Be Loved and Love with God's Love
Notes
Transcript
" We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19 [NIV])
Good morning, it is so wonderful to be here this morning, seeing XXX and XXX so wonderfully dressed…
And I think the same goes for all of you in the congregation who are here to support XXX and XXX… you are quite conscious that you want to wear something appropriate to this occasion and to honour the bride and groom this morning…
Yes, it’s true, XXX looks exceptionally handsome this morning and XXX looks exceptionally beautiful this morning… They are handsome and beautiful everyday… it’s just that because of the makeup and the dressing they look exceptionally nice today…
This reminds me of a joke that says
“A little boy looks at his mum at a wedding and says, “Mummy, why is the girl dressed all in white?”
His mum answers, “The girl is called a bride and she is in white because she’s very happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”
The boy nods and then says, “OK, and why is the boy all in black?””
While this is meant to be a joke, but it does bring out the fact that the marriage is difficult and that is why there are so many jokes about marriages out there…
Many people put in a lot of effort into the preparations for the wedding, which is rightly so, because it is an important ceremony which symbolises the radical change in your status in life… and it is also a sacred ceremony that includes not just your family members and friends, but also God Himself….
But you know that you do not wear this everyday right?
After the wedding ceremony today, no matter how amazing today, it is unlikely you will wear anything like this for a while to come…
But that’s alright, right?
You marry each other no because of how you dress,
You don’t have to wear such nice clothes for you to love each other…
You love each other even in the ordinary…
You love each other even you see each other with the messy hair, and the pre-brushed teeth…
The way you love each other is not on condition on how you look…
And that is a glimpse to way God loves us…
And that’s probably why you chose your theme verse for today which says " We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:19 [NIV])
But allow me to expand the verses for reflection today, by looking at a few verses in that chapter before that, namely v7 which says " Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." (1 John 4:7 [NIV])
And verse 18 which says
" There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18 [NIV])
For the first part, I just want to affirm you in that your decision on choosing this verse for your wedding and your marriage today is because you recognise that it is God who brought you two together…
And you recognise that without this love from God, you wouldn’t be able to fall in love with one another because you are firstly, incapable to receiving love and you’re incapable of giving love…
And you wouldn’t find each other lovely…
But you recognise that because God had created in you two a desire for love, a God-designed void in your lives that can only be satisfied by each other,
That’s why you were attracted to each other and that’s why you’re here right now to make that commitment to love each other for life…
and you recognise that the only way you two can sustain this marriage that you two are going to begin today, is only when God is in the centre of your lives and your marriage…
filling you with love, so that this love will overflow out of you, into each other’s lives…
and you also recognise that it’s because of that already happening in you, even before you two fell in love, that you two are drawn to each other…
because that’s how you two met in the first place…
because God had loved you so much and filled you with so much love…
making you compelled to want to make a difference in the community around you…
which is why you two volunteered in MINDS that many years ago, which allowed you two to meet…
Because God loved you so much, you can love… love God, love each other, love your family and love your family…
And that is a very important thing to remember and that’s a very good starting point for your marriage… I’m sure you wouldn’t but let me nevertheless nag you in this thing…
Don’t ever forget those truth…
That the only reason you can love, is because God first loved you…
So, never neglect God in your lives…
If you want a strong marriage… keep close to him and never drift from him…
For as you spend time being close to him, communing with him, and as you get filled with his love, you will be able to love each other a lot more…
And this is important because like what I shared with you at the counselling sessions that the first part of marriage can be difficult because you come from different backgrounds and according to neuroscientific research, it takes about 10 to 15 years for our minds to adapt to our new life as a married couple, and to unlearn our past habits as singles, and to accept each other and for intimacy to display itself in a marriage…
While the infatuation (or what people usually refer to as the honeymoon phase) lasts typically between twelve to 18 months,[1] and therefore it is natural for the ‘spark’ in the marriage to ‘fizzle out’…
And in the gap between the honeymoon phase and being fully adapted to each other,
Tensions and friction may occur…
Even for simple things like who should take out the trash, who should do the dishes, who should be the one replacing the toilet paper in the washroom… these things by themselves may not seem much, but at the end of the hard day’s work, when all these cumulate, they can be sources of argument…
And when those arguments and quarrels come… and when you say things you don’t mean…
And that is when you need the grace and love of God to come and fill you… and allow you to love each other to forgive each other… and ask God to heal those hurtful words you say…
So Lin Xin, Troy… when the time comes… promise me this thing…
No matter how angry you are with each other… pray to God together… and allow Him to come and bind you two together again…
So keep working at being close to God who brought you together, and love each other with the love that God gave you…
And while it may be challenging, the love of the Lord would be able to carry you through…
And the second thing that I would say this morning, is that as part of God’s love for you, God had provided you with your family members and your church…
They too are a tangible manifestation of God’s love…
Draw on them… sure, by all means, craft out for yourself a protected space and bubble to establish your identity as a couple…
Have regular couple time… but don’t isolate yourselves…
Continue to be connected to the community the Lord had given you…
This is important because marriage is something so new to us, it can feel a little overwhelming and lonely sometimes, especially when you encounter something that is unexpected…
Never forget you have a community of faith and family that you can always turn to for help, which are the tangible presence of God in your lives…
Draw on the love given to you by God, expressed through your family members, your friends and the church…
So even as you begin this new phase of your life as one, do not forget or cut off the old connections that you have already established…
Do not isolate yourselves, but continue to be connected with the community of faith and family and draw from their love and experience…
Spend time with your parents and family members…
Journey with people who are going through the same phase as you…
So, as I bring this homily to a close, even as you leave this sanctuary later as one unit, remember to continue to work on your connections to God, connections to each other, and connections to family and the community of faith. Amen
[1] Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More than to Make Us Happy?, Kindle Edition. (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2015), 102.