How to Deal with Difficult People
INTRODUCTION: Do you know someone who is difficult to get along with?
I. Many types of difficult people. Jealous, proud, angry, selfish, insecure, broken, fallen, demanding, dishonest, contrary, defensive, demeaning, power hungry, indifferent.
II. How to deal with them.
a. Realize you will not please everyone. Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. View them as broken rather than bad.
b. Realize you are not going to change everyone. 2 Timothy 4:14-15 14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: 15 Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words.
c. Realize the Lord is on your side, 2 Timothy 4:16-18 16 At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge. 17 Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. 18 And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
d. Respond in love Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Ask the Lord to help you get along. Purpose in your heart that nothing they do to you will cause you to stop loving them. You do not have to like someone to love them.
e. Refuse to retaliate. Don’t try to even the score. Matthew 5:38-39 38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. 1 Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. Turn them over to the Lord.
f. Refuse to argue. Proverbs 20:3 It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling. Proverbs 26:21 As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife. Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
g. Refuse to lose your joy. Nehemiah 8:10 Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Often I can not control another’s attitude or actions but I can maintain the right spirit within me. Maintain your sense of humor and a positive outlook.
h. Refuse to take it personal. John 15:18-21 18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. 19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. 20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also. 21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me. Refuse to listen to gossip. Always ask who and when.
i. Resolve conflict quickly. Matthew 5:23-24 23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: Don’t run away from difficult people.
Pastor Jim Preston
Lighthouse Baptist Church
12140 Indian St.
Moreno Valley, Left Coast 92557