Stressful Joy or Joyful Stress
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So what causes the most stress or fear in people’s lives...
see if you can guess what type of fear this is:
Claustrophobia—fear of enclosed spaces. How many of you feel that? I was with a group of pastors from our region in the Missionary Church, and as our group bonding time we had to do an escape room—where they put you in a room and a “fun” scenario and you have 1 hour to escape by working together and solving problems. The only problem was we were in a 8 x 10 room with 8 adults! I am not usually claustrophic—but that added to the anxiety.
Here’s another one…entomophobia---fear of insects. they are small, and they crawl, and the creep, and they sometimes bite…and they look so weird. A cicada landed on me the other day I will working outside and I did a pretty crazy dance in my yard just to get it off, and then I was more afraid if anyone saw me move.
acrophobia—is a fear…of heights. how many of you have that…you get on a ladder, go on a roof, and your heart starts racing, your blood starts pumping, you might get dizzy and can hardly move...
trypanophobia — fear of needles...
glossophobia—fear of public speaking…how many have that? heart starts racing, your stomach hurts, you start sweating in all the wrong places....I get nervous every week before I preach—my hands start sweating and get kind of cold and clammy—so if you shake my hand before I preach and think your hands are cold and sweaty—I was kind of excited when we had fist bumps.
balconaphobia—fear of balconies…and just so you can 80% of words are made up.
not to mention social fear—and social anxiety—there’s a lot of you that tell me that even just coming to church—can produce a lot of anxiety because you have to
as interesting or funny as these terms are—fear and stress and anxiety are no laughing matters.
particularly over the last year...
I heard a stat at a leadership conference. Dr. Henry Cloud—famous for his book “Boundaries...” he said pre-pandemic—15 - 17% of American adults could be diagnosed with some type of psychiatric diagnosis—like depression or anxiety, but now—he says it is probably closer to 40%! 40%!
Stress and anxiety can take a toll: according to one medical researcher: It can suppress your immune system, upset your digestive and reproductive systems, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, and speed up the aging process. It can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
Some of us are just stressed after we hear that.
But in all seriousness…there are significant moments in life that cause stress...
for instance:
Death of a loved one.
Divorce.
Major illness or injury.
job loss.
moving...
change...
not enough money (btw—take financial peace university one of our Wednesday night groups)
not to mention—everything right now—again—feels a little weird. As much as we don’t want to admit it—the pandemic is not done.
so what do we do?
Philippians 4:1-9 — would you stand.
1 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!
2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.
3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
there is some stress going on in Paul’s life right now—he is in jail, possibly even chained to a Roman guard 24/7—he has been waiting for trial, and unknown future for a long time.
and there is stress in the Philippian churches’ life.
we learned earlier that they were suffering—chapter 1. so Paul says it has been granted to you (by God) to believe but also to suffer.
and we learn here there is conflict.
particularly between 2 women.
vs. 2
2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.
remember—this letter back then would have been read out loud in front of the entire house church. Paul is calling the them out.
AWKWARD!
we don’t know why they were arguing. but Paul felt it necessary—the situation was so urgent—and it must have been affecting the entire church—you could feel the tension—the he urges them 2x....to be of the same mind IN THE LORD.
and in verse 3 — we learn that these are great women.
3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.
they have contended at Paul’s side in the cause of the gospel…they are dedicated, committed, passionate women for Christ.
why can’t they get along? don’t they both love Jesus?
do you know why they can’t get along?
b/c they are PEOPLE!
You throw people together—you have conflict and differing opinions.
If you have a best friend or you are married you know this.
If you don’t have conflict in marriage, you probably are not communicating. you will have conflict—the issue is how you respond and handle it.
even churches face it.
One seasoned pastor says this after he took his first pastoral job:
Philippians for You Chapter 12: Conflict Management (Philippians Chapter 4 Verses 1–5)
The most practical course I took while I was studying at seminary was named “Conflict Management.” But I still began my first pastorate unprepared for what awaited me. Hidden from my initial sight, I stepped into a church that was full of conflict at every level. There was relational conflict, doctrinal strife, philosophical differences, leadership unrest, and financial pressures. For someone raised in a home without drama, this was a crash course in the difficulties of dealing with difficult people.
I have heard from one missionary that the #1 reason missionaries leave the mission field is…b/c of other missionaries on the field.
and you can add conflict to another huge stressor and cause of anxiety in people’s lives.
and yet amidst their suffering and conflict—Paul says in verse 4.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
maybe Paul had Euodia in mind first—REJOICE!
or Synteche — REJOICE!
like a parent...
joy is not optional.
it is a command—2x—that we are to have joy....
and this btw—doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge pain or deny it. you don’t just grit your teeth or bear it. Scripture, especially the psalms model us to process our pain with the Lord and others—acknowledge it.
in addition we have been defining joy as a deep and durable delight in the Lord. it’s deep…it’s durable…and it’s in the Lord…that such joy is possible and even commanded—that’s how much the Lord wants us to have joy.
How do we deal not just with conflict—but stress and anxiety so that we can really have joy.
my goal is not to address conflict management as much —but the stress and anxiety we face in life.
BTW—if you have conflict—you can see some tips.
vs. 1—Paul calls them dearly beloved—that person you are disagreeing with is dearly loved...
vs. 2 — they are to agree in the Lord—the Lord is their common ground, especially if you have conflict with another person. as you submit and surrender to the Lord—He enables you to make amends with others—to humble yourself, to confess your sin and the effect you had on another person and to ask for forgiveness.
vs. 3—you may need a mediator as Paul asks a 3rd party to get involved.
vs. 3—and remember—those these 2 women strongly disagree but their names are written in the book of Life.
vs. 5 - says be gentle....gentleness sounds meek and mild—and WIMPY! but it is a mark of the Holy Spirit—it is fruit that the Spirit is working in your life. “b/c a gentle answer turns away wrath—but a harsh word stirs up anger!” gentleness takes incredible strength in the Lord—b/c it’s easy to react not with gentleness during stress, anxiety and conflict…and to just blow up—but if you are under the control of the Holy Spirit—yes conflict will be stressful but you are loved by God, treasured and cherished by God—I can be gentle.
gentleness does not equal wimpiness or meekness or not speaking up or being aggressive. but it is a settledness in the very core of your being that doesn’t always demand your rights.
in fact if you watched out student interview last week—these big football players—it takes gentleness to really play football. b/c anyone can be aggressive—but if you are gentle then if you take an illegal hit or a guy is being a jerk to you—you are not defined by that. You can call it out without over-reacting and getting in a fight.
so how do we have joy amidst stress-or joyful stress or stressful joy.
btw—I am not addressing every angle—but focusing mainly on you and your relationship with God. you may need to get help—see a Christian counselor or a pastor—do it. you may need to see a psychiatrist—and be on medication for a season or a long time—no shame in those.
but this text is a big part of the ongoing solution in our lives.
#1 Pray
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
look at this verse so carefully...
do not be anxious—that word is mainly negative in the NT...
but it can also be positive—in 2:20—it describes Timothy’s concern—so it can be a good thing—when you are concerned for others and burdened for others.
but here in the negative sense—it means to be divided; to be torn apart. It’s used when Jesus says, therefore I tell you “do not worry about your life what you will eat or your body what you will wear...”
it’s used of Martha in the story of Mary and Martha—where Martha is upset and worried about so many things—and Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet.
Paul says that your anxiety—is actually an occasion for prayer.
what?
my anxiety is a time to worry
it’s a time to complain
and be overwhelmed
and think of all the worst things that could happen. I am great at playing the “What if” game—what if this happens.
Paul says—don’t go there…but pray comprehensively
he uses a lot of words for prayer—including
prayer—a general encompassing word of praying to God and for others
petition—there is a urgency to it in pleading before God.
thanksgiving — all prayer is marked by this—b/c God is still good. thanksgiving helps us do all things without grumbling or arguing. He is still reigning and on the throne.
presenting requests - means giving God what you need
the type of anxiety described here is consuming yet it describes an opportunity for prayer.
and in verse 7—a promise is giving
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
this is not an in if—but a promise.
this peace that God grants—is an inner calm.
it doesn’t always mean he will give you all the answers you want or the path and circumstances you want--
but he does promise peace. as we pray, and petition, and give thanks and present to God—he grants us peace.
part of this peace—is just Himself. vs. 9—describes Him as the God of peace.
peace is not just the absence of anxiety but the presence of wholeness and well-being in your soul and also eventually around you with God, and others.
and if you apply it to conflict with Euodia and Syntche — they needed that peace so they could have peace with each other.
this peace will GUARD THEM. it is a military term. describing a soldier who watches over a prisoner. Paul was being guarded by a prisoner—but he had a better guard. God’s peace—it will guard His heart so nothing can enter it!
this peace is found in Jesus.
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
so do you have this kind of peace?
have you prayed?
#2 Think (vs. 8)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
If you go to most book stores (which seems almost out of date to say that) or if you google books and articles about relieving stress.
Listen to what they say.
exercise
eat right
take vitamins
say no to things
take deep breaths
empty your mind, relaxation
these are all good things btw
but one huge factor is your thought life—your thoughts and beliefs. b/c you can’t control circumstances—but what you are thinking about—you have much more opportunity to control.
so to have joyful stress or stressful joy—the goal is not to ultimately distract ourselves from it or empty our minds—but to think differently.
that word for think—is a mathematical word—to calculate. to deeply consider.
whenever you solve a math problem—for the average person it takes concentration, deliberation…you must focus and think.
and the same is true here—each word is significant—true, noble, right, pure, lovely admirable—this is a checklist—what are you thinking about?
what are you feeding your thoughts—because thoughts become beliefs that become truths in our soul—that causes perception, emotions, and reactions...
what we feed our thoughts with matters...
what we watch matters
what we focus on matters
what we consume with our eyes matters...
what have you been focused on—and thinking on--
the average american adult spends over 3 hours per day on a mobile device—it’s probably more the younger you are.
and then social media—guess how much time the average American spends on social media 2 hours and 24 minutes...
and its’ not usually all at once… “I posted something, let’s just see how many likes I got...” “Let’s see what’s going on in someone else’ life...” “Let
instead we are to think about these things—and you know who is the most truthful, noble, lovely, excellent, praiseworthy thing or being—God.
#3 Pray and Think by keeping your eyes on Jesus. (vs. 4, 8-9
look at verse 4.
Philippians 4:4 (NIV)
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 4:9 (NIV)
9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
i.
And here is how you focus on Christ…think of what he did to give us peace from fear and anxiety.
ii. He experienced a total loss of peace.
1. In the Garden of Gethsemane, before he went on trial and to the cross, he prayed, and his sweat was like drops of blood. In the Garden he said, if it is possible Father, take this cup from me, but not my will but yours be done. Even there before he went to the cross, he was starting to lose his peace because he was about to bear the weight of our sin, of guilt, and shame on the cross in our place, though he did not deserve it and we did! If Jesus can be stressed out and not sin—so can we—Hebrews 12 said he still had joy through this. Jesus can relate to you...
i say this b/c sometimes we feel bad, and then we feel bad for feeling bad—don’t go there—but pray and think about Jesus who sweat drops of blood for you and the glory of His Father.
who can relate to you.
2. think of the cross, while he was hanging there, suffering, experiencing the worst pain, he cried out “My God my God why have you forsaken me!” in that moment, he was losing his intimacy with the Father because he who knew no sin became sin for us. In that moment, he bore all the penalty for our sin, and the Father whom he had been one with for eternity, turned his faced away.
iii. Tim Keller describes that anytime we lose the loss of a loved one—whether someone breaks up with us, or someone dies, it is so painful. We understand that one level—but we can’t describe what the Son did by losing the loss of love from His Father in that one moment! He bore the weight of sin—the guilt was an infinite debt and yet he bore it!
He bore the infinite weight of sin—he lost all his peace, so we can have peace.
look at vs. 8 (replacing whatever with “Jesus”
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
response time:
I can’t say enough how these verses have been my personal go-to verses over the last year and a half.
I have felt personally more concern and anxiety than ever before in this last year—from a leadership perspective and decision making perspective—it felt weighty—and it still feels weighty at times. b/c my biggest concern is unity—I hate seeing marriages divided, families divided, schools divided, churches divided, a community divided, over it seemed like EVERYTHING.
part of my response was at the encouragement of my wife—seeing a Christian counselor—oh I would highly, highly recommend that.
and then also these verses were a lifeline—where when I feel my anxiety increase—Philippians 4:6 is on repeat—do not be anxious anything—Richard. but in everything—including this situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
In the moment, I have to cry out to the Lord; I have to cling to the Lord. I have to pray. I have to focus on God—not let my thoughts go crazy…and play the what if game...
I have to thank the Lord—and focus on Him.
I encourage you—we have an invitation through the worst moments of life—whatever they are to fall on Jesus.
this is why it is so important—to begin and end each day focused on Jesus in some way...
battle time...
would you take a moment and pray…in fact, would you mind just getting on your knees
thanking God...
prayer and petition and surrender everything to God.
now would you think about how amazing Jesus is...
Plug at the end for baptisms...