Showing Respect
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We are continuing Values to Live by and we are going to look at another endangered value today… respect.
We live in an extremely rude culture and it’s getting worse every day. It seems to me that respect for other people and their property is at an all time low. Look what happened with all the riots during 2020. People got mad and burn people’s businesses and cars and injured people. No respect… no self respect either. People have lost respect for our institutions… no one respect government anymore. I believe our nation is the greatest nation that’s ever been put in the planet… not perfect but a great nation, but I also believe our form of government is at risk because we have government leaders who no longer follow the laws they enacted. so even our leaders have lost respect for the law. People have lost respect for educational institutions, businesses, law enforcement and even in religious institutions.
We have had an onslaught of attacks on not just the system, but on men and women in Law Enforcement. That’s why every city is at a crisis in LE due to shortages. We are spoiled in JP, but many places you make a 911 call and they are NOT coming.
The Bible, God, makes it clear that respect is one of those values that a stable family or a stable life is built on. It’s even the framework for a civilized society. You can’t sustain what we have today and have a safe, civilized society. You have to have respect among people for right and responsibilities and for each other to have a civilized society… without it, our culture, our society and our nation will collapse.
The Bible gets specific about this.
Who Should We Respect?
Who Should We Respect?
Parents
Parents
5th commandment -
12 “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Church Leaders
Church Leaders
17 Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.
Spouses
Spouses
Spouses are instructed to respect each other.
Anyone in Authority
Anyone in Authority
IE: Government, Polices, Military
1 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. 2 So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. 3 For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. 4 The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. 5 So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience. 6 Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.
Just in case we left someone out… Everyone
Just in case we left someone out… Everyone
17 Respect everyone, love your fellow-believers, honour God, and respect the Emperor.
Everyone is worthy of respect. We all want to be respected, so today we will look at how to give and get respect. To get respect, you have to give respect
Why Do We Need to Treat Everyone with Respect?
Why Do We Need to Treat Everyone with Respect?
We will look at four reasons the Bible gives us to give respect to people regardless of their behavior or beliefs. As Christians, we should treat everyone with respect.
1. We should treat everyone with respect because God made everyone.
1. We should treat everyone with respect because God made everyone.
5 Yet you made them inferior only to yourself; you crowned them with glory and honour.
Everyone is created by God and God doesn’t make junk. He doesn’t make mistakes and he certainly did not when he made you. No one is worthless… no matter what they have done. God created them, he loves them and he sent Jesus to die to pay the price for their sins just like he did yours.
2. We are to treat everyone with respect because Jesus died for everyone
2. We are to treat everyone with respect because Jesus died for everyone
18 For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value. 19 It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God.
I may not think much of someone, but God does. If he didn’t he would not have sent Jesus to pay the price for all of our sins. He did that even for the people who reject him today. God loves each person and that’s why he sent Jesus to redeem us… to buy us back from our sin.
3. We are to treat everyone with respect because it shows I know God
3. We are to treat everyone with respect because it shows I know God
God is love and if I know God, I will love him and others.
8 But if a person isn’t loving and kind, it shows that he doesn’t know God—for God is love.
Love always treats people with respect. If you look at life like Jesus did, he always treated people with respect, even his enemies who were trying to kill him. He wasn’t rude, he wasn’t demeaning, he treated all of them with respect.
If I say I love Jesus, and he is living in me, I will treat people the way he did… with value and dignity. Look what Paul says about love…
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Rudeness is disrespect. When we are rude to other people, we are telling them that they are not important… only me and my desires.
Joke
10. People who call and ask, who is this before telling you who they are.
9. People who call and don’t leave a message.
8. People who honk their horn in a traffic jam… it doesn’t help.
7. People who cut me off in traffic
6. People who won’t let me merge in traffic but speed up.
5. People who take more than 10 items through the express lane
4. Junk mail
3. People who leave church early during the Altar time
2. People who steal a parking spot I was heading towards or waiting for.
Spam calls…
We even have to treat these folks with respect because God made them, Jesus died for them and it shows that I really love God.
4. We are to treat everyone with respect because I’ll get back what I give out
4. We are to treat everyone with respect because I’ll get back what I give out
This is the law of the harvest. It says that what goes around comes around. Whatever you want in life, you better give out. If you want respect, you give out respect. If you want people to smile at you, you smile at them. If you want them to be your friend, be a friend to them.
7 Don't be under any illusion: you cannot make a fool of God! A man's harvest in life will depend entirely on what he sows. If he sows for his own lower nature his harvest will be the decay and death of his own nature. But if he sows for the Spirit he will reap the harvest of everlasting life by that Spirit. Let us not grow tired of doing good, for, unless we throw in our hand, the ultimate harvest is assured. Let us then do good to all men as opportunity offers, especially to those who belong to the Christian household.
You do yourself a favor when you are kind to others. Pro 11:17
17 Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you.
How do we show respect to others?
How do we show respect to others?
1. You show respect when you speak by being tactful, not just truthful
1. You show respect when you speak by being tactful, not just truthful
The main way we show respect to others is through our words.
4 Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit.
He is talking about being tactful. Tactfulness is a quality we don’t hear a lot about today, and it’s missing badly.
Tactfulness is about how you say what you say. The way we say something determines how it’s received. Voice inflection can change the meaning of a word. Hello
Someone said, Tactfulness is the emotional lubrication of life because reduces friction. It’s the key to a happy home, happy marriage, to getting along with other people. It’s the key to strong friendships. Learning to be tactful and truthful at the same time is an absolute essential of being respectful. Check this out. People with tact have less to retract. You don’t have to eat your words as often if you say them in a nice way. Someone said, Tact is when someone tells you to jump off a cliff in a way that makes you look forward to the trip. It helps you to make a point without making an enemy. It’s speaking the truth in love.
Some people confuse rudeness and frankness. They think they are just being frank, but really they are being rude. They say stuff like, I just say it like it is… and let the chips fall where they fall. What that says is that they do not care about you at all. They don’t care about your feelings… if it demoralizes you… if it embarrasses you… they don’t care… and that’s wrong. That’s not being frank… it’s being rude and mean spirited.
Frankness is telling people the truth in a kind and loving but not condescending way. Whenever you want to be frank with someone, ask yourself, Why am I going to say this? Is it to help them or to hurt them. Am I saying this to build them up… or make me feel better. A lot or times when we think we are being frank, we are really being rude. and getting our anger off our chest. There is no value to that.
2. You show respect when you are served by being understanding, not demanding
2. You show respect when you are served by being understanding, not demanding
This is one of the greatest test of our character… how we treat people who are helping us… waitresses, clerks, secretaries, employees … When people are doing something for your, are you understanding or demanding?
I know one boss that takes potential employees to a restaurant to see how the person interacts with the wait staff.... are they demanding or understanding? He said that a rude person has a character flaw that he doesn’t want in his company.
Here is what Jesus said…
31 Do to others as you would like them to do to you.
We should always treat people like we would want to be treated. Someone said that Rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength. It doesn’t take intelligence to be rude. It’s like profanity. It takes no IQ to cuss at all. When you curse, it doesn’t show strength… it just shows you have a limited vocabulary and that yo have no intelligence.
On the other hand, it takes good character and strength to be understanding and not demeaning to people.
The secret to good service is to treat people the way you want to be treated. That waitress that is serving you may be under a lot of stress. She may have kids at home … might be a single parent. or Maybe the last three customers were rude to her… or the kitchen doesn’t have enough cooks and the food is coming out slow. If you are mature, you will be understanding not demanding and treat her and others with respect.
A great place to practice this is at home. I don’t know why we often treat total strangers nicer than we do those in our own house, but we do and it ruins marriages and traumatizes kids.
Be tactful, not just truthful.
3. You show respect when you disagree by being gentle, not judgemental.
3. You show respect when you disagree by being gentle, not judgemental.
As a believer in our culture, there is a lot that I cannot stand… that I disagree with… that are contrary to what God is saying in his word. I know that when you follow the Lord, things go better and that when you don’t things go worse. There are a lot of things in our culture that I really don’t like at all. But how are we supposed to react to these people? when they are my neighbor? or a co-worker? or a relative? They make a lifestyle choice and I disagree with it how am I supposed to react?
Remember these two truths.
Everyone is accountable to the Lord for their attitudes, words and actions.
I am not God. So these people are not accountable to me. It’s not my job to police lost people. They can’t live the Christian life with out being a Christian. It takes Jesus living inside us. It is my job to introduce them to the Lord.
12 Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. 13 So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.
There is a difference between telling the truth and being condemning or judgemental. If I say this is right and that is wrong, that’s not being judgemental, it’s telling the truth. If I say if you drink this cup of poisen you will die, that’s not being judgemental, it’s telling the truth. If I said that if you go out and play in traffic, you will get run over, that’s nut judgemental, it’s the truth. So if I tell a woman who is pregnant that if she smokes, drinks or does drugs while she is pregnant that she will harm her baby, that’s not judgemental, it’s the truth. If I tell people who are breaking God’s moral laws that it’s going to cause them problems down the road, that’s not judgement, it’s the truth.
Judgement is when you condemn people. Judgement is when you take the truth and beat people over the head with it. It makes you feel superior to them… that’s judgement.
What we are supposed to do tell people the truth to help them… to lead then to faith in Christ… to lift them up… not to tear them down.
IOW, You can disagree with someone without being disagreeable. You don’t have to devastate people whom you disagree with. You can be right about the issue, but if you don’t have love in the way you talk about it, it doesn’t matter. Remember, we are to love people. If you are not doing what you are doing out of love for the person, you are wrong. We are to be gentle, not judgemental.
Jesus is watching to see how you will treat the people he died for. Even the worst of the worst… all of them… Jesus died for. He wants to see how we will be… gentle or judgemental.
Two more ways to show respect…
4. You show respect when you share your faith by respecting people, not rejecting people.
4. You show respect when you share your faith by respecting people, not rejecting people.
15 Quietly trust yourself to Christ your Lord, and if anybody asks why you believe as you do, be ready to tell him, and do it in a gentle and respectful way. 16 Do what is right; then if men speak against you, calling you evil names, they will become ashamed of themselves for falsely accusing you when you have only done what is good.
You can’t argue a person into heaven. Turn or burn doesn’t work, neither does trying to show them how much you know.
20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
God wants to shine in your life, not for you to be a blow torch. When you share your faith, do it with gentleness and respect. Be tactful with those who are unbelievers.
5. You show respect when people are rude to you, you respond politely
5. You show respect when people are rude to you, you respond politely
Don’t retaliate by being rude back. That only adds fuel the fire and makes it worse.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
A kid named Tim’s little league team just got beat by another team. One of their players told him that they sucked, but Tim told him that he pitched a great game. The boy was stunned and walked away. Tim loved and overcame… Jesus was smiling.
Anytime you treat people the way God wants you to treat them, god is happy with your treatment. Where does this mindset come from? this mindset of respect? It begins in the family. If the family practices it and teaches it, it will be carried on. That’s what the 5th Commandment teaches.
12 “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
He doesn’t say to honor your parents parenting skills, he says to honor your parents. You honor the position they hold. In the military, of you see a man with stars on his shoulder, you honor that rank… no matter the character of the person wearing them.
Where does respect begin? It begins at home.
Where does respect begin? It begins at home.
I know there are some hearing this today with parents that do not deserve to be honored. They have brought you great pain. We also have plenty of leaders in our nation that do not deserve honor, but we are called to give honor.
With parents, you may need to have a conversation with them and honor them for what they did right and tell them why its’ been hard to do that. Forgive them and make the relationship right.
My mom died last November 16th. I was able to spend time with her and say everything I wanted to say to her. She died knowing that I loved her and look forward to seeing her in heaven.
Make your relationships right while you can.
Prayer -
Invite Jesus into your heart… Ask him to help you let go of bitterness and hurt and anger towards your family. God, help me to be truthful and tactful when I speak. Help me to be gentle, not judgmental with people I disagree with. Help me to be understanding, not demanding with people when they serve me. Help me to respect and not reject others. And when people are rude to me, help me to respond like Jesus would with love.
give me the power of your HS so I can do this.