Michael and Tiffany Mailey
Notes
Transcript
Again, I saw vanity under the sun: one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:7-12
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Mailey Wedding Message
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Mailey Wedding Message
You have chosen Ecclesiastes 4:7-12 as your text this afternoon. In the final verse, we’ll hear about the three-strand cord, for which we have the unity braid. But first, let’s hear God’s word and its message for you.
Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:
There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless—a miserable business!
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Michael and Tiffany, one of the things we looked at in our last session together was goals. What kinds of things do you together and as a family identify, and want to commit to? Hopefully you remember some of those—there were short-term ones, others were things that you work at over time. A few were bigger dreams, things that you hope will come farther down the road.
When we put together the goals we want to accomplish and dedicate ourselves to, so often they can simply be just a list. You can write them out on a sheet of paper, and you just take some time occasionally to look back and see if you can check something off or not. After a year or five years or as you are nearing the end of your life, you can look back and see what you have completed and what you would still like to do.
And yet, these kinds of lists are not static. As years go by and the circumstances of your lives change, your goals will likely adapt with them. Having a son right now, having more children in the future, watching them grow up—those life events change our focus. What you might accomplish in education and work may open new doors that you cannot even begin to expect or plan on today. Over time, our interests can change, our priorities may shift. What is most important to each of you right now may deepen and you may become more passionate about that, but some things that are very important right now may fade over time.
Well, whatever goals we may have now or that we might set in the future, I believe at the heart of them is us trying to make meaning of our lives. As Christians we believe that God created us with and gives us purpose throughout our lives. So when we set and achieve goals, we are tapping into that. We are looking to see and satisfy what he created us for, and enjoying what he has given us the opportunity to experience.
This is what the author of Ecclesiastes is trying to make sense of throughout the book. He makes it very clear that we can work and work and work, we can take the paycheck home, we could have all sorts of toys and luxuries—and yet, still be miserable. Our lives can seem meaningless and vain. This passage says it is especially true, if we are alone—without family or friends or companions. There is a uniqueness that human beings have that other material objects do not and cannot have. Nothing can replace having real people, and real interactions and relationships in our lives.
And so as you, Tiffany and Michael, begin your marriage, I want to encourage you to have a few goals based on this passage. The first is this: always help one another up. The author of Ecclesiastes gives us a picture of a journey. When someone would be walking down a dirt road or path in those days, there would have been bumps and rocks, brush, and even potential pits that could lead travelers to stumble and even injure them. If something happened while you were on the path and you were alone, you could not just pull out a cell phone and call for help. No, you were stuck until someone came along and cared for you, or unless you struggled your way to a place of rest. But if you had someone with you, they would certainly be able and willing to help.
There are going to be times where one of you might literally trip or fall, or you will endure more serious physical issues—it is better for there to be two of you than for each of you to go through that alone. But we can also think about this goal in terms of other troubling times that do come up in marriage. There have been times of sadness and grief that you have experienced as a couple before this day, and there will likely be more ahead. Whether that is losing a loved one, or having a stressful time in raising children, or going through difficulties at work. There are times where life brings us to our knees, and we struggle to make sense of why things have gone the way they have. At those times, to have family, friends, and a husband or a wife that we trust to help us is certainly a blessing.
Make it a goal to always help one another up. Don’t think about it just in terms of, well I have satisfied it once or a couple times, so I’ll check it off the list and never do it again. No, this is a goal that endures, it is part of the lifelong vows—as many times as necessary and you are able
Goal number two is: keep each other warm. I promise to keep this tasteful, don’t worry. The writer brings us back to that picture of a journey. There were times when individuals needed to stop on the side of the road overnight, and there were no Holiday Inns or Comfort Suites. They slept outdoors, maybe or maybe not having a tent. Anyone who has been camping knows that even when it has been hot during the daytime, it can get cold at night. Yet the body heat of two people together helps both of them to feel and stay warmer than if they were alone.
As you go forward, make it a practice to be physically near to each other. Yes, in bed and having intimacy in that part of your relationship, but also in the normal activities of your day. It is easy for work to own much of our time, even becoming the thing that we turn to when other parts of our lives, including marriage, are not going well. It takes effort to make time for our spouses, and it can take work to actually be present with them. Wanting to be near her or being willing to listen to him is an obligation to build up your marital closeness.
There is great reward to this. By practicing nearness, we grow in our ability to trust our spouse. We know that they will not harm us. We know our partner will desire for us to benefit.
There is one more goal, I want to encourage you guys with today—there are others that could be talked about, but make it your goal to live with the Lord and look for what he is doing. In Ecclesiastes 3 verses 10 and 11 it says, “I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time.” There is nothing more worthwhile in our lives than to know that God is with us. Through the mundane, routine parts of our day as well as through our jobs—working with our hands, teaching students. God is with us. When we spend time away from home relaxing, when we see our extended families, when we deal with disagreements and arguments. God is with us.
And yet my hope is not just that you know he’s there, but that you together would live with him, looking for his actions. To have devotions and to worship together, those are some of the most important things that you can be doing as a family, but we believe he is with us every moment of every day. To live with him faithfully means that we grow to know how he intends for us to live and what he wants us to do. That takes living with him, not just knowing about him.
If you are willing to do that, then more and more you will see his love and compassion. You will be able to show and experience forgiveness that imitates what Jesus offers to us. God’s grace transforms us, and then extends into our marriages. He has made and he will continue to make all things beautiful in its time. When you fight or disagree, when your partner does things a few years into marriage that they know already todays gets under your skin—who will shape how you react? Is it just you on this journey, is it you as a couple, or is it your family living together with the Lord?
As I said early on, the point of goals for is help us define meaning in our lives. If you will commit to these three, helping each other, keeping each other warm, and living with the Lord—I believe your marriage will grow strong. I believe, with God’s help, they will provide the foundation for a marriage in which both of you love and respect yourself and each another. They will also be the support on which you flourish in your home and your family. Amen.