In Reference to Roles in Afton
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ME: New Relationships
ME: New Relationships
Is anyone familiar with the play, Pygmalion?
I had it explained to me at a conference once,
And though I am not familiar with the play, I am familiar with the concept.
In fact, it is used as the inspiration for many more modern works.
My Fair Lady, Pretty Woman, She’s All That, and even some of the undertones in the first Trolls movie,
Were all inspired by the premise of Pygmalion.
It seems almost like each generation develops another rendition of this famous and influential play.
Well, in the original Pygmalion, this superficial social climbing family, the Eynsford-Hills,
One of the members bumps into a flower girl, Eliza.
Their collision results in her dropping her flowers, her only source of income in a poverty-stricken world, into the mud.
Meanwhile, a bystander, Henry Higgins, is writing down everything Eliza says.
He introduces himself as a professor of phonetics.
Another man who is interested in phonetics arrives, Colonel Pickering,
Engages in a discussion with Higgins.
So, Higgins tells Pickering that he could pass this flower girl as a duchess just by teaching her to speak properly.
Later, Pickering makes a bet with Higgins regarding his boast.
Throughout the place, person after person mistreats Eliza.
Especially Higgins, he tries to buy her off for multiple things,
He cleans her up, puts fancy clothes on her, gives her jewelry and makeup, and trains her speech.
Throughout the play, Pickering makes scattered appearances,
Every time, he is a total gentleman, treating Eliza like a lady.
Sure enough, Higgins takes her to a party and she is believed to be a duchess.
He believes he makes her who she is,
But Eliza’s responds by saying;
“The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she’s treated.
Later, she says to Pickering
“I know I can be a lady because you always treat me as a lady and always will.”
This morning we are looking at Ephesians 5:18-33,
It is In Reference to Roles in Afton.
First, we will look at the Role of the Spirit in vs. 18-21,
Next, the Role of Wives in vs. 22-24,
Last, we will end looking at the Role of Husbands in vs. 25-33.
What we will see, is that as Christians,
We are the bride of Christ.
We were all the poor flower girls,
Like Eliza, we are not transformed by our behavior.
We are transformed by how we are treated.
We know how to embrace our roles because of how Christ treats us.
So, as we prepare this morning’s study, I want to invite you to join me in prayer;
PRAY
WE: The Role of the Spirit (vs. 18-21)
WE: The Role of the Spirit (vs. 18-21)
Let us begin looking at the Roles in Afton with the Role of the Spirit in Eph. 5:18-21;
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Continuing the trend of chapter 5,
Paul begins with a prohibition against getting drunk.
But this seems to be more than a prohibition of mere drunkenness.
Contrasting getting drunk by being filled with wine against being filled with the Spirit seems to indicate a prohibition against false worship.
If you remember back to our survey of the city of Ephesus,
We talked about a variety of forms of idol worship that the Gentiles of Ephesus participated in.
One such form of worship was practiced by the cult of Dionysus,
The god of wine.
Worshipers of Dionysus would get drunk off wine believing that Dionysus would enter the bodies of the worshipers,
Giving them the ability to prophesy through frenzied dance and music.
Paul describes this type of worship as debauchery.
This prohibition is still applicable today regarding drunkenness.
Although people don’t view getting drunk as worship of Dionysus.
People are worshiping the gods of Budweiser, Cabernet, and Jim Beam.
Like Dionysus, people believe the gods of today fill their body,
Giving them abilities to do things they cannot do without it,
Often involving frenzied dance and music.
I believe Paul would look at our alcohol culture today and describe it as debauchery.
Now, I always have to confess when I am talking on the subject of alcohol;
I have a personal disdain for alcohol and I have to be cautious not to allow it to cloud what Scripture teaches about alcohol.
When it comes to alcohol, Scripture draws a line against drunkenness.
It does not say to abstain from it altogether.
But I would contend that Scripture teaches there is wisdom to abstaining from alcohol.
Proverbs 20:1, 23:29-35, demonstrate the wisdom of abstaining:
Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.
Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who tarry long over wine; those who go to try mixed wine. Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder. Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart utter perverse things. You will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea, like one who lies on the top of a mast. “They struck me,” you will say, “but I was not hurt; they beat me, but I did not feel it. When shall I awake? I must have another drink.”
Again, do not misunderstand me.
I am saying there is wisdom to abstaining from alcohol,
It is one simple way to avoid drunkenness altogether.
But does Scripture prohibit the drinking of alcohol?
No, so even if we determine to abstain from alcohol, we must not make it a legalistic standard for all Christians.
Paul’s prohibition here is against drunkenness, against debauchery.
Instead, he says to be filled with the Spirit.
This is the same Spirit we have been sealed with according to Eph 1:13-14, 4:30;
In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
This being sealed is a once-for-all acceptance into the body of Christ.
But being filled with the Spirit happens throughout our lives as Christians.
It is something that we are to continually pursue after.
In Col 3:15-16, Paul explains this pursuit in this way:
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, vs. 15 says.
Meaning the peace of Christ will govern, will have authority in our hearts.
Second, in vs. 16, Paul said to let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.
So, Paul explains this pursuit of being Spirit-filled as letting the peace of Christ rule in your hearts and letting the word of Christ dwell in you richly.
To be filled with the Spirit is to be filled with Christ and His Word.
We see Jesus explained this throughout John’s Gospel.
First in John 14:26, Jesus says;
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.
Later in John 16:13-15, Jesus continues;
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.
The Father sent the Holy Spirit to be our Helper after Jesus returned to the Father when He ascended to heaven.
When we first receive the Holy Spirit, He guides us into truth
He declares the words of Jesus to us,
Teaches the words of Jesus to us,
And reminds us of the Words of Jesus.
All to glorify Jesus.
So, what Paul is doing is bridging what Jesus teaches about the Spirit to what it means to be Spirit-filled.
As we look at in Colossians, Paul taught that being Spirit-filled is to let the Word of Christ dwell in us richly.
What Jesus is teaching in John’s Gospel is that hearing, learning, and being reminded of His Words are what it means to have His Word dwell in us.
Hearing, learning, and being reminded of the Words of Jesus is the ministry of the Holy Spirit.
So when Paul says to be filled with the Spirit in our passage this morning,
We understand this means continually hearing, learning, and being reminded of the Words of Jesus.
The outflow of this we see in vs. 19, is addressing one another in worship to the Lord.
What exactly does this mean?
We worship God alone, so why does Paul say we address one another in this worship?
Because he is accounting for the corporate nature of worship.
The fact that there is a congregation of people worshiping together,
We address one another for the mutual benefit in or corporate worship to the Lord.
Another example of this is the idea of Hebrews 10:24 which says;
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,
Specifically in our passage this morning,
The type of worship Paul mentions are threefold synonyms of psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.
Which he then summarizes as singing and making melody.
But we saw Paul use the same phrase: psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs,
In Colossians 3:16.
He is talking about the presence of music in the corporate worship of the church.
All three of the words Paul uses for music are found throughout the Book of Psalms and used synonymously.
So the music in the worship of the church is not restricted to a specific type of music.
To restrict the type of music would actually seem to miss the point of what Paul is saying.
He is piling term after term to highlight the variety of musical expression that the body of Christ can sing from their heart to the Lord.
Each term though specifies the music as spiritual to distinguish from any secular song being sung in corporate gatherings.
The word used for spiritual when he says spiritual songs we see used in some of his other letters.
For example, we translate it as mature in 1 Cor. 2:6;
Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away.
This term spiritual, or mature, literally communicates the idea of perfection.
But this is not talking about some type of spiritually elite Christian.
It simply is referring to the influence of the Holy Spirit.
A mature person is a person who has the Spirit.
That means every believer is spiritual, every believer is influenced by the Holy Spirit, every believer can gain wisdom from God.
This term for spiritual is often contrasted against what is natural,
For example, we see how it is used in 1 Cor. 15:44;
It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body.
This contrast is not just expressing the difference between the material and immaterial.
It is distinguishing between those who have the Holy Spirit and those who do not.
Distinguishing between the unsaved and the saved.
As we talked about earlier in vs. 18,
To be filled with the Spirit is to let the Word of Christ dwell in us.
Now, we understand the Word of Christ dwelling in us brings an outpouring of spiritual songs from we who are spiritual, based upon those same words.
Some examples we see in the NT use God’s Word in the OT to worship in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.
Mary’s song in Luke 1:47-53, Zechariah’s song in Luke 1:67-79, the heavenly host in Luke 2:14, and Simeon’s blessing in Luke 2:29-32 are all rich with OT references.
So, we know that it was common for spiritual people to include singing in their worship of God.
A perfect example is Paul and Silas singing hymns from prison in Acts 16:25.
Last week in Eph. 5:14, we saw an example of a hymn in the early church,
Something that was common in Paul’s letters.
Another brief example can be found in 1 Tim. 3:16;
Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness: He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory.
In all reality what Paul was doing, and what we do when we worship God in song is preparing for eternity.
Look at the variety of examples of worship that we see throughout the Book of Revelation:
Rev. 4:8, 11; 5:9, 10, 12-13; 7:10, 12; 11:15, 17-18; 12:10-12; 15:3-4; 19:1-8; 21:3-4;
And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!”
“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”
And they sang a new song, saying, “Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation,
and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.”
saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!”
and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”
saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.”
Then the seventh angel blew his trumpet, and there were loud voices in heaven, saying, “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and he shall reign forever and ever.”
saying, “We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty, who is and who was, for you have taken your great power and begun to reign. The nations raged, but your wrath came, and the time for the dead to be judged, and for rewarding your servants, the prophets and saints, and those who fear your name, both small and great, and for destroying the destroyers of the earth.”
And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!”
And they sing the song of Moses, the servant of God, and the song of the Lamb, saying, “Great and amazing are your deeds, O Lord God the Almighty! Just and true are your ways, O King of the nations! Who will not fear, O Lord, and glorify your name? For you alone are holy. All nations will come and worship you, for your righteous acts have been revealed.”
After this I heard what seemed to be the loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, crying out, “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for his judgments are true and just; for he has judged the great prostitute who corrupted the earth with her immorality, and has avenged on her the blood of his servants.” Once more they cried out, “Hallelujah! The smoke from her goes up forever and ever.” And the twenty-four elders and the four living creatures fell down and worshiped God who was seated on the throne, saying, “Amen. Hallelujah!” And from the throne came a voice saying, “Praise our God, all you his servants, you who fear him, small and great.” Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
So, what we see in vs. 18-21 is that the role of the Spirit is to fill us,
Which means that the Words of Jesus dwell in us richly,
Prompting us to worship God together using the Words of Jesus to sing and make a melody to the Lord as spiritual people.
Then vs. 21 serves as a transition from explaining the role of the Spirit to a series of roles patterned after Jesus Christ.
This morning we are going to continue by looking at the role of the wife and the husband.
But regardless or your role, all believers pattern themselves after the humility and kindness of Jesus.
Described here as submission to one another.
Just as Jesus ended an argument between His disciples about who was the greatest in Luke 22:26-27;
But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.
He also demonstrated this in John 13:14-16;
If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.
The basis of all our roles is this submission to one another as demonstrated by the servanthood of Jesus Christ.
GOD: The Role of the Wife (vs. 22-24)
GOD: The Role of the Wife (vs. 22-24)
So, with this basis in mind,
Let us first look at the Role of the Wife in Ephesians 5:22-24:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
If you look back at some of the earliest Greek philosophers,
Most prominently Aristotle in the 4th century,
The husband and wife relationship was consistently addressed.
The purpose was to help the husband learn how to govern his family.
Often, attempts are made to say that is exactly what the Bible is doing as well.
But when we read what Paul here, and Peter in his letter, write about it.
They transform the discussion from how the husband will dominate the relationship.
To how they can imitate the love of Christ by nurturing the relationship.
What we see in vs. 22-24 is that the wife, at the same time, has her role defined in terms of service to Christ.
This transforms wives from being passive objects that are socially devalued according to early philosophers.
Into active partners with God and His good and perfect and pleasing will.
Ephesians has taught us how Jesus gives life to this community defined by His love,
This community that is His Body,
The Church.
His love then likewise defines the marriage relationship.
A woman and man of equal value and worth who complement one another.
In the later verses, Paul defines the husbands role as a leadership role.
But understanding the equal value and complementary nature of wives and husbands explained in our passage this morning
Teaches that the husbands authority is not absolute.
A better way to understand this is that the husband initiates while the wife responds.
In 1 Cor. 11:8 and 1 Tim 2:13,
Paul shows that his understanding of husband leadership is based upon the order in which the first husband and wife were created;
For man was not made from woman, but woman from man.
For Adam was formed first, then Eve;
He continues in 1 Tim. 2:14 taking into account of the effects of the fall;
and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.
So, here in Ephesians 5, Paul is speaking about how the marriage relationship is redeemed in Christ.
This redemption restores the intimacy that a husband and wife were created to enjoy in their marriage.
Paul says specifically the role of the wife is to submit.
Which has unfortunately become misinterpreted as a dirty word in our society today.
Because this role is a call for a wife to gratefully accept care and leadership from her husband.
That implies the presence of care and leadership from a husband.
But notice Paul tells wives to submit as to the Lord.
Later, he begins vs. 24 with the same phrase,
But there says as the church submits to Christ.
Again, this speaks to order.
Christ was the forerunner, then the church, people,
Were made from the image of God.
But the church is not made up of natural people.
No, the church are spiritual people, disciples of Jesus.
When we look at the relationship between Jesus (who exemplifies the role of the husband).
And the disciples (who exemplify the role of the wife).
We see that Jesus does not describe His disciples as just His servants,
No they are His friends, friends that He died for.
Look at this relationship in John 15:12-15;
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
Wives and husbands should love one another, be willing to lay down their life for one another, and be friends with one another.
Just as Jesus did with His disciples.
But going back to vs. 23, Paul further elaborates the marriage relationship by teaching that the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.
As mentioned earlier, throughout Ephesians Paul has taught that Christ’s headship means He leads by taking initiative
But we also have seen how Christ serves as the source of the health and growth of the church.
But it is Christ’s role as Savior that serves as the model for husbands
Does this mean I am saying the husband is the Savior of the wife?
YOU: The Role of the Husband (vs. 25-33)
YOU: The Role of the Husband (vs. 25-33)
No, Paul goes into greater detail explaining the role of the husband in Eph. 5:25-33;
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
There are three clear responsibilities for the role of husbands in these verses.
Husbands are to love, sanctify, and empower.
Let us focus on this first responsibility to love in vs. 25.
When you see this command for husbands to love their wives in our 21st century American context,
It does not stand out much because that is an assumed responsibility of a husband today.
But as I alluded to earlier,
In ancient texts husbands were instructed that their primary role was to rule over their wives.
Therefore, Paul’s command here for husbands to love their wives is unprecedented.
This agape love was never given as a duty or responsibility to the husband.
Paul is commanding husbands to follow Christ.
The way you follow Christ is the way of love.
This is so important Paul repeats himself again in vs. 28 and vs. 33.
Husbands, love your wives.
The reason it is assumed that husbands would live their wives in our culture today,
Is because God’s Word reoriented the role of the husband.
If you compare the expectation of husbands in our culture vs. cultures in other parts of the world that have not been influenced by God’s Word.
What do you notice?
That the authority of the husband is still there,
But the love is absent.
Christ’s self-sacrificing love is applied specifically to the role of the husband.
Think about the context of this love.
We as people were in need because we were in conflict.
We were as unattractive as we could possibly be.
Remember how Paul described us in Ephesians 2:1-3?
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
That was the context when the love of Jesus took initiative.
He loved you in that context with an unceasing, uninterrupted, and unparalleled love.
His love moves toward you and it draws you near to Him.
It is counter-intuitive to the way we tend to respond to others in this type of unattractive conflict.
Husbands, you are to be like Christ, willing to sacrifice everything for the protection and care for your wife.
Do not be passive, or even worse, withdraw from your wife in conflict.
Love like Jesus, initiate reconciliation with your wife, especially in the context of conflict.
The second responsibility is the responsibility for husbands to sanctify.
Christ commited Himself to His relationship with the church,
We see in vs. 26, He washes her from her sin.
Actively preparing her, right now at this moment, for this glorious future with Himself.
This tells us what Christ has done for His bride,
So, what is the application for husbands then, in vs. 26?
Well may have taken this vs. as a call for husbands to lead their wives in some form of daily devotionals.
There is not necessarily anything wrong with that understanding,
But to understand vs. 26 as a call to only lead in daily devotions truly limits the scope of this passage.
And it tends to produce one of two results
Pride for the husbands who are doing this
Or despair for the husbands that don’t.
So, let’s unpack vs. 26 more to see if we can get a fuller understanding.
Notice, Paul uses all past tense verbs when speaking about Christ.
He loved, He gave Himself, and He cleansed her.
Therefore, the sanctification Paul is speaking of is not the present tense sanctification we generally think of,
The idea of ongoing or progressive sanctification.
Peter O’Brien explains in his commentary;
“It is positional sanctification that is in view here, not progressive sanctification…He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.”
This past tense sanctification is that one-time act of being cleansed, forgiven, and set apart.
It is the sanctification that set you apart from the position of death to salvation.
Now you are able to relate to Christ out of this new position.
Part of this positional sanctification includes the washing of water with the word.
Most of us understand this to be God’s Word, the Bible.
And that is kinda true, because God’s Word is Jesus’ Word.
But when Paul talks about God’s Word as a formal reference to Scripture,
He uses the proper noun for it, which we would capitalize in English.
But is the ‘w’ in word capitalized here?
No it is not, so what could this mean specifically?
We summarize this word as the gospel, which again is true,
It is the good news of Jesus, but what is the good news of Jesus?
Not just His life, death, and resurrection.
There are some differing opinions in the finer points, but really, all these differing opinions seem appropriate.
The primary two conclusions of what this word refers to specifically.
Is Christ’s declaration of love for His bride, the church.
Which we see throughout the Bible.
The other, is God’s promises to His bride.
We see the OT littered with promises, from the covenant with Abram and David, to the variety of promises of a coming Messiah,
And Jesus’ promises throughout the NT,
Including the promise we await today for His return!
Jesus’s declaration of love and His promises to us, gives us the security we need to grow in holiness,
It washes us as water.
Experiencing His love, knowing His love in your head and heart, and grasping God’s love, it is foundational to your spiritual growth and maturity.
So husbands, this is more than daily devotionals with your wife.
It brings you back to your wedding day, when you stood before God and man,
Looked your bride in the eyes,
And, like Jesus, declared your love and made a series of promises, vows.
To be like Jesus in this passage, to cleanse your wife,
Is to wash her with the water of that declaration and promises.
It is giving her the security of your love,
The certainty of her position as your bride.
Not based on some standard of who you think she should be,
Not on the basis that she needs to try harder or do more,
Not conditionally given when she gives you what you want.
I want to introduce a man who I believe is a great testimony of this.
J. Robertson McQuilken.
He was the president of Columbia International University from 1968-1990.
As a faithful Christian, he led the university into prominence and growth.
While in the midst of this success, his wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s,
Which is what prompted his resignation.
I want to play a brief clip from his resignation speech.
*Video
It’s not that I have to, he says, it’s that I get to!
I know I have not accomplished this standard.
But I want to.
I want to continue to grow in sanctifying and empowering Stephanie by declaring my love and upholding my promises to her.
Because I truly do love Stephanie.
She is a treasure to me unlike anything this world has to offer.
She has been my greatest joy and sweetest friend in this world.
Like Muriel did for McQuilken,
Stephanie has sacrificed so much for me,
And I am so thankful for her love for me.
Husbands, your wife will be deeply impacted by how you love, cherish, accept, and value her.
See, Christ’s view of us transforms how we view ourselves.
Likewise husbands, the way you view your wife can empower her, nourishing this spiritual growth and maturity,
This washing of water with your word.
Or, it can devastate her, dragging her down into the depths of her already present deep-seated insecurities.
So, Paul is exhorting you to do the latter,
To empower you wife!
As Christ has with us, we see in vs. 27,
To present your bride to yourself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish!
What exactly is Paul emphasizing here?
A cleansing that results in clean outer garments?
Or do these outer garments represent something else?
Perhaps Revelation 19:6-8 can shed some light on Paul’s lesson here:
Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
The fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
So if this presentation of the bride is talking about fine linen,
It would seem Paul is talking about the good works of the church.
So, Christ’s declaration and promises of love empowers you to do good works!
Then likewise husbands, your declaration and promises of love will put this fine linen on your wife,
It will spur her on to good works.
This means the purpose of loving your wife is deeper than enjoyment and satisfaction in your marriage.
It is to have an outward production of good works for the husband and wife team!
Here is a question I want very husband to consider;
Is your wife more like Christ because of your role as her husband? Or, is she like Christ in spite of you?
You must be concerned for the spiritual well-being of your wife.
What are her dreams, her fears, her hopes, her temptations, her disappointments?
Are you shepherding her faithfully?
Do you cherish her? Admire her? Compliment her?
Or are you critical and demanding of her?
WE: Be Filled with the Spirit to Flourish in Relationships
WE: Be Filled with the Spirit to Flourish in Relationships
Paul goes on to quote Gen. 2:24 in vs. 31, which O’Brien describes as the most fundamental statement in the OT concerning God’s plan for marriage.”
This vs. teaches that the helper given to the man was more than an extra set of hands, or a simple remedy to loneliness.
Those were both part of the helper’s purpose,
But ultimately, God tasked both the husband and the wife to jointly improve and complete the work in the garden.
Today, as God’s people, you have been tasked with multiplying disciples.
The marriage relationships is not just for you to give and receive love and intimacy from a companion.
It is to share in this mission and vision with another more deeply than with anyone else in the world.
This shared vision and mission will lead to greater intimacy, to a greater bond.
Which will in turn feed back into greater vision and mission.
This then starts to provide clarity to other teachings in Scripture about the marriage relationship.
For example, do not be unequally yoked, why?
Because a yoke attaches two oxen together to work together in the same direction,
Sharing the burden of the mutual task or mission.
To be unequally yoked means you are now attached to someone who is trying to work in a different direction.
Now you are not sharing the burden, you are increasing the burden on one another.
At the very least, this means that your spouse should be Christian.
But really, it must go far deeper than that.
Even fellow believers can have different visions and missions,
And if two believers do not take the initiative in one another to discover this mission
And become united in their mission and vision,
Then they will find themselves pulling against one another throughout their union.
This is not to say a united vision and mission cannot be established.
If you find yourself being pulled against your spouse, it is likely because there needs to be some equaling in your yokes.
Our passage this morning is placing this responsibility on the husband to take initiative in this vision and mission establishment.
God uses marriages to spread the Gospel,
The first husband and wife were partners in the Garden.
Today, husbands and wives are partners in the Gospel.
As we saw in the first half of our discussion this morning,
Be filled with the Spirit is what is needed to flourish in this relationship.
If I can say it succinctly,
Be filled to flourish.
The Father ordained marriage, Jesus is the model of it, and the Spirit empowers it.
For those who are not married,
Perhaps you have been married, or you are not yet married,
Perhaps you are in a relationship, or some of you may never enter into marriage.
This truth is still applicable.
Paul’s teaching is not a command to get married.
He was not married, Jesus never married.
Marriage is not a requirement for the mission.
God will use marriages for His Gospel advancement for some.
And He will use singleness for His Gospel advancement for others.
Paul laid the foundation for all relationships in vs. 18-21;
Be filled with the Spirit is necessary to flourish in all relationships.
Lord willing, we will look in greater detail at some of these other relationships in the coming weeks, as we study chapter 6.
But after laying the foundation, Paul returns to the greater focus of his teaching in vs. 32.
The teaching on roles, refers to Christ and the church.
By following up his quotation of Gen. 2:24 in vs. 31 with this clarification,
Paul is saying that just as the first Adam was united as one flesh to his bride,
The last Adam, Jesus, is united as one flesh to His bride, the church.
This is the template for human marriages,
But it is also an intertwined teaching of Christ’s marriage to the church.
As Dr. Ben Merkle says;
“God created human marriage so that his people would have a category for understanding the relationship between Christ and his church.”
This relationship is based upon the love of Christ.
In closing, I would like to read Spurgeon’s words on this love of Christ:
“This love of Christ is the most amazing thing under Heaven, if not in Heaven itself…If I had heard that Christ pitied us, I could understand it. If I had heard that Christ had mercy upon us, I could comprehend it. But when it is written that he actually loves us, that is quite another and a much more extraordinary thing!...Who can grasp such an idea? Who can fully understand it? Especially when it comes in this form—HE love me, and gave Himself for me—this is the miracle of miracles!”
This is our worship, let us embrace our role!
Please join me in prayer.