Does Marriage Matter?

The Ten Commandments  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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"Thou shall not commit adultery"

Notes
Transcript

Opener

“The American family is changing in many ways: Cohabitation is on the rise, more adults are delaying or forgoing marriage, a growing share of children are living with an unmarried parent, and same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states.
Amid these changes, three-in-ten U.S. adults think it’s a good thing that there is growing variety in the types of family arrangements people live in, while about half as many (16%) say this is a bad thing. The largest share (45%) don’t think it makes a difference, according to a Pew Research Center survey conducted in June 2019.” - Deja Thomas, Pew Research Center
What I want you to see in the chart behind me is that while those who think a non traditional family structure is a good thing has decreased slightly and those who think it is a bad thing has decreased the only category to increase, and to do so significantly, is those who are indifferent. Those who are indifferent toward marriage and family.
I expect that from a lost and dying world. But dearly beloved the Christian cannot be indifferent when it comes to the importance of marriage.
Does Marriage matter? If you value God at all your answer to that has to be yes! But why? Why does marriage matter?
You cannot be indifferent when it comes to your own marriage and you cannot be indifferent when it comes to the idea of marriage. Because standing behind every marriage is an idea, a concept, a covenant that is bigger than anyone one of us and any single marriage.

Marriage is God’s

Marriage is God’s Idea & glory

Remember the 10 Commandments are more than mere commands they are covenant. Deuteronomy 5:2 says “The Lord our God made a covenant with us at Horeb”… He says in verse six “I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery” and in verse 18 He says, “You shall not commit adultery.”
The words we are dwelling on today: Though shall not commit adultery in Deuteronomy 5:18 make absolutely no sense unless we understand the words writeen in Genesis 1:27. Unless we understand the covenant God creates in Genesis.
Genesis 1:26–28 NASB95
26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Being an “image bearer” means we are made to bring glory to another. Not ourself. We are not the archetype. We are the reflection. An image bearer only fulfills its purpose when it brings glory to the archetype.
If I had one person stand here with a flashlight and another person stand here with a mirror they serve to very different purposes. One is the source and the other is the reflection. To be an image bearer is to be the mirror, the one who reflects God’s glory. If the mirror says I am going to do my own thing or makes it all about me it ceases to reflect it ceases to shine. Being an image bearer in and of itself has no significance. It is 100% percent dependent on what or who you are made in the image of. We are not made in the image of the sun, nor the moon, nor the stars… something far more valuable. We are made in the image of the eternal creator. Now that is a high and noble calling.
Do you know why Adam was made from dirt? Why not gold, or diamonds? Dirt doesn’t have any value… 100% of value is derived from who made it. Paint is very cheap. No one pays a lot of money for paint and a canvas. But if an artist can put it together in the right way it can be worth millions. God got down on his hands and knees and crafted us in his own image.
But notice! He doesn’t just create “him” that way he is creating “them” that way. While it is important that every individual is an image bearer we also see of equal importance that through marriage, their collective union, Adam and Eve bring glory of God. It is through their obedient collective union that they can actually fulfill their duty to the Creator. We can even go deeper. Until the woman is created there is something that is “not good” and after she is created God says it is “very good”. It is only through their collective union, marriage, that they can live up to their calling as image bearers.
When I say “Marriage is God’s” it is more than his idea. Though it is. It is His glory. It is the “very good” creation that allows man to fulfill his duties to his Creator. Through marriage we bring glory to God in a very special and necessary way. Marriage is God’s glory.
Church would you just say that with me: “Marriage is God’s glory”.

One Flesh

But lets go deeper. When we zoom in with the creation of man and woman in chapter 2 we come across one of the most fascinating to quote Paul “mysterious” passages in the Bible.
Genesis 2:24 NASB95
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
This is the first exegesis recorded in Scripture. The narration stops and The Holy Spirit goes let me explain what is going on here: FOR THIS REASON a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
“One flesh” is an analogous term that means much more than physical union. It means they are one:
Physically
Financially
Emotionally
Spiritually
Paul says to husbands, the way you treat your wife is the way you treat yourself!
But it also does describe the most intimate of acts between two human beings who were made for each other.
If marriage doesn’t matter than adultery doesn’t matter. But marriage does matter and adultery is a series thing. Adultery brings in an outside third party and not just brings them but violates the sacred act of marriage. The symbolic union of their oneness.
It doesn’t just violate a marriage covenant either. It violates the God who gave us the command “the two shall become one.” And it violates the God glorifying institution of marriage that He created to reflect His image and His goodness! Adultery is a serious thing friends! Marriage matters because God matters.
Marriage is God’s. It is His creation. It is His glory. So marriage isn’t just important it is necessary.

Joined

Beloved we can go deeper here today.
When a man and woman get married they are making a covenant not just with eachother, but with God almighty.
Jesus says these words in reference to Genesis 2:24, “the two shall become one flesh passage”… he says:
Matthew 19:6 NASB95
6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Do not miss what Jesus is doing here friends. He is not merely affirming the Old Testament sexual ethic. He is not just affirming holy doctrine based on God’s created order. He is not just quoting the first exegesis provided by God Himself in Scripture. He is expounding it even further. Listen to these words very carefully: “What God has joined together.”
“What God has joined together”
Church say with me: “What God has joined together let no man separate.” Amen!
This means the sin of adultery doesn’t just violate the sacred covenant that two individuals have. It doesn’t just dishonor the concept of marriage that glorifies God. It goes further… it separates the very work of God, in each and every individual marriage, in joining two as one.
Violating the marriage covenant in ancient Israel was a violation of Israel’s covenant with God! Violation of the marriage covenant with your spouse is violation of your covenant with God.
Friends this means we cannot be indifferent toward marriage. It means Marriage matters!
God is the Creator of Marriage
and the Creator of EVERY BIBLICAL MARRIAGE. What is marriage? It is what God does. It is what He joins together! What He has joined together let no man separate. Amen?

Marriage Needs Redeeming

Jeremiah 3:6–10 NASB95
6 Then the Lord said to me in the days of Josiah the king, “Have you seen what faithless Israel did? She went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and she was a harlot there. 7 “I thought, ‘After she has done all these things she will return to Me’; but she did not return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8 “And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also. 9 “Because of the lightness of her harlotry, she polluted the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. 10 “Yet in spite of all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to Me with all her heart, but rather in deception,” declares the Lord.

Unfaithful Israel

God describes the idolatry of faithless Israel as adultery… spiritual adultery. The Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ declares loud and clear that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. All have been unfaithful to our creator. All have violated his commands. All have done what was right in our own eyes. All have exchagned the truth of God for a lie. All have been a god to themselves. All have acted wickedly. All have played the spiritual harlot.
Yet when we were unfaithful, God’s steadfast love remained true. While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. We didn’t beg to come back and talk him into forgiving us nor manipulate his love. While we were “yet” sinners. While we were “lost”. While we were “blind”. While we were “dead” in our trespasses Christ with his great love lOVED us. He, because of his great love not because of anything in us… He came to seek and to save. We were not seeking he was.
And while we were yet sinners Jesus died upon that cross. The Bible says sexual immorality is the only sin against his own body (1 Cor 6:18)… every other sin is outside himself. If I steal… that is external, if I murder that is external, and even if I get drunk or be a glutten that is taking something that is external. But with immorality I misuse my very own body. Jesus bore our sins in His body on the cross (1 Peter 2:24). The faithful groom didn’t save us in the sense that he pushed us out the way of oncoming traffic that would imply we were possibly inocent. But He Himself bore or sin, or shame. The faithful messiah bore the sins of his faithless people.
Knowing this. Knowing that it is by grace you have been saved. Not anything you have done. To quote Jonathan Edwards, “The only thing you contributed to your salvation is the sin that made it possible.” Knowing what a merciful God we have do you see why we must not take lightly such a great salvation? Do you see why we must response with haste and while today is still today repent and call upon His name! We must not make light of this, we must treasure the great salvation we have in our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.
If you have never put true living faith in the person of Jesus before I entreat you to do that today.
If you have been backslacking I emplore you to run to thr one of grace. To htrow yousrself on the mercy of the cross. And trust in Him, and Him alone, for the forgivness of sins.
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Restoration

Jesus doesn’t just forgive He restores. We don’t just go from sinners to not sinners. We go from sinners to saints. We don’t go from enemies to merely not enemies. We go from enemies of God to Sons and Daughters of God.
I just want to say this very clearly today Jesus died for the sin of adultery and all forms of sexual immorality.
Are you an adulterer? Have you committed adultery? The Blood of Christ is your only hope friend. and it is hope in deed.
When me and my wife were in college before we were married we ministered to a family in Toccoa GA that had a small army of kids. The Dad had done some very evil things and violated not only his marriage covenant but other members of the family. I can’t tell you the number of hopeless judgmental thoughts that went through my head. And I am not saying today that sin doesn’t have consequences. You can be forgiven by the blood of Jesus and your victims, your family, your spouse can still have the wounds you caused. It doesn’t jsut go away. But friends I just want to say this:
This man went to a program to get help and that family was restored. Did they still have plenty of things to work through. Yes. Did God work miracle, Yes. Does every story work out this… not in this life for sure. And a marriage takes two. You can only control what one does (yourself). But don’t stop believing in the blood of Jesus restoration, healing, and hope in your life.
Increase your faith for what the Blood of Jesus can do for your marriage. Marriage matters not just because God made, but He redeemed it with His blood!
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Every Marriage deals with Sin

Genesis 2:23 the man is singing poetry to his new wife and in 3:12 they are having their first argument.
Does that sound like your marriage? Is your marriage not perfect? Welcome to the club!
Every marriage deals with sin. In fact part of the curse when sin entered the world through Adam, the man, had a direct impact on marriage. See Genesis 3:16.
We needed a resurrection. We needed saving. And friends MARRIAGE needs a resurrection. Marriage needs saving. Our marriages need Jesus. If the one who created, joined and redeemed marriage is not at the center of your marriage you are doing marriage wrong!
Paul in Ephesians 5 says of the Genesis passage of the two become one this: “This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”
Do not miss the significance of this. This means marriage not only bears the image of God it bears the image of God’s redemption of mankind, Christ and the Church.
That’s powerful.
Does Marriage Matter? Yes, but understanding this in light of our redemption we must scream “YES! MARRIAGE MATTERS!” The Christian marriage then, this side of the cross, is called to a higher standard. Marriage is God’s idea, His glory, His joining, His Redeeming… So Christian we must live by the power of the Holy Spirit at the standard God has called us to.

Marriage requires work & wisdom

We say this to every couple we do premarital with: “Always be working on your marriage”. We say this over and over again. We try to say it at every meeting we have. There are two reasons for this. We know before you get married it is more theory than practice. So when they do get married and the face difficulty, and they will, they will remember those words and go “Oh yeah marriage takes work”.

FLEE

Flee - Flee immorality. Do whatever it takes.
Proverbs 5:1–8 NASB95
1 My son, give attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my understanding; 2 That you may observe discretion And your lips may reserve knowledge. 3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey And smoother than oil is her speech; 4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death, Her steps take hold of Sheol. 6 She does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it. 7 Now then, my sons, listen to me And do not depart from the words of my mouth. 8 Keep your way far from her And do not go near the door of her house,
Adultery starts in the heart, per Jesus in Matthew 5, and it often times does little things to get closer and closer and closer to sin. And little things steps to get deeper and deeper and deeper into it. Steve, you sound like someone who knows how sin works? I do, first hand. You can this advise here that says, “keep your way far from her (or him) and do not go near the door of her house” or you can have a fools reward. The church in our day and age has become the master of knowing the letter of the law. I can get this close and its technically not a sin. Who are you to judge me. We need to be bathed not just in knowing what is right and what is wrong we need the wisdom in how to stay far from it.
Before you get married every couple should have boundaries that keep you from going to far. If you are going to far you know you need help and you need to reach out to a godly, older married couple for help… not your single friend.
After you get married every married couple should have agreed upon boundaries the keep you together. That preseve oneness and guard against anything coming in between that.
I had a professor in college, a godly man, say in class one time. If I saw one of you girls broke down on the side of the road, and we were going through the book of proverbs in this class, and he said I would stop and try to help, I would call someone, I would even let you drive my car… but I wouldn’t give you a ride alone. Him and his wife had a rule about being alone with the oposite sex. And he said this, “Some will call me extreme, some will call me a legalist, some will call me all kinds of things… but you know what they will not call me? An adulterer.” And that my friends is the heart of wisdom for a godly marriage.
Jesus says this
Matthew 5:27–30 NASB95
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 “If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.
Notice the radicalness in dealing with sin. This doesn’t mean literaly mutilating yourself. The NT out right condemns self mutilation and says self abasement is of no value in batteling fleshly indulgences. So what does Jesus mean? He means be willing to do whatever it takes. He means make no prevision for the flesh in regards to its lust. He means by the power of the Holy Spirit put to death temptation. A really simple way to start to do that is to quite literally “call upon the name of the Lord” in your time of need. These simple words: “Jesus help me” are powerful for those who are in Christ.

PURSUE

2. Pursue - You can’t just try not to sin. You also have to do the positive things.
Proverbs 5:15–18 NASB95
15 Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well. 16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be yours alone And not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
If you are married you can’t just sit back on your haunches. You must actually chose to pursue and value your spouse. Men in particular you have a duty to do this. Pursue your wife. When Paul talks to the church in Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3 with what is often called the “household code” and in Christ Jesus the curse pronounced in Genesis 3 is being reversed when Husbands, as the leader, follow in Christ’s foot steps sacrificially loving and serving their wife. And Wives as the helper, with supernatural empowerment from the Holy Spirit, seek to respect their husbands. Neither husband nor wife sit idely by hoping they may feel like caring out their Christian duty.
If he would do this… I would do that.
Or if she would stop this I could love her.
Christian love is not tit for tat. I’ll love you when you love me. Or I’ll forgive you when you forgive me. Or you hurt me so I am going to hurt you.
No the Gospel defines our marriage, so with the help of the Holy Spirit we opperate at a higher calling. It doesn’t really matter who your spouse is you see… it matters who your savior is. And by the strength he supplies you can pursue love in your marriage. That beautiful Christian love that is much more than a feeling but a verb that actual does something.
Marriage is hard work. It takes patience, long suffering, tons of forgiveness, mercy and grace. It takes learning your spouse. Your spouse is different than you. That means you have to get outside yourself and the way you think the world should work and love this creature opposite you. And that my friends is by design.
Just like no Christian “arrives” at perfection in this life so no marriage arrives at perfection in this life. You are constantly tending it. constantly pulling weeds. Constantly mending fences. Looking out for new threats. And by golly put your heal to the head of that serpent of old who love to destroy your marriage.

Closing

Though shall not commit adultery. Marriage is God’s and must be held in high honor among all. Marriage must be redeemed… every marriage. and Marriage is hard work… something that must be stewarded to guard biblical oneness and to bring glory to the Creator and Redeemer of Marriage! Amen!
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