When Family Hurts, God's Grace Heals

The idea of this year's series that there is Grace for broken families want to read to you from Matthew 1 1 through 6. And hear the genealogy of Jesus Matthew Reitz it this way says the book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ son of David Son of Abraham Abraham was the father of Isaac and Isaac the father of Jacob and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers and Judah the father of Perez and zerah by Tamar. and Perez, the father of has run and has been the father of RAM and RAM the father of a minute ab in a minute ab the father of nation and Nation the father of Solomon and Solomon the father of Boaz by Rahab and Boaz the father of obid by Ruth and open the father of Jesse and Jesse the father of David the king and David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah

these first for women listed in this genealogy.

Tamar Rahab Ruth she's not even names called the wife of Uriah Bathsheba.

Each has a unique story. A story of house in could have been their defining moment.

But in each case God's grace changed their story. We often get a feeling like our Brokenness which could be caused by the sin of others that could be caused by ourselves. Is that broken? This makes us unable to be used by God, but these four women highlight specifically how God's grace is great until today. We're going to look at the first of these four women Tamar Mac. Why? Why is she even listed? I find it interesting that all for the women that are listed have a pretty hard story behind them at the women who get listed are not the easy points in scripture to read this matter fact for some if you hear this morning with small kids. I'm going to read from parts of Genesis 38:8 that you may have some explaining to do when you get home cuz he's stories are not always child-friendly. Why is Tamar even listed why bring up or we're going to see is a horrible story of neglect and deception story of sin.

The reason is we talked about earlier.

Is it Christ is born for that? He is born to provide Grace for broken even in the Old Testament where they could not see it yet. They all they could do was look forward to the day when God would make it right but we live on this side of the Old Testament until we get to see it in a new way the way in which Christ intervenes to help deal with sin through his grace. We pray for us as we get started and then we'll jump into Genesis 38.

Heavenly father. Thank you for the coming of Christ the way in which he deals with everything that he needs to deal with. He deals with our sin. He binds up our Brokenness.

And he uses us to bring the Glorious news that Christ has come to our neighbors and the Nations. Lord I pray this morning as we look at Tamar story and see the hurt that is there. That is as deep as the hurt runs. We would see that you were Grace runs deeper that your love is stronger and your ability to keep your promises is greater than anything Earthly people can throw at it.

Until we pray you'd be with us during this time in Jesus name. Amen.

Genesis 38:8 occurs at an interesting point in scripture if you read Genesis 37 were talking about Joseph in Genesis 39 you're talking about Joseph. So it almost feels like genesis 38 kinda comes out of nowhere at us to provide us this very strange story of Judah and Tamar Genesis 38:8 for us. It happened to the at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turn decide to a certain adullamite whose name was hero there Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name is Joshua. He took her and went into her and she conceived and Boris son and he called his name.

She conceived again and Boris son and he called his name Onan. Yet again, she bore a son and she called his name to Sheila. Judah was in hesped when she bore him and Judith took a wife for her his firstborn and her name was Tamar. What are cheetahs firstborn was wicked in the sight of the Lord and the Lord put him to death? And you decide to own and go into your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law for her to raise up Offspring for your brother. But no new The Offspring cannot be his. So anyway, whenever he went to his brother's wife, you would waste his semen on the ground. So it's not to give Offspring to his brother. He did was wicked in the sight of the Lord Lord put him to death also. And you decide to Tamar his daughter-in-law remain a widow in your father's house till Shayla. My son grows up for a fear that he would die like his brother's so Tamar went and remained in her father's house. As we start to hear the story all sorts of questions probably pop in your head about what the world is really going on here. How does all this play out the first thing you need to remember in this story? Is where we're at in scripture where in Genesis 38 we have not had the slavery in Egypt yet to come out of we have not had the Ten Commandments given. If not at any of the levitical law all laid out, this is very early in the history of God's people.

And so what would have been known at this point the promise the promise to Abraham? But he would have a son and it threw him is his descendants would become as numerous as the grains of sand.

And that promise was passed down to Isaac and from Isaac and Jacob and Jacob would have let Judah and his brothers know and here is Judah in that line of people set to fulfill the promise that God had given to Abraham.

So some of the things that are going on here, we know cause heartache and pain. Ballade not been laid down for that them at that point to understand it. For instance as we start the story find at Judah is leaving his brother. So where we're at in history here in terms of the story of Judah and Joseph and everything Judah led the Rebellion to sell his brother into slavery. That's happened. He's now been taken down to Egypt and the stories working out down there in the meantime while his little brother is growing up and having all the things that are happening to Joseph Downing Egypt Judah rather than staying with the family. He went down from his brothers. So headed down from where they were living towards Egypt. And turned aside $200 might this would be a person of the land not part of the promised people but there weren't a whole lot of them around yet. His name is Hira. So he's hanging out with his friend. He finds she was daughter. She's a Canaanite other words not part of God's chosen people either and he decides he likes her and wants to make her his wife now. Remember the trouble that this causes later on we did a series on Nehemiah earlier this year and in our Nehemiah series we talked about the grief that was continually cause to God's people when they married foreign women and Drew them away from God and towards something else now at this point in Israel's history. There's not a whole lot of other people around. So it can be understood why he might marry a foreigner. Problem for him is that it seems that this marriage despite the fact that it produces Three Sons for him. Is not a marriage that raises up the next generation of godly people. Instead he ends up with sons who are wicked and evil. We don't know necessarily if it's because of the way Judah parented them. We don't know if it was just in their hearts. We don't know if it was the influence of their mom. All we know is the family does not grow up healthy.

We're not told the way in which was wicked, but we know that both are and Onin War.

so the struggle comes

this family has boys are supposed to pass down the the the promised descendants. And so he finds a bride for his first born son name is Tamar. Again, she's not part of the Israelite family. She's an outsider as well. Which in and of itself should say something remarkable to us when it comes to Jesus family line. It's not ashamed of any of the people that are part of his family. They weren't originally in it. They weren't originally part of God's line, but God had a plan to bring Taymar in and use her in a powerful way. Wasn't so helpful. What Judah did because Jude apparently was not trusting God very well when he got married and raised his evil boys, but Tamar shows has something different in her behavior.

third eyes and he's got no one to carry on the name. So levirate marriage, which is an idea at the time that said hey descendants are really important to keep the family line going. What you do then is one of the brother-in-law's of the Bride would come and take her as his wife as well. But the kids said they would have would be considered kids for her first husband so that his line could continue.

The own and gets called in at this point says hey do your job. Take your brother's wife raise up Offspring for him. Not even necessarily doing it cuz you love your sister-in-law do it for your brother?

He refuses to take matters into his own own hands to make sure that he does not raise up. Offspring for his brother

and it seems the connection here is pretty clear because he would not do what he was supposed to do because God although they didn't all know this God had chosen Taymar at that point to be the woman through which the line would be carried on and because Onin wouldn't do what he was supposed to do. He was considered evil and he gets put to death. And now we see where Jude is Judah has always had problems with faithfulness and trusting and now fear rather than Faith rules Judah. He is afraid he's going to lose his third son.

I'm so he tells Tamar. Hey go act like a widow and live in your dad's house. Get away from me and my kids for a while. I'll come get you when my youngest son is grown up. Then you know you can raise up kids from there.

The problem is she goes and does that. But now she has a problem because while she's waiting Judah is not keeping his end of the deal.

So what is Tamar's predicament while she's in a family that has been ruled by deception for years think back to the history of Judas family.

We're in the middle of the narrative about Joseph. You don't have to go very far to find that Judas family is a little messed up. They got jealous of their brother. They wanted to get rid of him cuz dad liked him better. They sell them off into slavery. Not exactly good thing then they go back and lie to their dad and say hey got eaten by wild animals. Here's a scope that you made him.

What think of judah's dad Jacob? Remember the story of Jacob and Esau. So his granddad Isaac had these two boys and deception played in there in that Jacob stole the birthright from Esau.

So the deception continues from Jacob down to Judah. But they can't even had it happen to him himself. He goes to get married. Wants to marry Rachel and ends up getting Leia and the whole thing's a mess because his soon-to-be father-in-law deceives him.

Can we come across Tamar's predicament here and how she handles it realize she fits in real well to this family in that sense. Cuz they are a family full of deception and she gets right in the middle of it. marichu verses 12 through 24

in the course of time the wife of Judah she was daughter died. So now she was a widow Judaism Widow himself when Judah was comforted. He went up to timna to his sheep shears. He and his friend here are the dolomites was friendly went down to see originally they're going to go hang out and see the sheep shears. And when Tamar was told your father-in-law's going up to timna to Shear a sheep.

She takes off her widow's garments and covers for is Health with a veil wrapping herself up and sat at the entrance to an a.m. Which is on the road to timna for she saw that Shayla was grown up and he had not been given to her in marriage. When she would have saw her he thought she was a prostitute for she had her face covered. He turned her at the roadside and said come let me come into you free did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said what will you give me that? You may come into me? He answered. I will send you a young goat from the flock and she said if you give me a pledge until you send it. He said what pledge shall I give you? She replied your Signet your cord and your staff that's in your hand. So he gave them to her and went into her and she conceived by him then she arose and went away and taking off her veil she put back on the garments of her widowhood and Judah sent the young goat by his friend the adullamite to take back the Pledge from the woman's hand. He did not find her knee ask the men of the place. Where's the cult prostitute that was that an invite on the roadside and they said no call prostitute has been here. So we turn to Judah and said I have not found her also the men of the place that no cold process has been here and you replied let her keep the things as a runner. We will be laughed at you. See I sent this young goat and you did not find her. About three months later. Judah was told Tamar your daughter-in-law's been in moral moreover. She's pregnant by immorality and Judah said bring her out and let her be burnt.

Now we see Kmarts predicament. Tamar is in a rough spot. She knows she is entitled to raise up Offspring through Shayla and the Judas with holding him. So she puts on the deception. Of waiting for him along the roadside as if she was one of the occult prostitutes. What really amazes me in this story is she knew her father-in-law's sinfulness? Well enough to know that this trick might actually work which in and of itself says something even more horrible about Judah.

But the trick works. She plays on Judas own sinfulness. And gets pregnant to keep her husband's lineage going.

But she was also wise in her deception cuz she gets the pledge from him. He's not just going to take him at his word. I'll send you a go. Probably because she knows Judah and his tendency to lie. She says that yeah, that sounds good. How about a pledge until you bring the go? he asked what she wants and she tells him and he gives it to her

and then goes back to her father's house in plays the Widow and I was a widow she was not supposed to marry anyone else right now she's supposed to be pure at this point grieving the loss of her husband or husbands in the case of Onan as well if you throw him in the mix and so now it's found out that her her little plan that only she knows about worked she has Offspring she's got inside of her she's pregnant And instead of understanding what's going on? The Judas response is killer.

Tamar suffering at the hand of Judah and his family is intense.

abuse neglect

threats of violence

Honestly, I'm not sure why she wanted to keep this lineage going. If I were her I probably would have thought great. I'm just going to be in my dad's house cuz our family is not as messed up is that one is and I'll be thankful. I got away from all those crazy people. So the only thing I can come up with as to why she would have stayed is because the Lord had put it in her heart to stay in that family her desire to raise up Offspring for her dead husband. The only good reason for that is somehow she must have heard the promise that was given to Abraham Isaac and Jacob and said I'm part of that. She must have had some internal sense that she was involved in this plan in the unique way because otherwise it makes no sense for her to have stayed and put on this great deception and I don't want to hide her sin. Where what she did was wrong. It was deception. It was in Morality. So let's not sugarcoat in pretended Tamar was just the best person in the world. She wasn't but what she did she did without an understanding of any sort of levitical laws and things like that. She did this in light of what she thought was best for what she thought her end goal should be so as much as it would be easy to look back on the rest of the Old Testament in the New Testament in our modern ethics and say hey, yep. Judy was right. She was wrong on this one. It's understand that as much as we know it wasn't right.

Don't think her intention was to be evil. Part of the reason. I don't think that is because God used her through it. He redeemed the sinfulness of it for his purposes rather than what he did with her and own in which was put them to death for their wickedness.

So where does the grace come in? We have to understand it verse 24 if she doesn't figure out how to get out of this death comes and that's it. That's her end. So the grace steps in and that she still shows up in Jesus birth narrative in his genealogy because God intervened. 325 through 30 and see how he does that. So Judy wanted her to be brought out and burns and has she was being brought out. She sent word to her father-in-law by the man to whom these belong. I am pregnant and she said please identify who is these are the Cygnet and the cord and the staff?

And Judah identified them. And said, she is more righteous than I since I did not give her to my son Shayla and he did not know her again. On the timer for labor came there were twins in her womb and when she was in labor one put out of hand in the Midwife took it and tied a Scarlet thread on his hand saying this one came out first but if your back is Hannah behold his brother came out and she said what a breach you have made for yourself there for his name was called Perez afterwards. His brother came out with a Scarlet thread on his hand and his name was Zara an interesting that in light of all the weird family dynamics that go on even these two twins have a struggle getting into the world as to who's going to come out first remind you of Jacob and Esau in the first born second born Dynamic that was going on there. You got the firstborn trying to come out and then I'll soon as I know I'm going first and he ends up getting credit for that and being used in God's family line. The Judas line to Jesus is preserved through Perez. One of the two sons that God allowed Tamar to birth. But also of great importance Judah himself was brought to repentance from his sin. Mickey represents a purification of God's people here. He rightly acknowledges that she was more righteous than him in this whole process. The only reason her deception was necessary is because of his lying.

Again, it doesn't excuse her behavior, but it does help us understand how Judah saw his sin in this event.

I point this out because part of what's gray when God comes along and redeem someone in a family. Is it often impacts more people than just the immediate people involved. Here's what I mean by that in the early part before chapter 38. We've got Judah selling his brother into slavery and all this sort of stuff. That was just evil towards Joseph. When we kick back into this narrative again with Joseph the next time Judah comes along and sees his brother and his brother says Hey going to set something up here works it out. So the Ben gets framed for stealing stuff, but Ben's the baby boy and and and Jude is got to take him back to dad. So he he says take me instead of him. Let him go back. Why? I believe it's because Judah Had a Heart Change in chapter 38. He was not the same man. He was pretty chapter 38. He's not the same deceptive evil selfish person. He was before when he goes back and it and gets himself into the narrative again of Joseph instead. He's the self-sacrificial one the one who is willing to give up himself to save Baby Ben.

And so God worked through this situation with Tamar to change Judah to keep the line alive of the whole family cuz they all had to come down to Egypt to get food from Joseph. And so God change Judas heart in time for him to be able to reconcile with his brother and save the whole family.

It is amazing what God can do when he intervenes in someone's life.

There's also a long-term issue here. Paymar could not see how or why all this happened to her.

All she knew is that she was part of a messed up family. And God spared her and change the heart of her father-in-law.

He was right in saying she's more righteous. And because she was pressing on towards what she thought was the correct result, but she didn't know she was setting up for the future Messiah.

God did

what she did not know God new. And the effect of that is it even though she didn't necessarily see all the atonement for her family sins that she was a part of me. There's no apology listed here. Right? It's not like Judah comes out in and says, I'm sorry. Here's all this not only comes out and says is she's more righteous than me. And then he moves on.

She couldn't see the full effect of what she had done and what God's grace that intervened at that key point in her life was going to do for the future.

But long-term God knew and he was working his plan.

So where does this leave us? God's grace is sufficient. We can trust the even if you come from a family that is messed up and hurtful. God can still redeem. Who can he redeem? God can still redeem the members of your family that have been hurtful as he did with Judah.

That can be one of the hardest things to accept sometimes depending on how our family is Heracross. To think that God's grace could extend to that person.

We also have to remember God's grace extends to us to

to the one who is the victim in the hurt family. God's grace is sufficient for them as well.

Tamar would have known she was not perfect. But God spared her. She would have definitely known Judah was not perfect. God spared him and what it can remind us is it God's grace runs deeper than any sin in our families.

I want you to think about that because for some here who are listening. That's a hard thing to accept. Can his grace really be greater than all our sin is to him says?

Can it really cover that? The pus you understand my family is a hot mess and we have been for years. His grace is sufficient for that. He can change that person those people that whole side of the family that you don't even see anymore. Cuz it how messed up it is. He can change them to and so is we going to this Advent season where were anticipating the coming of Christ? What I wanted to be able to do is also anticipate the cork that Christ came to do.

Christ was born to deal with the Brokenness by offering Grace to all who come

and so it should drive our prayers for our family members for those that have been hurtful to us in the past. It should drive us in prayer that God would redeem them. And the God would redeem every sinful moment that we've had to endure by them and use it for his good purposes.

I do believe that Tamar is present with the Saints in heaven at this point Canaanite though. She was because she trusted the god of Abraham Isaac and Jacob. And looked forward to what was to come the Fulfillment of the promise that she saw herself a part of and for many of us. We may never see during our lifetime how it is that the hurt that we've experienced is used by God and Powerful ways for his glory. Not only may you not see it soon. You may not get to see it at all in this life.

But there's a reason why in Revelation when Christ Returns the second time that the Advent were now looking forward to still it says he wipes away every tear and every heartache. Because he does not let those tears fall in vain even now.

It's all part of how he will in the end use all things for his glory and restore all things and make it right.

Hurt that you have felt and will feel and maybe even cause towards others. Is a hurt that he can redeem.

And in the end we will stand with uncareful eyes. Before the Lord when we see what he has done.

Take a moment and pray. If you have specific people on your heart that you want to pray for in light of this please do.

If you come from a family where you like a tweet, we we did everything like that going on. We were perfectly and everything like that going on know that they're brothers and sisters your viewers here in this room and online that can't say that and pray for the hurt of others that God would show his grace strong in them as well. Let's turn to prayer and afterwards I will close us. but Edward