The Adventure of Fatherhood

Notes
Transcript

Fathers are the shepherd

So many times in scripture, Christ is referred to as the Shepherd of the Church. We, the ones who have accepted Christ are the sheep that Christ shepherds.
Sheep as an animal has very little to protect it against predators. This is the reason the domesticated sheep need a shepherd. We think mainly of the shepherd as the protector of the flock, but there was so much else they did for their sheep. The shepherd was also responsible for leading the flock. They were responsible for finding a good place for them the feed and have ample water for drinking. They also had to find a place where the could rest and sleep for the night. We can also look at our fathers as being the shepherd of our families.
Proverbs 22:6 ESV
6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
So what does this scripture mean?
Train up a child?
It means we should be teaching them the actions or the life that would please God.
Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
What was it the Israelites were supposed to be teaching their children?
Deuteronomy 6:5 ESV
5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was by a lawyer (also known as a scribe), this was the one of the ones He told those who were there. It was the first, but there was a second as well.
Mark 12:30–31 ESV
30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Matthew 22:37–40 ESV
37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
All the Law and the Prophets were based on these two commandments. While this sermon is directed towards fathers and the roles we play in our children’s lives, think about the impact we would have on the world as Christians if all of our actions were based off of these two commandments. The change we would be making would be radical.
If we as fathers, would show the compassion which is shown in these commandments when we are rearing our children, training them up in the way the Lord would have us, how would it change what we are currently doing.

Obstacles for your children and you

With what I’ve just shared with what Jesus called the greatest commandment, we have a huge undertaking just from those. But then with the temptations Satan will put in front of us as well, the role we play in our children’s lives can become even more daunting.
There are so many scripture that talks about temptations and how God will provide a way out for us if we are not strong enough to stand against it.
We have the example Jesus set for us in facing temptation Matthew Chapter 4. Three times Satan tried to get Him to fall, the Son of God. He will do this to us as well.
Hebrews 4:15 ESV
15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
1 Corinthians 10:12–13 ESV
12 Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

We will not be perfect

We will fall short. We will miss the mark. That is guaranteed.
Romans 3:23 ESV
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
We all will give into sin even after we are saved and become Christ-followers, we will have our times when we make wrong choices and decisions. Look at the disciples who were actually with Jesus and spent time with Him. They still faltered. Why would we think we wouldn’t?
However, even when we fail and make wrong choices, there is still so much we can teach our kids. The way we handle ourselves in these situations can show our kids the grace our heavenly Father has towards us.
When we show our kids how to pick yourself back up after a failure, we demonstrate to them how we can move forward from failure.
It is through the grace and forgiveness God has granted us we are able to come before His throne with confidence.
Ephesians 2:8 ESV
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
When we show our kids this through our own lives in seeking forgiveness from God, our wives, maybe even our kids, we demonstrate what asking for forgiveness looks like.

Pursue them even when they fail

And how much more can we demonstrate the grace of God when our kids fail and come to us and ask forgiveness?
There is so much we can teach them about God and His nature in the way we react to them when they come to us.
So many times the word discipline is looked at negatively especially when it comes to raising children. However, the Bible is very clear on it. Proverbs 13:24 takes a very punitive look at discipline.
Proverbs 13:24 ESV
24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
For our daughter, Jaylyne, looking at her and saying the words, “I’m disappointed,” was far more punishment for her than any smack would’ve been.
When mom was pregnant with my sister.
Maybe we don’t need to look at the word “rod” literally, but figuratively. However you look at it, the Bible tells us if we don’t discipline our children, we don’t love them.
Hebrews 12:5–7 ESV
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
No, we don’t expect our children to be perfect. We are human. Sin was brought into the world by our ancestors, Adam and Eve. Sin has been bred into us. It is our nature.
This doesn’t mean we excuse poor behavior. It means we must understand where it comes from and when we discipline, we do it in a way that is productive. We do it in a way where we see a change in behavior, like when mom went from spanking me to sitting me in a chair.
Our children are a gift to us and a blessing from God.
Please understand this, as soon as your child is born, there is a battle which begins for their soul.

Battle for their soul

We talked about this on Memorial Day how we are in a spiritual war. Please do not think of it as anything less. Both the father and the mother play important roles in leading their children to Christ. When the parents are a unified team, it helps tremendously.
1 Peter 5:8 ESV
8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
Be watchful as your kids go through life. Don’t think when they reach a certain age, it’s time for you to kick back.
Be sober-minded. Be calm. Don’t over react. You can discipline your children without going off the rail.
Our daughter, Jaylyne, comes to me.
Colossians 3:21 ESV
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
When we over react to things we draw the danger of making our children come to us when they are struggling with life decisions, or we push them away from the very thing we are wanting them to learn. There is a balance we must strike. Rely on God to help you know where it is.

Point them to the Gospel

Through the lives we live and the examples we set in front of our children as fathers and mothers, we have to point them to the Gospel.
Proverbs 20:7 ESV
7 The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!
As we walk the path which God has laid before us, it shows our children who God is. When we have our successes, and yes, even our failures, as we continue to show our children Christ in all situations, they can’t help but recognize His leadership in our lives.
Proverbs 14:26 ESV
26 In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.
As we fear or honor the Lord, as we follow His precepts, His laws, His will for our lives - as we show these life lessons to our kids as we raise them, they will see the value we place in God.
Why will our children have a refuge?
Psalm 46:1 ESV
1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalm 61:3 ESV
3 for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.
When our children see us rely on the strength of God when we are going through the storms of life, they will have the example lived in front of them. When they see us come out the other side, and we give God the glory and thank Him for his providence, for His guiding hand in our lives, we show them the Strong Tower. We show them the refuge we found in our God.

We are not alone

You are not alone. God has placed many godly men and women in this church who can help you along the way.
I was fortunate to have parents who lived godly lives. They weren’t perfect. They also let my sister and I know the church wasn’t perfect as well. While it can be a source of strength and the positives far outweigh the negatives, if you think you aren’t going to find fault within the church and the people she is made up of, you are going to be highly disappointed. My point is that even in their times of struggle, my sister and I saw our parents trying to rely on God the best they knew how.
I was very fortunate to marry a godly woman, Julie, who was also raised in a Christian home and had many of the same values I did. God brought us together and formed our home. She relied on how her parents raised her.
When Jaylyne was born, I was leading the youth group at the church. In the six years prior to her birth, I was watching the parents of the youth I worked with. I saw many great examples of how I wanted to be as a parent.
Julie and I in our home, we took from our parents, we took from what we observed from others at the church and the way they raised their children, and we formed that, with God’s help, into the way we raised our daughter.
We were not on this journey alone.

Fathers, what do your children see?

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