Overcoming Barriers

Discipling in the Church  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  45:08
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Basic idea:
We’ve thought about what discipling generally looks like, and have seen that Jesus calls all of us to disciple others. And we have looked at why disciple at all, concluding that it is immensely important for our joy and for God’s glory.
Now, this week we’ll look at some barriers or excuses for not discipling. And then we’ll respond to those barriers and excuses with the Bible, with the goal of answering the question of ‘How can we overcome these barriers and excuses?’
And the assumption in asking this question is that all of us in this room have barriers and excuses that might keep us from discipling. As much as we may intellectually ascent to the importance of discipling, I would speculate that for many of us there are reasons why discipling is still difficult for us to put into practice. So, I just want to start with the question to you:
What are some reasons that a person might give for not engaging in discipling relationships? What do you think?
I hope that today will see that there might be some barriers (even previously unconscious ones) that are inhibiting our fruitfulness in intentional spiritually-encouraging relationships. But even if you are not hindered by these issues we will discuss, I bet that someone you spend time with is. Thinking very clearly about barriers and excuses to not engage in discipling will help you be an even better discipler for those you influence.
We will look specifically at 5 excuses. And to think about these excuses, we can put them into three categories: a problem of theology (excuses 1 and 2), a problem of complacency (excuse 3), and a problem of inadequacy (excuses 4 and 5). Three categories: a problem of theology (excuses 1 and 2), a problem of complacency (excuse 3), and a problem of inadequacy (excuses 4 and 5).

Excuse #1: I don’t want to be in a position of “authority”.

Sometimes, people don’t want to be placed in an “authoritative” position. As it is, our culture breeds independence, so the notion of having an authority or being seen as an authority figure is not so appealing. Even less so, then, the desire to teach and instruct others!
How does the world describe authority? How do you think of authority? More importantly, as Christian, we want to know how the Bible pictures authority.
Jesus models authority for us. Consider how Scripture refers to Jesus’ teaching as “authoritative” (Mark 1:22).
Mark 1:22 KJV
22 And they were astonished at his doctrine: for he taught them as one that had authority, and not as the scribes.
In and through Jesus, we see the proper posture of one in “authority,” that of a loving servant. Jesus sets for us the example how an authoritative figure can be a loving servant leader:
John 13:13-14
John 13:13–14 KJV
13 Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.
J. Oswald Sanders in his book “Spiritual Leadership” says the following about what he calls “The Master’s Master Principle:”
In light of the tremendous stress laid upon the leadership role in both secular and religious worlds, it is surprising to discover that in the King James Version of the Bible, for example, the term “leader” occurs only six times, three times in the singular and three in the plural. That is not say that the theme is not prominent in the Bible, but it is usually referred to in different terms the most prominent being “servant.” It is not “Moses, my leader,” but “Moses, my servant.” The emphasis is consonant with Christ’s teaching on the subject.[1]
Matthew 20:25-28
Matthew 20:25–28 KJV
25 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. 26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; 27 And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: 28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
Have this attitude in your heart, the attitude that puts the other person’s welfare ahead of your own. You’ll find even though discipling puts you in a position of authority, an attitude of sacrificial love will wed initiative with service and humility.
We are not “lording it over others” when we disciple them; rather, we are serving them, even if they don’t entirely perceive it as such.
We should be very careful to have an appropriate view of our authority in these relationships. Biblical authority is not abusive authority. It’s servant authority. Ask yourself: ‘Am I displaying the servant-hearted love of Christ in my use of authority? Or am I using it for my glory?’ ‘Am I leading them to God’s Word or to me?’
When taking them to God’s Word (and not to our own personal opinions), you are being a loving servant.
Don’t get a big head because of your service in this way, but do rejoice in God’s goodness to use you to bear fruit in the lives of others.

Excuse #2: Intentional discipling relationships turn friends into projects.

Some people may object that if I engage in a relationship with another Christian that is at it’s heart deliberately focused on encouraging them spiritually, and not merely on enjoying their company or friendship as the primary goal in and of itself, then I have reduced the reality of my true friendship for them and have made them merely into a discipling project.
To help us to understand and deal with this second potential objection, it would help to ask ourselves this simple question…”What is real biblical love and friendship anyway?” (take one or two responses from the class)
In John 15, Jesus says that real love is when we love others as Jesus has loved us. Real love is merely affirming affection and camaraderie.
Jesus loved by setting out fundamentally to do eternal good for others as a supreme mark of his love for them.
Last week we read Jesus words to his disciples from John 15:15.
John 15:15 KJV
15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
So Jesus’ friendship was shown by revealing his Father’s will. Did you hear that? They were not merely a project to him, but he loved them by revealing truth.
Note Ephesians 5:1-2.
Ephesians 5:1–2 KJV
1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; 2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
Again here we see Christ’s desire to set out to do good for all his children as a grand mark of his love for them, and a pattern for us to follow. Real love sets out purposefully to do spiritual, eternal good for the beloved.
That said, it is possible to make people into projects. We can make a friend a project by demanding rigid adherence to some set “program,” or by not being concerned with the actual feelings of our friend, or by throwing simple bible verses without taking the time to understand why they are struggling.
So, just to throw out a question: How can we avoid making a project of people? What do you think?
At the end of the day, we need to be faithful to God and to Scripture in this. There will be times when we have relationships with people who simply will not “feel” loved by an intentional relationship focused on their spiritual good.
Sometimes this happens because they believe your intentional discipleship is out of sense of obligation, not out of any sense of really loving them. Other times this will happen when someone really doesn’t believe that caring for their own soul is the most important thing in their life.
For many a relationship focused mainly on spiritual encouragement may be emotionally unsatisfying. I encourage you to maintain a good balance of gentleness, kindness and clarity on this point.
We want to be kind and gentle, to help a person understand and perceive the love we have for them in Christ. At the same time, especially with less mature Christians, you don’t want to see your way of relating to them being driven by their “felt needs;” rather, you want it to be shaped by God’s Word.
So be a friend, hang out if you can, but keep in mind that pointing them to the Father, to greater joy in repentance and obedience, that’s the best way to love them.

Excuses #3: I just don’t feel like it, and don’t have time for it

Most of the lives around us, and many of our own, are full to overflowing with relatively good things. Considering all that we have received from God and His church, what does it say about our understanding of grace and love if we hoard those blessings to ourselves?
Think about how God has cared for you, loved you, forgiven you, blessed you, and comforted you. This thought should cause you /motivate you to do the same for others. We love others because God first loved us.
2 Corinthians 1:3–5 KJV
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
Remember that life is not full without Christ. If our friends are not living life the way that God intended them to live, then they aren’t living life to the fullest.
To choose not to encourage them to live life with Christ is un-loving. To challenge them to live their life with Christ at the center is the most loving thing you can ever do for them.
Think about individuals who have encouraged you through your faith, and who have challenged you to fight off sin. The great commission was meant to have a spreading effect—not to end with you.
What if your problem is time? (Good to talk through with someone else, like a close friend or a pastor, what a sane schedule might look like.)
More than anything else, I suspect it comes down to a matter of desire and priorities.
I don’t know if you’ve ever considered how expectations can cause us to do less in the Christian life. Take, for example, your quiet time. For many, if you can’t do a 30 min to hour-long quiet time with all of the good things you envision (extensive prayer, in-depth study of the passage, mediating on application, etc.), then many don’t do it at all. That’s an incredibly unhelpful expectation.
Many of us carry around a similar static expectation for our relationships—we don’t have the time to do all the things that might help, so we don’t bother doing anything to help.
Here’s a relevant quote: “If something is worth doing it’s worth doing poorly.” Is this advocating poor work or laziness? No it is advocating the importance of the job. Even when not done to our expectations.
Later on, we’ll consider how to do bible study with one another, and how to pray together. But if you don’t have much time to prepare for a discipleship relationship, consider how you can use the local teaching and preaching ministry as a basis for teaching in discipling relationships and multiply your time.

Excuses #4: I don’t have anything that I can “teach”

Every Christian has at least one important thing to pass on to others—the gospel of Jesus Christ.
At the very least, if you don’t feel like you have anything you can teach, you can seek out someone with whom to share the gospel. You might think of the gospel as what God uses to bring unbelievers to salvation in Christ. That’s certainly true. But the same gospel that saves us is the same gospel that sanctifies us on a daily basis.
Throughout the book of Titus, Paul argues that one of the best things we can do is to remind other believers about the basic truths of the gospel. Read Titus 3:1-8.
Titus 3:1–8 KJV
1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work, 2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. 3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. 4 But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, 5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; 6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; 7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. 8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.
We must constantly remind ourselves and others of the basic truth of the Gospel. You can form a good discipling relationship with someone just by spending time going over each of these truths in depth. As Paul says, they are “good and profitable unto men.”
Whatever stage you are at as a Christian, you always have something you can teach. Your daily life, your prayer, your words, and everything in your life is a means through which you can disciple others.

Excuses #5: I’m not gifted to disciple others. Others are simply more gifted than I am. Let them disciple others.

We need to recognize that we all have different gifts that we can pass on to younger Christians. It’s not simply a matter of theology or expertise in biblical exposition.
You can disciple someone by teaching them how to pray diligently and effectively, by simply listening to their struggles, by sharing cross-generational relationships.
Discipling is fundamentally about bringing people to God’s truth. You are to be a conduit for that truth.
Discipling is not something you do on your own. Fundamentally, apart from their own understanding of the gospel, the most important thing you can do for a Christian friend is help them get involved in local church.
You want to get your friend involved in your church (or another bible-believing church) so that he/she can be discipled by other people in your congregation, who have gifts that you don’t have. Remember—it takes a church! Discipling should never be thought of as an individualistic endeavor, but a community affair!
Discussion here for other general “excuses” if time permits: Can you give me some other reasons why you struggle with discipling, or suggest some ways you think you or others might make excuses?

Overcoming Fears of Discipling

Even if we get past the “excuses” for not discipling, many of us will still have certain fears about discipling. In fact, it’s probably a good thing to have some measure of a healthy, holy fear about the task before you!
Recognize the commitment. Discipling is not to be taken lightly, and a little bit of fear is a good thing.
In Matthew 18, remember the time when Jesus welcomed the little children. Many think of this passage as being just about kids. While this does certainly involve children (esp the kids standing right in front of Jesus), our Lord was also using children as an analogy for how to spiritually deal with any Christian, adults and children alike. Verse six we read that you don’t want to be causing God’s children (or any believer) to stumble.
In 2 Peter 2:1, we find Peter warning the people to not follow false teachers. Throughout the Bible, we find warnings against false teachers who lead people astray. You don’t want to be one of those—not even in the subtlest sense.
By committing to intentionally spending a decent amount of one-on-one time with an individual, we must recognize that we can have a significant influence on their Christian walk—especially if they see us as someone with some authority, and they see us as someone to use as their model. So, we should approach discipling with some holy fear, that we would not lead any of God’s children in the wrong direction!

Dealing with Fears of Failure

What are some fears that we might have as we approach a discipling relationship?
· Your friend will ask questions that you can’t answer
· You’ll say something wrong
· You won’t live out a perfect Christian life in front of your friend
· Your too immature to help anyone
· You might fail at this
· You might not be liked by the other person, and you (like most people) hate rejection
In all these things, we need to remember that God helps us overcome fear (cf. Psalm 53 and 56), failures, and weaknesses. Not only that, but he finds ways to work through us despite our shortcomings.
· 1 Corinthians 16:10-11: Paul did not condemn Timothy for his fear. Nor does God condemn us.
1 Corinthians 16:10–11 KJV
10 Now if Timotheus come, see that he may be with you without fear: for he worketh the work of the Lord, as I also do. 11 Let no man therefore despise him: but conduct him forth in peace, that he may come unto me: for I look for him with the brethren.
· 1 Corinthians 1:25-29: God works through the foolish, lowly, despised, and weak things of the world. In that description, we find that we are included.
1 Corinthians 1:25–29 KJV
25 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 26 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: 27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; 28 And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: 29 That no flesh should glory in his presence.
· 2 Timothy 1:7: God gives us the strength where we need it. He gave us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
· 1 Tim. 4:12: Remember what God has given you. Paul encourages Timothy to set an example in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12 KJV
12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
Also, remember that we are not perfect. When we stumble, we need to face our mistakes. We need to show those who we disciple how we deal with sin and failures.
Model confession, repentance, and prayer of thanks for forgiveness. If you sin against your friend, ask him/her for forgiveness. If you say something wrong, correct it next time. The world does not like to admit sin and weakness. We can model the Christian life by dealing with it in a straight-forward and honest manner.
Concluding Thoughts
Despite the fears involved, discipling is a very rewarding process—not only for the disciple, but also for the discipler. It’s also a crucial part of the expansion of God’s kingdom. Out of His own grace and love, God chose us to do this work! Sometimes we need to take the courage that comes from being an instrument of God, and just simply need to plunge in.
God will give us strength to do the work He called us to do. We should thank God for all that He has given us in Christ, and look forward to the work that He’s called us to—to pass all that we have been given on to other Christians.
And after all that I’ve said, if you are still scared to partake in a ministry of discipling, remember that ultimately, God doesn’t rely on us, but on his Word. The real power of discipling is in the power of God’s Word and its application in the lives of others.
THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK/3 PRACTICAL STEPS:
· Write out your own barriers and excuses for discipling. Consider the unbiblical reasons that cause you to avoid discipling. Take that list and do what we did today in this class—see if the reasons are reasonable in light of Scripture. You will probably find that most of your excuses can be thrown right out the window once the light of Scripture reflects on them.
· Think about your schedule, and think about how to make an insane schedule more sane so that you have time to start pouring into others. Look particularly for things that you can dump that are of lesser value. (Example: reading newspaper versus having a breakfast meeting with a friend every week.)
· Take some of the teaching from this core seminar or from the morning sermon, and begin to talk about it with a friend this week. Even if it is a very short conversation about truth that’s a step in the right direction. Start proving this week that you will no longer hoard the truth.
Galatians 5:13-14
Galatians 5:13–14 KJV
13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. 14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
[PAUSE FOR QUESTIONS.]
[1]Paul S. Rees as quoted by J. Oswald Sanders in Spiritual Leadership, (Chicago: Moody Press, © 1967, 1980 The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago), p29.
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