Matthew 15:1-9 | "Honor Your Father and Your Mother" [Mother's Day]
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Three weeks ago, our church began a preaching series through 1 Corinthians, a letter written “To The Church.”
If you ordered or received a copy of the study resources for that series, this week is a good week to catch up, if you are behind.
You can access sermon manuscripts on the website, re-listen to preaching there as well, or subscribe to the Southside Sermons Podcast to engage with any material you may have skipped over, and prepare together to make the most of this letter of 1 Corinthians, as we prayerfully apply God’s Word to our own Church assembly.
Today, on this Mother’s Day, we make a short detour away from 1 Corinthians, as we will on a couple of other occasions this year. Today, we visit our old friend, Matthew — Matthew 15:1-9.
We preached through Matthew’s account of The Sermon on the Mount earlier this year, and picked up several other pericopes as well, especially at Easter.
Today, we hear from Matthew 15:1-9 for a special message on Mother’s Day.
You may ask —
Why preach a special message on Mother’s Day?
Why not keep preaching through 1 Corinthians? Do we let the calendar dictate our course of preaching in this church? There is no end of specials days! Why detour on Mother’s Day?
And the answer is simple:
Mothers are on our mind today, and
God commands that our mothers be honored.
When we as the church show honor, we are placing value on something.
We are saying in our act of honoring, that “this is something important.” “This is something that carries weight.” “This is something God values.”
Our children are listening with us today. Our children need to hear that they are to honor their mothers and that this is important to God!
In this way, this message is for everyone - whether you are a mother or not. Because this message reveals something that God values and places weight upon. And we need to know what God says about mothers.
The Church cannot afford to let a godless culture define motherhood for us or for our children.
We will see that the 1 Corinthians church had been influenced greatly by culture in a negative way. So Paul, as he was moved by the Holy Spirit, spoke to specific issues in Corinth to put them in their right place.
That is what we are doing today. Our text is not in 1 Corinthians, but this message does remain in the spirit of that letter as we speak to the honoring of our mothers on this Mother’s Day.
Let us prepare now to hear this reading from God’s Word. Matthew 15:1-9.
Pray
I. Reading of Scripture
I. Reading of Scripture
1 Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said,
2 “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.”
3 He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?
4 For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’
5 But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,”
6 he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.
7 You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said:
8 “ ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;
9 in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ ”
This is God’s Word, Amen.
Matthew 15:1-9 “Honor Your Father and Your Mother”
Matthew 15:1-9 “Honor Your Father and Your Mother”
II. Introduction
II. Introduction
A. Introduction to Theme
A. Introduction to Theme
The title of this message is that command: “Honor Your Father and Your Mother.”
This is one of the oldest commands in the Bible.
It is one of the Ten Commandments! We often make much of the other commandments, like “do not lie, do not steal, do not murder” - and we say “I don’t do any of those things!” But, do we honor our parents?
This is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it.
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
God places value on the role and responsibilities of both the father and mother for their children. So much so, that when children honor their father and mother, they will live long in the land.
This commandment and associated promise is timeless.
It is not limited to Old Testament Israel, for it is repeated again to the Church in the New Testament.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
What does it mean to “honor your father and your mother?”
If you had to explain what this commandment means to yourself, or to your children, your grandchildren, or your neighbor — how would you explain it?
What does it mean to “honor?”
B. Introduction to Text
B. Introduction to Text
The word “honor” in Matthew 15:1-9, appears three times. Once in verse 4, once in verse 6, and once in verse 8.
Each time it appears in these verses, it is not a noun or an adjective.
What that means is, “honor” is not spoken about in these nine verses as a thing, or as a description of a thing.
It is not something that can be purchased, placed in a box, wrapped with paper and decorated with a bow - and given as a thing. “Here, dear mother, is your honor.” That is not what it means here — but that is what we tend to think it means.
“Honor,” as it appears In these three occurences, is a verb. It is an action. Meaning - there is no honor unless something is done. There is no honor unless some action is performed.
Think of it this way. When someone dies, hopefully they have left behind a will. That will represents that person’s wishes for what will happen with all of his/her possessions.
When the will is followed, that person’s wishes are what? — Honored.
We say we “honored” their wishes. We did what they wanted us to do.
This is the kind of “honor” Jesus is speaking about. The kind of “honor” God commanded for our fathers and our mothers. The kind of honor Isaiah spoke about as being a form of hypocrisy when it came to this people’s worship of God.
The act of honoring is an act of valuing with both words and works. It is treating what is honored as having more weight than other things.
Imagine with me a set of scales. The thing that is honored is heavier. It has more weight. That is the essence of the Hebrew word for “honor.” (see ChALOT).
To put it another way - honoring goes beyond lip service. Honoring will be in some way, costly. If it is not costly to us, it is probably not honor.
If we as the Church are to live God’s way, valuing what God values, honoring the people God says to honor, we must be willing to pay the price. We must honor whom God says to honor whether we think we can afford to or not!
Because if we do not place a value upon it and show that value in our investments, then no one will take notice of how valuable it is to God.
God will bless honor because God has commanded honor — And God always blesses obedience to Him.
It’s time that we, as the Church, re-learn how to honor and get serious about honoring, and to practically put our money, our investments, and our time and efforts into honoring whom God says we are to honor - and I am confident if we do, God will bless us beyond measure.
We watch in confusion as our culture redefines and destroys the concept of a biblical family - how the words “mother and father” are replaced with terms like “birthing parent and non-birthing parent.” How is this happening?
I suggest this is happening, in part, because God’s people are not honoring fathers and mothers in the way God designed and commanded. In a way that costs us. Clearly the price is worth paying if we are to show the world what God values.
III. Exposition
III. Exposition
Matthew presents a problem that the Pharisees and scribes had with Jesus’ disciples. It wasn’t a problem of theology. It was a problem of tradition.
Jesus’ disciples were breaking the tradition of the elders.
A. The Problem of the Tradition of the Elders (5:1-2)
A. The Problem of the Tradition of the Elders (5:1-2)
1. Matthew 15:1
1. Matthew 15:1
1 Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said,
2. Matthew 15:2
2. Matthew 15:2
2 “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.”
The tradition was something that had been passed down through oral instruction from one generation to another.
In this context, the tradition referred to regulations and practices that were developed and passed on through word of mouth about the Law of Moses.
And the tradition was good! It was intended to help those who were following the tradition to avoid breaking the law.
The idea was this — if you break the tradition about the law, you’ll be in peril of breaking the law itself. So the tradition was an aid for keeping the law, or the instruction of God. (TCC).
But notice the tradition is not the “tradition of God” but the tradition of the “elders.”
God does not invent traditions. God merely speaks, and His Word stands for all of time! And it is easier to know and obey God’s Word than it is to keep traditions.
The elders were an important group — the [ πρεσβυτέρων ]. They had the authority and responsibility over the religious community.
The tradition of the elders in this instance centered around hand-washing before a meal. This wasn’t ordinary washing of hands as we know, but a ritual, ceremonial hand-washing instructed by God in the law of Moses.
The problem, was that in the law of Moses, the instruction for this kind of washing was given only to the priests serving in the temple, not to everyone (see TCC, Ex 30:17-21).
So as it was applied, this was not an instruction of God, but a tradition of the elders expanding upon the instruction of God.
And Jesus responds to their criticism but not by answering their question. Jesus instead, asks them a question.
B. Jesus’ Response (5:3-9)
B. Jesus’ Response (5:3-9)
3. Matthew 15:3
3. Matthew 15:3
3 He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?
In other words, Jesus is saying that the Pharisees and scribes care more about the traditions meant to help people keep God’s instruction, than they care about God’s instruction itself (see TCC).
We humans think we know what God wants, and can teach what God wants better than God — don’t we?
How might this apply to Mother’s Day?
We think we know what will honor Mothers more than Mothers themselves.
I put out a question through some connections on social media this week, to a large group specifically made up of mothers.
I asked: “What things can a church do to honor you?”
I really wanted to know. I wanted to share some practical ways we can honor mothers, not by what I thought would honor mothers, but by what mothers said for themselves.
Many responses came in. Some public responses, some direct messages because what they had to say about their struggles as mom’s would open them up to too much embarrassment because it didn’t fit the popular image.
A couple of the moms made this statement:
“Thanks for asking.” / “Just asking the question means a lot.”
Could it be that we care more about the idea of motherhood, than we care about mothers themselves?
I found out that there for some of these mothers, they are not honored in a special day, as much as they are honored every day as they are supported by their husbands, children, and churches. When fathers are who fathers are to be, when church are who churches are to be - then mothers may thrive as mothers are to be because all the pressure isn’t only on them and their role as a mother, but they are operating within a grander design with all the support structures in place.
A word that popped up in several of the responses was the word “complicated.” Mothers view motherhood as complex. It is not the same one day to the next, or one mother to another. And every mother was struggling with something.
Some were trying to raise a child with special needs. Some were having to go at it alone. Some would give anything just to have a few minutes to themselves. Some just needed to be shown grace.
Several of the responses shared this common theme — Mothers desired older women to mentor them, to walk alongside them, to encourage them.
Some had “spiritual mothers,” - women who were like mothers to them in the faith.
Several called out husbands. They said they would feel more honored as a mother if their husbands supported the mother of their children emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. If this happened in the home, it would certainly strengthen the church they said.
One mother said — I want the church to be the church — and instruct my family how to be a family of God, how to raise our children in the Lord, and to make that a priority in what happens in the church. That the family and children not be an afterthought but a forethought in all that is done. That the family be invested in. That’s how she would feel honored.
One mother said she felt honored when she was celebrated not for what she did, because she will do everything that needs to be done because it needs to be done! (isn’t that true of mothers?)
This mother desired to be seen for who she was as a person and not just as a “mother” although, that is important. She said if Christ and the church are the spiritual example of marriage, then this is how she wants the church to see her - not for what she does but for how she is a person created to love and be loved in Christ. How who she is, is more than what she does.
I was surprised at how many of the responses revealed mothers who were battling grief and suffering from childlessness or the loss of a child or the embarrassment of not yet having a child. Several said they desired community in the church to help them work through these things, and that community is non-existent and non-prioritized.
All this to say — when it comes to honor, there is a danger that what we do in the name of honor is not received as honor.
So how do we know how to show honor?
Honor starts with God.
4. Matthew 15:4
4. Matthew 15:4
4 For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’
Honor proceeds from a source that is God. “God commanded...”
We must know who God says to honor and why God places such a value on those people worthy of honor.
“Honor your father and your mother.”
This is the commandment form Exodus 20:12.
What value do father’s and mother’s have that is worthy of such honor?
Is it by simply that they have children? No — that is their role.
It is what they are to do with those children. That is their responsibility.
Listen to what the Wisdom Literature of Scripture says about the responsibility of mothers and fathers —
8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching,
20 My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
22 Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Mothers are not intended to fulfill their responsibility alone!
Mothers share the responsibility of instructing children. It does not belong to the father only.
Mothers — you need to know why you are honored, and one reason is that you have a responsibility to take part in the teaching of your children!
Listen to what Paul wrote to Timothy:
5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.
Mothers pass on faith to their children.
And God placed such a high value upon fathers and mothers, for passing on the faith to their children and the ways of God to their children that Jesus references another command:
17 “Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.
The word translated “curses” in the Hebrew is the opposite of the word for “honor” (NET). Whoever “dishonors” his father or mother shall be put to death.
That is how seriously God values the role and responsibilities of fathers and mothers.
Jesus informs the Pharisees and the Scribes that their tradition violates God’s Word and renders their honor as hypocrisy.
5. Matthew 15:5-6
5. Matthew 15:5-6
5 But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,”
6 he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.
What this means, is that if a child had property or earned money that would have been used to support his parents, and instead of supporting his parents he devotes that property to God instead, the tradition taught that if it is given to God, you are not breaking the commandment by neglecting to honor your father.
And Jesus says — “For the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.”
And Jesus doesn’t stop there.
6. Matthew 15:7-9
6. Matthew 15:7-9
7 You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said:
8 “ ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;
Honor is subject to the abuse of hypocrisy.
Honor is not something that can be offered as lip-service only.
What mother is honored when their child says “Yes ma’am, I’ll obey” but then goes and disobeys?
Here in verse 8 there is a shift, to where Jesus is not speaking about the honoring of father or mother any more, but he is speaking about God’s people’s honoring of Him.
And this is a transformational shift that mothers, and fathers reflect as well.
A mother and a father deserve honor and are valued because God has given them children, so that they might be human reflections of God to their children, tp the church, and to the world.
We know what it is like to have a Heavenly Father because we have earthly fathers who reflect Divine father-ship.
And even so, we get a more complete reflection of who our heavenly Father when there is a mother reflecting the motherly qualities of God as well.
This matters as a principle of worship!
9 in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ ”
To be a hypocrite in honor is to fail to truly worship God.
IV. Conclusion
IV. Conclusion
Matthew 15:1-9 speaks about mothers and honor, but the main point is not about mothers. The main point of this text is that Jesus - not the Pharisees and the Scribes, is the one who interprets God’s law correctly and perfectly.
On this Mother’s Day - we are reminded in the point of this text, that it is Jesus also who interprets what it means to be a mother correctly and perfectly.
Listen to how Jesus responded in Matthew 12 when he was told his mother and brothers wanted to speak to him.
46 While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him.
48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”
49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers!
50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
This is Transformational Motherhood. This is Jesus transforming what it means to be a mother, a sister, a brother - a member of His family.
So this is for anyone whose identity is wrapped up in the work you do.
For the mother who wants to be known for who she is and not what she does, because she’ll do whatever needs doing.
A. Gospel Proclamation
A. Gospel Proclamation
The Gospel proclaims that in Jesus, we get a family title not because we are married, or because we have children - but because we know Him and do God’s will.
sin
sin
Sin attacks motherhood and all relationships because it turns us away from God’s will.
Eve - the mother of all the living - turned from God’s will when she did not believe God’s command. And the family has suffered ever since.
righteousness
righteousness
But through Jesus, we are clothed in his righteousness, to obey God’s will.
And how did Jesus enter into this world, so that he might obey God’s will and die on a cross in our place and be buried and raised again?
Through a mother.
The Gospel message is not possible without a mother.
Jesus redeems motherhood for all of time because Jesus was one who had a mother too. And Jesus says - who is my mother? He makes the important shift to what a mother ultimately passes on to her children.
She raises her children to obey the will of God.
C. Exhortation & Application
C. Exhortation & Application