The Beauty of Forgiveness

Philemon  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  50:08
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Philemon 1-25

Philemon 1–25 ESV
Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our beloved fellow worker and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you. Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
Today, we are going to look at a very practical biblical concept. The concept of forgiveness.
This is one of God’s attributes, one that we are extremely grateful for. Without a God who is forgiving we would be without hope in this world.
But, praise God, He is forgiving. He even speaks of Himself as a forgiving God when He describes Himself to Moses in
Exodus 34:6–7 ESV
The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
This being a major part of God’s character, it is a major theme of scripture. And one of the most famous passages on forgiveness is a story that Jesus told to illustrate the hard hearts of the Jewish people in Luke 15.
The parable of the Prodigal Son tells a story that is very familiar to us:
A father who had two sons and one of the sons was weary of being in the father’s house and wanted to go and live on his own and take all of his inheritance.  And he did that, left the house, wasted all his substance in sin.  And then when he reached the low point of life, wanted to come back and be only a servant in his father’s house because being a servant in the father’s house would be better than being what he had become.  That son was not unlike many sons, greedy, anxious to get his hands on wealth he had not earned, so humanly foolish in the way that he spent it on fast living with those who exploited him and left him in misery when his money ran out.  But slowly he came to his senses because he was dying of hunger in a pig sty that really mirrored his life.  Then came the awakening.  He said, “My father’s servants live far better than I, and I will arise and go to my father.” 
It seems in the story of the prodigal son that the young man did not expect forgiveness.  He only expected some kind of mild tolerance.  All he wanted was the chance to say to his father, “I’ve been a bum and I just – I’m not worthy to be your son any longer, but could you just make me a slave?  I know I forfeited ever being a son, but could I just be a slave?  All I really want is a roof over my head and all I want is a little better food than pig slop.”  And so he started on the road back.  And it is then that Jesus teaches us how to forgive. 
The father didn’t even wait for the son to get there.  He ran to the son when he saw him in the distance.  His words were not unkind.  The Bible says he fell on his neck and kissed him repeatedly.  And so Jesus tells us what the heart of forgiveness is like.  It is eager, not reluctant.  It doesn’t even wait for the sinner to arrive.  In fact, when you see him coming far away, you run to meet him and you embrace him and kiss him.  And when he starts to say he’s sorry, you hardly listen to that, you don’t even give him time to finish, you just embrace him, love him, put him in your best outfit, put a ring on his finger, get the best meat out of freezer, cook up the best meal you can put together, start the music, rejoice with your friends, and proudly invite everybody to come to the celebration of your son that has come back.  That’s how God forgives.  That’s how He wants us to forgive. 
And really the point of the story is that the Jewish leaders were like the older brother who begrudged the forgiveness of the father for the returning son when he should have been joyful, but it also illustrates how God forgives us: extravagantly, openly, and generously.
And we are expected to forgive in the same way.
Peter asked our Lord how many times should we forgive someone who sins against us, thinking he was being generous when he offered 7 times as a possible amount. Christ told him 70 times 7. And then gave him a parable about a slave that wouldn’t forgive.
Matthew 18:23–35 ESV
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
When Christ gave the disciples a prayer to model their prayers after, He showed that we should ask forgiveness from God in the same way that we show forgiveness of others.
Paul also commended the Colossian church to be forgiving to one another
Colossians 3:13 ESV
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
And that brings us to our study today in the Epistle of Paul to Philemon.
Philemon 1–3 ESV
Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our beloved fellow worker and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Philemon was a wealthy man who lived in the small city of Colossae.
Most Christians at the time were either slaves or freemen (former slaves). Freemen usually lived in small apartments because that was all they could afford. But Philemon lived in a house that was big enough to house the local church and had slaves himself.
Paul also greets Apphia, Philemon’s wife, and Archippus, their son.
Notice how he calls Archippus a fellow soldier. Archippus is the only name mentioned in this household outside of this letter and that is in the book of Colossians.
Colossians 4:17 ESV
And say to Archippus, “See that you fulfill the ministry that you have received in the Lord.”
So we don’t know what kind of ministry, but we know that Archippus was in the ministry at Colossae in some capacity.
This was a very important family to Paul and to the church there so Paul thought that it was important for them to be an example of how believers should behave.
The other person in this story was Onesimus. Onesimus was a slave that worked for Philemon. He had run away and found himself in Rome. He had been converted by the gospel under Paul’s preaching and began to minister with Paul in Rome.
Whenever this book is addressed, the subject of slavery has to be addressed, because it has such a prominent place in the context.
There is a huge chasm between what chattel slavery of America was and what the slavery was at the time of the New Testament.
The scriptures do not speak of abolishing the slavery of the time. In fact, they use it as a picture of how we relate to our Lord, as servants and slaves. There has been an attempt by translators to stop the confusion by translating the word slave when it refers to Christians with words like bond-servant, but it has often caused more confusion as readers equate the word slave then with what slaves were in the West in the 18th and 19th centuries.
Many times in the New testament slaves we told to be obedient, submissive and loyal to their masters. Ephesians 6, Colossians 4, 1 Timothy 6 and
1 Peter 2:18 ESV
Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust.
So early Christianity and the New Testament don’t attack the institution directly, the principles of the Christian life attack abuses of any social system, including slavery.
MacArthur says:
Slavery was so much a part of the Roman Empire, the whole society was built on it, and by the time of Christ, slavery wasn’t necessarily what we think it is today.  It had been modified.  There had been some laws passed and in very many cases, slaves were treated very well.  In fact, if you read any of the ancient literature around the time of Christ, you will find that most writers will say a man was better off a slave than he was a runaway slave, very often better off a slave than he was even a freeman, because as a slave he was assured of care and food and a place to sleep.  And if he had a good and kind master, life was very prosperous for him. 

The Context of the Call to Forgiveness

This really is an incredible story.
Paul ministered in the church at Ephesus for 3 years and somewhere in this time a man from a close-by city named Philemon heard the gospel and was gloriously saved.
Philemon had a slave named Onesimus and some years after Philemon’s conversion decided to run away, maybe because his master’s family had become Christian’s.
When he ran away, he apparently stole something from Philemon.
Now although slavery was much different in Rome than in the modern west, run away slaves came under harsh punishment. Imprisonment, beatings, even crucifixion were some punishments that would be given to run aways.
The Romans would often take a hot brand and put a brand in the forehead of the letter “F” for fugitivus, or fugitive.
Now slaves in the Roman system had a lot of rights. They could be educated, they were provided room and board, they were taken care of medically. Many of them were like part of the family. They educated their masters children, they took care of the household finances, they could marry and have their own families, they could own their own property.
But many still ran and a lot of times they would end up in very bad situations.
Slaves would run to big cities in order to hide from detection. They would be homeless, and often become criminals.
And so we find Onesimus, in Rome hiding from his master in who knows what kind of situation.
And in the providence of God, in a city of around a million people, he hears of a preacher named Paul, who he probably remembers his old master talking about.
Paul was imprisoned waiting to have Caesar hear his case, but there was apparently some flexibility that allowed him to minister in Rome.
And somehow these two meet and Paul sees Onesimus, the runaway slave and thief become a Christian.
Onesimus becomes a helper to Paul and they become very close.
But Paul knew something had to be done about the sin that Onesimus committed against his now brother in Christ Philemon.
He knew that Onesimus had to go back and repent of running away and stealing, he had to go back and ask for forgiveness.
And so, an opportunity arises for Paul to send Onesimus back to his master. He wrote some letters to the church at Colossians and the church at Ephesus. So he would write one more letter, this one not to a church but to a person, this letter to Philemon he wrote in order to help facilitate the reconciliation of 2 brothers in Christ.
And now, because of the inspiration and preservation of Paul’s letter, we have the letter today to help us see how real believers live out the call that Christ has made for us to forgive like we were forgiven.
You have to put yourself in the sandals of two men, one who was wronged greatly and one that did the harm.
Because these are both no doubt situations that you have faced or are facing or will face soon. And this little letter can help you deal with forgiveness in a Christ-like way.

Philemon’s Christian Character v. 4-7

Philemon 4–7 ESV
I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.
Here Paul, as in many of his letters, encourages the recipient that he remembers them and prays for them.
This is a great reminder of the Christian privilege and duty to pray for one another.
Paul knows God uses His children’s prayer to do His work in this world and it is very important to him that his friends know that he prays for them.
Paul will encourage Philemon to forgive and receive Onesimus back as a brother by reminding him of the maturity and Christian character that Philemon has grown into.
Paul met Philemon way back when he was in Ephesus and Philemon was converted, but Paul had also heard from other believers that Philemon had grown into a mature Christian and was a blessing to the church in Colossae. He must have heard reports from the messenger Epaphras who gave him reports on the churches, and even from Onesimus himself who sees his master in a new light since becoming a Christian himself.
So what are the characteristics of a believer who should have a forgiving spirit?
Love for other believers
It’s interesting to note that the first two, Love for Others and Faith in Christ appear to be mixed up in the verse.
This is a Greek way of writing called a Chiasm… it means cross writing where you say two things in one order and explain them in reverse order. Just a clever way of bringing attention to something.
This is something that is given to us as Christians. It is a mark all believers, that we love one another.
1 John 3:21–24 ESV
Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.
And this is something that Philemon exhibited in his life.
Faith in Christ
Another differentiating thing between the unbeliever and the believer is faith in Christ.
So how can we think of faith in Christ working in this situation?
Trusting that whatever happens to me in this life will be made right in the next is a great peace to have when this life and the people in it are so messed up.
This is the application of
Romans 8:28 ESV
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Sharing or Fellowship
Paul prayed for the sharing of Philemon’s faith, the NASB says fellowship of his faith
This concept of sharing faith or having fellowship of faith is a uniquely Christian thing.
And I know we’ve talked about it many times before, but nothing else can truly unite people, truly bring them together, like sharing the position of having Christ as your savior and Lord.
No matter what category the world puts you in sharing in Christ, or having fellowship in Christ, is the thing that can mediate all the temporary differences of this life.
I have been in church services in Japan where I couldn’t understand what the preacher was saying, but I knew what was going on, they were worshipping the same Lord that I have.
Now that Onesimus was a believer, there was no longer a wall of status, wealth, or position between them. Christ has broken those barriers down.
Galatians 3:27–29 ESV
For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.
This is the power, or effectiveness, that Paul talks about.
Christian maturity grows in us when we have true fellowship with believers, when we can see past the temporary differences and problems between us.
Concern for Others
Paul heard of Philemon’s concern for others and was comforted by the fact that the church in Colossae was blessed to have such a man in their fellowship.
He desired to be a blessing to others with the things that God had blessed him with.
Paul was about to ask Philemon to forgive this man who had done so much wrong towards him, and he was laying the groundwork for why he knew Philemon would forgive him.
Paul had established what kind of Christian Philemon was, now he’s going to put that to work on his relationship with someone who has wronged him.

Paul’s Appeal for Onesimus vs. 8-22

Philemon 8–22 ESV
Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.
Paul could use his authority as an Apostle to command Philemon to take him back, but he doesn’t.
He says, accordingly, or because of all the character traits I know that we just talked about, I know I’m not going to have to command you.
I know because of your maturity in Christ, and your love for me and the brethren, that you will listen to what I have to say.
What a testimony that Philemon had!
Paul appeals to him out of love to take him back and forgive him.
He takes the pleading out of Onesimus’ hands, Paul is the one pleading, not as an apostle, but as an old man and a prisoner.
Paul was probably around 60, which wouldn’t be considered that old these days, but you have to remember that, in those days, 60 was old.
Onesimus’ Testimony
Philemon 10–11 ESV
I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.)
This is how Paul talked about those that came to Christ under his ministry. He called them his children.
He spoke this way of Timothy as well.
Onesimus made a profession under the ministry of Paul.
But his life was changed as well.
A disgruntled slave cannot be very helpful. But now that Christ had come and changed his heart he was no longer a lazy, selfish person. You know that he has been changed because the thing that he was known for before, is no longer their.
There was a tax collector named Zaccheus who was so short in order to just see Jesus pass by he had to climb into a sycamore tree. But Jesus called him down and went to his house and ate with him. In that meeting Zaccheus was given faith and became a true believer.
Luke 19:7–10 ESV
And when they saw it, they all grumbled, “He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.” And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold.” And Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, since he also is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”
All the people couldn’t believe that Christ would eat with a tax collector. They were traitors to the Jews. But Zacchaeus truly repented of his sin and paid back what he took wrongly four-fold and gave half of everything he had left to the poor.
Jesus saw the truth of his conversion right away, because here was a Jew giving away his money!
God’s Works in Mysterious Ways
Philemon 12–16 ESV
I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
Paul is sending Onesimus back because he knows it’s the right thing to do, even though he loves Onesimus and Onesimus has been a great blessing to him.
I want to focus on verse 15
Philemon 15 ESV
For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever,
Paul saw the whole situation as a work of the providence of God.
Onesimus leaving Philemon was God’s mysterious way of working things out to get His will accomplished on the earth.
God took a bad situation and made it work for His own glory.
Think of all the things that God did in this situation.
Onesimus was saved from eternal hell.
Paul was blessed by being able to evangelize him.
Paul was helped and comforted by Onesimus in his time of need.
Paul was able to give glory to God to those around him for God’s work through Onesimus.
The Holy Spirit used this situation to write this book through the hand’s of Paul that has been preserved and read throughout all of Christian history.
The letter has blessed the church up till this day: bestcommentaries.com has 98 English commentaries on Philemon, much less those in other languages and in other times and the 1000’s of sermons preached on the book have been used by God to build His church.
If God can take the circumstances of a nobody Roman slave and turn it around in so many ways, maybe that should change our outlook on forgiving others!
Paul Offers Restitution
Philemon 17–22 ESV
So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.
When Onesimus left it put Philemon in a bad spot. Not only does it seem that Onesimus took some money from him, but it would also cost Philemon to hire someone else to take his place.
Restitution is always an essential component to forgiveness. It is not wrong to be paid back something you are owed. It is also not wrong to be gracious and not require anything back.
Paul understands that and offers Onesimus’ restitution from his own wallet.
He even writes with the sense that this is a legally binding contract.
Philemon 19 ESV
I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self.
The Apostle is confident that Onesimus will be forgiven and that Philemon will be even more gracious to him than Paul is asking.
His faith in him is great.
In the last verse before Paul closes the letter, we also see how strong his faith is in God and how much he believes God uses prayer by telling Philemon to get a room ready, because he knows God is going to answer his prayer to release him and he will be able to come and see him.

Conclusion

And here Paul closes the letter with his normal greetings and blessings
Philemon 23–25 ESV
Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers. The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
Forgiveness is a trait we can share with our Lord.
He has forgiven us so much, how can we not give forgiveness to those that sin against us?
What amazing way can God use the situation you’re struggling with another brother to bring about His will and His glory in your life?
May God grant us the Christian maturity of Philemon to forgive others who have wronged us!
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