How To be Single - 7:25-40
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Introduction
Introduction
Calling. Mission. Fellowship.
Every single believer shares these three experiences.
Everyone who has been saved by faith in Jesus Christ has a calling from God.
When we are redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ we have a mission.
As blood bought children of the Most High, we are able to fellowship with Him.
Today we have before us a topic about which most believers would have intellectual agreement.
What I mean is that most of us know what Scripture teaches on this topic.
However, this is also a topic where the practical application of what Scripture teaches is severely lacking in many churches.
Our topic today is that of singleness.
Before we go further, let’s pray.
While we were gone, Daryl Hanson spoke from 1 Corinthians 8. That was where I had planned to be in our study of 1 Corinthians. However, a few weeks prior to us leaving we had a section of Scripture that needed more time to develop.
So I had Daryl jump ahead to chapter 8 because it deal with a different topic.
Today we will finish chapter 7.
By way of reminder, starting in Ch. 7 there is a transition in the book.
Paul moves from the explanation of the doctrine and practice necessary for unity to confronting and correcting the disunity in the Corinthian church.
They had written to Paul and asked him a series of questions.
Beginning in Ch. 7, Paul answers those questions.
Each time Paul answers a question it is introduced by the words “now concerning.”
Ch. 7 deals with a proper understanding of marriage.
Paul has deal with marriage, divorce, and the death of a spouse.
He is now going to deal with those who are single, and those who are engaged.
As Paul deals with these topics he touches on calling, mission, and fellowship.
These three shared experiences are relevant for all of us today.
Every believer shares three responsibilities.
Only as we are faithful to fulfill our responsibility will we grow in our walk with Christ.
To live out our calling, fulfill our mission, and rest in fellowship with Christ, these are our responsibilities.
Responsibility #1…
1. Wait on the Lord vv. 25-28
1. Wait on the Lord vv. 25-28
Raise your hand if you really love waiting.
Anyone?
I hate it.
On our trip there were several times when we would have gone to a drive thru or restaurant, but the wait was too long.
We live in an instant society. You walk the aisle of any grocery store and the word instant will jump out at you everywhere.
Instant oatmeal, instant coffee, instant mashed potatoes.
What you will never see anywhere is instant maturity or instant sanctification.
Those do not exist.
Maturity and sanctification take time.
When it comes to singleness and marriage, we must wait on the Lord.
We trust His calling.
We trust that all things happen according to His plan and purpose.
In the Christian life we practice what I call active waiting.
There are two actions we take as we wait on the Lord.
Action #1…
a. Be observant vv. 25-26
a. Be observant vv. 25-26
READ vv. 25-26
25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is:
Now concerning = indicates Paul is responding to a specific question.
Virgins - those who have never engaged in sexual activity. Paul is assuming that this means they are not married and never have been.
No commandment - there was no specific teaching of Jesus that Paul could point to.
Judgement - could also be translated opinion.
Paul is giving his opinion based on his trustworthiness as a faithful minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
As one who accurately handles the Word of truth, he is able to give a Biblically informed opinion.
Paul’s wording here is interesting.
In His boundless love and mercy, God has made Him trustworthy.
Made is active.
The Lord, the merciful master, has made Paul a trustworthy minister of the gospel.
Paul is faithful.
Faithfulness is not a product of human will or determination.
God, in His matchless grace and boundless mercy, makes us faithful.
As a faithful minister, Paul gives his opinion.
What is this opinion?
In light of the present distress, it is better to stay single.
Paul starts verse 26 with “I suppose.”
Suppose – νομίζω (nomizō) think; consider; believe. to suppose v. — to think or believe (something) without being fully settled in mind or opinion. Finite verb, present, active, indicative, first person, singular.
Suppose – νομίζω (nomizō)
This is an important word because it lets us know that Paul is not issuing a binding command.
He himself is uncertain!
As he observes the times in which they live, and as he looks at Scripture, it is his opinion that believers will be better able to serve the Lord without the entanglements of marriage.
That is what Paul is saying here.
This is not a command.
It is not binding.
It is simply the opinion of Paul.
Paul observes things and makes his judgement.
His comments are based on the present distress.
Here’s the idea.
The church is going to suffer.
Paul new about suffering and persecution.
He knew that facing the kinds of things he had faced would be far more difficult with a wife by his side.
Therefore, his advice is to serve the Lord while single.
What do we take from this?
We need to be students of our times.
We need to know the times in which we live.
We need to observe and judge just as Paul did.
We need to have discernment.
Discernment comes from Scripture.
Read and study Scripture.
Learn about God through His Word.
Learn how we are to act in a culture that is moving away from Christ!
Effective service requires Biblical discernment and cultural observation.
We cannot engage a culture we do not understand.
Paul understood the times in which he lived!
He had Biblical discernment and that discernment informed his actions.
As we wait on the Lord we take two actions.
Action #1: Be observant.
Action #2…
b. Be content vv. 27-28
b. Be content vv. 27-28
READ v. 27
27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
This is very straightforward.
Because of the present distress, stay how you are.
God has you where He wants you.
Rest in Him.
Reminder: This is not a binding command. It is Paul’s opinion.
He clarifies this in v. 28. READ v. 28
28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
It is not sinful to marry!
That’s not Paul’s point.
His point is that marriage should not be our all-consuming passion!
If God has called you to singleness at this time, be seeking ways to serve Him!
Our desire to serve the Lord should be greater than our desire to be married.
If it isn’t sinful to marry, why is Paul recommending against it?
In his day times were tough for Christians and getting harder.
Much like today.
His conclusion was that service for Christ would be easier without the difficulties that marriage can bring.
That’s why he says, “you will have trouble in the flesh.”
Marriage is an incredible institution designed by God for procreation, pleasure, growth, sanctification, and illustration.
However, would any of us who are married say it is easy?
No. We would not.
Paul wants to spare people from difficulty.
He wants godly men and women to be free to serve the Lord without any restraint or difficulty!
That is his heart here.
Wait on the Lord.
He has a calling for you.
Observe His Word. Observe the culture. Be content.
Trust that God’s plan and purpose are best and He will lead and guide in His will and timing.
If you are hearing this and you are single, wait on the lord.
I can serve the Lord effectively only as I am content with His placement.
He doesn’t make mistakes.
He is calling you to serve Him exactly as you are.
Don’t think that service for Christ demands a change in your relationship status.
God has plans for you.
He has called you and placed you, serve Him as you wait.
2 actions. Be observant, be content.
3 responsibilities.
Wait on the Lord - this has to do with our calling.
Responsibility #2. To fulfill our mission we…
2. Work for the Lord vv. 29-35
2. Work for the Lord vv. 29-35
In my lifetime I have had the privilege of having many different jobs.
There was a day when I worked in construction where I was trying to go fast cutting something with a skil saw and I wasn’t paying close enough attention.
All of a sudden, the saw stops. I look down back to see if it is still plugged in, only to discover I had cut the cord in half.
Ever since that day, I have paid careful attention to where cords are.
I have learned to focus and pay better attention.
We have a mission from God.
As His workers we are to pay careful attention to the work we have been called to do.
If we are not careful, we can end up causing damage or failing to get the work done at all.
With that in mind we have two goals as we work for the Lord.
Goal #1…
a. Be focused vv. 29-31
a. Be focused vv. 29-31
As we think about what Paul has said so far, a question comes to mind.
What is Paul’s motivation for the advice he is giving?
He answers that here.
Look at the beginning of verse 29.
1 Corinthians 7:29 (NKJV)
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short
The time is short!
We have a job to do! Stay focused and do it because we may not be here too much longer!
Christ is going to return!
Be focused on your mission.
Paul then explains how our focus on the mission and call of Christ impacts our various relationships.
Look at the end of v. 29. READ v. 29b
1 Corinthians 7:29 (NKJV)
29 so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none,
This is how focused we are to be.
What is Paul saying?
We cannot use family as an excuse for not serving the Lord.
To serve Christ forgo pleasures not responsibilities.
Look at v. 30
1 Corinthians 7:30 (NKJV)
30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice,
Mourning and loss can be used as an excuse not to serve.
Take time to mourn. Take time to heal. Then get back into service!
Don’t be one who lives for pleasure and chases a good time.
Joy and sorrow in this life are temporary.
Serve Christ!
Look at the end of v. 30
1 Corinthians 7:30 (NKJV)
30 those who buy as though they did not possess,
Wealth amassed simply to be rich or live in extravagance is not the will of God!
Jesus told us not to lay up for ourselves treasures on earth.
Our treasure is in heaven!
God supplies all our needs.
Don’t allow the pursuit of wealth to hinder your service.
Look at v. 31
1 Corinthians 7:31 (NKJV)
31 and those who use this world as not misusing it.
We must live in the world.
However.
We must not love the world.
We have to live and work and make a living.
We have to function in the society around us.
We dare not lose sight of the mission.
The mission is the gospel of Jesus Christ!
Finally Paul restates the idea that the time is short.
Look at the end of v. 31.
1 Corinthians 7:31 (NKJV)
31 For the form of this world is passing away.
The world will not last.
It is fleeting and temporary.
We must not spend our lives in pursuit of things that will not last.
Service with a mission means I spend my life on things of eternal significance.
The form of this world is passing away.
Therefore, we focus on serving the Lord where He has placed us.
We have been called by God.
We have been placed by God.
We have been given a mission, by God.
Our mission is bigger than any excuse!
Paul’s message to all of us, single or not, is this.
“Don’t be distracted. Don’t make excuses. Serve Christ!”
Our first goal as we work for the Lord in our mission is to be focused.
Goal #2…
b. Be committed vv. 32-35
b. Be committed vv. 32-35
When someone is doing a job for us, we want them to stick with it until it is done.
We want commitment.
Paul gives us his heart in the end of v. 35.
“That you may serve the Lord without distraction.”
That is Paul’s heart.
There are three areas of commitment here.
First. We need to…
Be committed to the Lord vv. 32, 34a
Be committed to the Lord vv. 32, 34a
Look at v. 32
32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.
Paul wants us to be unburdened in our service. Free from cares, worries, and concerns of this life.
We are to have one singular focus, to please the Lord.
It’s not that a married person cannot do that, however, there are cares and concerns that natural make it more difficult.
The beginning of verse 34 reinforces what Paul says here.
READ v. 34
1 Corinthians 7:34 (NKJV)
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.
The woman who is unmarried, whether widowed, divorced, or never married, is to care about the things of the Lord.
That is her commitment.
She is fully commited to the Lord. Set apart for His service in body and Spirit.
We are to please the Lord.
We care about His things.
Is that what we are living for?
Do we live to bring God pleasure?
There is a second area of commitment.
We are to…
Be committed to your spouse vv. 33, 34b
Be committed to your spouse vv. 33, 34b
Look at verse 33.
33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.
This is not presented as a negative.
This is what the married man is supposed to do!
Peter tells us to dwell with our wives in understanding.
We please our spouse.
Look at the end of v. 34.
1 Corinthians 7:34 (NKJV)
34 But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.
This isn’t just sexual pleasure.
We are to live with one another and make each others lives better.
We are to fulfill one another emotionally.
We are to help one another grow Spiritually.
For those who are married, our work for the Lord involves being committed to our spouse.
Three areas of commitment.
To the Lord.
The your spouse.
And finally. We are to…
Be committed to spiritual service v. 35
Be committed to spiritual service v. 35
Look at verse 35.
35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
Paul says this for our profit.
The idea of this word is that it will aid us in the achievement of a particular end.
Paul is not trying to say people shouldn’t get married.
He is telling us to consider the time in which we live and be sure God has called us into marriage.
If we are called into marriage, we cannot allow it to become a distraction from service.
Paul’s desire is that we serve the Lord without distraction.
The will of the Lord is for us to serve in whatever condition we are in. Married or single.
I must serve with commitment until the mission is accomplished.
When will the mission be accomplished?
When Christ calls us home.
This means that as long as I am still drawing breath, I have a job to do.
Going to church is not enough!
Every single one of us is called to serve.
As we work for the Lord we have 2 goals.
We are focused and we are committed.
Three responsibilities.
#1. Wait on the Lord. This has to do with our calling.
#2. Work for the Lord. This has to do with our mission.
#3…
3. Walk with the Lord vv. 36-40
3. Walk with the Lord vv. 36-40
This has to do with our fellowship.
Often in Scripture the believers relationship with the Lord is illustrated by a walk.
Walking with the Lord indicates that we have the same direction, the same purpose, and the same goal.
Scripture states that two cannot walk together unless they are in agreement.
We are to walk with the Lord.
This ability comes with two requirements.
Requirement #1…
a. Be Spirit-led vv. 36-38
a. Be Spirit-led vv. 36-38
To interpret this section it is important to remember that Paul is answering a question sent to him by the Corinthian church.
Apparently there was controversy surrounding what those who are engaged ought to do.
With this topic Paul has addressed all areas of relationship. Single, married, divorced, widowed, married to unbelievers, and engaged.
This is a difficult section to both translate and interpret and that difficulty is apparent in various ways it is translated.
The NKJV does a fairly good job but is still rather confusing.
As I read through about 7 or 8 different translations it is the ESV that has the translation that is the most clear, most accurate, and what best fits the context of the passage.
Let me read what the ESV has here.
36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.
37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.
The idea of behaving improperly important.
In this culture, engagement was a big deal.
To refuse to marry after engagement, or to drag the engagement out too long was a very serious breach.
It was dishonorable behavior.
Paul’s saying that if you are getting to the point where your behavior toward your fiance is dishonorable, marry.
Or.
If she is past the flower of youth.
This is a delicate translation of an interesting Greek word.
Basically, the idea of this word is to be at one’s sexual peak.
That’s why ESV has “if his passions are strong.”
These are normal healthy fully developed and mature adults.
God designed us in such a way that we have sexual passions.
Those are normal and good!
Paul is saying that if two young people are engaged and very attracted to each other, get married!
There are couple of key things I want to point out.
First, marriage is not sinful!
Paul makes that statement very clear.
The issue, from Paul’s perspective, is our ability to be unencumbered in our service.
Second, our desires (wants and wishes) matter.
Paul says it very clearly.
Let him do what he wishes.
Now. Psalm 37:4 says that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, He gives us the desires of our heart.
That does not mean we get whatever we want.
It means that God changes our desires to conform with His will.
This young man Paul is describing desires to serve the Lord, that is why he has put off the marriage.
He is delighting in the Lord, submitting to His will.
This desire to be married is a God-given desire!
He is being led by the Holy Spirit into marriage.
What Paul acknowledges in v. 37 is that others will be led by the Holy Spirit to never get married.
The key is in being Spirit-led.
The person Paul describes is steadfast in heart.
This means they are resolved to a particular course of action.
Has no necessity.
The idea is they are not in distress over marriage.
They are able to be unmarried and honor Christ in their singleness.
Has power over his own will.
This word “power” has the idea of authority.
They have the ability to choose what they want to do.
This is not a sin issue!
It has to do with our calling from God.
Has determined in his heart.
He has a fixed purpose.
His service for Christ will be in singleness.
The only way to be determined and steadfast in heart is to be led by the Spirit.
If God has called you to singleness, He will give the strength and determination to live in it.
This doesn’t mean that a call to singleness is a permanent call.
Verse 38 must be understood in context.
Paul is not saying that marriage is bad.
He is giving his opinion in light of the “present distress.”
What do we take from this?
Seek the Lord’s direction. When you have peace, act.
Action is to be taken only as the Spirit leads.
As we walk with the Lord, He will lead us.
Walking with Him has two requirements.
First, we must be Spirit-led.
Requirement #2…
b. Be Christ-centered vv. 39-40
b. Be Christ-centered vv. 39-40
Paul ends this section of the book by expounding just how serious the commitment of marriage is.
Look at the beginning of verse 39.
1 Corinthians 7:39 (NKJV)
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives;
Marriage is permanent!
When you are called by God and choose to get married, it is a life-long commitment.
Therefore, we choose carefully and wisely.
That is where Paul goes next.
Look at the end of verse 39.
1 Corinthians 7:39 (NKJV)
39 but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Death ends the marriage covenant and someone who finds themselves in that situation is free to remarry.
Two things here.
First, you can marry whoever you want.
Second, they must be a believer.
This blows up the idea that there is only one person for you.
There is no such thing as finding “the one.”
You do, however, have to marry a believer.
Once you are married, it is for life.
A Christ-centered person chooses chooses a spouse who will enhance their ability to serve.
We are to be Christ-centered in our marriages.
Look at verse 40.
40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.
Paul believes it is better to stay single.
The point is, whether married or single, we are to be Christ-centered.
The word judgment could once again be translated “opinion.”
We must remember that Paul writes this under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
He has been clear.
Our ability to serve Christ with single-minded devotion and purpose is best served by singleness.
That has been Paul’s argument all along.
However, that doesn’t mean marriage is bad.
The key in either instance is if it enhances your ability to serve.
A Christ-centered believer acts only at His direction.
Is this true of us?
Are we acting by the direction of Christ?
How are we directed? Through His Word!
Those are our two requirements.
If we are going to walk with the Lord, we must be Spirit-led and Christ-centered.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Though our title is “How To Be Single” these responsibilities apply to us all.
Wait on the Lord.
He has a calling for each and every one of us.
Don’t get ahead of His leading.
We need Biblical discernment!
We need contentment!
Work for the Lord.
You and I have a mission.
Our mission is the gospel of Jesus Christ.
We cannot work of we are distracted.
We cannot work if we are always looking around for something better.
Walk with the Lord.
Be led by the Spirit.
This means we cannot have unconfessed sin in our lives.
If we do, we will not hear the still, small, voice of God.
Center your life around Christ.
This means letting go of everything that hinders our service.
I don’t know what the Lord may have spoken to you about today.
Whatever it is, take a minute and write it down.
Then write down who you will be sharing it with.
Ask them to check in with you to see how you are doing with your commitment.
COMMITMENT:
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Waiting on the Lord requires patience.
Patience is a fruit of the Spirit.
We can only wait on the Lord as we submit to the Holy Spirit.
Working for the Lord requires perseverance.
Perseverance is produced through a consistently disciplined life.
To work for Christ we must be disciplined.
Walking with the Lord requires a path.
God reveals His path through His Word.
Our walk with Christ demands a knowledge of His Word.
Married or single our responsibility is the same.
Live out your calling, fulfill your mission, and rest in the fellowship of Christ.