Family Drama
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Introduction
Introduction
Myself
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CVC Youth Leader
Missions
We are in week 7 of series entitled “Family Drama”
Looking to scripture to help us understand our family dynamics and create a family that brings Glory to God
Today we are going to be in the book of first Samuel, chapter 16.
Now… Important point of understanding about the OT
One long, interlinked story
Zooming in on one aspect/facet of much bigger story of God’s character
While you flip there in your bibles, lets zoom out and take a look at where we are in the bigger story:
After a season of being separate tribes (judges)- Israel demands a King(!)
“To be like everyone else” but really “they rejected God”
Intermixed in this story is the prophet Samuel: Miraculous birth, faithfully served God, served as the voice of God to the Israelites.
God graciously/reluctantly provided what they asked for: a kingly king (Saul) (Tall, handsome, none like him)
Samuel anointed Saul in private, and served along side him as a trusted advisor and the voice of God to guide Saul.
And… it didn’t work out well
Saul is ultimately disobedient and in chapter 15 and God rejects hims as king.
And Samuel said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day and has given it to a neighbor of yours, who is better than you.
Important Note: Saul wasn’t removed as King- but God’s presence, guidance, and spirit were no longer with him,
Chapter 16 then serves as a big change in focus.
Up to this point, our main characters are Samuel and Saul
Chapter 16 introduces us to a new character- which will ultimately be the main character through the rest of 1st Samuel and into 2nd Samuel
My goal today is that we would look at this passage and find encouragement in whatever role we fill in our families: Whether Parent or Child or Aunt or Sibling.
We are going to pick up at the beginning of the chapter and see where it takes us.
Let’s pray first
1 Samuel 16:1-3
The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go. I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.” And Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me.” And the Lord said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.’ And invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do. And you shall anoint for me him whom I declare to you.”
Reminder:
Saul is still the king. He still has power. He is still someone to be feared.
We will come back to this part of the passage in a few minutes
1 Samuel 16:4-6
Samuel did what the Lord commanded and came to Bethlehem. The elders of the city came to meet him trembling and said, “Do you come peaceably?” And he said, “Peaceably; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Consecrate yourselves, and come with me to the sacrifice.” And he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.
When they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed is before him.”
Pause:
Put yourself in Samuel’s shoes here:
Samuel was the one who anointed (at God’s direction) Saul: A tall, handsome, warrior King
A couple of years later, you are back doing the same task and you see a tall, handsome, impressive man in Eliab…
Of course this is who you are here to anoint!
But God’s response to Samuel changes everything:
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
This verse is one of the most profoundly impactful verses in all of scripture. Circle it. Highlight it. Memorize it- whatever works for you. But we shouldn’t lose sight of this verse. It holds the key for understanding so much of scripture.
Then Jesse called Abinadab and made him pass before Samuel. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” And Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel. And Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen these.” Then Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all your sons here?” And he said, “There remains yet the youngest, but behold, he is keeping the sheep.” And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and get him, for we will not sit down till he comes here.”
So God has called Samuel to travel out to the relatively insignificant town of Bethlehem and brought him to Jesse to anoint a new King from among his sons
7 Sons walk by. 7 Sons aren’t chosen. So what now?
1 Samuel 16:12-13
And he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy and had beautiful eyes and was handsome. And the Lord said, “Arise, anoint him, for this is he.” Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers. And the Spirit of the Lord rushed upon David from that day forward. And Samuel rose up and went to Ramah.
I want to draw your attention to a couple of things:
Most scholars believe that David was somewhere between 10-15 years old when these events occured.
David wasn’t invited to this party- he was completely overlooked by Jesse
His inclusion is an after thought. “Well, I guess I do have another one… “
When I read this, I hear: “He is really far away, and pretty insignificant. Do you REALLY want me to send someone out into the wilderness to find him?”
That brings us to the first major truth in this passage.
God Sees the Heart
God Sees the Heart
“For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart”
The truth is: It is in our human nature to judge.
And, when we say that it is human nature to judge, we are likely underselling it: It is wired into our very specific sinful nature. I do it. You do it. You might be doing it right now!
We judge a person based on their clothing, the color of their skin, the accent of their speech
We value people based on their accomplishment/degrees. Their success, wealth, or perceived influence.
We categorize people based on what they do (or don’t) post on social media. Are they a part of us? or are they with them?
We judge parents for how their kids behave in walmart, or the church lobby.
Is that enough examples?
Any honest look into our lives would reveal that judging the external is the foundation of our culture.
Beyond that, we filter our behavior, dress, social media posts in order to look (or be perceived) a certain way
Our time lines and our snap stories are curated to make sure we look like we have it all together.
We live in a world where we are always judging, and always being judged
So what am I supposed to do with all of that, as a christian. More than anything else, I need constant reminding that I am not God:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Everything that you and I look at is external. Everything we judge is superficial. And yet, these are not the things that God cares about.
Throughout scripture we see God choose the weak, the humble, the lowly
Moses, who God used to rescue the Israelites from Egypt, had a severe speech impediment
We learned in our series in Ruth, that she was a hated Moabite, and a foreigner in Jerusalem.
Jospeh was a youngest brother who was so disliked by his siblings that he was sold into slavery
and… He choses the 15 year old, youngest brother, shepherd who wasn’t even invited to the party to be the next king of Israel....
God doesn’t care about David’s age.
God doesn’t care about David’s height.
God doesn’t care about David’s birth order or family role...
God cares about David’s heart.
If we are honest with ourselves, we already know this:
If asked any of you in the room “what’s more important, appearance or character”- I am confident we would all answer the “right” way.
Yet, any objective look my life demonstrates just how poorly I do this.
Even today, I wanted to rep a CVC youth hoodie- but I was too worried that it would come across as “too informal”. That people might judge me.
Heck: In this passage, even Samuel- a wise and faithful prophet (who’s job is to literally speak for God) falls into the trap of seeing and judging based on the external.
Looking back at David, lets do a quick compare and contrast between human wisdom and God’s:
I mentioned earlier that my wife and I have been leading high school bible studies for 10 years:
Let me tell you about 15 year old guys:
They have contests about who can drink the most capri-sun
They wrestle any chance they get
And they still giggle every time someone burps or farts
They are, without a doubt, not the persons I would choose as the next king of Israel
But, that is actually the point. God looks past David’s brothers, and looks past his earthly qualifications- and sees a heart that will faithfully lead the kingdom of Israel.
Acknowledging this should cause us to ask some really hard questions:
Who have I written off because they didn’t meet my standards or expectations?
How may I, like Jesse, have limited my kids because of my assessment of their skills or value?
How have I presented myself to ensure other people “judge me well”?
Who have I failed to see value in?
The core of this passage should challenge us to see the value and potential in everyone: Especially within our families and especially in the “unlikely”
This passage should challenge us to prioritize things like “character” over appearance, accomplishments, or popularity. Not just in other people- but in ourselves as well.
Because that is how God sees us and that is what God ultimately cares about.
God Controls the Circumstances
God Controls the Circumstances
When we left the story, David was anointed as God’s chosen… and he was still a 15 year old shepherd, from a small town in the Israelite country side.
How in the world is this boy going to become a king? I am glad you asked! Let’s keep reading.
1 Samuel 16:14-23
Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers. And the Spirit of the Lord rushed upon David from that day forward. And Samuel rose up and went to Ramah.
Now the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and a harmful spirit from the Lord tormented him. And Saul’s servants said to him, “Behold now, a harmful spirit from God is tormenting you. Let our lord now command your servants who are before you to seek out a man who is skillful in playing the lyre, and when the harmful spirit from God is upon you, he will play it, and you will be well.” So Saul said to his servants, “Provide for me a man who can play well and bring him to me.” One of the young men answered, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.” Therefore Saul sent messengers to Jesse and said, “Send me David your son, who is with the sheep.” And Jesse took a donkey laden with bread and a skin of wine and a young goat and sent them by David his son to Saul. And David came to Saul and entered his service. And Saul loved him greatly, and he became his armor-bearer. And Saul sent to Jesse, saying, “Let David remain in my service, for he has found favor in my sight.” And whenever the harmful spirit from God was upon Saul, David took the lyre and played it with his hand. So Saul was refreshed and was well, and the harmful spirit departed from him.
God sees the Heart -AND-
God controls the circumstances
God did not simply leave David to figure things out on his own. Step by step, God provides David what he needs to accomplish God’s plans.
First and foremost:
God gave David his spirit (v13)
The promise and the presence of God
What makes the biggest difference in David’s life is NOT something that David did. It is something God gave.
Nothing about this story tells us David deserves God’s spirit, or deserves to be chosen. And yet, God freely provides his spirit to David SO THAT David can be changes.
You and I in this room find ourselves in the same place: No matter how much we try, we still go against what God wants from us. The examples before about judging are proof and point. And yet, God doesn’t say “David, you need to figure things out before you can be King”… and he doesn’t say “Kyle, you need to fix your sin before I choose you”.
Instead, he did the opposite. While I was still opposed to God. While I was still stuck in my judgement, my arrogance, my deception, my sin… he sent his Son Jesus to take my place. In doing so, he changed my story- all it takes is me accepting that truth and turning back to Jesus. It is great news.
The best news for us today is that we don’t have to clean up the outside before God can change our character. We have been given the same spirit God gave to David.
The very spirit that God used to transform a shepherd into a King is at work within each of our lives when we place our trust in Jesus
“These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.
God gives more than *just* his spirit: God also provides David with training and experience
Out of everyone in Isreal that could ply the lyre, it is somehow a shepherd from Bethlehem that comes to a servants mind
David is taken into Saul’s court and becomes his armor-bearer
Where better to learn the skills necessary to be a king, than from a king?
What could be seen as “unlikely” or happenstance- is actually God meeting the tangible means for David to accomplish his purpose.
And this isn’t the first time God provision is demonstrated in this passage though: Remember Samuel at the beginning?
God commanded Samuel to go and anoint a new king- yet Saul is still a threat and dangerous
Samuel is concerned that Saul will find out and kill him- which is completely justifiable (Samuel would have needed to literally walk through Saul’s backyard to make it to Bethlehem)
And yet, God provided a reason and a purpose for Samuel to travel safely
The truth of the matter is that where God has Called you, he will be faithful to provide for you.
God uses Authority
God uses Authority
We have finished the story of David, as played out in 1 Samuel 16. So what happens next?
Well, If we flip over to Chapter 17 expecting to see David becoming king… we will be disappointed. Chapter 17 is where David faces goliath.
No big deal, then I am sure that David becomes king in chapter 18. Oh, thats King Saul trying to kill David.
Chapter 19? Saul tries to kill him again.
In fact: It is another 16 chapters before Saul is killed and David becomes King. 15 years!
Even though God has left Saul, and even though he had anointed David to be the next king- David still lived under the authority of King Saul
More surprisingly- David respected that authority, even when given an opportunity to Kill Saul and take the throne himself
He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the Lord’s anointed, to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the Lord’s anointed.” So David persuaded his men with these words and did not permit them to attack Saul. And Saul rose up and left the cave and went on his way.
We are prone to reject authority. *I* am prone to reject authority. Don’t tell me what to do. I am fine, worry about yourself. Who are you to...
How much more would we reject that authority when it is trying to kill you and you have already been selected to replace it
I know how *I* would respond…
The truth is that there are many reasons that God could place authority in our lives. This is especially true in out family dynamics.
In David’s case, it was a GOOD thing that David did not immediately become king. If you read 1 Samuel 25, you will find a story about how David wanted to kill a man and his entire family because that man wouldn’t make David and his men dinner. What would have happened if he had been King? Who would have been able to stop him from exercising is power in such a clearly sinful way?
That story makes it clear that even though he was anointed to rule, David wasn’t READY to rule. At least: Not yet.
Ultimately, David’s time under Saul’s authority was beneficial to him.
In Saul’s court, he learned what it was like to be a king
In Saul’s army, he learned to command men
Under Saul’s rule, David had time and space to learn restraint and wisdom
So where does all of this leave us, in a series on “Family Drama”?
God sees the Heart
God controls the circumstances
God uses Authority
Adults
Get past external generational differences and get to know the heart of the next generation (Gen Z, Millennials)
Show interest. Ask questions. Set aside your “initial judgement” or what cultures tells you about that Generation
What potential can you see in them and how can you encourage their growth?
Tell them! Disciple them
Share stories about God’s faithfulness in your life to a next generation
Allow what God has taught you to help shape them; how has god
Point adversity back to God
Use your authority to train and equip
A baseline question would be: Is your authority beneficial to them?
Youth
Find role models
Identify people in your life who you want to be like. Who’s character matches who you want to be,
Seek out wisdom
Find someone older to learn from. Ask questions. Set aside your “initial judgments”
Trust in God’s control
If God has placed a calling in your life, he will see it through to the end. You don’t need to stress about major life decisions- God will provide.
Submit to Godly authority
Listen to your parents. Learn from them what it means to follow Jesus as an adult.
Let us Pray.