted

(NKJV) Mark 11 25 “And whenever you stand *praying*, if *you have anything against* anyone, *forgive him*, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

!! F.     Results in personal torment

!!! 1.      Personal sorrow

(NKJV) Matthew 18 34 … and *delivered him to the torturers* until he should pay all that was due to him.

!!! 2.      Bitterness will consume you

(NKJV) Hebrews 12 14 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any *root of bitterness springing up cause trouble*, and by this *many become defiled*;

!!! 3.      Your life will be controlled by the person who offended you

!!! 4.      Invade your life causing various problems

!!!! a)      Health

!!!! b)      Interfere with other relationships

!!!! c)      Anger

!!!! d)      Emotional instability

!!!! e)      Negatively impact others

!! G.    Reflects a heart problem

(NKJV) Matthew 18 35 “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, *from his heart*, *does not forgive* his brother his trespasses.