In It But Not Of It

Pastor Jim Laverty

Spring City Fellowship

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How do we maintain Christian and family values in a world that does the opposite?

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I am a pastor in Mountville, PA which is located on the western end of Lancaster County a little before you cross the Susquehanna River on the Route 30 bridge to York County. Our church is part of a group of local churches. The pastors and chaplains in this group collaborate a few times a year during the Easter sunrise and Blue Christmas services. We have been able to focus primarily on loving God and loving others in our community since I joined this group almost five years ago.

Restaurant gathering

Earlier this summer I was leaving a gathering of these pastors and chaplains and I was deeply troubled. A chaplain who is gay invited us all to a meeting sponsored by a local LGBTQ+ group. They were talking to churches about becoming “safe spaces” especially for children who are questioning their gender identity. One of the pastors at the table said that she had plans that evening, but she would be at the meeting.

Pushing stone up hill

Today we are answering the question: How do we maintain Christian family values in a world that does the opposite?

We live in a world that does not see marriage as permanent or that values all human life or affirms the truth and beauty of God’s design of humans created in his image, male and female.

The conundrum that I faced then, and still face today, is: Do I withdraw, or do I stay engaged?

The part of me that avoids conflict wants to send an email to that group saying that I am too busy dealing with my own church to continue to meet with them.

Another part of me thinks about the Bible2School group that we as churches co-sponsored. I participated in that ministry as a small group leader. I saw kids from our local elementary school learning life-changing truths from the Bible; these kids were probably not from a home where Christ is the center.

I am not alone with this dilemma. You may have faced a similar situation at work, at school, or at home in your neighborhood.

Student with mask

Lydia Booth, a third-grade student in the Simpson County School District in Mississippi. Lydia wished to peacefully share her Christian views with her schoolmates by wearing a mask with the message, “Jesus Loves Me” printed on it, but the principal at her school required her to remove and replace it.

Even though she wore the mask without disruption or incident, Lydia was asked to remove and replace her mask. Her school threatened escalating discipline, up to and including suspension.

Two days later, administrators announced a policy that prohibits messages on masks that are “political, religious, sexual or inappropriate symbols, gestures or statements that may be offensive, disruptive or deemed distractive to the school environment.” Various other students and faculty have worn masks with a wide variety of messages, including masks displaying college logos, professional sports team logos, and “Black Lives Matter.”

If masks expressing other beliefs and views were allowed, then “Jesus Loves Me” should have been allowed as well. But School officials had chosen which messages students were allowed to express and which they weren’t.

Pushing stone up hill

What about you? Have you faced anything similar? What did you do? Are you still working it through as I am in my dilemma with the group I am a part of? Maybe you know someone who is dealing with this.

God has not left us without guidance on this question so let us turn to the Bible to see what we can learn about how we maintain Christian family values in a world that does the opposite.

We are going to look briefly at a story from Acts where Paul and Silas had to navigate how to be in the world but not of it in the Roman colony of Philippi. Then, we will turn to Paul’s Letter to the Philippians to see how he encouraged them to be good neighbors whose lives reflected Christ.

Philippi ruins

This is what is left of that colony from that era. So, Paul and Silas in Acts 16:16 were on their way to a prayer meeting in Philippi when they were met by a female slave who had a spirit by which she predicted the future. She earned a great deal of money for her owners by fortune-telling.

Now, Paul and Silas were minding their own business, but this woman was not. She harassed them for days. Or, should I saw the evil spirit inside her harassed them. Finally, Paul got annoyed. He turned around and said to the spirit, “In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!” At that moment the spirit left her.

You may remember, how her owners were upset because their way of making money was gone as soon as the spirit left her. They convinced the local authorities that Paul and Silas were advocating unlawful customs. They said that Paul and Silas were throwing their city into uproar when they were the ones stirring people up. This was all the local authorities needed to be persuaded to have Paul and Silas flogged and put in jail.

Once again Paul and Silas could have kept quiet and minded their own business. Instead, about midnight they were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.

At that moment a violent earthquake shook the foundations of the prison. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose.

This could have been the death of the Philippian jailer who was responsible for keeping all the prisoners in their cells. Instead, he and his family heard the Good News of Jesus Christ from Paul and Silas. They responded by making an open confession of faith in Jesus Christ and they were baptized.

The next morning the local authorities hoped to release Paul and Silas quietly without raising any suspicions. “Go in peace” was the message relayed to them (just like this sign from the Dead Sea).

Go In Peace

Again, Paul and Silas could have kept to themselves and left quietly. Instead, they made a fuss. This is what they said to the officers sent by the local authorities in Acts 16:37: “They beat us publicly without a trial, even though we are Roman citizens, and threw us into prison. And now do they want to get rid of us quietly? No! Let them come themselves and escort us out.”

This provoked the local authorities to action.

They came to appease them and escorted them from the prison, requesting them to leave the city. After Paul and Silas came out of the prison, they met with all those had been transformed by the power of the Good News. This probably included the female slave who had been delivered from the evil spirit, the Philippian jailer and his family and a woman named Lydia and her family who had also been converted. Paul and Silas encouraged them all before leaving for a new destination.

Philippi ruins

Do you see Paul and Silas’ pattern of attitudes and actions in this true story describing their visit to Philippi? They are completely themselves, nothing more and nothing less. From the point they enter the city they are living as Christ-followers who are set apart from the world.

At the same time, they are living life as mission: praying, making friends, following the nudges of the Spirit, confronting evil in the unseen realm and the visible realm, too; preventing people from harming themselves, sharing the hope they have in Christ, baptizing and taking a stand against injustice.

They model for us what it means to be in the world but not of it.

Restaurant manager

We just hired a Bible study leader for our youth who is in college. As we for our students to get to know him, we asked him to share about his experience in making real what he already believed. He told them about working as an assistant manager of a restaurant. His intent was to point people to Jesus. It was the comment of a co-worker who had worked with him for a while that made him realize that he was an undercover Christian. They said, “You don’t come across as someone who is deeply involved in church.” This was the jolt he needed to more intentionally live out his faith in front of others.

Face in a crowd

The meaning of being in the world but not of it is easily confused. The Ins and Outs of It by John Fischer shows how confused it has become:

“In it, not of it,” the statement was made

As Christian One faced the world, much afraid.

“In it, not of it,” the call was made clear,

But Christian One got something stuck in his ear.

“Not in it, or of it,” was the thing that he heard.

And knowing the world was painfully absurd,

He welcomed the safety of pious retreat,

And went to the potluck for something to eat.

Now Christian Two, he knew what to do,

He'd show those fundies a thing or two!

How will the world ever give Christ a try

If we don't get in there and identify?

So “In it, and of it,” he said in his car,

As he pulled in and stopped at a popular bar.

“I'll tell them the truth as soon as I'm able

To get myself out from under this table.”

While way up in heaven they lament these conditions

That come from changing a few prepositions.

“Not in it, or of it,” Christian One thought.

But who in the world will know that he's not?

“In it, and of it,” thought Christian Two.

But who in the world will know that he knew?

And Jesus turns to Gabriel, shaking His head.

“‘In it, not of it,’ wasn't that what I said?”

Set of Pipes

We are to be pipes, not buckets! Allowing the blessings God pours out on us, as well as the healing from pain we have experienced, to flow through us!

My wife, Wendy, and I have our own story with grief. We know what it is like to pray for healing and for that prayer to be answered by God taking a loved one home. After doing our own grief work with others, we began a GriefShare group for people in our church and our community with another couple. Our hearts were enlarged by grief so that we could identify with others who had experienced loss. We became wounded-healers, in the process. I would never have chosen what we had to live through but I have seen God redeem it in order to show his love to others who hurt.

After Paul and Silas had been beaten and imprisoned for healing the female slave, the first thing they did when they were released was to encourage the fledgling group of believers in Philippi.

Encourage word in tiles

What did they say or do to encourage them?

We don’t know but we can guess by reading Paul’s words to them in his letter.

Turn with me to Philippians chapter two.

Paul writes in verses 1 & 2: Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

Set of Pipes

Paul encouraged the Philippians to be pipes. Anywhere they had received strength and comfort from their life in Christ they were to have the same attitude and the same love, living in harmony, and keeping one purpose in mind.

Because they had experienced so many positive benefits from being in Christ, they were to be united.

United in what, though?

United in living a life that reflected their faith and spreading the good news regarding salvation through faith in Christ.

Campfire gathering

He goes on to tell them how they are to live life as mission in verse 5, In your relationships with one another.

An Amish man in Lancaster was giving some tourists a buggy ride when out of nowhere they asked him, “Are you a Christian?” I thought his response was interesting. He said, “You would have to ask my neighbors to know the answer to that question.”

His response reminds me of the song They Will Know We Are Christians by Our Love. The words to the first verse are:

We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord

And we pray that our unity will one day be restored

And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love

Yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love

What does this look like?

In verse five, he ways, we are to have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.

And what is that mindset?

Jesus washing Peter’s feet

It is a mindset of humility. We see how Jesus modeled humility in verses 6-11. Jesus humbled Himself under God’s mighty hand. And God at the right time lifted him up.

Paul tells the Philippians how they are to adopt this mindset in verses 3 and 4, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

How do we maintain Christian family values in a world that does the opposite?

Dare to be different.

Do not try to prove you are better than others.

Do not be proud of yourself.

But that’s hard, you say.

You are right. It does not come naturally.

Woman holding her nose

Carey Nieuwhof, founder of Connexus Church in Ontario, Canada, writes that there are three things that Christians do that non-Christians despise. One, we judge. Two minutes on social media will reveal Christians and preachers condemning unchurched people for their sexual habits and preferences, life-style choices and even political views. Two, we are hypocritical. Christians pretend to be something they are not. Three, we stink at friendship. Relatively few Christians actively pursue meaningful friendships with people who don’t share their faith. Often when Christians do pursue ‘friendships’ with people far from God, it’s more of a project than it is a friendship. People can smell it a mile away if we see them as a project, not a person.

Ouch!

Finger-pointing

I can see myself in each of those indictments against Christians. I am quick to point out the speck in someone else’s eye while ignoring the log in mine. When I am in a hurry my impulse is to drive aggressively which is why, like Carey Nieuwhof, I don’t have a fish on my car. The last thing some person God loves needs to see is a Christian cut him or her off. I lack authentic relationships with non-Christians. And, I have seen and treated people as a means to an end.

Juan Galloway, formerly of NYC Relief, told a bunch of us that we ought to share our own stories of brokenness when we ran into homeless people. We were participating in the annual Don’t Walk By campaign which provides a safe, welcoming and, most importantly, warm place for people living on the streets of NYC. Juan said that it was important to not only get to know the names and the stories of the people we met. We needed to be real with them. Tell them something about ourselves that said, “I am broken, too.”

Pointing at self

How many of us know that owning our sin is different than living in it? How many of recognize that confession is never an excuse for complacency?

After urging the Philippians to pursue humility, he nudges them to model godly character in private andin public in verses 12 & 13, Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Person on stage peeking out

Who we are when no one else is around is what Paul is talking about in verse 12. It is easy to manage our image when we are in front of others who are in Christ. Not so easy when we are not.

A young dad who works as a machinist told me that he struggles to take a stand for Christ when he is around his workmates. Their course joking, foul language and put-downs make it hard for him to join in when they are on a break.

Farmer planting

Thankfully, maintaining Christian family values in a world that does the opposite is not up to us alone. Just as a farmer needs to prepare the ground for rain, we have a part and God has a part. We cooperate with God in the process of being made like Christ.

Earlier in Philippians Paul said he was confident that the Holy Spirit who began a good work in us would carry it on to completion until Jesus returns. We have inside help when we are addressing patterns of thinking, acting and attitudes that need shaping and forming.

One way we do that is to surround ourselves with people who are going to encourage us to seek hard after God. Do you have people like that in your life? Someone who is hungry. And when you are around them, they rub off on you.

Feet on a chair

Trying to influence a group of friends of are dragging you down is like standing on top of a chair while trying to pull them up onto the chair, too. It is far easier for them to pull you off the chair than for you to pull them up onto the chair. If we keep company with people who bring out the bad in us, we will become just like them.

Does that mean we should not associate with them? No, because we read in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10, I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world.

We are to associate with people who do not share Christ-centered values while at the same time, we read in James 1:27, keeping ourselves unstained by the world.

Truck drivers

While we lived in Spain, I got to know a truck driver in our church named Valero who had been in the Lord for a short time. He told me that he had learned when he stopped to eat lunch with other truckers that he discovered something. If his faith in Christ was mentioned in the group usually it was so that they could poke fun at him. However, if another driver approached him individually it was usually because he was genuinely interested in hearing Valero’s testimony. They had seen the difference that Jesus had made in his life and they wanted to know more.

After humility and godly character, we maintain Christian family values by how we talk. Do everything without grumbling or arguingis Paul’s charge to the Philippians, and to us, in verse 14. Your words show what is in your heart, we read in Luke 6:45.

A.R. Bernard

A.R. Bernard is the pastor of the Christian Cultural Center Megachurch in Brooklyn, New York. Last month I heard him speak about how he has used words to build bridges with people in government and business and leaders of other faiths (like Islam which was his faith until he read the Bible and discovered who Jesus is). Bernard knows that Christians live in a society where the culture is antagonistic towards what they believe in.

Yet, he uses words that are informed by principles from the Bible to influence people. The very people who are shaping society at large.

This is how he describes what he does: “You do what Jesus did. He went around building relationships, and through those relationships you can influence what goes on… Government is people. If you can influence people, you can influence government.”

Words have Power

Words are powerful. They can build up or tear down.

Lately, I have become more negative in my talk at home. My wife, Wendy, pointed this out to me. So, what I am seeking to do is to follow Ephesians 4:29, which says, When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.

I tend to say whatever is on my mind so watching my talk means thinking before I speak. If I don’t have anything good to say, I am to keep it to myself. If Wendy wouldn’t have pointed this out to me I don’t think it would be on my radar.

Who is it who will help you to use your words to build up rather than tear down?

Strong current

Sometimes just the thought of maintaining Christian family values in a world that does the opposite is wearisome. We feel like we are swimming against the current. What is needed so that we drift downstream is to remember our destination.

Losing your way is easy to do. Some years ago my best friend’s sister was graduating from Smith College in Northampton, Massachusetts. Everybody was sitting waiting for the ceremony to begin. The only problem is my best friend was not there. They later learned that he had the wrong destination. He was in North Hampton, New Hampshire!

Pathway

We need to remember our destination.

And what is our destination?

Look at verses 15-16a, So that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.

What a picture of being a breath of fresh air in a world that is choking on its own pollution. By God’s grace at work in us, we can provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. We do this by going out into the world uncorrupted so that no one can speak a word of blame against us. We are to shine out among like beacon lights.

How do we do this?

We live life as mission in our relationships.

Humility, etc.

By adopting a mindset of humility which we see Jesus doing in the Gospels.

Modeling godly character in private and public with the support and encouragement of others.

Using our words to build up rather than tear down by thinking before we speak.

Set of Pipes

We are to be pipes, not buckets! This is how we live life as mission. Allowing the blessings God pours out on us, as well as the healing from pain we have experienced, to flow through us! Listen to how Jesus did just that for our sakes in Philippians 2:6-8.

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!

As we come to the Lord’s Table, remember with us that he lowered himself. He did so, in order that we, his bride, might live in the light and shine like stars in the heavens. Remember…

(On) the night when (the Lord Jesus) was betrayed he took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” Take, eat, this is Christ’s body which is broken for you. (Eat the bread.)

In the same way he took the cup also, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” Drink all of it, this is Christ’s blood poured out for the forgiveness of your sins. (Drink the cup.)

Listen to what God the Father did in Philippians 2:9-11 after Jesus humbled himself to the point of death,

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Pray with me that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead will flow through us, like pipes, to our neighbors, classmates, co-workers and families.