What Do I Do With My Hurt at Christmas?

Rev. Leonard Reiss

2021 Advent - Christmas Questions • Sermon • Submitted 2 years ago

Luke 2:21–35

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During this Christmas season, we are reminded that the Lord Jesus helps us to wait well.

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Again, I want to express my thanks and give credit to Pastor Steve Luxa, from the First Baptist Church in Davis, California. He provided the ideas for this advent series and a direction for these sermons.

During this Advent season, we're talking about the "Real Questions of Christmas," as we live in that gap between Christmas expectations and Christmas reality.

To get us thinking about what we do with our hurt at Christmas, I'd like you to consider something that's called the "Marshmallow Test."

Basically, back in the late 1960s and early 1970s, a Stanford professor of psychology ran a study about delayed gratification that became known as the Marshmallow Test. What they did was they took four-year-olds and put them in a room—one at a time—to meet with a psychologist, who would sit down at a table with them. Then they'd pull out a bag of marshmallows, take one out, and put it right in front of that four-year-old.

They'd tell them, "Now, I've got to run an errand, so I'm going to leave this marshmallow here on the table in front of you. You can have this marshmallow at any time. But if you don't eat it, then when I get back, I'll give you two! But if you eat this one, it's the only one you're going to eat. Do you understand?" Then the four-year old would nod their head and repeat back the instructions, just to make sure that everything registered in their four-year old brain.

Then the researcher would leave the room with the child all alone—sitting on that chair and staring at that marshmallow in front of them on the table. And the researcher would leave them there for 15 minutes!

The Marshmallow Test was extremely challenging for these four-year-olds, as they wrestled between impulse and restraint, desire and self-control, immediate gratification and delay. That's why some couldn't take it and would gobble up the marshmallow as soon as the researcher left the room. Others would eventually cave and eat it because they couldn't take the wait.

But others developed pretty creative strategies for dealing with the torture of not eating that marshmallow for the promise of two when the researcher came back. Some covered their eyes, so they wouldn't see the marshmallow and stare at temptation, while others folded their arms on that table and rested their head on them. Some talked to themselves to somehow convince themselves not to eat it, while others sang to distract themselves from eating it. Some played with their hands and feet, while others sat on their hands and even tried to sleep, just so they wouldn't eat that marshmallow. Some picked up the marshmallow and smelled it just to get as close as they could to eating it without actually doing it. One four-year-old even licked the table all around the marshmallow, just to get a taste of it, if that was even possible, without actually eating it!

The anxiety of waiting was nearly too much for these four-year olds in the Marshmallow Test. I would suggest to us that this is much of our hurt and anxiety at Christmas: not all of it, but much of it.

We all enter into this season with excitement and anticipation, thinking how things should be, but then we run headfirst into how very far from it we are. So then we begin to ask things like, "How long until that relationship is restored? How long until that friend or family member is finally whole? How long until this financial struggle is over? How long until my loneliness is satisfied with a special relationship? How long until my hurt is healed? How long until that struggle is over, or that habit and sin is broken? How long until I'm different and better with people and before God? How long until our world is free of terrorist bombings and random shootings? How long until we get to open all those presents underneath the tree ?"

Much of our hurt and grief at Christmas is tied up with waiting for things to be as they should be, and that hurt is made bigger by that waiting. At some level, this whole heartache and hurt of Christmas that we experience, reveals that we're actually living God's Marshmallow Test of us.

So how do we survive and pass that test? In the heartache and hurt, how do we stick it out for when that relationship, that person, our world, or even ourselves are as they should be?

During this Christmas season, we are reminded that the Lord Jesus helps us to wait well.

Oddly enough, we do that by actually embracing Christmas and what it really means. In other words, we embrace the reality of Christmas, just like one of the very first participants of the very first Christmas did—a man whose name was Simeon.

Waiting on God - 2.21-26

Here is the setting to what leads up to the encounter with Simeon: After eight days after Jesus had been born, Mary and Joseph go through all the ceremonies that went along with introducing Jesus to their community and establishing their family before God. Let’s read part of what takes place.

Luke 2:21-24

Luke 2:21–24 (NASB95)

And when eight days had passed, before His circumcision, His name was then called Jesus, the name given by the angel before He was conceived in the womb. And when the days for their purification according to the law of Moses were completed, they brought Him up to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male that opens the womb shall be called holy to the Lord”), and to offer a sacrifice according to what was said in the Law of the Lord, “A pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons.”

These are all very standard Jewish practices that go along with having a baby. After eight days, Joseph and Mary gather family and friends around to circumcise their baby—marking him, literally, as Jewish. Then Joseph would announce his name as Jesus to everyone there. That was phase one of making Jesus a part of the Jewish community; circumcision and naming.

Then there was phase two. Forty days after Mary gave birth, they went to the temple in Jerusalem where they would offer sacrifices for Mary and pay money to redeem Jesus as their firstborn son.

That was all quite normal for the time, because it was prescribed in the Law, just as Luke shares. Joseph and Mary were ordinary Jews who loved God and brought their son, Jesus, into this Jewish heritage. In fact, they were so ordinary that they offered two birds instead of the wealthy-family offering of a lamb and a bird for this sort of ceremony.

But there's another person amidst the other Jews in the temple that day. It was that of a man whom we only meet right here. His name is Simeon.

Luke 2:25-26

Luke 2:25–26 (NASB95)

And there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon; and this man was righteous and devout, looking for the consolation of Israel; and the Holy Spirit was upon him. And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ.

What I just read is all we know about Simeon. He's a Jew's Jew, thoroughly righteous and devout. Since he's probably near death, he's always assumed to have been quite old, possibly over 100 years of age. When we meet him, this would have been 40 days after the birth of Jesus.

Luke says that Simeon was waiting. God had promised him that he wouldn't die until he saw the Messiah, the consolation of Israel, with his own eyes. He continually waited for years on end because God had promised him another marshmallow.

Simeon had been persistent in his waiting. He hadn't become doubting and cynical with all the waiting. He hadn't thrown up his hands in disgust and quit waiting for God's marshmallow. Simeon had continued to wait, even though years rolled on without so much as a glimmer of a marshmallow.

He kept looking for the Messiah. He kept trusting that God would bring Him in his time. He kept following God in obedience. He kept going to the temple and scanning the crowds for this child come from God. Simeon had consistently waited on God to deliver that marshmallow.

That is what it is for us to be actively waiting, much like Simeon did with God. Simeon shows us what it is to wait well on God. In the midst of our heartache and hurt at Christmas, waiting well means not getting bitter, walking away, or demanding results from God. Waiting well is that active attitude toward life and God, even during the heartache. It is intentionally trusting. It is being prayerful, dependent and obedient to God. It is watching for God to bring us that marshmallow He has promised.

So whatever it is you're waiting for right now that's causing you pain, be encouraged to wait well for it. Don’t give up or become bitter, because we know that God loves you and knows exactly what you need. Trust, pray, and obey God until he brings resolution. Be intentional in waiting for God.

Waiting for God reveals the kind of person we become in the process. Remember the Marshmallow Test? What's amazing is what the Marshmallow Test revealed what sort of people those children would become. The researchers ended up tracking those children into adolescence and early adulthood.

The four-year olds who were able to wait grew up to be more socially competent, better able to cope with frustrations in life, and less likely to become rattled under pressure and stress in life. The four-year-olds who couldn't wait grew up more likely to be stubborn and indecisive, to regress or become immobilized by stress, to be resentful about not getting enough, and prone to jealousy and envy.

Be encouraged. Wait well on God for that marshmallow of his.

But what does it take to wait that way on God, even with our heartache and anxiety? What do we need to realize about God to enable us to wait this way? Well, look what happens when Simeon actually sees Joseph, Mary, and Jesus.

Relief, Not Resolution - 2.27-32

Luke 2:27–32 (NASB95)

And he came in the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to carry out for Him the custom of the Law, then he took Him into his arms, and blessed God, and said, “Now Lord, You are releasing Your bond-servant to depart in peace, According to Your word; For my eyes have seen Your salvation, Which You have prepared in the presence of all peoples, A Light of revelation to the Gentiles, And the glory of Your people Israel.”

Simeon sort of got what he was waiting for. Simeon sees the child. Then Simeon goes over to Joseph and Mary, and took Jesus out of their arms. Then Simeon begins to sing a song over that baby in relief of his waiting. The name of Simeon's song, translated from the Latin title means "Now Depart," which is the very first line of his song. Simeon sings over this wonderful child, who is God's salvation and rescue, for all to see and hear. This special child, Simeon sings, is light come from God to show the way for Gentiles to come to God and to highlight Israel as God’s own people.

Now, remember something here: Simeon sings about laying eyes on not just the consolation of Israel, but the light of the world for Gentiles and Jews. The coming of Jesus Christ was better than what he was waiting for. His wait was more than worth it, because Christmas was more than what he expected for his wait.

Was Simeon's waiting over, now that he had laid eyes on Jesus? I think the answer is: sort of. At one level, Simeon's waiting is over because he's seen Jesus, whom God had promised to show him as the consolation of Israel. What does this mean? Simeon was waiting for God to actually console, to wipe out the heartache he had between how he felt things should be and what he was actually experiencing. Simeon was waiting for God to make everything right—everything that had gone wrong from all our sin and this world's evil. Yet, his waiting wasn't totally resolved, because Jesus hadn't yet completed the work of rescuing and consoling him and the rest of Israel: that is, Simeon's waiting was only relieved, not resolved.

Don't miss the power of having his waiting relieved. By having relief in his waiting, it meant that he could wait for God to completely resolve his deeper waiting one day: that would come in Jesus' future work. This is what Christ coming at Christmas does. Knowing that Jesus Christ has come at His birth, we can hold out for God to fully resolve our waiting. That is the hope from Jesus Christ coming at Christmas.

Christ came at Christmas to give us a relationship with God. That helps to relieve those aches until God resolves them—which may only fully happen in eternity, when we experience the perfect fellowship of God's people all through the ages, and we are together as one, with Christ.

We may be waiting for a habit to change or a cycle of sin to be broken, yet Christ came at Christmas to give us forgiveness from our sin, enabling us to keep working and struggling to break that cycle. We may be waiting for peace, without terrorists, bombs, division, and conflict, but Christ comes at Christmas to give us peace with God that forms the basis of peace with others. That helps to relieve that ache for peace until God resolves it, which will only be fully resolved in eternity, when he brings everlasting peace.

That is the faith we need in our waiting, so we can wait well on God for that marshmallow of his. Christ coming at Christmas relieves that part of our waiting so we can hold on for God to completely resolve it one day, when Christ comes for His children. Christ coming at Christmas means God has already given us what we need in our waiting. It also reminds us that what God has in store for us is worth an ongoing wait for him to fully resolve it.

Take hope that Christ came at Christmas to give you a relationship of acceptance with God, forgiveness of your sin, freedom from guilt, peace with God, and a life justified before him. That is God's relief for you in your waiting on him to completely resolve what you're waiting for him to do. Since Christ has come at Christmas to relieve us in our waiting, we can wait well on God for that marshmallow of his, when we’ll be with Him for all eternity.

How can we actually experience this relief and be assured of this resolution? How do we know that all this talk of Christmas isn't wishful thinking? Look at how Simeon finishes his meeting with Joseph and Mary.

Resolution Through Sorrow - 2.33-35

Luke 2:33–35 (NASB95)

And His father and mother were amazed at the things which were being said about Him. And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary His mother, “Behold, this Child is appointed for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and for a sign to be opposed— and a sword will pierce even your own soul—to the end that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed.”

Right after Simeon sings that song about Jesus, Joseph and Mary are simply stunned—because a complete stranger, who was a Jew's Jew, has come and sung revelation that simply confirmed everything they had been previously told. They may have thought, "How could he know any of that, except that God showed him?"

But then, Simeon gave them new information that they never knew before, and that the angels didn’t tell them. Their baby boy, Jesus, would be a point of contention, not accepted by everyone. That would cut Mary to the very quick of her soul. She's his mother, and she would be powerless to do anything about it, except helplessly watch it take place.

Jesus, Simeon said, would become the true test for people before God. Based on how people respond to Christ—either in faith or in rejection—their true colors with God would be seen.

You see, what Simeon was referring to, was the cross which Jesus would be hanged on in their future. Simeon was giving the very first hint that the baby they were dedicating to God in the temple that day was truly dedicated to God—even to the point of going to a cross to die for our sin. At the Cross, Christ would bear penalty of our sin, and he would die there to rid us of it. By doing that, Jesus became the true test for everyone with God.

Everyone who is listening to this message has to answer the question as to who will you trust? How you respond to that determines whether you’ll be with God and eventually have that waiting resolved, or whether you’ll run from God and fail to experience our ultimate resolution.

You can experience relief now by placing your faith in Christ and what he did at the Cross, which was His purpose in coming as a baby at Christmas. We can even be assured of God's eternal resolution, because if God sent his Son to die for our relief, then what won't he also one day fully resolve this?

My friend, look to Christ in faith. The One Who came as a baby would bear a cross for you and me, and He died there to erase our debt of sin with God and to take away the power of sin.

My friends, embrace him by asking him into your life to forgive you and lead you. Rest your heart in him by faith that he died to give you a relationship of acceptance with God, forgiveness of your sin, freedom from guilt, and a life justified before God. That is God's relief for us now. That is God's assurance of the extent he'll go to one day, resolving what we're waiting for and giving us that marshmallow of his that he's promised us.

Reflections

So what do we do with our heartache at Christmas? We see that right now, we're actually waiting and experiencing God's marshmallow test. We look to Christ in faith so that we can wait well on God for that proverbial marshmallow of his, because Christ has come at Christmas to relieve us in our waiting.

That's why Simeon sang as he did in seeing Christ come at Christmas. But that was his time to know God's relief to the heartache of his waiting and look forward to God's full resolution later.

So let’s wait well. Do so by embracing, by faith, the relief that is the reality that Christ came at Christmas, and then look beyond, by faith in Christ, for God to completely resolve it one day, even into eternity.

During this Christmas season, we are reminded that the Lord Jesus helps us to wait well.

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