Patrick and Katie Smith
Notes
Transcript
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:18-24
Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Smith Wedding Meditation
Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Smith Wedding Meditation
You guys have chosen a familiar passage, but also what is likely understood as the first passage in Scripture regarding marriage. Genesis 2 verses 18 through 24, where we find these words:
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Patrick and Katie, when we look back in Scripture at God’s creation, we find that God wanted for there to be something more, something that he created with his handiwork that would be living. So he did all of this work over a number of days, and as he went we find in Genesis 1 that he would look it all over and determine, “It was good.” We hear those words again and again. What God created, including Adam the first man was all good.
While the creation was good, we find in that verse we read that the living and relationship situation was not good—for Adam was alone. I know dogs are special to both of you, and they can be great companions, but God said that none of the animals or birds or livestock that were in creation were suitable helpers. So in a way that only God can do, he put Adam under, took a rib out of him, created and shaped the rest of the body, and out came another human being, a woman, who Adam would later name Eve.
This woman was to be a “suitable helper” for the man. We talked about this a little bit in our counseling session. God has given you personalities that while very similar do have differences. He has given you similar passions and backgrounds, but there are also things that you will continue to find that you differ on. God has given each of you strengths, talents, and ways that you enjoy serving him and serving other people. When it comes to marriage, as you grow and as the days and years increase, each of us who enters into this covenant will have a desire in us to help our spouse.
Right now, you are both young, able-bodied, good-thinking, and very deeply in love people. Both of you have proved your independence. You can go hundreds, even thousands of miles away from where you grew up and from your parents and siblings and you can sustain yourselves doing the things you love. But today, Katie and Patrick, things change. Maybe not dramatically or even noticeable at first, but as live and walk together, God’s call for marriage requires us to place dependency in the other person. Dating and engagement gets you ready for that, but the lifelong commitment and promise of marriage is when it becomes for real.
That means that on those bad days, be it something that happened at work or something that happened in your families—who you can go to is your husband, is your wife. That means that if one of you suffers an injury or becomes sick, you will be there for each other. It means that even when arguments arise and you work out disagreements, your end goal is the relationship, it is the marriage.
One of the definitions I found about this use of helper is “a person who contributes to the fulfillment of a need or furtherance of an effort or purpose.” That is what you have committed to today. You Patrick are fulfilling a need that Katie has. You Katie are together with Patrick furthering the purpose God has created in your life. One theologian writes that in God’s creative work with man and woman, “He pronounces that marriage will really prove to men the best support of life… a companion and an associate…to live well. “
When you got engaged and when you vowed yourselves to each other a few moments this is what you believe to be true. You believe and I believe as well that you will be able to live more fully and you will be able to benefit one another and every part of this world that you connect to better because you are united together in marriage. In your line of work, you know the benefit of having a partner. You know that those people will have your back, that you can trust them to benefit you and make you better agents. But none of those people will be able to benefit you like another can as your husband and your wife.
So God calls those who enter into marriage to see their partner as a suitable helper, and live into the benefits of that. The second thing we want to observe in this passage is the final reflection. Having received his wife from God his Father, Adam declares this to be bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, and then Scripture says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Jesus affirmed those words during his ministry.
As we noted earlier both of you left your parents’ houses several years ago. In that time you have traveled many miles, and that was even before you met! Maybe you have figured it out, but if you could add up the number of miles that you have traveled to see each other by car and plane from the academy to Minneapolis to down in Texas, to New Jersey and Chicago and now finally settling down in Philadelphia—both of you have traveled a long distance from your father and mother’s homes.
That is good—there is no doubt both of you have grown up by being apart, but you have also learned how much family has meant. The people who raised you are people you have trusted and you can continue to trust them. While I encourage you today to lean on one another, to not always go back to parents or brothers or sisters before you go to your spouse, remember where you have come from and where your spouse has come from. While the relationships of your youth have changed, you can never fully disconnect. Adam and Eve were created by the hands and breath of God out of nothing; they came into a new relationship where they would find fulfillment in one another that God saw needed to be fulfilled, but he was always going to be their God. So too that remains for us today.
God is to be your God, not your husband or your wife as god—you may treat one another as a king and a queen and seek to give each other the very best, but God is God alone. Along with that only Jesus Christ can be your Savior. Marriage is a wonderful opportunity to grow together as people and to grow together in your faith. I encourage you to root yourselves in God’s word, pray together, share with one another the frustrations and hopes and joys that you have about faith and about church. But you are both sinners in need of the salvation that only Jesus can supply.
God has gifted you with the wonderful opportunity to know one another and to enjoy each other. Marriage is great fun but it is also filled with its share of trials. Even after sin came into the world and into relationships, God continued his intent for us to be married. He also continued his desire and his commandment for us to love him, follow him, and trust in him. Honor him by cherishing Christ! Seek his forgiveness and be willing to forgive one another as Jesus has forgiven you. Grow in the knowledge and the experience of his grace, and be willing to take that grace into your disagreements.
Katie and Patrick, this is a wonderful day to celebrate and to remember in days ahead! Cherish it, but cherish one another even more. Let God fill your relationship with enduring love for one another, but also for him, and may Christ be the foundation and greatest support of your marriage. Amen.