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PROPER DISCIPLINE

Hope for the Home  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  37:55
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Hope for the Home: Proper Discipline
Prov. 22:6
The fact is parents that we are commanded of God to train, teach, and discipline our children so that when they are old they will not depart from the right way.
It is not the governments job to discipline your child, it is not the pastor’s or someone else’s job, or even the schools job, it is your job.
Now I don’t mind a school that gives corporal punishment, I believe it kept me out of an awful lot more trouble that I would have gotten into the when I was growing up.
But the fact is parents, it is are job to discipline our children.
Often parents don’t discipline for child’s benefit- but for their good name, or peace, etc. But always disciplines us for our benefit.
Rules should be clearly defined and proper discipline delivered.
When a rule is broken it starts the discipline process, first rebuke (describe infractions and correct) and then if rebuke is ignored - chasten
Chastening needs to set aside what they are doing and parent the children. There is no other way.

I. The Necessity of Discipline

Proverbs 19:18 AV
Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Proverbs 23:13–14 AV
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 29:17 AV
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
Ephesians 6:4 AV
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Admonition - nouyesia nouthesia, noo-thes-ee'-ah
means calling attention to, i.e. mild rebuke or warning:--admonition.
Nurture - paideia paideia, pahee-di'-ah
tutorage, i.e. education or training, disciplinary correction:--chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture.
Here are some motivations to discipline:
MOTIVATIONS TO DISCIPLINE:
A. God commanded it
B. Discipline promotes the child's temporal welfare
C. External discipline brings internal discipline
D. Discipline promotes the child’s external welfare

II. Properly used it will remove foolishness

Proverbs 22:15 AV
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

II. Its going to impart wisdom to the child

Proverbs 29:15 AV
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

III. Properly used the rod will not injure them

(beat child and he shall not die)
Proverbs 10:13 AV
In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.
Back is two parts, back and middle – middle of the backside.
Not randomly hit with sticks, but properly applying the rod of correction to the seat of understanding, for their benefit and wisdom in love.
Proverbs 13:24 AV
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
The Hebrew word translated rod is a symbol of God’s delegate authority to the mankind.
Figuratively the rod refers to the military conquest of one nation over another that is in rebellion to God or his plan.
Historically the rod has been used in many nations in this manner.
Literally the rod is a narrow stick used on a rebellious child by his parents

A. It is a neutral object

Your hand is part of a person, it should be looked at as tender and compassionate, not as an instrument of pain.

B. A rod used on the buttocks will never injure a child

Now it will inflict pain, which should help deter them from the rebellion or the disobedience, but it will not injure them.
It will be swift, it will be stingy, but it will break before it injures.

C. The appropriate amount of force should be used

This is based on age.
It is based on the offense.
Certainly there are limits.
Remember the object of chastisement is not to cause pain, strife, tears or sorrow, but it is to bring a rebellious will under control.
Pain, stripes, tears, and sorrow sometimes are the effects of chastisement, but they are not the object
We want to train our children to desire to please their parents as well as the Lord, especially him.
Chastisement is for correction of the error not just to produce crying.IV. Be sure to love your child before you Disciplining them
Chastisement is for correction of the error not just to produce crying.

V. Don’t discipline when you are out of control

Parents must be careful not to take out their frustrations on their children.
One of the wise things with parents who have a problem of getting to upset when disciplining, or a temper problem, is to simply wait, pray, and meditate on what way you want God to discipline you.

VI. Get you heart right with God and your discipline will be right

Proverbs 4:23 AV
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Chastisement is for correction of the error not just to produce crying.

VII. Discipline as soon as possible after the offense if you are in control

Sometimes when we wait 2 or 3 hours for a small child, they will not realize or remember their offense.
If you don’t discipline right away, tell them to go wait for you in another room alone.
This is especially good when a parent is dealing with there own temper problem, because not only does aid the parent in getting in the right spirit to lovingly discipline, but it also helps the child to anticipate the coming discipline, which simply deepens the impact of the discipline a great deal.

VIII. Be faithful to discipline every act of rebellion or disobedience

A. Determine rebellion from ignorance

B. Determine disobedience from accidents

C. We know it is rebellion when they stop doing what they have previously done

IX. If possible, discipline in private

I’ve known families that had a special room in the house for discipline.
I’ve know still others that discipline in front of others without and worry. I think it is a family thing, and shouldn’t be displayed in front of others.

X. Explain the offense before you discipline them

Even show them their error from scripture.
Ephesians 6:1 AV
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Show him that he has not just sinned against you, but also against God.

XI. Don’t get into a habit of restraining your children while disciplining

- Make them bend over your knee or on a bed
- Have them look away and put their hands underneath them.
- Take your time, especially early on

XII. Pray with him and have him tell God they are sorry for their sin.

XIII. Love your child and forgive them

Friends it is not according to our own worldly wisdom that we do this;
It is not because of society’s approval that we do this
It is not because the Pastor says it, because as many different pastors you have in your life you will find many different ideas about discipline.
The reason we discipline is because God told us to in his word.
He said to do it lovingly, patiently, consistently, with a good balance of judgment and mercy.
Remember the Bible says by Mercy and truth, iniquity is purged.
When Does Discipline Start?
Making the assumption that they have been trained above.

XIV. Control you anger

One problem is that parents do it in anger because they have put it off and then it cannot be done in love.
Angry discipline does not correct error but it produces anger.
Ephesians 6:4 AV
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
When you neglect your child, your training them that they don’t have to respond until a certain level of anger..
Proverbs 16:6 AV
By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil.
James 1:19–20 AV
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
Proverbs 19:18 AV
Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Some kids will refuse to cry. Because there heart is hard and rebellious and they don’t want to give you the satisfaction of breaking their spirit in this issue.
If you don’t win the battle, the child rules the home. You want to break the will and not the spirit.
Better to learn of chastisement when a toddler than jail or home.
Makes sure chastisement doesn’t increase rebellion.
Job 5:17 AV
Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty:
Goal of chastisement is bring reconciliation, joy, peace.
Only people that hate their children withhold chastisement.
Proverbs 13:24 AV
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Hope for the Home: Proper Discipline
Prov. 22:6
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