Mariage
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Intro & Opening
Intro & Opening
WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS!
Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you
Hey that’s not me talking, that is word for word straight out of the bible.
But what does this MEAN????
These verses have been 2 of the most abused or misinterpreted passages of the Bible.
Today we are going to talk about what a healthy marriage should look like and healthy marrage roles, according to scpture.
I feel, as I am sure most married pastors do, inadequate to speak about this ESPECIALLY with my wife sitting in the sanctuary.
These are things I am always working on and there are times I fail miserably at at times. I apologize when I need too and I try to do better as I grow. I am also preaching this 2 weeks before our 15th wedding anniversary.
Main Point
Main Point
Marriage is about equally Loving and Respecting each other
Why Does it Matter
Why Does it Matter
If we don’t understand this we risk alienating our partner and becomming abused or abusive. It can also injure our witness if we get this wrong and live this way to the world.
Scripture
Scripture
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
21 - notice it says to submit to each other to honour Christ
We NEED to start here.
So often we miss this short passage
This passage is NOT about domination and control. It is about mutual respect and submission to one another out of love for each other and Christ.
Traditionally this passage has been used to support a dominant husband and a submissive wife but that is not what is being stated here. Infact that would be an unhealthy relationship.
Then they would point back to this passage in Genesis to show the woman was meant to help the man.
Husbands and wives have always been meant to be complementing each other or supporting each other thay are a team.
looking at the word “helper” in genesis 2:18 as a lesser role ini the relationship is a huge mistake. I am going to talk a little bit about a hebrew word for a minute.
Ezer - Helper or one who helps
Ezer occurs twenty-one times in the Old Testament. Twice it is used to describe the first woman. Three times it is used of people helping (or failing to help) in life-threatening situations. Sixteen times it is used in reference to God as a helper. Without exception, these texts are talking about a vital, urgent, powerful kind of help.
NOT a submissive follower…
The whole purpose of the Creation of Eve narrative in Genesis 2:21-24 is to emphasise the unity and mutuality of man and woman. To read it any other way is to miss the point and distort its meaning and purpose. A significant part of the first woman was “taken out” of the first human (Gen. 2:23b). Before her creation, Eve was already a part of Adam in some way. When Adam looked at his new partner, he exclaimed that she was “flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone!” This is a profound expression of similarity and equality. There is no hierarchy here. But to further emphasise the point, verse 24 says that when a husband and wife join in marriage, they become one flesh, a point which Jesus also highlighted (Matt. 19:4-5; Mark 10:6-7). God’s ideal at creation was that man and woman be equal and rule over nature (and not each other) together (Gen. 1:26-28). Mutuality, or equality, is also God’s ideal in the New Creation which, as his redeemed children, we are already a part of.
Another strong part of this discussion is Genesis 3:16
To the woman he said,
“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.”
This is a change in the order.
Think about it… why would God have to say NOW THIS HAS CHANGED if it was the way it was from the beginning.
It wasn’t. At their creation Adam and Eve were equal partners who worked together. No domination.
But God said that this is how it is now… right? So shouldn’t we follow that? He changed the order of things. Wives NEED to submit to their husbands because God said so.
NO! When Jesus died he died to release us from the power and the effects of Sin in our lives. We may still live in a fallen world but we are to live our lives as free as we can! That includes the effects of the fall.
The division that happened between men and women at the fall were consequences /results of the fall NOT a curse.
The curse was on the serpent and the earth
So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,
“Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head,
and you will strike his heel.”
To the woman he said,
“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.”
To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.”
The curse was the serpent and the ground not Adam and Eve.
So all that is SOOOOOO IMPORTANT to frame the rest of our main passage in Ephesians 5:21-33.
22 - Submit to your husband as you would to the LORD
23 - For the husband is the head of the house
24 - Submit like the Church to Jesus
How do we submit to Jesus?
We follow him
We act like him
We talk to him
We make him lord of our lives, meaning that when he speaks we need to listen.
Keeping in mind we still have a choice to listen or not.
Remembering that your husband is NOT the perfect Son of God…Right Sandra?
When you hear this it must feel weird to think about. but we HAVE to read this in the context of what God wanted for His Children.
Plus look at the criteriea for the husband
25 - Husbands give everything for your wives like Jesus gave for the Church
26 - Help her to grow
27 - Guard her purity
28 - Love your wife the same way you want to be loved
29 - We care for our budy we should care for our wife
Love your wife the way Christ loved teh Church.
How did he love teh Church?
HE GAVE EVERYTHING FOR IT!
It is a partnership
There is NO ROOM for selfish desires nor is there anywhere that is says man is the BOSS!!!
Infact the last part says Love her the way you want to be loved. Talk to her the way you want to be taken care of.
30 - We are members of the body of God
31 - Genesis
32 - The marriage relationship represents our relationship with Jesus
33 - Love and respect - Marriage is about cooperation and love and respect.
Application
Application
I have done premarital counselling a few times now and roles are important.
The application here is that we are to submit to each other and care for each other above all things. We are to be concerned for each other above ourselves.
Closing
Closing
Husbands and wives are a TEAM deisgned to walk this world together as such!