How The Gospel Changes Our Relationships with Others
Philemon • Sermon • Submitted
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Introduction
Introduction
Have you ever known someone who was hard to love? I’ve heard someone say there was someone like that in every group and if you don’t know of anyone like that in your circle then it might be you. We can, all of us, probably be described as hard to love sometimes as we all have our own faults and shortcomings.
Sometimes loving people can be hard.
C.S. Lewis once said:
“Everyone thinks forgiveness is a wonderful idea, until they have something to forgive.
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, page 115
Mark Meynell points out:
Something similar could be said for unity - it’s a lovely idea until we find something to divide over. That is when loving a brother or sister in Christ becomes a challenge.
Meynell, Mark. Colossians & Philemon for You. Edited by Carl Laferton. God’s Word for You. The Good Book Company, 2018.
In The Apostle Paul’s Letter to Philemon, we see how we an example of the love that we are to show as Christians, especially to those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Paul urges Philemon to accept back his slave, Onesimus, who had wronged him and fled, but who was now a fellow believer in Christ.
Paul knew of Philemon’s love for Christ and the Church and wanted him to embrace Onesimus with that same love.
When The Gospel changes our relationship with God, when our heart is changed, this affects all of our relationships, changing our relationship to others.
Jesus is creating something new in humanity, a kingdom that works the opposite of what we expect in kingdoms of this world.
Philemon 1:4-9
Philemon 1:4-9
I thank my God always, making mention of you in my prayers,
because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints;
and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake.
For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.
Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper,
yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you—since I am such a person as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus—
The Man Philemon
The Man Philemon
Philemon was a leader of the Church at Colossae and likely fairly wealthy, as his home was used for their meetings. He is believed to have been saved under Paul’s ministry and Paul considered him a fellow worker; a term used for one who works to spread the Gospel and support the Church. It is also likely that he was a family man. In Paul’s greeting to Philemon he also greets Apphia, who is believed to have been Philemon’s wife, and Archippus, who may have been Philemon’s son or possibly his brother. Paul’s letter also reflects that he was a man of good character.
As a wealthy person in the Roman empire, Philemon also had, at least one, slave. The one that we know of, was Onesimus, who stole from Philemon and fled, only to be converted under Paul’s preaching and end up returning to Philemon.
Paul writes to Philemon about Onesimus’ conversion and urges him to accept him back, not only as a slave, but as a brother in Christ.
Paul begins by informing Philemon of how he thanks God for him and mentions him in his prayers.
Paul’s prayers for Philemon demonstrate his love and concern for all the local churches and their leaders.
He is thankful for Philemon in particular because of the news he has received of the love and faith that Philemon had for both Christ and the Church, which is who he refers to when he says, “all the saints”.
Philemon’s actions, how he lived and treated others, was evidence of his relationship with God and others noticed.
“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
It is interesting that Paul mentions Philemon’s love and faith towards Christ and the Church in that order.
It is our love for Christ, our relationship with Him, that transforms all other relationships and aspects of our lives.
We see this reflected in the two commandments which encompass all of the Law of God.
and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’
“The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
We see that the two greatest commandments are love God and love others and in that order.
If we love God, then we will love others and in doing those two things, we will be keeping all the other commandments.
Philemon demonstrates, according to Paul’s letter, both of these things. A transformed relationship with God and with others as well.
We see some of the ways that Philemon showed his love for God’s people included:
Allowing them to share his home in order to gather there for worship.
The text seems to indicate that he is very supportive of the Church, likely giving not only of use of his home, but probably of his resources.
He is also a “fellow worker” and hence would be active in sharing the Gospel.
His position as a leader in his Church was probably some sort of pastoral or elder role, which means he would have been displaying the qualities of a pastor or elder, as mentioned in Titus 1:6-9 and 1 Timothy 3:1-10; which would have included being: beyond reproach, hospitable, not greedy, gentle, having a good reputation within and outside of the Church, faithful to his family and so on.
Perhaps most telling is how, as Paul puts it, the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by Philemon.
This “refreshing” of the hearts of the saints can mean two things:
Philemon’s actions reflected the love of Christ which reminded, or “refreshed the hearts” of the believers about how Christ Himself loved and cared for His people, even giving Himself for them.
Secondly, refresh means to give new strength or energy, so Philemon’s love toward the Church helped to strengthen their hearts.
Paul’s prayer for Philemon was that this fellowship of Philemon’s faith would grow through the knowledge of the good things within him. The word Paul uses for fellowship is koinonia, fellowship, partnership, sharing.
Essentially, Paul is praying that, as Philemon understands more about the good work that Christ has done in him that his faith will grow and fellowship with other believers.
One commentator said it like this:
Paul prays for Philemon that he will be equipped to encourage and love the saints more as he himself is brought to a place of deeper understanding of every spiritual blessing he has in Christ; out of the overflow of his own life, he will minister to others.
Biblical Studies Press. The NET Bible First Edition Notes. Biblical Studies Press, 2006.
Paul describes how all that Philemon has done has brought him, Paul, much joy and comfort, seeing how he cares for the Church and loves The Lord.
It is because of this that, while Paul could command Philemon to do the right thing concerning Onesimus, he knows he doesn’t need to, but can, rather, request it out of love.
Philemon’s life demonstrates the qualities of a man walking in relationship with God, which manifests in his relationship with others and the life that he leads.
Such is what we all should strive for.
Based on all of this, Paul asks him to receive back Onesimus.
Paul’s Petition
Paul’s Petition
Paul was writing to Philemon to receive Onesimus back, not just as a slave, but as a brother, a partner and equal in Christ.
Paul is not unaware of the potentially sensitive nature of the situation and what he is requesting from Philemon.
He had to convince Philemon, his family and the Church at Colossae to accept back the Onesimus who had wronged Philemon and fled and convince them that he was now repentant and had come to faith in Christ as well, making him part of the family of God.
Paul demonstrates pastoral wisdom in his handling of the situation.
Paul sends Onesimus back in the first place so that he can do the right thing and be reconciled to Philemon and, rather than making demands of Philemon and appealing to him on his Apostolic authority, Paul allows Philemon to make his own decision as well.
Paul makes it clear that, though he could command that Philemon do the right thing, and even though Onesimus has been a great help to him and he would like to keep him with him; he doesn’t want what Philemon does to be out of compulsion, but because he wants to.
As an Apostle, Paul had the authority to instruct the Church and could have asked Philemon, in that capacity, to release Onesimus outright because he was not a believer as well.
However, this is not what Paul does, instead, he sets that right aside so that Philemon can act out of love on his own accord; in doing so, Paul was setting an example.
Philemon had every right to do whatever he wanted to punish Onesimus under the law, but Paul was asking Philemon to set aside that right that he had in order to do the Christian thing.
Paul’s actions of considering his brother over himself reflect his teaching to prefer our brother over ourself.
All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify.
Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor.
At the beginning of his letter, Paul describes the faith and love that Philemon has for Christ and for the Church and how Philemon has refreshed the hearts of the believers, referring to all the things Philemon has done to love and encourage the Church.
The “therefore” in verse 8 links back to verses 4-7 when Paul begins to make his appeal for Onesimus.
Paul is saying that it is because of all those things already mentioned, because of Philemon’s love for Christ, that he expects that he will receive back Onesimus as well, just as he would any other believer.
Paul tells Philemon this in verse 17:
If then you regard me a partner, accept him as you would me.
Paul goes back to the use of the word koinonia, that Christian fellowship; essentially telling Philemon, if we share in the same faith, if we are both in God’s family, so is Onesimus, so accept Onesimus just as you would me.
Paul appeals to Philemon on the basis of his love for God and God’s people, agape love, as it is described, a self denying, sacrificial love.
Receiving Onesimus
Receiving Onesimus
Philemon, as well as his family and their Church were now faces with a decision: would they receive back Onesimus?
For Philemon, this might have been a particularly difficult decision.
One commentator notes:
Philemon’s culture had conditioned him to view slaves as less than full persons who were deservedly consigned to their lot by fate, and Philemon would have been expected to exact revenge on one who stole away. But what was culturally permissible for dealing with a runaway slave was at odds with what is fitting in Christ.
Garland, David E. Colossians and Philemon. The NIV Application Commentary. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1998.
Another writer said:
Several social factors, however, press on Philemon that might sway his decision in the wrong direction. He will lose face in the community if he capitulates to a runaway slave. Philemon may have been a figure of some status in the wider society, and he will forfeit that standing if he becomes known as someone soft on slavery. He must also bear the financial cost of freeing a slave and cope with possibly throwing his whole household into an uproar by his extreme leniency. The right decision requires an extraordinary exercise of faith, love, and knowledge.
Garland, David E. Colossians and Philemon. The NIV Application Commentary. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1998.
None of the Apostle’s or the Church endorsed slavery, but they realized that change only came through the changing of hearts through Christ; yet even in situations where Christians might find themselves as servant or having servant, they were to treat them in a Christlike fashion; let alone if they were both believers.
Such is the situation here between Philemon and Onesimus.
Accepting back Onesimus wouldn’t be an easy thing, there were personal and social issues muddying the waters.
However, the Gospel, their shared faith in Christ required Philemon to lay those things aside and see Onesimus not as a for his trespasses against him, not for what society said about him, but who they were in Christ, as brother and equals in the family of God.
They could not remain “master and servant”, because The Gospel had changed the relationship between them.
Not only did the Gospel call for Onesimus to be accepted back, but it changed everything, making them first and foremost part of the family of God.
Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.
Just as Christ accepted us when we came into the family of God, so we should welcome those of His sheep when they come as well and love each other with Christlike love, as brothers and sisters, no matter their past or our worldly differences.
We each come to Christ with a past, but we have each been saved by the same Lord and have the same Spirit working in us, each of us sharing in the same faith.
one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
Therefore, we are to accept each other in love.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
Though it would be hard to do, Philemon would have to accept Onesimus.
Paul’s letter indicates that he is confident that Philemon will do what he has asked and even more so. The evidence of Philemon’s relationship with God will continue to be manifested through how he receives Onesimus, giving further testament to the transformation that has taken place within him and those in Colossae.
Though we don’t know exactly what happens, tradition indicates that Onesimus was indeed received back and likely even freed to go and serve God, eventually becoming a minister himself.
What Does this Mean for Us
What Does this Mean for Us
We don’t decide who get’s to be saved, that’s God’s prerogative; our job is to love each other, showing God’s love in our relationships to one another.
We see in Philemon the effects of what happens when our relationship with God is transformed by the Gospel, it spilled over into his love for others, especially for the Church. It was that same transforming love that allowed him to forgive Onesimus and receive him back, despite the challenges he might face in doing so.
When our relationship with God changes, it changes our relationship to each other; enabling us to forgive, to understand; enabling us to love with a Christlike love.
Philemon would be able to show Onesimus the same love he showed others because of his transformed relationship with God.
Onesimus’ relationship with Philemon changed; where once he had been selfish and wronged Philemon, he was now returning out of a desire to make things right, no matter the personal cost.
Paul himself is an example of how the Gospel changes our relationship, particularly with each other as God’s people. He was once a hater of the Church and stood by while Stephen was stoned to death; but now, he loved God’s people and gave his very life to the work of ministry, suffering himself on behalf of God’s people, saying:
For this reason I endure all things for the sake of those who are chosen, so that they also may obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus and with it eternal glory.
If our relationship with God has been transformed, it should be reflected in our lives and our relationship with others, especially others who are part of the household of Faith; laying aside our own wants and desires in order to prefer our brothers and sisters, refreshing each other’s hearts in Christ.
We each come from a different place, different social, economic and cultural backgrounds, but in Christ, we are all one family and should treat each other as family.
We are to love one another, as Jesus said in:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Are we showing God’s love in our relationships with each other?
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
We are called to be imitators of God in our lives, including our relationships.
Even though it may be hard, we are to show the love of God to those in our lives.
In our families, in our Churches, in our working lives, in our homes, we are to reflect the old adage, “what would Jesus do”.
If our relationship with God has been transformed, then we will do unto others as we would have them do to us.
We will seek to help our brothers and sisters and encourage their hearts, showing them Christlike love.
The Gospel changed the relationship between Philemon and Onesimus from master and slave, victim and offender, to brothers, members of the family of God.
So it changes our relationships to each other, that we might love and serve one another, loving each other as Christ loved us.