Get Filled Up
Notes
Transcript
Manipulation
Manipulation
We learn pretty early on how to manipulate people.
Something innate in us makes us want to do things for ppl so that we get something in return.
This for that, fairness.
And, control.
Maybe it’s a little Pavlovian that we stumble onto it.
Behavior modification.
Ring the bell and get the dog to salivate b/c we taught him that when the bell rings he’ll get fed.
When we do nice things for ppl fairly often then do something nice back. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you want something nice done for you, one way is to do something nice for someone else.
It becomes a problem when getting something back becomes the primary motivation. That’s manipulation.
Some perfect the art of manipulation. When I say this, what do you think of someone who does it? Not good.
One of the ways we learn the effectiveness of manipulation is in young dating relationships. Particularly, this day and age.
There are general differences between boys and girls.
There are specific exceptions, but this is generally true.
Males and females have different priorities in their emotional needs.
Girls and women have a deep need to be romanced.
Told “I love you.”
Hugged, held, flowers, cards, candlelit dinners.
Different ways for different women.
Whatever says romance to a woman, she needs it.
She will feel a bond w/ whomever does this for her.
Boys and men are different. We need physical intimacy.
It’s a need, not just a want. Maybe not at our age so much any more. But, it once was.
Same deal. We need for someone in our lives to do this for us.
We will feel an emotional bond w/ whomever does it.
So, you see how this works together in a healthy marriage. We do important things for each other and feel a strong emotional bond w/ ea other.
But, even as teenagers this is at work.
For teenage girls, esp those whose fathers are absent. They desperately want to feel loved by the most important male in their life.
She figures out early on if she gives a little physically, her boyfriend will say, “I love you.”
He probably loves her to the best of his ability, But is it really love? At least he knows he should say it.
And, for teenage boys, they desperately want a little physical contact w/ a girl. So, if they say, “I love you.” And show up on special occasions w/ flowers, they learn pretty early on they are more likely to get what they want.
What can happen then in a relationship is the individuals don’t mature beyond this and only do things for each other for the purpose of getting something back.
That becomes the M.O. of their interactions.
They give to get. They don’t give just to give.
That’s manipulation. And relationships based on this won’t last. Nobody wants to be manipulated. Love dies.
If love dies, then the relationship dies w/ it so the marriage is empty and the individuals learn to exist on empty.
Not a happy couple!
If this motivation and priority lasts into adulthood then our lives will be littered w/ broken relationships in our wake.
Relationships where the fundamental M.O. is manipulation won’t last and nobody gets what they need.
This is also true why some ppl start going to church and then stop going to church.
If you come to church for the purpose of getting something from God, then your main motivation is to manipulate God to give you something you need.
Be blessed, peace, healing in your marriage, the return of a prodigal child, a raise at work, a promotion, all good things.
But, if this is your motivation, then you will leave disappointed and very likely, eventually will leave the church never to return.
And you will leave saying you didn’t get anything out of it. Meaning, you didn’t get what you wanted.
All you are trying to do is manipulate God to get him to do what you want him to do that you can’t do yourself.
But, if you come to church every week to give something to God.
I don’t mean a check in the offering plate.
I mean give your heart to God.
Surrender everything to Him.
Praise Him for Who He is, a characteristic you realized or experienced this week.
Thank Him for what He’s done this week.
Confess what you’ve done wrong.
Ask for what you know He wants you and others to have.
Sing like you mean it. Or, at least, read the lyrics like you believe them.
Pray like you believe what you’re saying.
Listen to the HS, not me, when we’re studying a passage asking God to tell you what needs to change then making every effort, using every resource at your disposal including the HS, to make the change.
You’re here to surrender your life, give everything.
Which might include a check in the offering plate.
If you’re here to do all this, then I guarantee you that you will walk out of here receiving something significant from God.
If you give to God just to give, then you’ll get something good from Him.
If you give to get, then you’ll get little or nothing.
We’re more stressed, more unsettled, emptier than usual.
I don’t know about your life, but when I’m more stressed I’m more likely to be in a getting mood than a giving mood.
Our default setting tends t/b more selfish.
So, if we let this take over we will wreck every important relationship we have and end up emptier than we were before.
Peter had just written, and I talked about last week, unhealthy things we do as quick fixes to fill voids in our lives or mask the pain of the void. But they don’t last.
In fact, they will leave us emptier than we were before we tried it.
Now, he transitions into what we can do, something tangible, that will fill us when we are feeling empty.
The irony is we can’t focus on getting something. Our focus has t/b on giving something.
Give just to give then we will get something significant in return.
But, if we give to get, then the only thing we will get is disappointed.
We have to take the focus of our attention, our motivation, and the focus of our intention off of ourselves. And put it all on the people around who are most important to us, including and especially, Jesus.
So, here’s where Peter goes next.
Practical advice about how to avoid becoming so inwardly we focused we wreck the relationships we have left and get filled up in ways that last.
First, pray.
Pray for the people who are having the greatest impact on your life, both good and bad.
Pray
Pray
The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray.
It’s a warning. It’s an encouragement to get busy.
The end of all things is near..
He has just written that God will judge the living and the dead according to what they did while they were alive.
So, whatever needs to be done, needs t/b done!
How near is near?
In the sense of their lifetime, obviously not.
In the sense of our lifetime, maybe.
In the sense of the grand scheme of God, certainly.
There is only 1 major event left to happen on God’s calendar. Everything else is behind us.
Creation
The Fall
The call of Abraham
The Exodus
The establishment of Israel in the PL
The exile into Babylon
The return to the PL.
The birth of Christ
His death, resurrection, and ascension into Heaven
The indwelling of the HS at Pentecost
The Church
All that is left is the second coming of Christ.
We’re a lot closer to the end then we are the beginning.
Dates are hard to nail down, but Abraham lived about 2500 BC
David, the 2nd king of Israel, lived about 1000 BC
They returned to the PL out of Babylon about 460 BC
Jesus died on the cross about AD 33.
The table is set, everything is ready, all that we are waiting for is God to decide the time is right.
It could happen at any time.
So, he says, be alert. That is, literally, maintain your sanity.
Have sound judgement. Think about the situations you are in, our country is in, this community.
Evaluate them accurately, maturely.
And, he says, be sober, under control of the HS that indwells you, not under the control of any external forces.
And, the first, right thing to do is pray.
In order to know what to pray, how to pray more effectively and appropriately we have to be alert to the events going on around us, evaluate them correctly.
That way, we can pray more intelligently.
Don’t pray the Democrat or Republican agenda, pray God’s agenda.
Wrong standard of evaluation.
The right std is God’s std. Evaluate everything you see going on around us according God’s word.
Our prayers have to be based on an understanding of Who God is and what He wants, where we fall short and what we need, and a mature evaluation of what’s happening around us.
This is what Jesus instructed us to do.
When Jesus was asked by His disciples to teach them to pray like He did, He said this:
“This, then, is how you should pray:
“ ‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’
You know this as the Lord’s prayer. It’s a model, and example for us to know how to pray.
We don’t start out asking him for stuff. In fact, we spend the least amount of time asking for stuff. We only ask after we have affirmed Him for Who He is and agreed w/ Him for what He wants done.
Prayer is not supposed t/b centered on us and what we want. It is t/b centered on God and Who He is.
Pray back to God Who He is:
Our Father: Personal relationship
Holy is your name: Head and shoulders above everything else in creation in importance to all ppl whether they believe in him or not.
Set apart.
We declare this to God so we understand Who it is we believe in and what we believe about Him.
Pray what He wants t/b done:
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
In the face of a majority who want someone else’s will t/b done on earth.
We’ve got to know God well enough to know what He would want to have happen given the specific situation.
Pray what we need and where we fall short:
Give us this day our daily bread
All of what we need and some of what we want.
Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
We need t/b forgiven.
Notice, too, if we fail to forgive those who have hurt us then we fail to understand what we are asking God to do for us and He won’t do it.
Show us and tell us what to do next so we can do the right things.
Paul wrote this in the passage about spiritual warfare and the armor of God:
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
All occasions and all kinds of prayers.
Jesus honestly did not intend for his words t/b repeated verbatim as our prayer. They were intended to be a model fo all kinds of prayers in every kind of occasion.
Prayer requires a sound mind and good judgement to be able to assess our situations and occasions accurately and to know what to pray for.
It’s a conversation, a dialogue w/ God where we listen to Him for direction and then ask Him to do the things for us that are consistent w/ the direction we just rec’d.
Prayer is one of 2 powerful offensive weapons in our armor and fight against evil. Also, we have the sword which is the Word of God, the Bible.
Peter is saying to us not to just take things passively as they are.
As the end draws near and things get more intense for believers, we can do something about the intensity we feel.
We can converse w/ God to better understand our lives and ask for what we know is good for us; whether a change in circumstance or peace w/ in the circumstance.
It takes time, it’s a discipline, and it’s rewarding when we do it for the right reasons.
Prayer is not a means of manipulating God. It’s a means of hearing from God and asking Him to do what you believe He would want done anyway.
It’s an opportunity to get on the same page as God.
Pray. Focus our prayer on God.
Next, focus our energy on the ppl around us.
Love them. Show hospitality to them.
Love & Hospitality
Love & Hospitality
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
Jesus is our example for how to love ppl. He did what He did for us at great cost to himself. If He had any thoughts of His own stuff, He never would have done what He did for us.
Love gives just to give. It does not give to get something in return.
When we do things out of love, we do them freely and willingly to the important yet imperfect ppl in our lives.
Above all. More important than everything else. More important the doctrine, worship style, whether we sprinkle or immerse, sing standing up or sitting down, wear coats and ties and dresses or Hawaiian shirts and flip flops, whether we’re dems or republicans.
Love ea other, deeply.
The word for deeply is the picture of an olympic athlete straining his muscles to win the event.
If you’ve ever won a championship in anything you know the effort required. Rarely does the most talented win. Mostly, the hardest worker wins.
This is hard work. As if you didn’t know. Love and concern for others requires this kind of effort.
What’s so hard about this that requires this effort?
Love like this does not dwell on the mistakes ppl make.
We are not blind to them. We see them and acknowledge the flaws. But accept each other and serve ea other anyway.
Loving each other deeply means seeing the flaws but still enjoying their presence.
Hospitality is not just having ppl into your home. It includes it.
But, fundamentally it means making ppl feel comfortable and welcome in your presence.
Flawed ppl. Imperfect ppl. PPL who might hurt you a little, and probably have. Still, making them feel welcome.
W/out grumbling and complaining about it.
Where love is lacking every word and deed is parsed and viewed w/ suspicion.
Conflict abounds. There is no trust.
Nit-picking every little thing.
Do you know where the term nit-picking came from?
Any of your kids every have head lice?
One strand of hair at a time. Picking the nits, lice, out of their hair.
Agape love seeks the good of others first. And keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Cor. 13.
We pray for ea other. We love ea other. Make ea other feel comfortable in our presence.
And, God has given us special abilities to use to serve each other.
Notice all of this is focused outwardly. None of if focuses on ourselves and what we want. And, yet, when we do it, we get blessed.
Serve Each Other
Serve Each Other
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
When the HS indwells us, at the moment of faith, He brings w/ Him gifts, abilities, to all of us.
There are talents that every person has, believer or not.
But these are gifts, special powerful abilities, that only believers have. They are intended t/b used to build up the church.
Every believer has at least one spiritual gift.
There are 3 other passages that list the gifts, Romans 12, Ephesians 4, and 1 Corinthians 12.
The point of this message is not to list and define the gifts, but to assure every believer that you have a gift and God gave it to you for a specific purpose. It is t/b used to serve other believers.
A steward is someone who is put in charge of managing someone else’s possessions and assets. We are stewards of God’s grace.
We are supposed to manage and administer God’s grace to each other thru the use of our gifts.
Undeserved favor. Good things that no one has earned from you.
Adding value to imperfect and flawed ppl who occasionally hurt and subtract from us.
Looking past each others’ imperfections and doing good things for each other anyway.
Just b/c you have the gift does not mean it is going to work very well w/out following the directions of how to use it.
Some of us guys are not very good at following directions.
Remember at Christmas getting gifts for you kids that said “some assembly required. And, batteries not included?”
Made for stressful Christmas Eves.
The good news for us is the gifts we receive from the HS are fully assembled and have power attached. We just need to use the supplied power packs and not try to do it on our own.
That’s like when your battery dies on your cordless drill and you’re trying to set a screw w/ it. Twisting the drill rather than replacing the dead battery pack.
You’ve got everything you need to do it right but you don’t apply the right power source.
The reason God designed it all this way is so that Christ is the only one who can get credit for anything good getting accomplished.
If we could do it on our own then we’d get some of the credit.
But the gift is from God, we get it when we we believe in and receive Jesus, then it only works when we use the supplied power source, not our own.
Even when ppl see us and hear us, Jesus alone gets the credit b/c He’s the one who did it thru us.
Absolutely none of this is focused on us. Everything is focused outwardly.
We can’t do it for ourselves. We can’t draw attention to ourselves We don’t get the credit ourselves.
It seems counter-intuitive. But it’s true.
Don’t focus on yourself to get what you need for yourself.
When the temptation is to circle your wagons b/c you’re hurting, depressed, empty inside.
Don’t give in. Don’t give anything to try to get something.
Give just to give and get everything you need.
Applications
Applications
Pray
Pray
Every day praise God for a different characteristic you become aware of.
Confess something you did wrong. It might be a feeling or a thought. It could be a word or an action. Admit to something.
Thank God for something He did that only He could get the credit for.
Last. Ask God for stuff. Ask on behalf of other ppl first. Maybe even start w/ the ppl you don’t like so much before you get to the ppl you love.
Every day. Pray.
Hospitality
Hospitality
What can you do to make ppl feel more comfortable in your presence.
Ask better questions. Remember their answers.
Invite ppl into your home and serve them.
Just a cup of coffee and good conversation.
Introverts: 1 or 2.
Extroverts: The governor allows 50 today.
Look around for ppl, imperfections and all, you can do this for.
And, do you need to complain less?
Gift
Gift
Do you know? There are online assessments.
Romans 12, 1 Cor. 12, Eph. 4.
God has given you a desire to do what He wants you to do and He has given you the ability to do it.
What do you enjoy doing. Find a way to serve others doing what you do well and enjoy the most.
What can we do when we feel empty that will fill us up on what’s healthy?
The irony is we can’t focus on getting anything. Our focus has t/b on giving everything.
Give just to give then we will get something significant in return.
But, if we give to get, then the only thing we will get is disappointed.
When the temptation is to circle your wagons b/c you’re hurting, depressed, empty inside.
Don’t give in. Don’t give anything to try to get something.
Give just to give and get everything you need.