3a The Christian Life Means Loving Until It Hurts

Stand Firm: Living in a Post-Christian Culture  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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How often do we hear about love in our society? Our world talks about it all the time. But the more they talk about Love, the less it seems as if they actually know what they are talking about. And they absolutely do not understand what divine love is or how it functions.
Even worse this view of Love has infected the church today. For example, how many in hear have heard a pastor or some church describe their mission as “we want to just love on people.” On its face that is true, and sounds wonderful. But what does that look like? What do they actually mean by love on people? In the church today what that often means nothing more than surface level, superficial interactions. What it practically means in many churches is, “We don’t want to make people uncomfortable. We just accept you as you are.” This is often nothing more than a platitude as they settle for a vague sense of acceptance that is not grounded in biblical truth. They skirt difficult topics, or blatantly skip the penetrating and convicting truths of the bible opting instead for whatever inoffensive common ground they can find. They have mastered the technique of sounding loving without having to say anything of substance.
Does that sound like real love to you? It certainly doesn’t to me, it sounds more like pacification. Real love, the kind we ought to be cultivating in the church, has nothing to do with superficial emotion, sentimentality, false peace, or changeable affection. Love does not settle momentary happiness or a shallow sense of unity. Real Love, biblical love, isn’t interested in temporary satisfaction; it has eternal goals in mind. It is concerned with another persons well-being, godliness, and spiritual growth. In fact, love is willing to confront when necessary. It will risk alienating another person’s affection for the sake of ultimate spiritual good. I would also add that real love doesn’t worry about temporal or worldly costs, it’s ready to expend itself for the good of the believer and the glory of God.
In other words, real love means being willing to love until it hurts.

Sacrificial Love

Loving until it hurts means loving others enough to serve them sacrificially. We find a perfect example of this kind of love in John chapter 13.
John 13:1–5 ESV
1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. 2 During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
We are all familiar with this passage right? We will explore this tonight, but I think we often miss out on some of the significance of this event because we don’t always see how this event fits into the overall story. So where does this fit? Turn with me to Matthew chapter 20 please so we can set the foot washing into its historical context. In Matthew 20 we find Jesus and the disciples heading to Jerusalem for the Passover Feast. On the way, Christ prophesied for the third time his imminent death. Which brings us to this point. Matthew 20.
Matthew 20:20–23 ESV
20 Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. 21 And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” 22 Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” 23 He said to them, “You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”
What is happening here?
This seems to be the favorite pastime of the disciples, arguing with one another over who would be the greatest in the Kingdom. All of this despite the fact that they had a front row seat to the ministry and miracles of Jesus public ministry and the regardless of the intimate relationship they had with Jesus. They were often preoccupied with their own well-being, their own prosperity, and their future. In fact they were so concerned with this James and John enlisted their mother talk to Jesus about it. Can you imagine the unmitigated audacity of James and John here?
What was the result of this situation?
Matthew 20:24 ESV
24 And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers.
The rest of the disciples were furious about this. But I want to be clear they were not upset about the gross breach spiritual integrity. No they were mad because they thought they were being crowded out by the request. They were mad because of their own selfish desires.
Matthew 20:25–28 ESV
25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Jesus then goes on to explain that he was about to give his life as a ransom for many.
Anyone want to guess how the disciples responded to this? Where they significantly humbled?
No they were indifferent to His words and they continued to jockey for position in the kingdom right up to the night of Christ’s betrayal and arrest.
But this is the scene that we find John 13 set in. So lets look at those verses again a little more closely:
John 13:1 ESV
1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
Think about that verse for a second. The Disciples just proved how immature and ugly they really were. But here we see Christ looking past their pettiness, their indifference and pride. The Sovereign, saving, eternal God looked beyond all of that and loved them until the end. That is really the first point of this section of John, Christ loved the disciples to the fullest, to the absolute maximum of His divine capacity.
The passage then goes on to display how Jesus displayed that love.
John 13:2–5 ESV
2 During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
Talk about the background of feet washing:
They reclined when they ate
Sandals so feet were dirty
lowest slave in the house did this
On this particular evening, no servant had been provided to wash the feet. If we think about the run up to this story we can say for sure that none of the disciples were going to take on the task. In spite of the years spent in brotherhood, each of them apparently believed they were above the level of one who would stoop so low as to wash the others feet. So what does Jesus do, he takes it upon himself to undertake the task and in so doing teaches a valuable lesson to the disciples. Think about this scene, the Son of God himself, stood up from the table, grabbed the necessary implements and humbly began washing the disciples feet.
John 13:6–7 ESV
6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.”
Look at Peters response here. I think it is safe to say that Peter’s reaction would be indicative of the other disciples. Peter could not appreciate the gravity of the situation; in all honestly none of them could. Christ demonstrating His humility, not merely as one Man washing another’f feet but as the Lord and creator of the universe who had come to seek and save the lost. Washing the disciples feet was an outward manifestation of the humiliation Christ had already endured and would continue to endure all the way to the Cross.
John 13:8 ESV
8 Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.”
Few people have the audacity to command the sovereign Lord of heaven, but Peter was one of them. He had no compunction about telling the Lord exactly what he should do. “You shall never wash my feet.”
John 13:9–11 ESV
9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” 10 Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you.” 11 For he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, “Not all of you are clean.”
Realizing he made a mistake Peter quickly changed his tune and asked Jesus to wash his hands and head as well. Jesus reply is super interesting to me. The One who has bathed...
None of us would take a full bath when we get our hands dirty would we? In the same way, believers don’t require the complete cleansing and regeneration of new birth every time they sin. Once the righteousness of Christ has been imputed to us we need only the washing of the Spirit's sanctifying work that goes on throughout the believers life.
Also look that Jesus noted that not all of them were clean, He singled out Judas by implication. Jesus knew the hearts of his disciples. He knew Peter’s impulsive passion and that his beloved disciple would deny him three times later that evening. In the same way he knew Judas would soon betray Him and that even as he sat at the table, his heart already belonged to Satan. And yet, Jesus stooped to wash His betrayers feet as well.
Now lets look at the rest of the story
John 13:12–16 ESV
12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
In other words, Jesus was telling them, “if you are not willing to get down and do the most abject kind of service on behalf of someone else, if you’re not willing to take on the lowest role of a slave and wash someone else’s feet, then you are effectively saying you are superior to Me.” Christ’s words would have pierced their consciences. They should pierce ours as well. Do we readily humble ourselves to meet the needs of others? Or do we harbor the prideful notion that we’re above that kind of service— that someone else will take care of it? Jesus made it clear that if we think we’re too good to serve others, what we’re really saying is that we’re better than Him.
On the other hand, our readiness to humbly serve and lovingly sacrifice is a testimony to our Savior. Christ Himself makes that point explicit: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13: 34– 35). We need to follow the example of Jesus and be willing to set aside our prominence and pride to serve sacrificially those we see in need. Loving until it hurts means sacrificing yourself for the sake of others.
We need to cultivate that same humility and willingness to expend and sacrifice ourselves for others. We must be ready to give up our time, our priorities, our social standing, our comfort, and even our lives in care for others. When we see people who need their proverbial feet washed, we should leap at the opportunity. Loving until it hurts means loving others enough to sacrifice everything we have, including ourselves.