Fellowship - Unforgiven

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Trash

For years now I have had a stack of extra couches in our basement. For one reason or another, remodeling, free couch, storing a couch for someone else… just add it to the corner of couches. We did the best we could to make them usable, stack them up like a little movie watching area… but the longer we kept them the more broken they got. At one point, a group of kids were ripping the stuffing out of them and had a “stuffing war.” That was some fun cleanup.
To the point where several were so broken… or so gross… that we couldn’t sit in them anymore.
The problem with couches is… how do you throw them away? You can’t fit them in the trash can, I don’t have a truck anymore to drive them to the dump, and these are no good at garage sale.
How do you get rid of them?
You can imagine how satisfying this was.

Cleanup

Thornton has this bulk pickup thing. You just pile up all the things you don’t want and they come by with this magic claw machine that just smashes everything up and into the truck.
There were more than these, if you look closely at the truck you can see some that have already been thrown away.
So stinkin’ satisfying to get rid of this stuff.
Taking out the trash.
So, clearly, because this is a sermon… there is some kind of metaphor here. What was it?
Oh yes, taking out the sin in our lives. The guilt the shame. The beauty of grace, of forgiveness, to free us from all the gross and the broken.
Anyone here thankful for God’s forgiveness? For His grace?
Let’s thank Him for that in prayer. Specifically, the way Jesus taught us to pray: the Lord’s prayer.

Lord’s Prayer

Say the Lord’s Prayer
Matthew 6:9–13 ESV
Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
That’s a nice prayer. Maybe you’ve heard it a time or two.
What if we took this literally.
Did Jesus say what he meant there? In particular, verse 12 there:
Wait… what was that?
Matthew 6:12 ESV
and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Or the old school: “those who trespass against us.”
He isn’t talking about “debts” like people who owe money… it’s a stand in for people who have sinned again us, “trespassed” against us, done me wrong!
Can you imagine if God held you to that standard? That’s kind of terrifying, isn’t it? Your partial broken human forgiveness, if God “forgave” you the way you forgive others?
as… or in the same way as. Take the way I forgive my debtors… and apply that to me.
That can’t mean what it says, right?
Maybe Jesus can clarify:
Matthew 6:14–15 ESV
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
He says it both ways. Positively (if you forgive, then you are forgiven). And negatively (if you don’t, then you aren’t).
That’s TERRIFYING!
Why?
You are on an 80% forgiver. You forgive most of the time.. and most of the way.
You only hold on to things a little bit. You only hold that against them a smidge.
You cast their sins as far as the East is from the North East.
This gets insane. It gets ridiculous.
We immediately start looking for edge cases, for exceptions, for ways out. What if my friend keeps doing the same thing, over and over, hurting me every time?
How many times is too many times?
Peter asked this, and Jesus answered with a story.
Matthew 18:21–35 The Message
At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven. “The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market. “The poor wretch threw himself at the king’s feet and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt. “The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, ‘Pay up. Now!’ “The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ But he wouldn’t do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king. “The king summoned the man and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn’t you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?’ The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that’s exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn’t forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy.”
WOAH!!! Really? Did Jesus just say that if we don’t forgive God is going to revoke his forgiveness of our debts? Is that what He said?
Maybe Eugene Peterson is way off here.
Matthew 18:35 ESV
So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
You see the pattern here? Scripture is consistent on this.
I always learned that I got forgiveness through Jesus, by grace alone and by faith alone… that’s true!
It all starts with God. He forgives me first. The only reason I have a hope in heaven of forgiving anyone is because He first forgave me much.
Because He forgave me, I am enabled and I learn to forgive… and I discover greater measure of forgiveness to me, and forgiveness to others, and that’s a spiral as I learn to love God and love others.
That’s just what happened in Jesus’ parable. The Master forgave the man first. We see so clearly how that empowered him, should have inspired him to forgive. Now he isn’t desperate for every dollar to pay back the king, to whom he owed hundreds of thousands of dollars. Now he has the freedom to forgive ten bucks.
However, when I choose to not honor the forgiveness God has given me… and I hold on to the hurt, to the pain, I let bitterness take root, I want to hold this against them… because they hurt me… they hurt me again… I don’t want to forgive them because I don’t want to let them off the hook.
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die. -Marianne Williamson
And if Jesus really means what he says here… that poison is SO much more dangerous than I ever truly realized. If I meet God, and He says to me… “You wicked servant! I forgave your debt… but you just couldn’t forgive them, could you?”
I am still wrestling with this theologically. I’m letting this work on my tidy systematic theology… because Jesus is clear and he is clear over and over.
The way I forgive others… that impacts the way God forgives me.
Forgiven people forgive others.
Unforgiving people… are unforgiven? I don’t like it… but I think we have to take this seriously. Deadly seriously.
Forgiveness is not Optional
Forgiveness is not Optional
There is no option here for the Christ-follower, for the disciple, for anyone who claims to love God, to love or know Jesus… certainly no option for anyone who calls Jesus “Lord.”
You are to forgive. You are to search your heart for unforgiveness. You are to forgive to the extent and to the degree that you have received forgiveness from Jesus… and to the extent and degree that you want to continue to receive forgiveness eternal from Jesus.
You may have the opportunity to go to that person and say, face to face, “I forgive you.” If you can do that in a loving way… in a way that isn’t an opportunity to remind them of the way they hurt you, that can be a powerful, healing thing.
But you may not have that option, or it may not be wise for you to have that face to face… but without fail, before God, as the text here says “from your heart...” forgiveness is an absolute requirement.
If you are sitting on that, that needs to be the every-day focus and discipline of your prayer life until God teaches you that forgiveness. “I forgive, God teach me to forgive.” is your prayer.
I remember Eddie preached on this passage years ago, and for him it was 7*77 times or more for the same event, praying forgiveness. Some hurts are that deep… but God’s grace is sufficient, his forgiveness penetrates to the deepest part of me.
If you have a list a mile long of wrongs that person has done, you may need to write that list out. Pray that list out. Forgive each item, one at a time. Then burn the list.
To be clear: forgiveness is different from reconciliation. That’s another step.
Forgiveness is different from boundaries. There may be appropriate and necessary boundaries moving forward. All healthy relationships have appropriate boundaries.
Imagine the freedom you will have, free from that poison, free from carrying the sins of others against you.
Imagine the community we would have if we practiced this together. A people who absolutely refuse to hold anything against one another. We forgive. Again and again. Every time, all the way, absolute and total forgiveness as Jesus has forgiven us.
There is no “do you know what so-and-so said” 10 years ago?
Can you imagine how that frees us to love one another, as Jesus loved us.

Communion

Today we take communion. We remember his death until he comes. We remember the radical price he paid to love us… the radical price he paid to forgive us… wholly and completely.
That is how we called to forgive one another. That is the standard to which we are held. That is the power and courage we are given by His Spirit to look at one another and say
I forgive you as Jesus forgave me.
I love you as Jesus loves me.
If you need help with that, if you need to someone to pray forgiveness with you or forgiveness for you. I would love to do that. You can come on up and I’ll pray with you, you can grab a deacon, or just grab someone who loves you. I’m having trouble forgiving… maybe you share who, maybe not. Be wise and be loving… but we can do this. We can people a people who forgives like that… a people who loves like that.
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