Watch Your Mouth (Eph. 4:25-30)

· In the opening verses, Paul challenged us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which we have been called” (v. 1). Here in the second half of the chapter, he has introduced an important principle in sanctification known as putting off and putting on. In v. 22, he said to “put off your old self,” then down in v. 24 “to put on the new self.”

· Now, beginning in verses 25ff, he gives several practical examples of what putting off and putting on look like. We’re going to see it applied to our speech, to our attitudes, to our work ethic, and to our relationships.

· Read Ephesians 4:25-32

· Last week, I did something I rarely do. Something that’s always a little dangerous. I cooked dinner. Now grant it, it was only pancakes and bacon. But I still had to measure everything and mix it all together, and try to get it all to the table without burning it or letting it get cold. First I pulled out all the ingredients and set them on the counter. Then I mixed them. I used milk, some flour, some sugar, some oil, and an egg. Oh, and the kids also wanted chocolate chips, so I sprinkled them in too. The batter was a little on the thick side, so it actually looked like a giant, 7” chocolate chip cookie.

· In these verses, Paul is putting together a recipe, if you will. There are a lot of instructions here. But if we could boil it all down, there are five key ingredients. Five ingredients to a happy home and a healthy church: Honesty (25), restraint (26-27), generosity (28), encouragement (29-30), and kindness (31-32). We’ll look at the first four of them today, then come back and think more about kindness next week.

Honesty (25)

· The first ingredient for a happy home and a healthy church is honesty (Read v. 25).

· Lies are more common than you think, even among Christians. USA Today reporter Jerald Jellison estimates the average American lies at least 50 times a day. I wish I could say that Christians don’t lie, but it’s an area we can repeatedly slide back into old habits and “walk as the Gentiles walk.” We exaggerate. We become sarcastic. We slander. We deliberately mislead someone. We make a promise we can’t keep. How often do we embellish the details of a story, or report only one side of the facts to make ourselves look good? How many of us have told a “white lie” to avoid confrontation? -- I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. I forgot. I was only kidding. Saying everything is alright when it’s not.

· “There are six things the Lord hates,” Proverbs 6 says. [Yes, even] “seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

· The reason we are to speak with honesty is that we are “members one of another.” We’re part of the same body. Imagine if your eyes lied to you, and told you there is a flat sidewalk ahead, when in reality, there’s a flight of stairs. If the body lied to itself, it would cause great harm, and yet that’s precisely what happens when a person lies to another. Both end up being hurt. Lying is a form of self-harm.

· What does it look like when a church is full of truth-tellers? People begin to trust each other. They don’t have to constantly second guess. They don’t have to read between the lines. They don’t have to worry that others are talking behind their back. They don’t have to micromanage or create a watchdog mentality, but rather they can rest assured people are acting in integrity. And ultimately, this kind of honesty gives credibility to the message of the gospel. We as Christians are to be truth-tellers, because we believe in a message, a message that if true, demands a response. It’s no wonder, then, that Jesus says, let your yes be yes, and your no be no.

Restraint (26-27)

· The next ingredient is what I’m calling “restraint,” i.e. self-control over one’s temper.

· Read vv. 26-27

· Notice what Paul does not say. He does not say “do not be angry.” Anger, in some cases, is actually the right and acceptable response. God himself can even be angry.

· John 2:13–17 … Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.” His disciples remembered that it was written, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” – This zeal (ζῆλος) is intense emotion. So yes, sometimes we will be angry, and at its best, it can be a reflection of being created in the image of God.

· There are many things that can and should make us angry. When people take God’s name in vain, that should make us angry. When unborn lives are aborted, that should make us angry. When people joke about sex or participate in immorality, that should make us angry. Last summer after the death of George Floyd, I believe there was a righteous kind of anger at the racial prejudice that has stained much of our country’s history.

· Anger is sometimes appropriate. But here’s the thing. When God gets angry, he always has just cause. When you and I get angry, sometimes we have a right to be angry, but many times we don’t. And even when we do, if we’re not careful, that righteous anger can quickly fester into bitterness, resentment, violence, and hate. It has a short shelf life before it spoils. And some of us do not simply get angry in response to sin. We get angry when someone does not rise to our personal desires and expectations.

· When our kids were little, there was a little stretch of time where I started to get frustrated on a nightly basis. I would lash out at the kids. Hurry up and get ready for bed! Stop goofing off in the bathroom! Don’t you dare get up one more tine and ask for another drink of water. Finally, one of my kids said one night, “Daddy, why are you angry all the time?” I was convicted and has to ask forgiveness. I also realized that I was more patient and guarded my speech when others were around. This goes back to our first point of honesty. I need to be truthful, and consistent, and the same no matter who is around and who is watching.

· Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.1 Cor. 13:5 Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” NIV “it is not easily angered.” If you find yourself regularly lashing out, raising your voice, snapping at others, or maybe even being tempted to become violent with your language or even your actions, ask God to remove that spirit of anger and give you restraint.

· This is a serious problem. Now add to this the struggle that so many people have with alcohol, and you have a recipe for disaster. Because now, what little restraint still exists is removed, and there are no inhibitions. You just get anger and violence and abuse. The person is literally a ticking time bomb, just waiting to go off.

· If you do not guard your temper, you are giving an opportunity to the devil. It would be like going to Walmart, leaving your windows rolled down, doors unlocked, and keys in the ignition, then hoping the car is still there when we come back out. It would be foolish to leave you car in such an unguarded position. Yet you do something even worse when you hold on to your anger. You invite the devil right into your home or your workplace. It is literally a playground for him.

· Instead, Paul says, “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” In other words, resolve your problems quickly. If it’s a petty problem, don’t sweat it. Let love cover many minor offense. Give grace. After all, you’re not always easy to live with either. If it’s a lingering problem, talk about it. In a non-threatening, non-accusing way, just ask if you can talk. Ask if they’re OK. Ask if there’s anything wrong. These conversations will go better if you’ve already established the honesty that talked about in our first point. And for some of you, you need to just let some things go. You’re like hoarders. You’ve been holding on to grudges for years. You need to take that garbage out to the curb this week and let the trash truck haul it away once and for all. Proverbs 19:11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Generosity

· Read verse 28

· We can skip right pastthis one, right? After all, we’re not thieves. Not so fast! Like lying, stealing is far more prevalent than we may like to think even among Christians.

· Listen to these theft statistics from Embroker.com, a business insurance company. 75% of employees admit to stealing at least once from their employer. Internal theft costs businesses up to $50 billion a year. More than 30 percent of business bankruptcies are due to employee theft. Companies lose 20% of every dollar to workplace fraud. Just imagine how much cheaper our goods and services would be if we didn’t have so much fraud! Employers lose about 4.5 hours per week per employee to time theft.

· Even church members can be guilty of theft. There’s pilfering office equipment. Abusing copier privileges. Copyright infringement. Embezzlement of church funds. Plagiarism of sermon material. And then of course, there’s Christians who fail to honor God with the firstfruits of their wages, not giving him their tithes and offerings. God actually calls this robbery!

· Malachi 3:8–10 Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say, ‘How have we robbed you?’ In your tithes and contributions. You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me, the whole nation of you. Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.

· Instead of robbery, the Bible calls us to hard work and generous living. Paul says to be “doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share.” This is beautiful! The same hands that once stole now share. The sticky fingers have been redeemed by Jesus and become generous fingers. It’s more blessed to give than receive!

· We have seen honesty, restraint, and generosity. There is one other ingredient…

Encouragement

· Read v. 29-30

· Corrupting talk (29) – σαπρός. Rotten, corrupt, worthless. Speaks of bad fruit in Matt. 7:17 or bad fish in Mt. 13:48. There’s nothing quiet like the smell of rotten fish. People’s words can be the same way.

· Boys and girls, this is a big one for you. How you show love to God and to your family. In past generations, parents would wash out mouth with soap. But God needs to clean.

· We’ve all had conversations that that didn’t go well. A good series of questions to ask:

o Did my words build up? (like a Lego tower)

o Did I pick the right time and place? (using good judgment) Proverbs 27:14 Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing.

o Did my words give grace to the listener? (both the person I was talking to, and others who may have overheard the conversation?) Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

· Do not grieve (30) – Present imperative. stop grieving. Don’t be in the habit of grieving.

Conclusion

· Many of these have to do with our speech. Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

· We can be thankful for the plain teachings of Scripture like this one. God doesn’t give us some vague, mystical spirituality, then leave us to figure things out on our own. The Bible is immensely practical, talking through the nuts and bolts of Christian living. May this passage help us to love God and love others through our honesty, restraint, generosity, and our encouragement.

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