In Christ no Male nor Female
Last week we spoke about the equality between men and women, and it has led to some good discussion this week. Some men when they heard that in Synagogues men and women sat apart, separated by a lattice wall, asked if we couldn’t start a synagogue.
As we start out this morning I want to just emphasise something.
I believe that Scripture tells us that when we are in Christ, that men and women are equal.
That means that men are not superior to women
But it also means that women are not superior to men.
There is to be equality.
So this morning I want us to look at a difficult text, because it has been misused to suppress women.
Ephesians 5 v 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
This morning I started reading the passage at verse 22, and the reason I did this is because the NIV Bible has a caption between verse 21 and verse 22 which says, “Husbands and Wives”
This caption, which Paul never put there, makes you think Paul is starting to talk about something new here. And the problem is the caption, and the place where the caption is put, changes the meaning of what you are reading.
When we read it like that, we would think it is quite clear that wives should submit to their husbands
But I am going to start reading just one verse earlier to see if it changes the meaning.
Paul says
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Paul says “Submit to one another … wives submit to your husband..
What do you expect to follow?
I would expect to hear how husbands submit to their wives.
This morning I want to interrogate what Paul is saying for a few minutes.
He calls for husbands and wives to submit to one another.
To women he says “Submit to your husbands as to the Lord”
Paul is not asking for a blanket submission. He says “wives, submit to your husbands AS TO THE LORD or AS THE CHURCH SUBMITS TO CHRIST.
So to understand this submission, we need to understand, “How do we submit to the Lord?”
We submit to Jesus with joy and confidence to let Him save us, heal us, provide for us, empower us.
When I am submitted to Jesus, I do not give up my ability to think and speak and ask questions.
When I am submitted to Jesus, He opens my eyes to things I have never seen. He quickens my thoughts so that I am free to think in amazing new ways.
Jesus always stretches me to be more than I ever thought I could be.
We submit to God out of free will and because I know that His plans for me are GOOD. We submit to Jesus because He earned our trust when He died in our place on the cross.
When God calls us, we choose to submit to Him, God does not force us into obedience. God allows you to say “NO”, to Him.
The Greek word used for “submit” means that even though you are strong, put away your strength and allow yourself to be weak.
It’s the same concept as Jesus, who is God, who strips Himself of His Godly nature and takes on the form of a servant.
Paul does not say “Obey your husband”, as in “do everything you are told”, he says submit, let your guard down a little and allow him to help you.
In the movie “DANCES WITH WOLVES, Kevin Costner falls in love with a Native American women called, “STANDS WITH A FIST”.
I think Paul is saying, “Put your fists down”.
In Psalm 23, the Psalmist says,
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
This person trusts the shepherd to make it lie down in green pastures, the sheep submits to the shepherd to be led to quiet streams. The shepherd guides the sheep in paths of righteousness.
The Church trusts Jesus to lead her to good places. Jesus leads us out of bondage, out of slavery, out from under the curse and into freedom.
We can respond to God by allowing ourselves to be set free, or we can stand with a fist and refuse God’s grace and His love.
Do not be fooled into thinking Paul is saying to wives, “Submit to your husband when he is abusing you, beating you and swearing at you.” Paul is not saying submit to your husband when he is leading you to desserts and sin.
Paul says to women in fight mode, allow yourself to drop your armour just as you would to Jesus when he is leading you to good things.
I once did some life saving training, and our instructor said “sometimes when you swim out, the person who is drowning is in a total state of panic and they may resist your help. They may hit you and push your hands away and stop you saving them.”
I think this is the kind of image Paul has in his mind. In Paul’s time women were seen as second class citizens. They were usually uneducated and had few rights. And so women were either slaves to their husbands, or violent feminists who wanted nothing to do with men.
I believe Paul is saying, “Allow your husbands to set you free to be equals in society.”
A year ago Sam and I took a friend out to Mordecai, the place of safety for abused and abandoned babies. When we were leaving Sam was still chatting and I went to sit in the car. Our friend went to Sam and said, “Sam, your husband is waiting in the car, you must come now!”
I think Paul would expect me to say to that friend, “My dear friend, Sam is not my slave but my equal, her time is just as valuable as mine, and so if she is still busy, she doesn’t have to rush just because HER MAN is waiting”.
And I think Paul would say, “Sam, let Mike speak out for you”.
But the second half of what Paul is saying is that husbands are to love to their wives, and again Paul qualifies his statement.
He says husbands are to love their wives “As Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her to make her holy”.
In Paul’s day moral teachers taught that men should teach their wives to be obedient. Can you see the contrast as Paul says husbands should love their wives?
Husbands submit to their wives by laying down their lives for them as Christ gave up His life for the Chruch.
Philippians says Jesus emptied Himself of all glory, He humiliated Himself for his bride.
Jesus loves His bride so much, that He gave up all the benefits of heaven to come to earth. Scripture says He became poor so that we could be rich.
As God in heaven, Jesus was omniscient, He knew everything,
He was omnipotent, He was all powerful.
In heaven Jesus was removed from all sin, all pain, all tiredness.
And yet Jesus gave up all of the privilege of heaven to come to earth, not to be born in a palace surrounded by servants, He came to earth and was born in a stable.
Application
I think usually we would say that men need to sacrifice for their wives by going and getting a job, the best job they can, and by working hard to bring home the bacon.
In this sense it is appropriate to say, “Men should leave the comfort of their lazy boy chairs in front of their big screen TVs and sacrifice their day for their wives.”
But our world is changing.
The liberation of women has meant women are moving into the workplace, sometimes working longer hours than men and today many of our wives earn more than us. Many of the roles I grew up understanding as the man’s role in the home have changed, and many of us as men struggle to find our new place in the home and in society.
What if Paul would then say to us, “Love your wife as Christ loves the Church, who gave Himself up for her.”
Knowing that you’ve done your part, love your wife enough to sacrifice your pride.
Scripture tells us that at least at one time, as Jesus travelled around preaching and teaching, He was financially destitute, and the only way He and the disciples survived was that a group of women who followed them around supported them financially.
Jesus wasn’t being lazy, but what He was doing wasn’t meeting their needs.
Since Jesus was Jewish, it would be wrong to say His job wasn’t bringing home the bacon.
But at this time Jesus took charity from these women.
Maybe today Paul would say to wives, “Love your husbands enough to lay down your life for him.”
When it comes to roles in the home, I think as men we need to learn to celebrate our wives successes, and also understand that we need to play supporting roles.
AN American preacher named Andy Stanley found he was working longer and longer hours, and was spending less and less time with his wife and children. He says he used to pray, “Lord look after my family as I work here to build your church”.
One day while he was praying he sensed God saying, “Andy, your prayer is back to front. I have promised to provide for you and to grow the church; I will make sure you have your daily bread. That is my end of the bargain.
But at the same time I have commanded you to love your wife. Now you want me to go look after your wife while you do my work.”
Andy said he went home and asked his wife, “Honey, what are the most important two hours in any day that I need to be home to help you?”
Her reply was that she needed help from 5 to 7 when she cooked and bathed the children.
From that day, he made sure he was home from 5 to 7 to help his wife.
Often at 7 o clock he would need to go out again, but he gave up those hours for his wife because they were important to her.
Imagine if men loved their wives half as much as Jesus loves the Church, what would that look like?
Paul says this is a mystery but he is actually talking about Christ and the Church.
When wives put down their fists and allow their husbands to help them to become all they can be, and when husbands make sacrifices for their wives because they love them, it goes against the grain of the world.
I believe such families glorify God because they serve as signs of how much God loves the Church.
For Communion read Ephesians 4 1 baptism etc