Affectionate Love

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Romans 12:9–13 NKJV
9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.
This list has the heading behave like a Christians in the NKJV. In the NRSV the heading given is “Marks of the True Christian” And yet what Paul lays out here for us seems an impossible life. Just the first instruction “let love be without hypocrisy” seems imposable. How can my love for God and others always be genuine and with integrity. The Christian life is always beyond possibility. It is the imposable life. So how are we to do these things?
Ezekiel 36:27 NKJV
27 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.
Philippians 2:12–13 NKJV
12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
It is the Spirit that God has put in us who is working in us both the desire to do His will and the power to do it. The power of the of the Holy Spirit is available to us to do His will not our own.
So when we read passages like Rom 12 9- 12 we read imposable commands, but with God all things are posable. It is God who put His Spirit in us to cause us to walk in His statutes, to keep His judgements and to do them.
So when read these instructions we don’t hang our head and say “I can never do this”. We pray that He who has begun a good work in us will complete it. We submit to the will of the Father and the Spirit will empower us to do these things. And the blood of the Son will cover us when we fall short. But we press toward that mark.
So then Paul says let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. This love in the broader sense I believe. Love both toward God and men should be without hypocrisy. That is it should be genuine. Don’t just go through the motions pretending to love God and yet not surrendering to Him, not keeping His commandment. Or loving one another on the surface but without genuine compassion and concern. Hate that which is evil. Sin or anything that would come between us and the Lord. Cling to that which is God, such as God’s perfect will in verse 2. Cling to the the Lord who is eternally good.
Now Paul becomes a bit more specific and speaks of our love for others particularly those within the church.

Love One Another with Brotherly Affection

The word love here is “philadelphia” Translated brotherly love. It not reserved only for brothers but it is the love you have for your closest family. In fact the New Testament is the only place that speaks of this kind of love with anyone other that close family. Philadelphia is that special love that you have for your own flesh and blood. And yet here and all through the New Testament it is instructed that we have this type of love for those who are of the household of faith. That is the church. This is the mark of a Christian is that they have a deep love for other Christians that is a special family kind of love.
Commanded by Christ
John 13:34 NKJV
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
Exemplified by Christ
John 15:12–13 NKJV
12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
The Test of Our Love of God
1 John 4:20–5:1 NKJV
20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also. 1 Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him.
In our passage in Romans Paul says “Be kindly affectionate to one another” Which means that this Love for one another is not just acts of kindness but it is with genuine affection. The greek word here means the affection that a loving parent has for their child. That is that it is a deep emotional affection. This means that that old saying “just because I have to love them doesn’t mean that I have to like them” is not true. You must have affection for them as well as love them.
We must pray that the Spirit of God would generate this affection in our heart for one another.
Romans 12:10 NKJV
10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;
Romans 12:10 NRSV
10 love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.

Outdo One Another in Showing Honor

That is showing value, or serving one another. We honor someone by serving them, exalting them.
Exemplified by Christ
John 13:3–17 NKJV
3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, “Lord, are You washing my feet?” 7 Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.” 8 Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.” 9 Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!” 10 Jesus said to him, “He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.” 11 For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, “You are not all clean.” 12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? 13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.
The Opposite of Selfish Ambition and Pride
Philippians 2:1–5 NKJV
1 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
Outdo One Another
Romans 12:10 NRSV
10 love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.
Imagine if instead of seeking to be honored we would all be trying to outdo one another in serving and honoring each other.
Imagine if we did this in our marriages. So many marriages fail because each one is desiring to be served by the other. So many churches split or fight with each other because each one seeks to be honored or feels that they are not being acknowledged or recognised by others. How different would it be if we all were looking for new and wonderful ways to honor each other. If we all would humble ourselves and seek the interest of others over our own interest. It would be imposable for us to fight with each other.
This kind of love and honoring of each other is so attractive to those outside of the church.
Christ said it is how people will know that we are His disciples
John 13:35 NKJV
35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
It is unique. Completely unworldly. It is so far from our fallen human nature that when the world sees it they marvel.
When the world see us be proud and fighting they think Oh yeah they are no different than anyone else. But when we through the power of the Spirit of God Truely and affectionately love one another and humbly serve one another putting each others interest above our own, thats unique. They don’t see that anywhere else. And it’s attractive.
Will you pray and ask God to do what ever is required in your heart to bring about this kind of love in your life? It’s a risky prayer. Are you ready for God to do this work in you?
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