Keys to Overcoming (Emotional)Your Pain: Character Counts
Series: Keys to Overcoming (Emotional)Your Pain - Part 4 - Bonding Possibilities is Contingent on One's Character 1 Samuel 18:5;14-15 (Context verses1-15) 5 And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul's servants. 14 And David behaved himself wisely in all his ways; and the LORD was with him. 15 Wherefore when Saul saw that he behaved himself very wisely, he was afraid of him. Title: Character Counts Character-one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual * Beauty Catches the Attention but Character Catches the Heart. * Bonding with others before, during and after, helps to us to navigate through and out of our most painful experiences. * First, a truthful self-evaluation if possible must occur to see if we are non-stick personalities, slippery and difficult persons to bond with. Unfortunately this is often the case when we have emotional pain. * Secondly, discerning, who we are to bond with is critically in healing correctly with as little emotional scar tissue as possible. * Remember the advantage and importance of Bonding is God's will for all of us, to have intimate relationship with others help us to grow and become our image of God selves. * It's in isolation and disconnection, absent of honest, open and transparency we continue to suffer unhealed from our pain. Last week we start the discussion about 3 men David, Jonathan and Saul. Only two of the men bonded and I believe that the character of these men determined the depth, quality and intimacy of these relationship. Emotional Isolation is the greatest link to continually Emotional Pain. Contrasts of Character Creates Contentious Consequences 5 And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul's servants. Went, Sent and Seen Obedience of David Authority of Saul Absence of Jonathan Behaved * to manage the actions of (oneself) in a particular way * to conduct (oneself) in a proper manner Wisely * to be prudent, be circumspect, understand, prosper * to be prudent, be circumspect * to look at or upon, have insight * to give attention to, consider, ponder, be prudent * to have insight, have comprehension 6 And it came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet king Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments of music. 7 And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands. 8 And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom? 9 And Saul eyed David from that day and forward. 10 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul's hand. 11 And Saul cast the javelin; for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it. And David avoided out of his presence twice. Praise, Anger, Assault The Conquest, Reputation and Praise of David vs. 6-8 Wroth * Intensely angry: highly incensed Displeased - * yara- to tremble, quiver The Envious, Lethal and Ungrateful Nature of Saul vs. 9-11 * Evil Spirit - when God departs and leaves us, the results of secret hatred uncheck and unintended * Prophesied -under the Evil Spirit * The Absence of Jonathan 12 And Saul was afraid of David, because the LORD was with him, and was departed from Saul. 13 Therefore Saul removed him from him, and made him his captain over a thousand; and he went out and came in before the people. 14 And David behaved himself wisely in all his ways; and the LORD was with him. 15 Wherefore when Saul saw that he behaved himself very wisely, he was afraid of him Unacknowledged Fear, Unrepentant Blaming, Unsuccessfully Plotting * The Fear of Inadequacy Promotes Isolation vs. 12-13 * The Consistency of Intimate Relationship Produces Maturity vs. 14-15 * The Absence of Jonathan * The Absence of Jonathan speaks to his ability to bond and be in the background, this humility is the most powerful character trait in this triune relationship. His absence made his character more powerful and his bonding more adhesive. * His Character as we will see Helped his Father and Saved David life.