Forgivness

Conflicted • Sermon • Submitted 4 years ago

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Jesus has just talked about conflict resolution and Peter asks a question about how many times should one actually forgive...trying to look good in the eyes of Jesus Peter recieved an answer that he did not expect but is really freeing to us as believers of Jesus.

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I like to believe that I am quick to forgive when something is done wrong to me. In fact for most of my life I think I have been very forgiving...at least in the moment. But the forgivness that sets me free is not the words I say in a moment but often time it is the process of allowing God to bring healing to my heart that sets me free.

I think that many of us are great with the words I forgive you in the moment but the hurt does not always go away in that moment. Sometimes it takes a little bit more to be free from the pain that has been caused by another.

That’s ok.... and it doesn’t mean you have not forgiven. It just means you need a little more time to heal. Letting go of the hurt can be a one time decision but more often than not it is a process of letting go of pain. This may seem tough at first but the process of forgivness is worth it.

By embracing the process of forgiveness, we embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.

The Mayo Clinic says Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind.

Forgiveness can lead to:

Healthier relationships, Improved mental health, Less anxiety, stress and hostility it can Lower blood pressure, Fewer symptoms of depression, A stronger immune system, Improved heart health, Improved self-esteem

Forgiveness will lead you to a place of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Explain previous…The question that Peter asked is real what do we do to forgive that person we just went though conflict resolution with. Conflict resolution is great but we still have to deal with the hurt.

Matthew 18:21–35 NLT

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!

23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

The result of un-forgiveness is always more harmful to the offended than the offender.

Even though as Christians we understand this is a true statement un-conditional forgivness always seems to give us a bit of trouble. Becuase well...forgivness is hard!

It is hard to offer peace to a person that has hurt us even though we know that forgivness is the best thing to do…it is not the natural thing to do. The rest of the world does not embrace the idea of forgivness as a strength and becuase of this we probably struggle with it more than we think…I know at times I do.

There is always a part of us that thinks we are somehow letting someone off the hook or allowing them to get away with something if we forgive them. Why should they get a free pass when we are suffering so much as a result of their actions?

Let’s face it there is a part of us that believes that in order for someone to be forgiven they need to suffer at least as much as we have suffered. The only problem with this is that most of the time they are not suffering at all.

In fact our inability to forgive creates more pain and more turmoil in our lives than the original offence.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or even making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings peace that helps you go on with life.

Our ability to heal is intimately wrapped up in our ability to forgive ALL who have intentionally or unintentionally brought any pain in our lives.

So how do we do this forgivness thing? What is forgivness?

In the simplest terms forgiveness involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge not only in a moment but every time the memory of that offence is brought to mind.

We move from suffering to forgiveness by:

Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life

Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you and how they affect your behavior, and work to release them

Choose to forgive the person who's offended you

Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life

Don’t expect others to receive your forgivness…some people will not acknowledge the pain they have caused. Forgive and move on with or without their acknowledgment.

As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You can instead find more compassion and understanding for those who have hurt you.

Hurt people....Hurt people. If the unforgiving servant had used what he had just gone through with the one he owed millions of dollars to this parable would look so much better.

Instead we are left with an ugly reminder of what giving into and earthly mindset leads to.

There are many who are suffering right now precisely because they are withholding forgivness.

Let me close with this personal story…As many of you know my dad died a few years ago…sense that day I have been struggling with this idea of forgivness…I thought I had forgiven him years ago…but after he died and my brother and I talked about things he had done to the family over the years I found myself slipping back into a place where I was resentful and to be honest just plain angry.

Not for any specific instance of which there were many…I found myself struggling with the unfairness of not having the dad I felt I deserved.

This was affecting me in my everyday life more than I realized. I was grumpy, resentful, untrusting and just overall hard to be around some days. All becuase I was stewing over something that I could never change.

I had a choice to make…I could let this resentment go by forgiving the pain my dad caused me, or I could continue to let that pain ruin the rest of my life.

Has it been easy? NO....there are still days when these feeling come up but with every day I move to forgivness easier and quicker…not becuase my dad asked for it or even deserved it....

I forgive for two reasons. First of all I have been forgiven. I have been forgiven much by God and quite frankly others in my life that I have hurt in my past. Whether it be a careless word, me dismissing peoples feelings, or marginalizing others opinions…or probably a ton of offences I have caused without even knowing I caused it.

Secondly I forgive to loosen the control that negative feelings and people have on my life. In that forgivness I am able to love not just like those who have hurt me.

Weekly Practice:

Who are you letting control your feelings today becuase you have either intentionally or unintentionally withheld forgivness. Intentionally forgive that person every time they come to mind until you see them as a child of God instead of a person of pain.