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CHILDREN, SEX, FINANCES

Three of the most discussed subjects in counseling today that cause problems in marriages are children, sex, and finances.

Children and disobedience:

Children are pre-disposed to be disobedient and/or rebellious toward parent(s), guardian(s), and/or other authority.

When a child is brought up according to scriptural principals, he/she will continue to follow those principals later in life.  The Bible clearly teaches that parents (or guardians) are responsible for training and the proper discipline of their children until such time as they are no longer dependent upon them (Proverbs 22:6)

Proverbs 22:6 6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (KJV)

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (KJV)

Proverbs 19:18 18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. (KJV)

Parents and guardians need to speak to children on their own level of understanding.  Make it clear to them what you expect of them.  Do not punish them in anger.  Set the example you want them to follow, remembering that what you do will be more effective than what you say.  When you establish guidelines for children, stick to them.  Take them to church with you and let them see you worship God and pray, then ask the Lord to show you what to do with them.  Determine if there is a situation in the home which is directly contributing to the behavior problem of the children, e.g., mother working, absent father, etc.

SEX


Sex in most marriages is a problem.  Either one or both partners go through their entire marriage with un-fulfilled or un-met needs.  Many men and a very high percentage of women have been sexually defiled by age sixteen by their parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, family friends, baby sitters, or strangers.  People who have experienced sexual abuse as children will most likely have difficulty with sex after they are married.  As a result the problem becomes compound when the abused person withdraws their affection from their spouse due to Aflash-backs@ and various triggers causing memories of the past to cause much pain in their present day marriage. Many sexually abused persons become abusers themselves and become immoral and perverse and end up in adultery and/or fornication.

Hebrews 13:4 4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (KJV)

Galatians 5:1921 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. (KJV)

People may break God=s laws, but disobedience will result in the wreckage to your life and of those you improperly involve.  It is impossible to involve yourself sexually without involving the spiritual nature of your partner and yourself.  One may try to turn off this spiritual involvement, but succeeds only in hardening and callousing the spirit which is the worst effect of all.  You then become guilty of tampering with the spiritual core of a man or woman.  The scars from this kind of involvement are ugly, deep, and long-lasting.  God cares too much about all of His children, to leave such tampering and spiritual abuse unpunished.

FINANCES

The problem with finances is when the inability to meet financial obligations that are honorably contracted, or a general or specific financial need is being experience.  This cause great stress and pressure on the marriage.

God has promised to meet all our needs if we are a child of His and are doing according to His righteousness (Matt 6:33).  His children who are faithful in their tithing and giving of offerings are promised and over abundance of blessings (Mal. 3:8-10).

God owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  If His people are in need, He can Asell another cow@ and provide.  The wealth of the world is His

Psalm 50:10 10 For every beast of the forest is mine, and the cattle upon a thousand hills. (KJV)

Lack of finances cause much turmoil in marriages.  We must be good stewards of our finances and always keep our spending under control.  Otherwise, someone to whom you are indebted will own you like a slave and you will remain under that bondage until the debt is paid.


 

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