Glorifying God In Your Marriage (1 Peter 3:1-7)

This morning. We're looking at 1st Peter 3127 and everyone says haha. This is one of those famous marriage passages and sometimes sometimes people pastors are tempted to delve into these passages because they really appeal to the felt needs usually people that are married or interested in tips and trips and text and you can usually work in a little humor about difference between men and women and it really appeals to felt need so it may surprise you to hear me say that First Peter chapter 3 verses 1 to 7 is not about marriage. It is not about marriage you say Yes, it is vs126 are directly addressed to wives. About how they relate to their husband's verse 7 is directly addressed to husband's about how they relate to their wise. How could this not be about marriage? Well, it isn't primarily about marriage when you see the structure of the passage. This is passages using marriage as an example of something bigger. It does talk about marriage and we're going to get some very helpful truth about marriage. But marriage isn't the point. This is part of a much bigger structure UC verse 7 first word likewise always referring to something previous. It's referring to the wives verse 1. What's the first word of first one? Likewise all that's referring to something previous. What's it referring to servants submit to your Masters, but that's just an example of chapter 2 verse 1 be under Authority and that is just an example of chapter 2 verse 12. Let me just point out what I'm saying here. The point of the whole passage is how to have conduct that is Honorable. That will do three things to remember this from a couple of summers ago when we have conducted his honorable. It does three things first it honors the Lord we do it for the Lord's sake II its silences those who would like to slander the face and third it reveals who God is we have Good Conduct to do those three things to honor the Lord. to silence those who would slander the face and to reveal God Good Conduct. Can you give me some examples of that? Why sure I can says Peter if you're a citizen of a country. obey the government Can you give me another example sure I can if you're a servant. Obey your master. When you do these things your conduct will play out in such a way that three important things were accomplished. The Lord is honored. The slanderers are silenced and you reveal God. I just wish there was some other examples but I hope there are if you are a citizen do this if you're a servant do that, if you're a wife, if you're a wife, there are things you can do in York on duct that will honor the Lord silence the swindlers and lead people to Christ. If you're a husband there are examples of the way. You can conduct yourself that will honor the Lord silence the slanderers and reveal God to others and that's what we're going to see today. We're going to see what wives can do and by the way, I know this isn't Socially popular, but if I can just summarize what it says two wives the advice that we're going to hear two wives is the Beautiful. Wives be beautiful for your husband's.

and as you make yourself beautiful for your husband's you will honor the Lord. silence the slanderers and you will reveal God. Husbands, would you like to know what contact you can do? Adore your wife just to tore her just absolutely give yourself to her door. Because when you do that conduct some really important things happened. The Lord is our honored the slanderers are silenced and God is revealed. So 3127 is about marriage but is about marriage as an example of Godly conduct. How does it play out? If you're a citizen chapter 3 the beginning or chapter 2 the beginning? How does it play out? If you're a servant the next paragraph? How does it play out? If your wife how does it play on if your husband that's what we're going to see today. So let's just drove right in. Likewise wives be subject to your own husbands. Friends, this is so unacceptable today. And we can't shrink from what the word says what the Bible says. The Bible says, we will not be pushed off this point, but I do want to point out that the Bible do we want to go as far as the Bible but no further. This verse the south of us says something but it doesn't say some other things. Can I just point out three things? First of all, this first is not about male-female. This first does not say females submit yourselves to males. That's not the audience hear this first doesn't even say why does submit yourselves to husbands? It doesn't say that what it says is wives submit yourself to your own husbands. This is not a male-female thing males and females are not equivalent. There are equal however into spheres in only two spheres the Bible has defined male and female roles those two spheres are the church and the home, but other than that, there are no male or female rules if a Police as a female police officer pulls me over I need to submit to her. That's not part of the male-female thing that is outside the home that is outside the church if I go to court and the judge is a woman I need to submit to her. If I'm being interviewed if our prime minister is a woman I need to submit to her. This is not a major female male-female thing. This does not say females. Please submit to males. It says wives submit to your own husbands. Point number one point number two This verse is address to wise not husbands very often a husband will read this and be invited into the evaluation roll wife. Let me tell you how I think you're doing on this. This is not a command for a husband. This is between the Lord and the wife she needs to decide what she's going to do about this. This is not an invitation husband's for us to silently be our wise. Holy spirit's to evaluate their obedience to this first. This is something that the Lord is saying to the wife and the wife has to decide whether she's going to obey or not. Obey. Just a word of wisdom. Husbands, this is not what the scripture say. I am. I am now off the authority to scriptures on just showing wisdom out of my own observations and own lives husbands, the the effort you were going to put into evaluating the quality of your wife submission would be better invested in asking yourself. Am I a man that she would want to submit to the attention you were going to put on evaluating your wife's heart would be much wiser placed in evaluating your own heart Point. Number one. This is not the male-female thing. This is wise with their own husbands Point number to this versus to the wives. If you look at the Greek, this is an imperative command. It is a command but the subject does not husbands. It is wise this is you shouldn't open other people's mail. This is something that the Lord is saying to your wife shall have to decide And point number three is this whole idea of the subject when in our society when we hear be subject we hear inferiority. Why is should be subject to their husbands, you know, why because women are inferior in a lot of different ways if that's not what it's saying. That is not what be subject in. The Bible means is a matter of fact in John chapter 5 Christ says he submits to the father. Jesus Christ the son of God fully God equal with the father voluntarily gives the Father the gift of submission. Why not because he's inferior, but because as he submits to the Father the Plan of Salvation can roll out to do the work of God, it is appropriate that the son submits to the father and just several chapters later in John 14. The holy spirit's submits to the sun. I'm going to send the Holy Spirit. He's going to glorify me. He's often called the spirit of Christ. Why because the holy spirit is inferior know the Holy Spirit voluntarily submit to the son who voluntarily submits to the father. This is not a inferiority. This is a voluntary gift of submission so that the work of God can be accomplished. Free points in or opening phrase then the verse continues so that even if some do not obey the word they may be won without a word by the conduct of their why. Just two points here one is we're looking for an escape Clause. You don't servants be subject to your Masters and less they're real jerks. Then you don't have to know that's not the Escape Clause even if some of them are unjust remember that were done just means bent even if your master is bending Justice we need to submit to them. But in this case you would say well submit to your husband as long as he's a Believer as long as he's doing the right that no. No the Bible assumes that someone pee. This is not the Escape Clause but there is an escape clause and it's in this little word one. When we read this as 21st century Christians, we are not surprised first century Christians would be very surprised. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. The wife is going to try to win the husband to her God. That's crazy talk. That's just crazy talk because in the first century it was assumed that the wife would take on the religion of the husband is mad if I can we have writings from the first century one philosopher wrote a little booklet called advice to the bride and groom. And in the advice to the bride part, he writes this is first century is as your when you become your husband's wife. You should get rid of all your friends and adopt his his friends are not your friends. And as you know wife the closest friends that a man has are his gods. So you should adopt his guys. This is totally countercultural is a matter of fact in this Century. They had something called this idea called the right cuz I could only find it in writing. I couldn't get anyone to actually say it Patriot possessed us which I think is Latin for the father's power. I think Patriot is the root word of patriarchal the father's power the father decided the father decided what religion we are that this father decided how we're going to worship. Well here we are be subject to your husbands, but not is it you have to disobey God. If he chooses a false not win him over to the right God and how do you do that by beating them over the head relentlessly nagging him being a leaky faucet? No, no, no. No, there's a secret weapon here. Our secret weapon isn't pummeling people our secret weapon is Godly conduct. The Proverbs say the fruit of the righteous Tree of Life. What is the root? What is the fruit of the righteous? What is the tree of life? It's capturing Souls. when we when we live a righteous life It capture Souls people find a captivating, you know, we are made in the image of God. We're falling were sinful. It's Marge, but we are still made in the image of God. Even Fallen people when they see righteousness are attracted to it. Our secret weapon is not demonstrations. Although there are good reasons to demonstrate. I'm not saying we shouldn't demonstrate we are in a democracy. We have every right to express herself, but that is not our secret weapon. Our secret weapon is not forming voting blocks. I'm not saying we shouldn't do that. I'm not saying that's a bad idea. I'm just saying that's not our secret weapon probably contact. That's why James says who was wise and understanding among you by his Good Conduct. Let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom our secret weapon.

Is Good Conduct if we are to transform our society, we will not do it by political action. We will not do it by demonstrations. We will not do it by voting in the people that we want. All those are all completely valid political expression the way we will transform our society is invite people into a relationship with Christ. And just let that permeate it's like yeast it'll bacon and our society will be completely changed and that their husbands will be respond the same way. They don't respond to nagging but they do respond to respectful and pure conduct. There is something inherently attractive about respectful and pure conduct. And again, I'm not exaggerating scripture for this paragraph. I'm just sharing you with you my life experience. When we show respect to other people. We give them something to lose. Men want to be respected. They want to be loved to but most men would respect would choose respect if they could only have two one. They would choose respect over love and when we give them respect they want to behave in such a way that that will maintain one of the little tricks. I learned as a parent is praise your children a lot more than you correct them. Cuz if you can catch him being good you were so honest you were so diligent you were so that you're giving them something to lose your saying I esteem you I hold you in high regard. I applaud your behavior. They don't want to lose that they will continue to behave in a way that earned your respect There's Something Beautiful. There's something wonderful about respectful and pure conduct. And that's not only true for wives. That's true. We should all be doing this first Peter and next next week's passage will read this. But in your hearts honor Christ the lord as holy this is not addressed a wise. This is address to Christians. But in your hearts honor Christ the lord as holy always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for the reason for the hope that is in you yet. Do it with gentleness and respect. Those are our secret weapons. Those are the doorways Into the Heart of a person.

We I have seen many apologetic presentation, you know, you have a debate between an atheist and a Christian and so forth and I'll tell you. It's just my own commentary here. I've watched a hundred YouTube videos where the atheist and the Christian go out at and the atheist. Do you mind me saying this isn't part of the sermons that just my opinion The Atheist position is inherently irrational. It is inherently weak. So the Christian always pummels The Atheist because It's easy to argue when the facts are on your side and the atheist at the end always says, you're right. You're right. I want to accept Christ. You never said that ever. Because the secret to a person's heart is not beating them in an argument. It is gentleness it is respect and these are the secret weapons of a Godly wife.

Do not let the adorning the external the braiding of hair in the pudding on a gold jewelry or clothing you wear. This is not saying that women shouldn't beautify their bodies and braid their hair. It is just saying this is not the primary source of your beauty. This paragraph is saying two wives you want Godly contact you want Godly conduct of honor the Lord silence the slanderers and reveal God be beautiful for your husband be beautiful for your husband. What do you mean by that? What braid your hair if you want we're pretty dresses if you want, but that's not the primary thing. The primary thing is adorned The L Word body if you want, but the primary thing is adorning the hidden person of the heart. the hidden person of the heart Who you really are?

This is a very good investment cuz may I just be frank for a moment? Ladies and men? This is a human thing. outward Beauty always parishes

outward Beauty always paris's nobody looks better at 90 then they did at 20 nobody. Tomato Factory preparation for the sermon. I was just going for stars. These are stars of my era because I need stars of age. Here's Goldie Hawn. Here's Demi Moore. Here is Jack Nicklaus. Here is Val Kilmer. They all wait. They all become much less beautiful. If we are investing in external beauty, if that's where we're wrapping up our appeal. We will live a life of fear because it's going to go there is no way to hang on to this and not just with stars this affect your pastor. To we took this picture 10 years ago. This is what you know, I'm coming up to my 10th anniversary. This is 10 years ago. Look at how good we look I called Pastor Jim. I've to call Pastor Jack so we can take the same picture this this week we've changed. We have totally changed the I don't look so bad, but Jim and Jack or disasters.

Frends Beauty outward beauty is perishable. It is not a? It's not a? Of if it will perish it will perish it has to perish the smart money is on the beautiful hidden inner person. What would that look like, it would look like a gentle and a quiet spirit. at this word quiet means tranquil peaceful wives you have an opportunity to set a timer on in your home. There's enough chaos going on. You can create an environment. That is peaceful.

That is tranquil. The invites people to come into it.

You know. 911 when the planes flew into the tower that's quite a while ago now so if some of you were younger you may know that it happened but you may not know the whole story. I was actually flying into New York that day. I saw that happen. I arrived just before the planes hit. I was in the taxi. We are coming around a ramp to get on a highway and I could see these enormous plumes coming out from the building and we were headed up to Poughkeepsie and all these ambulances and fire trucks are coming down and I said to the cab driver what's going on. He said I don't know and by the way the cab driver got lost when he could not find that the IBM location. So IBM expected me to show up for a meeting and I was an hour late and it was an important meeting. This is not a meeting. This is a meeting you fly into New York for this is not a meeting you show up late for Survey from space and you said you know where your husband is and said he's watching all this on the TV. What a day anyways 911 after the aftermath months after National Geographic give a big special on it and they interviewed all the principles Condoleezza Rice Dick Cheney with the Secretary of State the Secretary of Defense who's the guy that would remember all the names but they interviewed all of them and they all said, It was so incredible. How comb President Bush was we were flipping out. How many airplanes are there? Are we done yet? What's going on here? And he was just just calm just super comp and he said that calmed us down. Like we kind of started these meetings all flipping out and just talk it over by the time the meeting ended. We were just calm. So the last interview in the special is President Bush and they said hey, we talked to all your guys. They said you were super calm and he said I learned that from my dad full course was president before him. Is it? What did you learn from? Your dad says my dad always told me that the leaders not calm. Nobody's called. If you're the leader and you're flipping out people don't know like you're in a situation. Is this a really bad situation like a we in trouble? I don't know. I'll look at the leader very is flipping out. Yes. It's a terrible situation women. You can be calm you can have a Gentle intranquil Spirit what a contribution to the home. Psalm 131 describes as I have calmed and quieted my soul like a weaned child with its mother moms. Have you ever seen this a child? Maybe a little baby is hungry. They are loud. They are just screaming and their face gets red and they're moving their little arms and their legs if they are just totally out of sorts. You think they're dying. You feed them. Happy quiet. Content our souls can be that way when we learn. How wise when we learn how to trust the Lord fully for everything. We begin to manifest exhibit a quiet. A tranquil a peaceful Soul. What a gift that is. And by the way, may I tell you that this gentle and quiet spirit is very precious in God's sight. Very precious in God's sight, which really brings to mind. Are we wise to amplify the things that are very precious in the world site or are we living Our Lives to amplify? What is very precious in God's sight because sometimes the world and start evaluating things really very differently. They will our world favors physical appearance. God favors in her beauty. Where is the Smart money? Where is our effort? This word precious means highly valued. It means highly priced. It literally means highly priced like in the General Store of God's evaluations. He says this is kind of his wooden here. We got some straw here. Let me open up the diamond cabinet. Let me open up the gold bullion cabinet. This is weather real action is where is that? It's a gentle and quiet spirit. Which in God's sight is very very precious.

the song that says behold you Delight in truth in the inward being this is so encouraging. This is so encouraging when we invista invest ourselves in our physical appearance. We instinctively know that we're playing a losing hand. There is no way to preserve physical appearance in definitely there is no way you can slow it down with healthy eating you can take external steps like plastic surgery. You can slow it down. You can alter the course you cannot stop it.

You are walking towards the grave right now, and I'm with you. We are getting weaker. We are getting less attractive everyday. That's pretty depressing. But inwardly we are getting stronger I said earlier in the sermon no one looks better at 90 then they do it 20. Yeah externally inwardly, you can inwardly you can be so much more beautiful at 9 D when you've learned how to trust the Lord when you've learned who he is when you walked around the block with him over and over and over again, you can be so much more beautiful at 90 then because we have been investing in inner beauty which grows from day-to-day rather than the external word world that diminishes from day today wives. If you're looking for a code of conduct. That will honor the Lord that will silence the slanderers that will reveal who God is be beautiful for your husband's.

And husbands live with your wive's in an understanding way. this word understanding Greek word is kenosis, which is knowledge. This means live in a knowledgeable way know your wife. If you're dating you should be working towards your undergrad degree. I'm married to Sandy saw undergrad degree in Sandy ology. If your married you should be working on your master's degree. You should get your master's degree in Sandy ology and you should have done that in the first five or six years and then you should start working on your PhD get your PhD in your wife. What what secret fears are there? What secret hopes are there? How has her past influenced who she is today? What does she want most? If I want to communicate love to her, what's the most appropriate way? What is the way that she will receive this more powerful and after 10 years y'all to have your PhD and start working on your second Ph.D. There's no law that says you can't have two phds. And then your third live with your wives in an understanding way husbands start earning your PhD and start today. Think think about all the experiences you've had with your wife and how she responded to this and how she responded to that of what natural talents she has and what natural interest she hasn't what repels her. And what makes her afraid and what she reacts negatively to. Who is this beautiful woman you're with You ought to be able to write a book? Because we are living with our wives in an understanding way. And we're showing honor to our wise honor to our wise this word honor means respect. It means High status. It means highly. prized It means cherished. We respect our wives. They have a high status in our hearts and minds they are highly prized. They are cherished.

And we read that and say what that's nice. I mean, I kind of feel like reading a Harlequin romance. This is totally normal. Yeah to 21st century person. This is totally normal. This is totally abnormal to the first century audience that this was written to husband's didn't think of that. We have a very romantic model of marriage. They didn't in the first century husbands weren't particularly interested in being friends with their wives. They just didn't get that whole romance and they were exceptions of course, but that was not the model of marriage in Vogue at the time. You don't honor your wife. She's not exactly a servant but she's just a person who Bears you children takes care of those children and then adjust the home. She's not your best friend. She's like that's just not in the dish would have struck them. So. Counter Culture Ali Is a countercultural continues as to the weaker vessel, what is this mean? This means weaker physically because generally women are weaker than men physically, by the way, this means less in our society, but I meant a lot and their society big strapping man is an invitation to abused. That's how you control the situation because physical power is very important. It's not a knowledge economy. It is a physical economy and I'm stronger than you and do you see why this conduct is so powerful.

I am I love American politics not commenting on the election except to say I'll be up to 2 in the morning watching it. But one of the beauties of the American government is it has three equal Realms. There's the executive branch. That's the president and his cabinet and the Department of Justice and the FBI that's all executive and then there is the legislative branch. That's the House of Representatives in the Senate they make laws and then there's the judicial branch. That's the Supreme Court and all the courts underneath them. Why did the founders put three equal branches in a y Because you can't trust anyone of them. They call it checks and balances. Each branch has to watch the other two and can stand in the other two's way cuz as soon as you put Power in only one it corrupt. There is an irresistible urge to use power to abuse those under power and America was just coming out of a monarchy from England. They saw that firsthand that's just an axiom you study human history and that's what it is when you get power you use that power to abuse those under the power not here. The woman is the weaker vessel and you know what we do with our power over them. We honor them. We serve them. They have a highly prized place in our hearts and Minds. And by the way, they are heirs with you. This is completely counter-cultural thrust us there. No more or less Christian followers than we are. This would have been jarring to the ears of a first century Christian. Can I just make a larger Point here? When you go through vs127, there are things that would be totally countercultural to the cultures that this was written into. Wives be subject to your husbands course duh and try to win them. What? What you mean like the wife influencing the husband's religious convictions and husband totally countercultural and husband's honor your wives. What? What do they make babies that take care of the house? What are you talkin about honor highly prized. Like we're not friends like you got me confused with somebody else totally countercultural. Here's the point. I'm trying to make this passage is still countercultural, but for all the opposite reasons all the stuff that was counter-cultural in the first century is accepted today course their joint heirs with us all the stuff that was accepted in the first century today wives be subject to your husbands is countercultural today. Here's my point. It doesn't matter. We are people of the word Society drifts around they change this way. They change that way. This is in fashion or whatever. Whatever just go do what you're going to do. We are people of the word and it doesn't change society changes around us and then we'll always be sections that are countercultural and ironically think the sections that are countercultural keep shifting, but it's not kids were moving. It's because they're moving. We're the ones with the anchor. We're the ones with the map. We are the ones who know where we are. They're the ones that don't that's why they keep changing all the place. We aren't looking for a fight for anybody. But when the scriptures command us to do something they come and has to do something and a portions of that are countercultural. So be it. sobia And then finally men we need to do this so that our prayers may not be hindered.

How could our prayers be hindered friends? The condition of our heart affects the way God hears our prayers. So I'm 66 if I had cherished iniquity in my heart the Lord would not have listened. If husband's if we are not honoring our wives. If we are not increasingly living in an understanding way with them, our own spiritual life is in jeopardy.

This is not merely a horizontal thing. We cannot react in any way to our wives without affecting our relationship with the Lord good or bad. Those two are not unlinked. And it's good for us to remember that.

So has today been about marriage know today has not been about marriage today has been a boat conduct honorable that glorifies God. Can you give me some examples? Sure depends on who you are? Are you a citizen?

Here's some advice for you on how Godly conduction play. Oh, you're a servant. Okay. So here's some there we are. This is some advice on what Godly conduct. Oh your wife. Sorry, I misunderstood here's some examples of how Godly conduct would I was confused for a husband here are some examples of how you should behave for the goal. A glorifying God by honoring and obeying him. by silencing the slanderers and by revealing who he truly is and so the invitation this morning is to glorify God in our marriage.